


The war is over

by beingelsewhere



Category: RWBY
Genre: Adam Taurus (mentioned) - Freeform, Coco being Coco, Depression, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Healing, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abortion, It's pretty much angst for now, Now Coco needs a hug dammit!, Past Abuse, Penny Polendina (mentioned) - Freeform, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Suicide Attempt, Unplanned Pregnancy, Veteran Yang AU, Will they or will they not?, Yang needs a hug, Yangst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2019-11-17 14:26:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 107,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18100316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beingelsewhere/pseuds/beingelsewhere
Summary: Yang is a veteran, broken and alone she is running away with the demons of war on her tail.Blake is healed but not whole. Maybe helping a random blonde woman that she ends up saving is exactly what she needs to finally put her past to rest for good?Healing process is long and often painful, but to even start it you need to belive that you can someday be healed. Can Yang win a battle against her own mind, and accept the hope that a stranger gives her?





	1. A beautiful day

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> This is my very first serious dabble into writting fanfiction.
> 
> When I wrote the first chapter I had no idea where this story was heading, but I have the general idea of what this all is going to be (i actually wrote up a plan, be amazed!)
> 
> Any Advice and constructive critique are well appreciated so comment away!
> 
> Also forgive me any linguistic errors (I promise I'll try to get better), while I always thought my english is decent enough, writting something like this is so much harder than I anticipated!
> 
> I'll leave some more details about post schedule and stuff like that at the end!
> 
> Hope you enjoy it!

 

Chapter 1 – A beautiful day

Sun continued it’s journey across the sky, basking the city in delightable warmth, pumping vigor into bodies and minds of all the people swarming the streets. It was one of THOSE days, one that makes you all giddy and happy. One that fills you with optimism and energy.  It was the best day of the year. It was…

_A fucking joke…_

Yang thought to herself, sitting on a bench in one of the city parks. She looked down at the bottle of cheap whiskey held in her left hand. After looking at it intently for few minutes she looked around the park and the neighboring street, visible through crowns of trees and hedges down the alley. The park was swarmed by people, no wonder given how pretty the day was. Also it was Sunday (At least that’s what Yang thought it was.

 _People, people and surprise surprise… more people._ She wanted peace. She wanted quiet. Yet everywhere she went to, there was seemingly infinite mass of people. She felt choked and cramped. _Is this really what I went through that hell for? It wasn’t worth it._ That’s a phrase she told herself so often those past couple months.

Unwittingly smirking to herself, she let her thoughts drown into feelings of frustration and annoyance for a while, before shifting her attention to her left arm. She took few healthy gulps of the brown liquid barely noticing her throat burning from the taste of it. She looked down on her duffle bag laying at her feet, her eyes stopping on a patch that was sewn into dark green cloth. It had insignia on it. A bug made from sharp geometric figures. If you knew what it was it was easily discernible. It brought her thoughts to something nicer. They were good memories, so scarce to find these days in her head. The one good thing that came out of all this mess. Her old unit “The Hornet”. And even that was taken from her by the time the fighting ended.

Thought’s of her time in the army rushed to the front of her mind only to be forcibly shut down by an angry grunt and few more sips of whiskey.

_The war is over. Soldiers are back home. Good triumphed over evil hurra-the fuck-ayyyy._

She joined the army right after high school. When war was fully engulfing western part of the world. Volunteering  without second thought, she would have probably been drafted, being gifted with amazingly athletic body and having trained mixed martial arts since being 6 years old it was no brainer. She remembered how devastated her parents were. They tried to dissuade her from volunteering, wanting to sent her and her sister to Anima, maybe Menagerie even. But Yang didn’t listen.  She craved the rush, the adventure. She needed it. She lived for it.  She was so dumb. If the current Yang cloud meet her 18 year old self again, she would most certainly beat the sense of adventure, her adrenaline rush addiction and basically living shit from herself.

She got her adventure and her rush. She got it all and so much more that she realized she didn’t really want until it was too late. The war was over.

She went, she fought, she survived. The war was over.

Back at the beginning she thought she fought for honor. For good cause, to protect innocent people. To be a hero for everyone to look up to. _What a joke._ She went and fought for 6 years and finally the war was over. It was not worth it.

Yang was a decorated war hero. She was a veteran. She proved her strength time and time again. She was also alone. Lonely and broken. The war was over and all she got for her valiant bravery and naivety were constant nightmares, slowly pushing out every single person that mattered in her life and cheap whiskey that she was almost sure was probably car cooling fluid diluted with water. She ran away from her family, from her friends. She had no job and no home to go to.

She gazed at what little liquid was left in the bottle not noticing how low sun was getting. She felt people all around her. Throwing what were probably disgusted glances, pointing fingers at her. She didn’t care. A strand of her once incredibly vibrant golden, now dirty, greasy and matte,  hair got into her mouth and she nudged her right arm to swipe it of her face. For few seconds she was confused why the hair was still there but then she glanced at her right arm. Or rather at a spot where her right arm should be. The war was over. And she was left beaten and broken. Her gaze fixed on the floppy sleeve of her jacket.

_That’s right, it’s not there anymore. Funny how I forget that… HOW THE FUCK DO YOU FORGET THAT YOUR ARM WAS BLOWN OFF AND IS NO LONGER THERE?!_

 She mentally chastised herself. Her eyes started prickling and swelling with tears. She didn’t fight them as they slowly rolled down her cheeks. The war was over, and after 6 years of it, Yang had no fight left in her.

 

 

Evening breeze strolled through the city, the evening itself was as perfect as the day that proceeded it. It was still warm, and the cool breeze soothed warm skin in just the right way. Yang didn’t notice. She spend whole day sitting at the bench. She completely missed sun’s voyage through the sky, she missed the moment stars started shining on the cloudless night sky, and how park lanterns turned on. Street’s and park alleyways clearing. She didn’t seem to notice anything. What shook her out of her drunken thought spiral were sudden bursts of laughs, and no the kind of nice light hearted laughter. If Yang had to categorize it would be the obnoxious bully laughter. That one type of laugh when somebody stronger torments someone weak and takes pleasure from their suffering. The sickening feeling rippled through her stomach as she got up from the bench. If there was one thing Yang hated (aside from war and her current self) it had to be bullies. She fought them all her school life, protecting her genius kid sister.  Knees wobbly from the combination of sitting for a whole day in one position and cheap booze still streaming through her veins, she decided to make her way towards them. Taking her duffle bag with her, she flinched at the muffled rattling sound coming from it. Once she got close enough she was able to identify the group as four guys surrounding something and poking while laughing at it. The closer she got, the clearer high pitched squealing and sobbing became. Her stomach tightened, and it had nothing to do with all the whiskey she drank without eating anything for a whole day. Yang was few steps away when she noticed a shape curled on the ground in the middle of a circle made up of four seemingly grown men. They howled at themselves and tugged at something on their victim’s head.

_Hair? No wait those are…fuck._

 Yang realized what she earlier assumed were boundless of hair one of the guys was pulling on, was actually a pair of rather long rabbit ears. _A faunus… good to know I left my arm in Vacuo protecting those racist fucks. Job well fucking done Xiao-Long._ Yang thought to herself.

**_Don’t get involved. It’s not worth it. You can’t take them on. Let it be. You can’t even help yourself, how can you think about helping her?_ **

Venomous nagging voice in her head sang. So familiar. So hated and despised by her.

_Shut up, shut up. SHUT UP!_

Her body moved almost automatically once she heard the girl on the ground plead pathetically for the men to leave her alone. Dropping her duffle bag she got to the biggest one them, the one who was bend over, laughing the loudest and tapped his arm few times. The men immediately started to straighten up and turn around.

_-Who the fuck ar.._

He was quickly silenced by Yang’s punch crushing his nose sending him stumbling back onto two of his companions on her left. Rest of them looked at her frozen in shock not really knowing what to do.

_-WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR YOU FUCKS?! SHE BROKE MY FUCKING NOSE!_

Big guy yelled to his friends.

_-And I will break lots of other important stuff you guys have if you kindly don’t fuck off of her this instant._

Yang said quietly, no drunken slur cloud be heard in her voice. She knew her chances. Four of them against one of her. She was out of shape, malnutritioned and downed a bottle of whiskey few hours ago. They are going to steamroll over her, not even her training is probably going to help her being as much of a wreck as she was. Yang hoped that the punch she threw would dissuade all of them form fighting back but she knew it was just wishful thinking. She knew that look on their faces. The predatory look of an asshole that looks at his victim knowing she can’t do nothing to defend herself. She saw plenty of it back when her sister Ruby skipped 2 grades and got into high school early. She was already socially awkward and starting high school early, pointed a giant neon sign for all the bullies to see an easy prey. It was a nightmare for her. For their first year in their new school there wasn’t a week that Yang hasn’t ended up in detention or principal’s office for fighting. She didn’t care back then. Yang was all Ruby had there, and hell would freeze over before Yang let anyone even look with anything less than undying love and friendship at her sister. She really fucking hated bullies.

 _Reap what you sow Xiao-Long._ Yang thought to herself.

She lowered her stance and put her only arm for guard, waiting for them to come at her. If she was going down, it was going to cost them some bruises and hopefully some broken bones.

All three of them charged her at the same time. She threw a punch into the one right in front of her, smirking at the satisfying feeling of it landing on his cheek. She immediately tried to spin with her leg going low hoping to trip another one, but she was off-balance, cause of her arm (or rather lack of thereof) and being still quiet drunk she missed, barely grazing one of the shins of the second assailant. Next thing she knew she was stumbling few steps forward, her spin putting her back towards attackers ( _nice going Xiao-Long, making your instructors real proud)_ when one of them punched her in the back of her head. Her vision going dark for a second, she recovered after a mere moment and quickly spun around. Just in time to see the smallest of the group, a guy with a blond mohawk tackling her to the ground.  A gasp of air shot out of her lungs from the force of the tackle, and whatever was left in them quickly escaped through her mouth once her back hit the ground. Struggling to take a breath she quickly threw couple punches to the head and ear of the man that was on her, pinning her to the ground. She got few good smacks, judging by the yelps of pain coming from him, and with flailing her legs and hips she almost threw him off her, she was doing pretty well given she only had one arm she thought, that is until a boot came from nowhere and hit the side of her face. It felt like somebody hit her with a boulder. Her vision went dark and she could barely feel her left arm being pinned to the ground.  Copper taste in her mouth as she blinked fast to chase the darkness away just to see a fist coming down straight on her face. She heard her nose crack wishing she lost consciousness. She was kind of glad that it was all happening so fast. Her body couldn’t react fast enough to register pain for now. Especially when she started feeling kicks from all sides raining on her body

 _Good._ She thought as her consciousness started fading.

_Maybe they will fucking finish the job proper so I won’t have to deal with injuries on top of everything else._

_Beaten to death by a bunch of racist fuckheads. What a heroic way to die. Not that you deserve anything else Xiao-Long…_ Her thoughts trailed as she succumbed to the darkness.

 

 

She had no idea how much time has passed since she lost consciousness. What she was sure of was that she felt only pain and loud throbbing echoed in her head. She tried to move but a sharp jolt of pain radiating from her ribs got her gasping for air. Breathing hurt… a lot, _at least two cracked ribs,_ actually everything hurt. Currently Yang Xiao-Long was consisting mainly of pain. She could feel it all over her body. Her chest, legs, her arm and her head, it was all just one giant web of throbbing pain. She stayed as still as possible and waited for the pain to subside if even a fraction.

Once she managed to have her thoughts break through the pain she risked opening her eyes, or well one eye since her right one was swollen too much. It was dark. She couldn’t see anything. She closed her eyes back.

_A blind one armed vet walks into a bar…_

She let out a pathetic laugh and immediately froze as sharp waves of pain rippled through her.

_Trying to be funny Xiao-Long? Laying god knows where, beaten half to death, with god knows how many broken bones, but hey at least they didn’t break your sense of humor!_

Yang risked opening her eye for a second time and this time she realized it was just dark. She could see some vague shapes and a window with closed blinds on her right. Moon delicately illuminating shades through their cracks.

_I can see the moonlight through the windows so it’s nighttime at least. Wait window? I didn’t realize parks had windows._

She tried turning her head to the left and quickly came to regret that decision as waves of nausea exploded in her mind. She froze again and waited for them to pass. Once she was sure she’s not going to vomit as soon as she started looking around, she opened her eye and tried to scout her surroundings as best as she cloud without moving her head.

Room Yang currently found herself in wasn’t very big, and it definitely wasn’t a hospital room. A desk in front of the bed, close to its right a wooden closet, tightly fitting into the corner, some cupboards on the other side of the desk. That was all she cloud see for now without turning her head.

- _Hel..lo?_

Yang risked calling out. Her voice was raspy, dry and quiet. Her throat was drought. She swallowed what little saliva she had and tried again.

- _Hello?_

It came out louder and a bit easier this time but still very weak. She waited for a bit listening intently but all she heard was silence. She was about to call out again when sound of faint footsteps followed by click of the opening doors reached her ears. Yang could not make out the silhouette standing in the door.

_-Can… Can I have some water?_

She barely got the words out, her throat was so dry and sore. Whoever it was that opened the door, swiftly turned around and disappeared, just to appear a moment later with a glass in their hand. The silhouette made her way to the left side of the bed and reached her hand for something, suddenly a dim light illuminated part of the room, coming from somewhere over Yang’s head. She focused on the glass that was brought up to her lips. It  had a straw in it so it would be easier for her to drink, she took a small sip, then another and another. After drinking half the glass Yang felt so unbelievably better. _Water is like the only thing in this world that is truly godsend_ she mused to herself. As if the clear liquid washed away some of her dizziness and relieved some of her pain, she took notice of the delicate hands cupping the glass. Long fingers, alabaster skin, nails painted some dark color, maybe purple. Yang risked turning her head very slowly and just enough so she cloud look at this godsend person that gave her such needed relief. First thing she noticed about her savior were two insanely deep pools of dark honey, her eyes so dark in this miniscule amount of light looked so enticing. Like there was something hidden under their surface, some terribly dark secret just waiting to come and puncture the surface. Yang stared at those eyes intently and they stared back at her with similar intensity. It took her a moment to be able to pry her gaze and look at the face of the stranger. Sharp features, thin lips small nose and thin brows. All this framed by what Yang had to assume were girl’s hair, cause to Yang it looked like mass of darkness, it was such a weird experience, like the woman before her was just a face surrounded by darkest depths known to man. A black ribbon bow adorned her head. _She is_ gorgeous, Yang thought. Her mind lost, blatantly staring at her companions face, and only shook out of it when she realized a slight furrow to the woman’s brows.

- _Um Hi.. Thanks for saving me I guess?_ Yang said noticing her voice sounded much more like her.

- _Hi. Do you know your name?_ Dark haired girl asked almost whispering.

- _Um, I’m Yang. Yang X… Yang Branwen._ She corrected herself before she spilled her true last name. Last thing she wanted was for the woman to go check up and possibly get in touch with her family.

- _Do you want me to call someone? Or maybe you want to go the hospital? We weren’t sure what to do with you but you demanded to be kept out of any hospitals before you passed out on us. So we took you to my place._ Stranger said.

- _Wait, I talked with you or something? I honestly can’t remember anything after I punched that big asshole._ Yang said, rummaging through her brain as best as she cloud.

- _Yeah when we run up to you and Velvet those bastards started running and then Velvet started panicking that they killed you,  we wanted to call an ambulance but you woke up and told us not to call anything just take you to some safe alley and drop you there and you would be fine, because ofcourse like we were just gonna causally dump you in some backalley half beaten to death. I have a spare bedroom in my apartment and we decided to take you here and wait it out, unless you took turn for the worse. Then its hospital and you have no say in the matter._ Raven haired girl explained _._

Yang started processing the information she received _. They (whomever they were) took her to the girls apartment and not to the hospital. It was fine. She just needed a couple more hours of rest and she cloud head out and not bother this kind soul that has taken care of her._

 _-Listen, If I cloud stay here for like 4 more hours to rest up a bit, and then I will be on my way and out of yours ok?_ Yang spoke with so little confidence. She knew she was asking for a lot.

 _-You cannot be serious!_ Stranger replied loudly with her brows disappearing into her dark bangs,  eyes wide open.

 _Too much Xiao-long, way too much to ask of someone you don’t even know. Get out of her way, now, **she doesn’t want you here**! _Yang berated herself. She knew moving now is going to be an absolute nightmare, but she had no right to impose her useless ass on this kind girl.  She has already done more than enough for Yang.

- _Sorry, you are right. Just give me few minutes and I’m out of here okay? I’m really sorry I dragged you into this mess._ Yang said hastily, her voice dipped in fear.

Just as she started to prop herself up on her elbows she felt palms on her shoulders, pushing her back into the mattress.

 _-What?! NO! STOP! Lay back down or I swear to god I’m gonna smack you so hard that the next time you wake up you are going to be all healthy!_ Eyes wide open and panic in her voice evident as the strange girl gently pushed Yang back onto the pillow.

- _Listen, You are going to stay here until you get all healed up ok? Why did you even think I would toss you out in the state you are in? I wouldn’t be able to sleep ever again knowing that you tried to go back out there on your own with those injuries. As of this moment you consist more of bruises than healthy flesh. So please, please relax and rest, ok?_  The girl continued.

Yang was baffled. She did not expect such hospitality from a random stranger. And she knew she didn’t deserve it. But she was in so much pain, and she was so tired. She figured she cloud at least sleep for a bit and then bail after.

- _I’ll get you some more water, and you just try to go to sleep ok? I’ll leave the door open so if you need anything just call._ She said heading towards the door.

As she reached it, Yang realized something and her eye snapped open.

- _Hey, wait!_

_-What is it? You need something?_

_-You never told me your name? I mean it’s fine if you don’t want to but at least tell me what to call you then._

Raven haired stranger turned to Yang with a smile on her lips and said.

- _It’s Blake. Blake Belladonna._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 06/10/2019 - Hey guys it's me from the future! I do realize first few chapters are a complete mess(yes there are a lot of clouds), but it gets better later on, I promise! I am not going to reedit those early chapters because I kinda of appreciate how my style changed over the course of this story. So please bear with it at the beginning!


	2. Breakfast club.

When Yang woke up, she wasn’t sure how long she was asleep. Still groggy from her sleep she half opened her eye but everything was blurry. Her head splitting headache has subsided to bearable throbbing, and she cloud still feel every single bruise on her body. Not even trying to stay awake she let her eyelid fall down and sleep quickly took her.

 Next time she came to, It was morning (or afternoon? She couldn’t be sure). For a second she was surprised how quickly she overcame her usual sleepiness, until it hit her. She silently cursed herself because she knew what hellish journey awaited her. She had to go to the bathroom.  Heavily grunting Yang tried to lift herself on her elbow, just for her breath to be quickly stolen by a sharp jolt of pain radiating from her ribs. _Well that’s not happening. New plan._

Gently rolling over to her left side, she grinded her teeth when the pressure on her side made another wave of pain explode. It wasn’t as bad as before and it’s not like she didn’t know how to work through the pain. She slowly propped herself to a sitting position wincing every time she took a short breath. It was such a bizarre feeling. She was hurting all over but she was strangely numb at the same time. A tear of sweat dropped onto her eyelash making her realize how sweaty she was. Minutes passed and Yang made no movement just staring at her feet.

How pathetic she felt, not even being sure if she can actually stand up, let alone walk all the way to the bathroom (not that she knew where it was anyway).  Focusing her thoughts away she placed her left hand on the night stand, at least her arm didn’t seem to be broken. She put as much pressure on it and started slowly sliding from the bed onto her legs. Ignoring thousands of needles stabbing her arm she pushed herself up while keeping her arm on the night stand for stability.

Yang froze bent down gripping the night stand. She couldn’t breathe cause of jolts of sharp pain coursing through her body, her head was also spinning so fast she was pretty sure she was going to pass out any second.  Slowly she tried straightening up. Her head still spinning, but her ribs just feeling like they were being crushed, instead of sharp, breathtaking waves of pain. Taking few shallow breaths helped to slowly stop the carousel that her head was currently taking a ride on.

Yang stood there for few minutes collecting herself.  
_Sit up on the bed – check_  
Stand up from the bed – check  
Now a step. Just a tiny one and we are clear for takeoff!  
  
This small mental checklist helped Yang focus on her task. With begrudgingly slow speed, not even lifting her foot from the ground , she made a small step with her right foot. _Good, now move the other one_. She brought her left one to her right. Stinging pain in her left knee told her it’s better not to put her full weight on it for now so she repeated her little sequence slowly getting close to the doorway. Once she got there, she leaned on the doorframe. Yang was exhausted by her small escapade, unfortunately her need growing with every minute, completely disrespecting the monumental effort she made to attempt her journey. Her mind so focused on seemingly simple, but impossible tasks, didn’t even notice a lively chatter between few female voices coming from outside of the door. She pushed it open to reveal a small corridor with her door at the end, a rather large passageway slightly in front on the left wall. Further down the corridor there was what seemed to be another door. Now fully aware of the fact that seemingly multiple somebody’s were in the house, Yang slowly made her way towards the passageway using left wall as a crutch.

It felt like at least few months have passed before she got there.  Finally being able to lean in the rectangular passage, she was greeted by a view of a square, table from some kind of dark brown wood, decorated by all different kinds of food on it and three people sitting there. One of them was Blake. Yang cloud tell even if she sat with her back to her, the cape of silky dark hair coated the back of her chair.  To her left sat a lean woman, hair cut into asymmetrical bob with a longer stand of hair painted sort of flame’y golden color.  She wore brown blouse, with long loose sleeves, and out of all things sunglasses. The third person sat in front of Blake so Yang couldn’t see her at all. But the pair of long and thing, brown rabbit ears shooting up from her head like antennas told her exactly who it was. The girl from the park.

 Yang was observing them for a bit, when suddenly the short haired girl noticed her. Her head turning so fast Yang was sure she was going to snap her neck. Blake jumped at the sudden movement and bolted out of her chair swiftly turning herself to face Yang. Her eyes wide open, brows burrowing so far up her bangs that they looked like they weren’t there at all. Nobody moved or said anything for few moments, silence and tension getting thicker with every passing second. Out of all things to break this uneasy standoff was a high pitched squeal coming from the rabbit faunus. Seemingly shaken out of her initial shock Blake jumped to Yang, gently putting her arm on her back. Her touch was so delicate and so warm, her eyes now in light of day reminded her of two polished amber jewels. They were mesmerizing.

 _-Why are you up?! You should be laying down and resting!_ Blake said, worry easily discernible in her voice.  
Yang answered after a moment, still looking into her eyes. _Bathroom?_

 _-Crap, of course. Come on I will help you there!_ Blake said quickly moving to Yang’s side, grabbing her left arm, her other hand on Yang’s back. She slowly led Yang through the main room towards another, shorter corridor. Yang pretended not to feel the stares of the other two on her as they made her way through the living room. There was an apartment door straight down the corridor and doors on its left and right side. Left one as it turned out lead to a small bathroom with shower cabin, washing machine past it in the corner on the left side, laundry basket with cupboards above it facing the door, sink and the toilet occupying right side of the room.

Once they got inside, Blake let go of Yang who took few shaky steps towards the toilet, but paused leaning on the wall, she waited a bit and when nothing happened she turned to Blake with a weak smile on her lips.  
_-Blake, are you seriously planning to stay and watch the show?_  Yang asked glancing at her over her shoulder.

 _-What?! No! I… Are you going to be alright here?_ Blake asked, her ears burning red. She was staring at the floor so intensely, Yang was worried she will bore a hole straight through it.

_-Yes mom, I know how to use a bathroom. I’m fine Blake really._

_-Okay, how about we try to get you a shower after you’re done? Not to be rude but you smell like bunch of sumo wrestlers locked in a brewery for like a week._ Blake said wrinkling her nose a bit.

 _-Wow okay… Way to ruin girl’s self esteem. I see you are as subtle as I look. But don’t worry message received. I will take a shower after I’m done, so can you like please leave? I really have to go!_ Flashing Blake a playful pout, Yang turned around at the sound of Blake leaving and door closing after her.

As Yang was finishing washing her hand, she heard a knock on the door and Blake’s muffled voice.

_-Yang? Are you done? I brought some towels, and a stool you can use for the shower, and some change of clothes since I don’t know if you have any._

_\- Yeah, you can come in and drop in the stuff._ Blonde said looking at the sink. She didn’t dare looking at the mirror. She already had a hard time watching her reflection, hating herself looking so weak with bags under her eyes, her hair a mess and her irises empty, her once usual spark gone consumed by flames of war that left only ashes and pain in its wake.  She hated her eyes the most. Ever since getting back home her usual delicate and shiny lilac color was replaced with deep scarlet color.  Her eyes used to change colors when she was furious or very emotional, a trait she inherited from her birth mother, but they always went back to lavender. But now they were seemingly permanently the color of blood she spilt while being a soldier. It did not matter if she felt angry, sad, depressed or empty. All it ever was, was a sea of crimson. She hated it. Hated the fact that she allowed it to happen. Hated that she had no idea how to stop. Hated that the war that was over, took even her eyes from her.

Noise behind her, pulled her away from her wallowing in self hatred, she took a handful of water from the sink spraying it on her face and turned to face her new challenge. Taking a shower. In all honesty she totally forgot how she could barely stand, taking shallow breaths not to cause herself even more pain. And now looking at Blake setting the stool inside the shower cabin (it was rather large, so taking a shower while sitting would not be a problem), and let out her breath with a slight hiss.  Yang thought for a second that Blake’s bow twitched at the sound, but the thought left her mind as soon as it entered it.

 _-Umm… Do you need help getting undressed?_ Blake asked with her head down, her voice dropping with each word, her embarrassment at her own question made even clearer by the tips of her ears setting into a very vibrant shade of crimson. She could not look up to glance at Yang.

Yang’s mouth curled up into a smirk.

 _-Sure, wanna hop in with me?_ The moment she said those words she wanted to punch herself in the face. _Way to fucking go Xiao-Long, sexually harassing this poor girl that is doing everything to help you._

 _\- I’m so sorry, it just came out. I didn’t mean it. Just don’t be mad ok? I’m really, REALLY sorry._ Yang said pleadingly

Blake promptly turned around without even looking at her and said

 _-Well clearly you can make do, if you have the strength to crack stupid jokes like that._ She opened the door and spoke over her shoulder.

 _-Yell if you need any help, you can use my body wash and shampoo._ After that all Yang’s heard was a click of the door.

It turns out a menial task of taking a shower is an unprecedented logical and physical endeavor when you are used as a punching bag by some douche bags. But Yang managed, it took her an inordinate amount of time felling like at least couple of hours (In reality it was an hour with some change). With slow and methodical moves and using the provided stool which, by the time she was finished, was her bestest friend in a whole wide world, she managed to undress herself, move the stool to the cabin and take a nice hot shower. Warm water stung, just the small force that it ran with, but also the temperature of it, but it was nice. It relieved some tension, and Yang wasn’t going to lie, it was great to feel clean again.

 While she was wandering around she didn’t really have many occasions to bathe. Streams, toilets in shopping malls and rain were her main source of hygiene which wasn’t as impressive as she should have cared for. But she didn’t. With every day of her endless voyage she cared less and less about what happened to her. What was the point? She took some odd jobs, wherever she could find them, and it wasn’t a lot. Turns out not many people cloud use a weak one armed girl. Whenever she couldn’t find any source of income (which was most of the time), she would resort to dumpster diving, and lately stealing to get by. She knew she was close to the edge. Just few steps from just completely giving up, and letting herself slowly wilt away in some hole where nobody would find her.

Thoughts of her family, so frequent in first few months, were now gone. Not being able to think about how much they had to hate her for everything she ruined. She shoved them down in a hole so deep and dark inside her mind that they never came to the surface. Yang was close to the edge, the beating and her feeling like deadweight dragging some innocent bystander down with her was weighing heavily on her, but the shower felt nice. Even if it only lasted for so long. God she wanted a drink. She put on the clothes that Blake got her, which consisted of loose black t-shirt with some weird cog design and short grey sweatpants.  Feeling a bit more energized she stepped out of the bathroom. Cool air of the corridor outside felt so amazing on her warm body, soothing her aches even by just the tiniest amount, so she stood there for a while her back leaning on the wall and eyes closed. Only the slight rustle of fabric pulled out Yang from her basking in the cold air. She turned to Blake who was standing at the edge of the living room eyeing her curiously.

_-Is everything ok Yang?_

_-Yeah it felt nice to shower. Thanks for letting me._ Blonde said giving her a weak smile.

Blake on the other hand beamed a wide smile at her and asked if she wanted to eat something.

Yang knew she had to eat something, even if just thinking about food made her nauseous, so she slowly made her way, with Blake’s help, to the table and lowered herself to the last available chair.

 _And then there was silence._ She thought to herself, smirking internally, as she returned the short haired brunette curious eyeing of herself.

 _-Damn girl, you look like… well like four dudes tried to play whack-a-mole with your face being the “mole”._ Sharp voice rang through the silence, coming from now smirking girl at the opposite side of the table. Followed by a swift slap to the shoulder from the rabbit faunus on her right.

 _Coco!_ She squealed. _Oh my god, are you ok? I was sure they were going to kill you, I’m so sorry that you had to get involved ijustcloudntdoanythignimsososorry…_ With her words getting all jumbled, the rabbit girl hid her face in her palms and started sobbing quietly. Yang’s one good eye went as wide as a saucer at the unexpected emotional breakdown of the stranger and was figuring out what to say, but the short haired brunette and Blake were faster, Blake circling the table and crouching down near the girl, rubbing slow circles with her palm on her back, and the sun glasses girl patting herm arm gently.

 _-Shhh, it’s fine Velvet. It’s all good. Yang here is all fine and dandy, give her a few days and she will maybe even start looking halfway like a human being._ Said the bob cut woman, earning a small “Hey” from the blonde.

 _-Yeah I’m totally fine Velvet, see?_ Yang said, and after making sure Velvet glanced at while she tried to flex her arm only to wince in pain hugging her ribs with her left and jerking her stump to try and cover her left arm. _Okay well I may not be like totally fine, but like your friend said give me few days and I will be as good as new!_  She said with a smile, which seemingly forgot how to reach her eyes, after the pain subsided.

 _-I’m Coco by the way, nice to see you up and prancing around already. When we got to you girls at the park you kind of looked like minced meat hon._ Said the brown haired girl while eyeing Yang from across the table.

 _-Yeah sorry for all the trouble, it was kinda supposed to be a heroic rescue and all…yeah sorry once more._  The blonde said not looking up from her empty plate.

- _Oh its finee, you just need to work on the heroic part and…well the rescue part could also use a tune up, otherwise you get gold medal… for participating._ Coco nonchalantly said while flashing a blindingly white grin.

Velvet used her ears to cover her eyes and Blake face palmed muttering quiet _“Coco_ ” under her breath _._ Yang on the other hand was so baffled by the brunette that all that was left for her was to undignifyingly snort with laughter. It was a first genuine laugh that bubbled from Yang in a long while, and she almost thought that she liked Coco. Her smirk faltered into a faint smile as she looked around a table. Blake murmured a muffled apology to her, dropped a piece of toast on her plate and said that she should eat something.

Yang swallowed heavily, and looked at the plate trying to keep her nausea at bay. She knew she had to at least try eating something, force herself if she must. She settled on something simple, toast with jam and started nibbling on it, Blake giving her a kind smile in return. For a bit Yang quietly focused on her toast, tuning out a conversation Blake and Coco were having (something about Coco being offended by the way Blake dressed for their breakfast), but after few bites she only felt worse. Putting away her toast she thanked for the food and said she should go lay down some more cause she was feeling tired after the shower. Blake promptly shuffled trying to stand up to help her to her room but she was interrupted by a hand on her shoulder.

 _-Sit down and eat some more Kittens, I’ll help tuck away Blondie here._ Coco said quickly getting up, ignoring a cold glare from Blake and circling the table to help Yang up, earning a muffled “ _thanks”_ in response.

Both of them made their way to the spare room rather quickly and while Yang was settling down on the bed Coco closed the door and kept her eyes on Yang.

 _-I’m fine, you can go. Thanks for help._ Another empty smile.

After few minutes, Coco didn’t move and Yang looked up at her starting to say something.

 _-Cut the crap goldilocks._ Stern tone in her voice matched Coco’s piercing gaze, her glasses no longer on her face were in her hand. Yang immediately shut her mouth her eye narrowing. This no-bullshit tone she knew well from her army days. Coco meant business and Yang already knew what’s coming. It’s a wonder they took her in, complete stranger. A homeless drunk, potentially dangerous. Blake was sweet, but Coco took no prisoners.

_\- I know your type Blondie._

_And here it comes,_ Yang thought with a grimace.

 _-You were thinking of staying here for few days and then bolting, being oh so noble not to be a burden to anyone._ Coco continued in her low voice _. Okay, not what I was expecting_ thought Yang.

_-And don’t even try to object, because I do know Yang. While I cannot and will not stop you from running away I do have a proposition for you._

Yang’s look changed from a glare to one of surprise. _This isn’t how it goes._ She expected threats, she expected Coco to tell her to get out of Blake’s way as soon as possible, or to get help and force her to call her family. But not this. Whatever it was, Yang had no idea where Coco was going with this talk.

 _-This is my offer: You will stay here like a good little girl until you heal up, because you owe Blake at least that, and DO NOT even start with all the protests, I don’t care._ Coco said noticing Yang’s opening mouth and her face turning into a frown.

- _You will stay and heal, which I would say will take around a month? Give or take a week. And then you will work off your debt to Blake. I do have some odd jobs that need to be done, and I’m sure you can pull them off. You will work for me for a month, and you can pay Blake back for being a very blonde freeloader. After one month, you are free to do whatever, and go wherever you want. And just to clarify, you already owe Blake a sizable debt, and running away will not in any way ease her burden and will only serve to stress and worry her. She needs to help you, and you should let her, and so you don’t feel bad about just being taken care of, I’m giving you a way to pay her back for everything she did and will do for you._

Yang stared at her blankly, her mind going haywire while trying to figure out how to respond to this absolutely ridiculous proposition. It took her few minutes to gather her thoughts until she spoke.

 _-Lemme get this straight. You want me to stay here, rest up and do nothing until I heal up, and then you are going to give me a job._ Yang said, her tone clearly indicating what she thought of Coco’s mental state.

_-Yep, glad to see they didn’t kick your brain out of you._

The Blonde looked at her not entirely sure whether to feel amusement or confusion or what exactly.

 _-Do your sunglasses cut off the blood flow to your brain or something? How is this deal in any way shape or form beneficial for you?_ Yang asked, distrust clear in her voice.

 _-It’s a fair deal Yang, I do have my reasons for all of this, and I will tell you if you decide to stay long enough. My offer stands, and if you do decide to take it just tell me. I will be here often enough, don’t worry. We are good people Blondie and we can recognize good people. Ask Velvet next time you see her around. She will tell you._ Coco’s voice soft and honest, she turned around opening the door.

_\- Sleep well goldilocks, and think about my offer. Ciao!_

Door shutting behind brunette left the beaten woman in silence with her thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late post. But damn writting is hard... Hope you enjoyed the chapter! As always, comments and critiques are most welcome!


	3. Of Bruises and little things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update. Our big project at work is finally done, and this chapter kicked my ass. Writing flasbacks is so hard ;/  
> This chapter is shorter than I orignally planned because well I actually never planned this chapter. But the partial flashback seemed fitting for some more world (Yangst) building.
> 
> I would like to thank my little Bat friend for helping me with handling the flashback and some of the story structure (and for being my no. 1 cheerleader :D)
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy this one, have a nice read!

Yang lay in the bed eyes wide open. Night was warm, and moonlight flooded the room through the open window. Her eyes looking towards the ceiling, but not really seeing anything. She was really tired, but she didn’t dare to close her eyes. It was relatively fine at the beginning, the nights were calm, aside from waking up every once in a while due to her rather uneasy sleep habits. She would wake up from the jolt of pain, from her ribs or bruises, and then fall asleep right again.  But after a few days, they came back. The nightmares. When the war officially ended Yang was still in the hospital. Her recovery post-amputation wasn’t going very well. She refused to eat or to exercise. She spoke to no one. Her parent’s tried. They tried so hard. Talked to her, brought her favorite food. Summer even tried to read her some stories, just like she did when Yang and Ruby were kids. Nothing seem to help.

Ruby took it almost as hard as Yang. Curling up on her hospital bed and just laying there watching Yang, sobbing and crying from time to time. Ruby would hug her and hold for dear life whenever she heard her big sister cry. It was automatic. Reminder of the days where nothing made sense, when they were alone having no one else to turn to. It all started with Raven (because what doesn’t).  
She came back. When Yang was 6 years old, Raven came barging in into their life. She was Summer’s best friend and Yang’s mother. She and Taiyang had a fling, and then there was Yang. Shortly after Raven ran away. She left a short message saying she was sorry but she wasn’t ready. Summer had to pick up the pieces. She always harbored feeling’s for Tai but she was too shy to act on them, and she knew he had a thing for Raven. But that didn’t stop her to step in to help her friend.  And slowly but surely they fell in love. Summer always suspected Tai still harbored feeling’s for Raven but when Ruby came along Summer became too busy to think about anything else than her family. Taiyang was a teacher at signal and it was enough to provide their little family with everything they needed in their little home on the island of Patch. Summer was living the dream which was soon shattered by a harsh banging on their door, in the middle of a stormy night. When Tai opened it Summer was just going down from calming Ruby and Yang and helping them get to sleep through the storm. She saw Tai expression change from curiosity to pure shock as he stared at whoever braved the storm to barge into their home this late at night.

“You going to let me in or lemme drown in this apocalypse?” Summer froze on the stairs hearing a voice once so familiar to her. The voice of her best friend.

Raven pushed herself past Tai dropping puddles of water almost like she actually swam all the way to their house.  She shook her massive mane of jet black hair spraying water everywhere, her gaze holding still when she noticed Summer on the stairs.

“Hey…Summer” Raven said with a sheepish smile.

It all went downhill from there. Yang only heard the story through sobs when Summer told it. At first Summer was ecstatic. She had her best friend back, and Yang would have her real mom back. But Taiyang was getting increasingly jittery. It wasn’t long before he started shouting at both Raven and Summer when she tried to calm him down.

“I should have seen it earlier, it was right there. But I was blinded by having my daughters and my best friend back. I never questioned her and I never talked with Tai” Summer would say later on. “I saw it all fall apart and I never did anything to stop it…”

Yang couldn’t remember the year Raven stayed with them that good. She remembered her suddenly being there, and after a while her family telling her it was her real mom. She was 6 she didn’t really know how to react. There was crying and yelling but after a while she  slowly started getting used to the abstract idea of Raven being her real mom. And then she was gone. One morning after months of bonding with Yang, Raven was gone, just like she appeared. No note, no message, no nothing this time. She left her phone her backpack, she only took her wallet with her, and ran away. Again.  

Summer was in denial and Tai was furious. Yang just kept asking “where is mommy?”.

It only got worse from there, Tai and Summer argued almost every day, and Tai started to drink heavily. He already started sneaking in drinks ever since Raven showed up, but when she left he fell deeper into the bottle with every day. They argued about everything, Raven, Tai’s drinking, Yang, Ruby, everything. They didn’t talk anymore, just argued.

 The event that signaled the beginning of the end was Tai being suspended from his work, because he showed up at school still drunk from a night of heavy drinking. He lied to Summer about it, but the principal being a sort of family friend called her and told her everything. The argument that followed the call span several hours and was probably heard by rather large part of Patch. Ruby was freaking out not knowing what was happening so Yang ran downstairs and started yelling at her parents, tears rolling down her cheeks. She wanted them to stop yelling, to stop scaring her and Ruby, she was freaked out as well but all she thought about was that she had to do something to calm down her baby sister.

  
And then it happened. Tai was yelling, Summer was crying and Yang just wanted them to stop so she started screaming. She remembered well the face that towered over her when she opened her eyes. Taiyang’s blue eyes, usually so gentle and loving, were drilling into her full of rage, his hand suspended up ready to fall down on her. She was so terrified. Yang stumbled back, falling to the floor. Tears welled in her eyes as she tried to cover herself with her hands.

“TAI!” Summer’s voice, so soothing and calm, thundered through the room. She was at the floor sheltering her terrified daughter in her arms, look of utter disbelief and betrayal on her face. “GET OUT, GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE AND DO NOT EVEN THINK OF COMING BACK UNTILL YOU SORT YOUSERLF OUT!” Her voice breaking with tears.

Taiyang was looking between his risen arm and his wife and child on the floor. “Sum-mer, p-lease. I’m sorry, god, Yang I am so sorry, oh god” He slurred.

“No Tai. Just go, please, please just go.” Summer response was muffled by sobs and whimpers that escaped her mouth, she was trying so hard not to fully brake down. Yang clutched to her for dear life. It was all a haze after this. Tai was gone, Summer spent next few days basically glued to Yang and Ruby. While she didn’t remember those early days after her father left. She remembered the months that followed as full of nightmares, tears and loneliness.  And one lingering thought that would haunt her for the rest of her life.

_It’s all my fault._

Yang blinked away the tears that started pooling in her eyes. She forced herself to stop thinking about the past. She knew exactly where that stairway would lead. So she did what she did best, forced everything down desperately trying to find something to distract her thoughts. Anything but family. She needed something fresh and there was only one thing that came to her mind.

_Blake_.

Her thoughts surprisingly easily focused on her dark haired host. At first Blake seemed like a perfectly normal kind hearted girl, but Yang noticed things. During the first few days Yang was distracted by the ever present pain and discomfort. But now after over a week, she got used to it enough to start observing Blake more carefully. It’s always the little things that give away the most. Like when Blake asked Yang on the fourth day “Hey Yang?”

“Yeah? What’s up Blake?” Yang asked from her bowl of soup. It turned out that Yang was actually able to eat soup, unlike anything solid so far.

“So I have this ointment, it works wonder with bruises. It’s a mix of herbs that speeds up the healing process. You can use it if you would like.” Blake explained, holding a crudely made box of cream.

“Sure?” Yang asked not sure at all. “You will have to help me put some of it over my arm, since you know” she wiggled her stump.

“If you don’t mind, then of course, I will be glad to help” Blake responded with a smile.

Whatever reservations Yang had about Blake’s magic cream were erased the very next day. Not only Blake was apparently pro at putting the cream on her bruises, her touch delicate and soothing, the herbal mix itself became Yang’s salvation.  It was truly incredible. It wasn’t as if her bruises faded overnight, but the cream brought her desperately needed relief.  And it didn’t end at that. Blake advised Yang on how to deal with her injuries and it did make Yang’s life significantly easier over the days. Thanks to Blake her recovery was going as well as she cloud have hoped for.  That was the first thing.

Blake tried to be casual about all of it, seemingly making nothing of it, or vaguely suggesting her knowledge coming from books and magazines. But Yang understood. Her knowledge was practical, tested. It cloud only come from experience. The blonde had no idea whether it was Blake herself, or someone she knew, but she knew that Blake skill in taking care of her wounds came from practice… A lot of it.

The other thing was her clothes. It was a hot summer. Like really hot, but Blake never wore short sleeves. Her shirts and blouses all had long sleeves and never shown any cleavage. Her pants were usually full length or knee height. Blake seemed to be a very private person and she didn’t enjoy prolonged looks directed towards her. When she noticed of course, she would squirm and shift her weight from one foot to another, not looking Yang in the eye.

The last thing, and the most recent that Yang started noticing was Blake weird reaction to being touched. It wasn’t pronounced enough to be called a flinch, and it was hard to notice when she wore looser clothing. It was like her body was tensing up just before Yang put her hand on Blake’s arm, and then slowly relax after few seconds. It happened every time.

All of that painted a pretty nasty picture, of course Yang cloud not be sure, and she was definitely not going to pry or push Blake to tell her anything but just knowing that something (or rather someone) was responsible for making Blake like this made Yang’s stomach twist into a nasty knot. This girl has already done so much for Yang, and she cloud only lie there and burden her further.  Yang desperately wanted to pay Blake back, but she had no way of doing so. She was still barely able to walk by herself, weak and hurting. She still wanted to leave but she also cloud not stop thinking about Coco’s offer. It would be so nice to just lay down and relax and then work her ass off to pay her debt to both girls.

_Coco_

That was another enigma. She only saw her twice after the breakfast encounter. She dropped by two days after their meeting, dropping off some clothes for Yang. They didn’t really talk much then since Coco had to run after few minutes. But Yang was dragged to dinner with Blake, Coco and Velvet the day before. It was rowdy, Coco spared no excuses teasing all of them, Velvet was being Velvet, mumbling and hiding behind her ears when Coco embarrassed her too much. Blake seemed to be completely immune to Coco and judging by her smile she actually enjoyed her company. Yang had no idea what to think. The brunette seemed like a heart of the party, someone without a care in the world. But the way she spoke to Yang when they first met, the seriousness and her tone were anything but carefree. Yang was unnerved by it.

She didn’t like how Coco figured her out so quickly.  But for now she couldn’t do anything about it. And she definitely didn’t have it in her to talk with Coco now. All she cloud do is go day by day until she came to a decision, or a decision was made for her. She knew that if she stayed couple more days she would end up accepting the deal, but she was hesitant. Convincing herself that  she wasn’t worth the effort. She knew it’s not going to end well for Blake or Coco or herself, but god, did she want to for once not to worry about where she would sleep and what she would eat. There was also the job. Maybe that would finally make her feel less useless.

Yang lay on her bed with her forearm over her eyes. She was scared and confused. She was exhausted and really didn’t want to run and fight everyday anymore. She fought with herself every step of the way, but she decided.

She is going to accept Coco’s offer.  



	4. Secrets and what goes unsaid

Blake lay awake in her bed, eyes closed and cat ears gently twitching listening to rustles coming from the apartment. Three weeks. It was already three weeks since she took Yang in and what those 3 weeks were. She was so excited at the prospect when they first found her, she spent first few days whining and using every possible argument she cloud find to convince Coco to let her take care of Yang. She needed this. She needed to help someone, and god Yang looked like she needed help. Blake was full of hope, she was happy. Of course not because Yang was hurt but because she finally had a chance to give somebody what she herself received when Coco took her in all those years ago. She knew it wouldn’t be easy, not only was Yang injured physically but she was withdrawn and Blake could tell there were scars far beyond the physical ones.

Scars. Yang had those. After first few days Yang was seemingly getting better it looked like all is going to be well and Yang is going to recover quickly, but of course it didn’t. Near the end of the first week Yang got worse, bad enough for Blake to have to help her shower. It was then that Blake saw them. Well felt them was more accurate since they were hard to see from under all the bruising. Long thin gashes across Yang’s back. She tried not to trace them too much and she didn’t say a word. Neither did Yang. Whether it was from her semi dazed state or she just didn’t want to say anything Blake understood enough not to pry. Other than her back Blake noticed some scars on her legs and arm but they seemed like your run of the mill scars. There was also the elephant in the room. Yang’s missing arm.

The only time she flinched was when Blake unwrapped her stump from run down bandages it was hastily wrapped in. The sight of it shocked the brunette, not because it not being there freaked her out but because, instead of a wide scar the stump ended with a circular alloy base covering its end. Blake looked at it with awe while her fingers traveled from Yang’s arm towards it. It wasn’t really a jerk even, Yang just seemed to move it further away from the touch so Blake withdrew her hand. She knew better than most how important respecting boundaries was.

Through all of it Yang never said a word. She just sat there, shoulders slumped. This was probably what made Blake’s heart ache the most. Yang looked so… defeated, like she gave up on even trying to care about anything anymore. Her eyes lacked the spark, and Blake cloud only imagine the intensity those lakes of crimson could bring before whatever happened to Yang happened.  It was different from her own experiences, from her trauma. She lived in fear for years, Yang was drowning in apathy.

Blake was usually calm and quiet, she preferred to observe people and note things for herself rather than speak up. She usually wasn’t curious about things and people. She let things reveal themselves at their own pace. But this was different. She had to know. She needed it. Her enthusiasm was gone, replaced by quiet determination faced with how hard actually helping Yang might be, which she failed to realize before.

 She hated seeing the Blonde like this, because she cloud easily imagined who Yang cloud be again. She could see the golden mane of hair glowing stronger than sun itself, eyes deep and dangerous, her presence taking up any space she would occupy. The image sent shivers down her spine. She had to stop herself from following down that road. It wasn’t the time for things like that. Healing first, anything else second. So she didn’t even try to find out where exactly all of this came from. For now.

With another shuffle coming from the room down the hall, she opened her eyes and looked at the clock on her nightstand. Quarter till six. She first thought that Yang’s troubles with sleep were result of her injuries. But the more time passed the more she was sure it was something else. Her cat ears allowed her to hear delicate shuffling of the covers, Yang was quiet, rather absurdly quiet so but Blake’s hearing was above excellent thanks to her faunus heritage, not to mention her being kind of hyper aware of everything, having a stranger in her house. So she heard the shuffling of covers, the sighs, whispers, and whimpers. Yang nightmares seemed to be very different from her panic inducing vivid fear rollercoaster’s she used to experience.

Yang’s seemed to bring her sorrow and sadness, she pleaded and begged someone for something, apologies and tearful whimpers were like pin pricks to Blake’s heart. Her eyes getting watery every time she heard it. She wanted to go there to console her but she couldn’t bring herself to invade Yang’s privacy like that. Those were the times she wished she were more like Coco, being able to barge into her room and unceremonialy shake her out of whatever nightmare or panic attack she seemed to have at the moment. But she wasn’t , she felt guilty for not being able to go to Yang and help her through. But she couldn’t. Not yet. It was still too early. Blake needed time to adjust and to gather her courage, and she knew Yang will be less than forthcoming about anything that bothers her. Blake had to wait, and she hated every minute of it. Coco never mentioned anything about this being so hard.

But for all the bad things there were some good ones. Yang got better. She started eating a bit more and she moved around more easily. The magic ointment did it’s trick as well, the bruising was healing, even though it didn’t exactly look better for a bit, the swelling was coming down and she cloud finally see from both of her eyes. Yang’s improvement brought another revelation. She was very careful about a routine she set for herself. Getting up 6 am sharp, watching some tv before Blake got up at around seven, Yang would make her a cup of tea and help her make breakfast for both of them. Blake noticed how quickly Yang picked up on her likes and dislikes, she knew which tea Blake liked to drink in the morning. What Blake ate on her toast.

It seemingly took Yang two weeks to figure out Blake’s routines and insert herself into them.  It was a bit unnerving, Blake was a creature of habit, it helped her a lot being able to organize her day as she saw fit, what was new was that Coco never cared about anyone’s routines or anything really, she did what she wanted when she wanted but Yang was different, she seemingly thoughtlessly made her own routine fit Blake’s. But what really made her feel weird was Yang’s habit of looking straight into her eyes. Whenever Blake looked at the blonde she caught her two ruby like eyes drilling into her own amber ones. It made her giddy. She noticed that Yang did it with everyone. Well everyone meant Coco and Velvet and herself in this case, and to be honest seeing Coco without her sunglasses was borderline once in a lifetime event. Yang seemed to focus on eyes of anyone she talked with. When Blake brought it up in conversation the other day Yang told her she had a “thing for eyes”, and said she will try not to stare at Blake’s if it bothers her. Yang was also seemingly going on “mute mode” by default, another thing that irked Blake, but not because she enjoyed talking and noise. It just didn’t feel right in her mind, Yang not talking a lot.

Both of them seemed content to hide their demons and secrets  for the moment. While Blake spend a better part of the last 7 years getting rid of hers, there were still some hiding around. Yang’s were too fresh, and with this new arrangement she would need time before opening up, if she ever decided to do it.

For now, they seemed to silently exist together and the careful equilibrium they built in those few weeks accommodated both of them well.

But Blake knew it couldn’t last forever.

 

 

Coco lay at her couch with legs dangling from one side of it, laptop on her stomach and head propped on some pillows. She started at her ceiling trying to put together all the things that made no sense together into one clear picture: Yang Branwen.

She looked back at the screen trying to place the newest piece of the blond puzzle she just found out. It was only few hours ago and by complete chance that she came by it.

She was visiting Blake for some late lunch at her apartment (well technically it was Coco’s but Blake was renting it currently), but Blake wasn’t there. She apparently had to go meet up some people from work or something, at least that’s what Yang told her when she dropped by.

Yang looked better, her movements no longer as stiff, bruises yellowish, a week more and they would probably fade away. She was polite and smiling, offered a tea while Coco made herself some scrambled eggs. But she could see straight through the Blonde. Her eyes were a dead giveaway, bruises may have been fading  but all the other wounds were still there, now that her physical condition improved they were much more pronounced. Coco was already forming a plan how to best weasel out some secrets out of her, when the pan holding her amazingly smelling eggs fell apart and hit the floor, sending the meal all over kitchen floor.

Yang barked a laugh when she noticed a dead expression on Coco’s face. And started picking up pieces of the pan. With sigh and holding back the tears, Coco put the handle back on the counter and went to get the broom to help clean the mess. It was her first meal since a measly apple for breakfast and she was sure she is going to die from starvation even before Blake comes back and rips her head for destroying her pan. Blake was not good with change. Even the smallest things like buying any new equipment were a few weeks long battle between them, with Coco finally losing it and buying the stuff not giving Blake a chance to say anything more.

“Hey do you know if Blake has any tools? Like Philips screwdriver or something?” Yang asked her as she was finishing cleaning the floor.

“Nope, I’m pretty sure Blake only has a hammer to put some nails in for the picture frames and paintings she buys, why?” Coco sighed.

“Um, the pan seems fine, it broke apart cause of a loose screw.” Yang answered before turning to Coco and saying “Could you go to my room and grab a black box, book sized and made from plastic, from my duffle bag?”

“Sure, I’ll be right back” She tossed over her shoulder, bolting quickly to the guest room.

It was perfect, the opportunity to freely snoop around Yang’s bag would surely shed some light over mysterious blonde. She found the bag on the floor near the right side of the bed. Opening it up really quickly Coco started going through some of the stuff. Khaki jacket obviously military, baggy pants, a notebook with a single sketch of two crossed axes inside a cog of some sort (It looked vaguely familiar, but Coco couldn’t place it), military issue knife, which would be something Coco would normally inspect a bit more properly if not for her eyes catching a glance of what seemed to be the box she was looking for. She tried grabbing but it turned out much bigger than what Yang described. It was seemingly made from a very high quality plastic like material. Very solid, and pretty heavy. Three silver clasps adorned its side keeping it closed, the box was pure black adorned only by a green logo of a sword made from two blades in the middle of it. Coco stared at the box for a while, fighting a mental battle with herself not to open it, until she heard Yang call her name from the kitchen. Snapping out of it, she found the smaller box tucked in on the far side of the duffle bag, put everything else back in order and ran back to the kitchen.

The smaller box contained, as it turned out, a number of tools, ranging from screwdrivers, pliers, tweezers and some more different ones that the Brunette never seen before. With Coco’s help Yang managed to fix the pan, to the shorter girl delight, and after couple more minutes Coco was done filling her stomach with eggs. Sighing with content she took out her scroll and texted Blake, telling her to buy some eggs since she just ran out. It was getting late and she had to get back home, work she told Yang, but in reality she had to do some research about the incredibly mysterious box. After saying goodbye she rushed home and started digging.

Looking back at the screen Coco groaned in frustration. She began her search by trying to find out any information on ‘Yang Branwen’ but nothing popped up. She switched to trying to find anything about the mystery box. That route didn’t take her very long to finally find something.

 _Polendina Cybernetics_ , they dealt with advanced cybernetic prosthetics. After reading up on their inventions and checking out some of the finished products, adding to that what Blake has told her about Yang’s missing arm and its weird attachment, it wasn’t hard to figure out just exactly what was in the box. The question was how in the world did Yang got her hands on one of the Polendina prosthetics. They were top of the line, most advanced prosthetics made from the highest quality materials. Coco was wealthy herself, but even for her the hefty sum the prosthetics cost was a lot. The other question was, if it truly was the prosthetic, why was Yang not using it? Maybe she only had the box? But it didn’t seem empty. Was it broken? Maybe she didn’t have money to fix it? Did she steal it, and did not know how to use it?

The cacophony of questions made Coco groan loudly. She covered her eyes and tried to calm her racing mind.

“You know you are really cute when you make those ‘dying bear’ sounds” An amused voice brought her out of her thinking stupor.

“Shut it Rusty, or I’m gonna spin you around and laugh my ass of watching you try to find your way around the house” She responded, but there was no venom in her answer and you could practically hear the smirk in her voice.

A short burst of laugh made her smirk turn into a full smile.

“Everything all right?” A tall red haired and dark skinned man asked, carefully making his way to the couch.

Coco quickly rearranged herself on the couch to make space for the man.

“Just not enough information” She said with a frown as the man dropped down on the couch right beside her. Coco immediately put her head on his shoulder and was wrapped by his arm in response. She sighed contentedly.

“You do hate not knowing stuff. But this seems a bit more than usual, I could hear your frown all the way from the kitchen. Wanna talk about it?” The red head said while slowly rubbing Coco’s shoulder with his fingers.

“It’s the new stray, the girl that Blake took in? I couldn’t find anything on her online, and she may be hiding a super advanced prosthetic that she doesn’t use. It’s obvious she has gone through hell, you can see it in her eyes. She just so… done with everything, and it frustrates me to no end because I feel that she should be giving me the run for my money and instead she just sits there like the world’s most blonde punching bag. It feels like seven years ago all over again but without all the fear, Fox. Now it’s just a sea of resignation.” Coco said setting the laptop down on the table sitting in front of the couch, and readjusting herself to lie down on her boyfriend’s lap. He started to gently pat her head and made a humming sound thinking about his answer.

“You think it’s going to be as hard as it was with Blake? I know I wasn’t there when you two met, but from what you said it seemed like something you would never want to repeat.” Fox said absentmindedly playing with Coco’s hair.

“I don’t know, with Blake it wasn’t just about helping her. We, she, actually had to fight with her past at some point. Those were probably some of the scariest few days of my life Fox. If not for Pyrrha, I don’t even want to know what would have happened back then. But there is more of us, now I’m smarter and Blake is fine. Now I have you, we have Pyrrha and Jaune, Velvet and Yatsu when he comes back from Menagerie. I think we can help her. I know Blake can. But I’m afraid she won’t let us.” Coco’s voice got quiet, it was really something else not hearing the quips and sass when she spoke. It took him quiet a long time to discover this side of her and even longer to get used to it.

“She agreed to stay and at least heal up so that’s something, but it feels like she’s on the verge of running. Like one day Blake goes shopping and she will be gone and we will never hear from her again. Or worse we will read about her in the paper’s obituary” Coco said, and they both fell silent.

“I think she is a veteran. She has this duffle bag, and all the stuff in it screams military. From what Blake said she seems to like routine, god knows how much it helped Blake. She is better physically. Maybe once she starts working for me it will help her enough to open up a bit.” Coco said, but her tone was unsure.

“If she is a vet it’s going to be an uphill battle. You know how it was with me. But you helped me. Shown me the light, even though my eyes can only see darkness now. I’m sure you and Blake can do that same for her. I will help as much as I can, we all will.” He lowered his head as much as he cloud and waited until she rose up and met her lips with his. It wasn’t a passionate kiss, but one that gave her all the reassurance she needed.

She and Blake are going to help Yang. But first she had some digging to do. With newly found confidence she risen from her boyfriend’s lap and reached for her scroll. She had to make few calls.


	5. Nightmares in the sunset

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just when I thought I got ahead with writting this chapter, the next one is kicking my ass and I lost all the time I saved up while writting this one ;/.
> 
> Enjoy!

Yang was getting anxious. She paced around the apartment waiting for Blake to come back from her outing with Velvet. She was not used to staying around, and while Blake’s apartment was certainly comfortable, she was starting to feel trapped. Of course she knew she could go out at any point. With most of her injuries healed she was sure she could handle at least a stroll around the neighborhood or something.  At first she was glad nobody wanted her to go anywhere. She was content just staying in her room and eventually rest of the apartment. It was safe, and quiet. Blake was easy to live with. She didn’t have a problem with staying quiet, reading a book or working for a bit, while Yang sat around and watched TV or simply observed her. It was perfect honestly. Yang couldn’t have imagined it better herself.

And yet the healthier she got the more it felt like she was a prisoner, rather of her own mind than the apartment itself. The better she felt, the less she could focus on the pain and her mind was wandering. And unfortunately it did not wander to the good places. Yang hated it, she tried so hard to bottle everything up but the tranquility of the last few weeks caught up with her.  She had to get out of the house, she had to distract herself with something. God she needed a drink. If Blake had one fault it was her one stupid rule. Under no circumstance was there to be any alcohol inside her apartment. It was one rule she told Yang after the first week, when she asked for a drink. She had to get out of the house, but she was too anxious to do that alone. She wasn’t sure what she was afraid of but the thought of going outside alone spiked her anxiety to levels she was not familiar with. Yang was always confident, and ever since she was out in the streets she simply didn’t care. It was a new feeling for her and she didn’t like it. So she paced waiting and trying not to let her new found anxiety overcome her.

Blake liked to think of herself as hard to surprise, she thought things through and rarely acted impulsively. She deemed herself capable of predicting outcomes of most situations she was faced with. What she was not ready for was coming face to face with seemingly very nervous Yang.

“I wanna go outside, let’s go for a walk” The Blonde spewed quickly.

“O..Ok?” Blake answered. She was very surprised, by her sudden appearance, and even more so by the request. “Are you sure you are ready? I know you are doing better but it’s ok to take things slow.”

“Please? I really need to get out of here Blake. Please” Yang pleaded. “Look I know you are tired, but can we just take a quick stroll down the street? Five minutes is all I’m asking for.”

“Alright alright, just give me few minutes to grab something to drink and use the toilet and we can go for a walk.” Blake said with a smile. Yang seemed very jittery, stomping from one foot to another.  Blake would have found it cute if not for the look in her eyes. She knew it well, she saw it every time she looked in the mirror all those years ago. Whatever reason Yang had for being so anxious, it actually made Blake think she may finally open up about something. So she hastily used the toilet, and went to the fridge to grab some bottled water.

“All ready, let’s go. We can head down the street and around the block.” Blake explained locking the door behind them.

Blake’s apartment was located in a rather nicer neighborhood near the outskirts of the town. Four story buildings dominated the street, walkways were busy but clean. It did seem like a nice place to live in. But Yang didn’t register any of it. Her anxiety was gone, but in its place blossomed nervousness. Before in the apartment she felt like she had to get out, but once on the street she felt like it was a mistake. Head down and shoulders tense she followed slightly behind Blake trying not to get overwhelmed by the busy city life. There were a lot of people, not very surprising given the early evening hour. After almost a month cooped up in the quiet apartment with just Blake (and occasionally Coco and Velvet) it was a rather harsh change of pace. Suddenly Yang wasn’t ready for all of this, she wanted to go back, rubbing her stump with her left arm, feeling like everyone was staring at her missing limb. With each step she slowed down feeling more and more overwhelmed.

Slight tug at the sleeve of her borrowed jacket pulled her out of her growing panic. Yang didn’t notice that she and Blake actually stopped. And Blake was pulling at her sleeve with a quizzical look on her face.

“Hey, are you ok?” Blake asked with understanding smile. She knew very well how hard it was to get out, facing the world and other people. The battle Coco helped her fight to get her out of the house all those years ago was still sharp in her memory. She was excited when Yang said she wanted to go out and to be honest she did not expect the Blonde to be so overwhelmed by their stroll so much.  

Yang looked back at her with a blank stare. She didn’t say anything for a while and averted her gaze to the side, her hand squeezing her right shoulder. When she spoke her voice was quiet and unsure.

“I… Yeah its fine, it’s just you know, been a while since I went outside. It’s noisier than I remember. Can we maybe find someplace quieter to sit down?”

“Sure, actually I know exactly the spot. You are not afraid of heights right?” Blake asked with a gentle smile and when Yang shook her head, she pulled her sleeve and led her across the street to the building on the corner.

“Tuskon book trade?” Yang asked looking at Blake over her shoulder. She only got a mischievous smile in return.

Sound of the bell filled the cramped bookstore once Blake closed the door behind them, she passed Yang going up to the counter and waited for someone to show up while Yang looked around. She could describe this place in one word. The place was cozy. Shelves filled with books created a maze, and she could see two very comfortable looking chairs with a round coffee table in-between them.

“Welcome to Tuskon’s, I’m Tuskon and oh, Kid long time. Ran out of books to read?” A rather burly faunus said with a smile putting his fists to his sides.

“Hey mister Tuskon, I’m actually here to show my friend the scenery, if it’s not too much trouble?” Blake asked giving the man a warm smile.

Yang looked at the man with eyebrows raised a bit while he looked her over, his eyes hovering over her missing limb for just a second before he looked back at her eyes and brought a smile back to his face.

“Any friend of the kid is welcome here, I’m Tuskon and that’s my bookstore. Welcome.” He said gesturing with his hand towards the bookshelves.

“Um I’m Yang, hi” Yang said a bit unsure.

“And how about you stop calling me kid?” Blake said putting on fake pout and crossing her arms on her chest.

“Well brat or runt sounds kinda rude, but fits the same” Tuskon answered with a smirk.  
“The doors are open, you can go up right ahead. Was nice meeting you blonde kid!” He said while going back through the door to the backroom, waving his hand.

“Come on Yang, we are almost there” Said Blake leading Yang towards the door hidden behind one of the wall shelves. Once they got through it they ended up on a stairwell and Blake started heading up.

“So I’m gonna make a wild guess and say you know the guy?” Yang said still not sure where they were heading. _Wherever it is, at least it’s quiet in here._ She was glad to be indoors again, their outing was supposed to help her but it only served to show her how weak and pathetic she was. She barely registered Blake’s story about how the bookstore became her second home not long after she moved here, and how she befriended Tuskon by spending hours inside it, reading or browsing new books.

Busy with the swirl of negative thoughts that threaten to overwhelm her soon she walked into Blake not noticing she stopped. They were at the top of the staircase, Blake’s hand on the handle of metal door. She muttered an apology and Blake pushed the door leading Yang outside.

They were on the roof of the building. It was a wide square open space, there was a fenced off corner that held a mini garden, but otherwise it was open, save for a couple of cheap plastic chairs situated on a wooden platform about knees height and some wooden boxes used probably as a makeshift table. Blake made her way towards the chairs but choose not to sit on them, instead setting her arms on a brick railing.

Yang made her way towards Blake, after looking around a bit. Once she got to the edge, she immediately understood why Blake would like to come here. Even though you cloud still hear the street noise, the place felt very tranquil and the view, while not overly spectacular because of the surrounding buildings, was very pleasant. She could the whole street, right towards the setting sun. And the swarm of people and vehicles that almost overwhelmed her before did not seem as choking as it was before.

“When I moved here I was very nervous. New city, new apartment, new job. I don’t really handle change very well, and this was scary. I barely left the house. Coco tried to make me go out more, but whenever we went somewhere I was so anxious that I couldn’t focus on anything while we were out.” Blake said with a contemplative smile looking into the distance. “All those months of forcing me to go out, we never went this way, you know? But one day I was running short on tea, and the store next to the apartment was closed for whatever reason. So after asking around someone told me there is a teashop near the corner street here so I went and found the bookstore.” Blake fell silent for a minute, twirling her hair around her finger. Yang was now looking at her, peace and quiet helping her focus.

“I started coming here, to buy books first, sometimes I would read one on the chairs in the back and Tuskon would make me tea and talk with me a bit. I think he figured out how nervous I was and made sure that I opened up to him. One day he showed me this place. Told me whenever he wants to just wind down, from a hard day or if he needs to think about something, he would come here and just sit watching the sun set. His wife actually grows some vegetables in the corner garden.” Raven haired girl gestured with her thumb over her shoulder.

“This place became my alcove. My secret quiet spot I could runaway to, to hide or to think. I don’t think Coco ever understood what this rooftop meant for me. I don’t do well with noise and loads of people. I knew if I were to stay here, in this city I had to be able to go out. Well not had to. Wanted to. I wanted to get better, I wanted it to not bother me as much as it did. It took quite a while but I got used to it. So I get it Yang. I know it’s hard, but this place helped me, so now it may help you as well if you would like. I’m sure Tuskon won’t have anything against you coming here if you want to.” She turned towards Yang with a light smile, and immediately took note how incredible her crimson eyes reflected the setting sun.

Yang watched her for a second with quiet consideration, before turning away and looking down at the slowly emptying street. She couldn’t say she totally understood Blake. It was different for her. She didn’t care about the city she didn’t know, it was the noise of it that bothered her. When she got back home from the hospital she seemed down but fine otherwise. She rarely had nightmares and had no sudden panic attacks. She lost her arm, she was depressed but she never had any violent reactions. At least at the beginning. It was the sounds. They didn’t scare or startle her. They didn’t trigger any panic attacks, they just irritated her. At first it was the TV, or Ruby listening to music too loudly. But soon it got worse, people talking or even rustling of the trees, it all frustrated her for whatever reason. She started having troubles sleeping, and when she did manage to fall asleep it was filled with loud noises, screaming people and music. She started leaving the house more and more and for longer periods of time. When she was alone it was manageable. But she could barely stand being around her family. They were just so noisy.

It was during one of her worst insomniac episodes that it happened. She didn’t sleep for more than three hours over the last three days and she was barely functioning. She finally gave up and took some pills that her doctor prescribed her (she hated depending on any kind of medication, she believed she was strong enough to take care of it herself). It did allow her to finally fall asleep only to fall into another nightmare. This one was different. She was hovering in darkness, nothing in sight. Just her and a dark figure hovering around her. Silhouette that reminded Yang of herself with barely discernible features aside from red eyes and a mean grin on her face. She swirled around Yang screaming at her, laughing loudly. She pushed and shoved her and used random items to make as much noise as she could. Yang tried to catch her and make her stop, but it was futile. All she could do was curl up into a ball and plug her ears. It did nothing to stop the noise so she pleaded and begged for the shadowy figure to stop, tears flowing from her eyes, and when it stopped and bent over her bursting out with a laugh right into Yang’s face, she lost it. Her hand finally clasped around the shadowy throat of the silhouette and she squeezed as hard as she could. Laughing sound was fading with each second while the silhouette squirmed away trying to pry Yang’s arm from its throat. It was finally quiet. Except as through mist she could hear something, someone calling her name but it did not matter. She was only focused on making sure the shadowy figure fell silent. So that she didn’t have to listen to it or look into its crimson eyes.

“YANG STOP PLEASE STOP! YANG!” A loud yell finally woke her up from her nightmare.

She was kneeling on the floor her arm stretched out towards the ground. Yang looked around to find Taiyang with a terrified look kneeling next to her trying to wrestle her arm off of something on the ground. It was only when she heard a squeak from the floor in between her legs that she looked down. It took her a while to register that she had her hand wrapped around Summer’s throat, her mother was squirming and making muffled squeaking sounds trying to pull Yang’s arm from her throat, and when she finally did she jumped right off her crawling back with tears streaming down her cheeks. Tai was making sure that Summer, who was coughing violently and massaging her throat, was fine and Yang noticed a teary eyed Ruby in her doorway.

“Mom.. I, mom please I’m sorry. I’M SORRY” Yang said through sobs, vision blurry form the tears. She quickly got up and ran out of the room, downstairs and outside of the house where she started breathing heavily dropping to her knees.

_Oh god, oh god please._

“Yang?”

_Please please please be all right_

“Yang, are you ok?”

_Oh god I just attacked my mother... oh god please be fine, PLEASE!_

“Sis? Yang please say something”

_PLEASE GOD I’M BEGGING YOU LET NOTHING HAPPEN TO HER_

“Yang” She ignored tugging on her shirt and Ruby’s voice.

_What the hell happened, why was I… Summer, why was she in my room? Oh god I hope she’s okay. She has to, ‘cause if she is not I will…_

She jerked her head up when she felt small hands wrapping her in a tight hug. Lifting her head she noticed dark hair and felt slim figure pushing into her and holding her tightly. She first thought about Ruby, but it wasn’t her sister. It was motherly, it made her feel safe so she weakly clung to her mother.

“I’m sorry mom, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry” Yang recited trough her sobs, breaking down more with each word.

“It’s okay baby, I’m here, You are safe, it’s okay sunshine” Summer said with a raspy whisper. Her throat hurt and she could barely speak but her daughter was hurting and some minor thing like almost being choked to death was not going to stop her from providing safety and comfort to her baby in need. Her heart broke with each sob and shiver she felt coming from Yang clinging to her. It didn’t take long for Ruby and Tai to join them, Ruby quietly crying as well weaseling her way inside both Yang’s and Summer’s arms with Tai rubbing slow circles on both Yang’s and his wife’s back. They all stayed like that for a while before moving back to the house. Yang refused to go back to sleep, sitting on the floor, knees brought to her chin hugged by her left arm and back resting on the side of the bed. Ruby stayed with her but fell asleep shortly after curling up into a ball next to her sister, covered in Yang’s blanket she pulled from her bed.

Yang remembered next few days through a fog. She refused to eat, speak and sleep. She just sat on her bed and refused to even look at anyone. She didn’t dare to look at her mother, seeing her bruised throat was something she couldn’t take. Summer sat with her most of the time those few days, hugging her, telling her it wasn’t her fault, that she was fine and that everything is going to be ok. Yang didn’t believe a word. She knew it was her fault. She knew she hurt Summer and that nothing is going to be ok. Yang was disgusted with herself. With being so weak. With hurting the one woman in her life that gave everything to her. How could she live with herself? Summer never had anything but love for Yang even if she wasn’t her real daughter and she almost killed her.

**_You are weak. You couldn’t even handle a bit of noise, how pathetic. How long until you go on a rampage during another nightmare again? What if you hurt Ruby this time? What if your father won’t be there to stop you?_ **

Yang tightened the grip on her knees. The venomous voice in her head was her constant companion ever since the incident, when she dozed off for few moments the shadowy silhouette was there waiting, nasty grin on its face and a voice making the blood in her veins feel like acid. Making fun of her and calling her names. This time she knew there was no fighting it. She deserved everything the silhouette threw at her. Yang knew it then even though she didn’t want to admit it yet, embers of hope still barely flickering. She had to leave.

Looking into the sun on the rooftop Yang blinked away the tears gathering in her eyes threatening to spill. She glanced at Blake, but the brunette seemed too lost in the scenery and didn’t notice anything. Yang couldn’t tell her. Blake did not deserve listening to Yang’s sob story. But she felt bad. Blake was nothing but amazing, taking care of her so well, she was kind and respectful, not demanding anything of Yang.

“I don’t think I ever thanked you for taking me in” She said not looking at Blake, the brunette giving her quizzical look but staying silent. “You had no reason to do it, you don’t know me and you certainly don’t owe me anything. So thank you Blake, for everything. You can’t imagine how much it means to me what you are doing for me. What you both with Coco are doing for me. I am in your debt and I promise I will pay you back. I’m not sure if you know but Coco offered me a job, so while I know it’s a lot to ask, I would like to ask you to let me stay for a while longer, at least so I can pay you back for everything you’ve done for me.” Yang continued finally turning towards Blake, who just looked at her with her head slightly tilted to the side adorned with a warm smile.

“I would love for you to stay a bit longer Yang, and don’t worry you don’t have to repay me or anything. I don’t care about stuff like that. I’m just glad you feel better and that you decided to stay” Blake made sure to accent the last word.

“Dammit. Coco told you of my master plan?” Yang asked laughing quietly. She tried not to show how nervous she was about this conversation. It wasn’t something she was used to. But she figured she had to say it, as much for Blake as to steel herself in her decision to stay and start working for Coco.

“Yes she did, she also told me she had a job for you so don’t worry. You can stay for as long as you want.” Blake laughed while responding.

“Thanks Blake, really thank you a lot” Yang’s smile was a bit more peaceful this time, as she watched sun ending its daily route through the sky.


	6. Missing Parts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mother of everything that is holy I hate this chapter. It was so hard to write this monstrosity ;/.  
> It's much longer than my usual chapters but I don't think you guys will mind. Descriptions are the bane of my existance. I originaly wrote 5 page grand tour of Crosshares but I revised it and cut most of it out.  
> As always I cannot thank my Bat friend enough. She is probably the sole reason I managed to get this far- So thanks! And thanks to all of you that are reading this as well!
> 
> Enjoy the chapter and as always I appreciate any comment and criticism!

 “A bar… You own a bar? Seriously?”, Yang asked with her jaw slacking. When Coco asked them to meet up with her on Sunday morning, to finally show her what exactly would Yang be doing for the brunette, she expected a lot of things. A bar entrance situated in a shady looking alleyway was not one of them.

“Not a bar, THE bar,” Coco corrected her, back straightened, hands on her sides staring with a proud spark in her eye as she looked at a short stairwell leading up to a wooden door, with a matching wooden sign with “Crosshares” written on it and a stitched heart inside what seemed to be a crosshair, hanging above it.

“I always wanted to own a bar,” Coco started with a nostalgic tone.

“She did not,” Blake quietly said to Yang.

“I inherited it from my estranged aunt. It was in ruins, I had to refurbish this whole place by myself,” Coco continued ignoring Blake and Yang whose brows were starting to reach an alarming altitude.

“She found the ad for mostly equipped bar in the newspaper,” Blake chimed in again, hovering her hand in front of her mouth in a conspirational whisper, loud enough to be heard by both girls.

“It was destiny!”, Coco exclaimed with pride.

“She got the idea from Jaune when they were drunk at a party few years ago,” Blake informed Yang with a wink and a laugh when she noticed the baffled look on Yang’s face.

“Stop confusing the poor girl, Coco,” Blake said while slapping Coco on the shoulder, Coco flashed a wide grin to Yang and went up the stairs to unlock the doors with Blake and Yang following.

“I think I saw this in a movie once. It’s this one bar that the town mafia owns and hangs around all day at, or that some other shady black market types set their base of operations in, isn’t it?” The question made Blake laugh and Coco gasped bringing her hand to her chest in a mock offense.

“How dare you! I will have you know that this is a high class establishment visited by the elites of society!”, Coco answered leading both girls further in.

“Right. Elites.” Yang gave the alleyway one more look before hurrying up inside.

While Crosshares was technically located near Vale’s downtown, it was kind of hidden. It was one of those places that you had to know was there to find it or you had to run into it by some big coincidence, hidden between two larger buildings, the entrance located in a rather small alleyway.  

Yang blinked few times to let her eyes adjust to a dim lighting that the interior seemed to be basking in, when her eyes finally adjusted she felt her jaw slack a bit while she took in the view in front of her.

 The inside was nothing like she had expected. Instead of a rundown bar, with a dirty wooden counter, old barstools, mist of cigarette smoke and maybe a pool table instead she was greeted with spotless mahogany counter and matching stools, a large mirror wall behind the bar adorned with dark glass shelves, stacked with different bottles. Space, way bigger than two buildings squeezing the bar outside would seemingly allow, was filled with matching mahogany cocktail tables, couple bigger square tables, four chairs each, and a small scene with red curtains draped at the back of it in the far corner. It was empty at the moment not counting a black piano.

Yang marveled at the mostly black and white pictures decorating dark brown walls, all of them signed by the same author “Anesidora”, before turning her attention to Coco who was standing behind the bar with the biggest shit eating grin on her face. Blake took a spot on one of the stools and was eyeing the blonde, her head propped on her palm and small smile appeared on her lips.

Yang was impressed to say the least, while the inside was styled to be kind of old school, it was done tastefully. Whoever decorated the place (Yang was pretty sure it was all Coco) certainly knew what they were doing.

“Elites, huh?”, Yang sighed slowly making her way towards the bar.

“Feel free to be utterly impressed,” said Coco in a pleased voice.

“I do have to say I am. I did not expect this at all. Not you running a bar, and not this place being so fancy.  Are those pictures really from the Anesidora? Like the super famous photographer?”, Yang asked hopping on a stool next to Blake.

“Yup, the one and only,” Coco flashed Blake a grin and earned an eye roll from the raven haired girl.

“So did you meet them? I heard that nobody meets them. Like nobody even knows who they are,” Yang said glancing from one girl to the other. For a moment she considered telling them that she had a sort of a run in with the mysterious photographer, but she knew it would raise way too many questions she did not feel comfortable answering. _Maybe some other time,_ Yang thought to herself.

“Maybe… Wanna get an autograph? I could totally hook you up with one!”, Coco’s grin seemed to be permanent at this point.

“Coco for the love of Oum, can you please tell Yang about the job already. I am not spending whole Sunday in this hovel,” Blake said sighing heavily.

“You are so banned from here,” Coco answered, but any weight behind her words was dissipated by her chuckling.

Yang straightened her back and locked her gaze on Coco. The job. Her anxiety was rising with every minute. Suddenly agreeing to Coco’s offer seemed like a really bad idea. Yang wasn’t strong enough. Her bruises may have been gone, but her ribs still ached and even hurt occasionally when she made too sudden movement, not even mentioning her missing arm.

_It’s fine. **No it’s not**. I can do it. **No you can’t.** It’s going to be okay. **No it won’t be.** I’m sure Coco won’t make me do anything that I can’t handle. **You will humiliate yourself and prove to everyone how weak and pathetic you are.**_

Yang’s downward spiral was stopped by Coco who watched her with narrow eyes. She must have noticed her growing anxiety.

“So about the job. I think you should just hover around and see how the bar operates normally, and what kind of costumers we have for first few days. After that I am going to need you to deliver some paperwork to few places and manage deliveries, we have some stocking up to do.  In the meantime you will shadow some of the staff to learn a bit so you can fill in wherever you may be needed. Have you ever worked as a waitress or a bartender maybe? I would put you in as a bouncer, seeing as Yatsu is still going to take a while getting back from Menagerie, but I don’t think you are in decent enough shape to do that yet.”

“I doubt you would want a one armed bouncer,”  Yang responded dejectingly looking down. “And no I have no experience working as a waitress or a bartender.” 

“Relax blondie. I won’t let you do anything alone until I’m sure you are not going to ruin my baby. We are usually open from 6pm till 4am, and there are 2 shifts working.  If an event is scheduled to take place we of course adjust hours and shifts accordingly, but we don’t have anything planned in the near future. For now I will want you to come in with the first shift at 4pm. Now let’s go and I will show you around the back,” Coco said heading towards the door leading to the back of the bar.

Rest of the tour went rather quickly, with Coco showing Yang a small kitchen (Aside from some snacks and appetizers, meals were reserved for VIP’s only), her office, employee lounge with small kitchen niche, fridge and two rooms with beds included (Not. For. Hook ups. Coco seemed irked to have to underline that) a locker room with showers and bathrooms, ending with a fully stocked storeroom.

“And this concludes our sightseeing tour. I want to see you here tomorrow 4pm. Any questions?”, Coco swirled around to face Yang.

“Um yeah, I… What’s the dress code here? I don’t really have any fancy clothes as you probably know… I don’t really have any clothes for that matter,” Yang said rubbing her hand on the back of her head.

“Oh that’s right. Come with me!”, Coco grabbed Yang’s arm and quickly headed towards the locker room.  Once inside she went straight to the locker in the far right corner of the room and propped it open. “Voilà,” she exclaimed pulling out a set of clothing consisting of a white button up shirt, black vest, dark crimson tie, and black pants. “This, my dear blondie, is your new uniform. I got you 2 pairs of everything just in case. You better take good care of it. We have some clean backup shirts and vests but I cannot guarantee they will fit,” Coco said while pushing the clothes onto Yang.

“And this will fit how?”, Yang asked eyeing her new uniform carefully.

“Please, it was tailored just for you,” Coco answered with a grin.

“Wait, you know my measurements? What the hell?”, Yang said, her eyes growing wide.

“Babe please. I was born with a measuring tape in my eyes. It’s hereditary in my family,” Coco dismissed Yang with a wave of her hand earning a slap on the shoulder from Blake.

“Don’t worry Yang, its normal. Coco’s mom is this super famous fashion designer, and unfortunately Coco inherited her talent, and her bitchiness towards clothing. She just knows those things and there is nothing you can do about it, so just go with it,” Blake explained earning a small “Uh huh” from the blonde and “Watch it Fur ball” from the brunette.

Yang eyed her new uniform for a moment before putting it back into the locker which Coco promptly closed, handing two keys to her.

“Now then, since the business is concluded for the day let’s go to Blake’s so she can make us lunch!”, Coco said vigorously heading back into the main room of the bar leaving the two women behind.

 

* * *

 

 

Yang stared at the entrance to Crosshares. It was 10 minutes till 4pm and Blake just dropped her off before heading to a meeting at her work. She was almost numb from nervousness. Blake had spent last 2 hours convincing her that everything is going to be all right and that Coco is going to be there to help if needed.

With a heavy sigh Yang slowly made her way up and into the bar and let her hand rest on the knob. _Well, here goes nothing._ She thought to herself and pulled the door, entering inside.

Her ears picked up muffled sounds of shuffling furniture and quiet conversations. Coco was sitting at the bar looking through some papers, she must have noticed Yang enter in the giant mirror wall behind the bar cause she immediately stood up and made her way towards the blonde.

“Blondie! Glad you could join us,” she said with a smile patting Yang on her back.

“Yeah, hi… Boss,” Yang answered with a smirk. Even if she was on the verge of having a panic attack she could at least pretend to be chill.

Coco answered her smirk with a grin and turned around producing, what Yang was pretty sure, the loudest whistle she has ever heard. “Gather up minions!”, she called the staff waving them in with her hand. Once they all gathered she introduced Yang.

“This here, boys and girls, is our newest bunny: Yang Branwen! Play nice and be helpful.  I informed you about this and starting today we are officially implementing program ‘training wheels’, any questions? No? Fantastic! Yang, get changed. June she’s with you behind bar today. Now back to work you freeloaders!”, Coco pointed with her chin at a taller brown haired girl and went back to browsing her papers at the bar.

“So you know where the lockers and stuff are? The boss said she was going to give you the tour but if you need anything gimme a call. I’m June the bartender!”, The girl said holding out her right arm to Yang.

_Crap._ Yang’s brain immediately started preparing her for the coming awkwardness as she started rubbing the back of her head with her left hand.

“Ummm, yeah sorry about that,” she waved her stump a bit and offered her left hand instead. “I’m Yang pleasure to be working with you.”

“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry I didn’t… I didn’t notice, I’m so sorry,” June said frantically shaking Yang’s hand with both of hers.

“It’s fine really. No biggie. People do that all the time,” Yang tried to pry her hand from her new colleague hands. “So I’m gonna go change now and meet you at the bar?”, she said finally managing to get free.

“Sure, I’ll be waiting!”, June said waving Yang off before going back out to the main room.

Yang went into locker room and sat on the bench in front of her locker. Closing her eyes she took couple shaky breaths, opening and closing her shaking palm few times to calm herself.

_It’s going to be fine. It’s going to be fine. It’s going to be fine._

She repeated the mantra in her head, trying to ignore the mocking laugh that scratched at the back of her skull. Finally managing to calm down she stood up and took her uniform from the locker and with a loud exhale she started to get ready.

Coco was busy signing some delivery so when someone lightly tapped her shoulder she almost jumped up. Looking to her side, ready to chew up anyone who startled her like that, any remark she had suddenly evaporated from her mind, replaced by the view of Yang standing next to her in her uniform and holding a tie in her hand.

“Hey there boss. So unless you want me to pester someone every time I get to work, can I just skip the tie? I can’t really tie it myself,” said Yang waving it in front of Coco, who just eyed her up and down with slightly narrowed eyes.

“Umm, everything okay?”, the blonde asked getting a bit unnerved by the stare. She flinched when Coco swiftly grabbed the tie from her hand and swirled her finger propping Yang to turn around.

“Guess not,” sighed Yang. She wasn’t too excited about asking random people for help, but she understood that it was Coco’s bar and she probably wanted uniformity across her staff looks.

To her surprise she felt Coco gather up her hair into a high ponytail and tying it up with the tie.  Yang’s hair used to be treated like a holy relic. Aside from Summer and sometimes Ruby, whomever would dare to touch it would end up with at least couple bruises (if they were lucky). Her lack of care about it now stung at her heart a bit but she said nothing and let Coco work.

“There we go. All neat and pretty,” the brunette said while turning Yang around with a grin. “You can skip the tie, and you can get something else to tie your hair next time. Also you better keep the girls all buttoned up. This is a classy establishment not a strip club,“ She eyed Yang from head to toe again, ignoring Yang’s blush as she buttoned up her collar, because damn did Yang look good. Her new outfit accentuated all the curves properly, curves that Yang had in spares to show. _God I hope Blake makes it tonight. This is going to be priceless_. Coco nodded with a self-assured smile. “You are looking fine, girl! Wait till Blake sees you. Now get to work!”, she grinned and slapped Yang’s shoulder delicately.

Coco watched as Yang settled in behind the bar observing June as she was explaining different things while preparing the bar for service. She felt a tug in her gut from her growing excitement. Coco fully expected something to go wrong, because how could she not. She didn’t know Yang that well, and what she did know didn’t exactly inspire supreme confidence in her, but all she could do was to wait. With reluctance she turned back to her paperwork and with a sigh started to scribble down where she finished.

 

* * *

 

Blake sped up, it was already past 10pm, the meeting she had ran much longer than she thought it would. She really wanted to be there for Yang’s first day but as usual the author she was currently editing for had ran into some issues (and of course most of the made absolutely no sense). Turning into the alley Crosshares was located in she slowed down to catch her breath. Skipping stairs she got in throwing a quick “Hi.” to a tall, somehow lanky boy who served as a bouncer tonight. He nodded and didn’t make any move to stop her. She was widely known by the staff as a VIP guest.

The main room was as busy as usual. Groups of people occupying cocktail tables, few of the patrons sitting at the bar. Blake didn’t really like the clientele of Crosshares. All models, male, female, human and faunus alike. Mingled with designers, photographers, agents and generally better off members of the society, they all made Blake feel very inadequate. She never considered herself to be pretty. He certainly never told her she was.

Blake shook her head to get rid of any lingering thoughts of Him, and started looking around searching for a pile of blonde hair, instead finding Coco in a middle of a conversation with some older woman Blake didn’t know. Their eyes met, and Coco immediately said her goodbyes to the old lady and made her way to Blake with a very “Coco” smirk on her face.

“Hey there Kitty, come here often?”, Coco chimed wrapping her arm around Blake’s shoulders.

“Nope, I really hate it here. The owner is such a bitch. I’m just here to check on my friend. She just started today. Tall, blonde and she has one arm. Seen her around?”, said Blake while rolling her eyes and looking around the room.

“Oh yeah she should be around here somewhere trying to make herself useful,“ Coco said, with her grin only getting bigger “Ah, there is our star of the evening,” she told Blake while elbowing her and nodding towards Yang who just entered the room carrying an unopened bottle of champagne.

Blake always thought of herself as a tactful person. She could read the situation and knew how to act accordingly. She didn’t stare, didn’t comment when it wasn’t necessary. She was polite. Except now she was none of those things. In that moment the most Blake’s mind was able to do was trying to acknowledge Yang.  Tall figure slicker than you would expect, hair pulled up in a high ponytail with what Blake could have sworn was a tie. Her generous curves were superbly accentuated by tightly fitted uniform that Coco prepared for her staff. And damn did Coco know what she was doing.  She could barely registered Coco’s heartily laugh at her side.

Light tap on her chin brought Blake back from her gawking session.

“Curb your libido Belladonna, she is working. And close your mouth while you’re at it.” Coco told Blake trying and failing to hold her laughter.

“What? I am not… I have no idea what you are talking about.” Blake crossed her arms and turned her head away from her friend. Her cheeks burning, she was never more grateful for dimmed lighting hiding her furious blush.

“Whatever. You should be grateful I told Yang to keep her shirt buttoned up. And I swear to Oum if you drool on my floor I am going to make Yang mop it up.” Still grinning Coco padded Blake’s back, earning an annoyed huff from the black haired girl. “Come on, let’s get something to drink.”

Coco was having time of her life. She loved to tease other people, and teasing Blake, who was usually calm and collected was her favorite past time. She had to make the most out of the opportunity since it happened so rarely. Blake being interested in anyone. It has been so long since Blake’s adorable crush on Pyrrha and Coco would not miss this chance for anything. Once they were both seated she locked her gaze on Yang.

“See anything you like Blakey?”, she asked Blake, eyeing Yang who looked as uncomfortable as Blake was embarrassed.

“Shut up, Arctic tea medley, virgin please,” she said to June, while Coco gestured to Yang to come to them.

“Hi Blake, boss,” Yang said nodding towards the two.

“Hey Yang, how is your first day going? I hope Coco is being reasonable,” Blake responded with a smile.

“Excuse me? When have I ever been unreasonable?”, Coco mocked offense jerking away from her friend.

“Like just this week or all time? Cause we would be here for a while…”, Blake said showing Coco her tongue, earning a small snort of laughter from Yang.

“Watch it chuckles or you will be scrubbing the steps at the entrance with a toothbrush for the rest of the week“,  Coco said but there was no irk in her voice.

“It’s fine. I am just observing mostly or fetching stuff for June here and try not to get in her way too much,” Yang said ignoring Coco.

“She’s doing great, she’s actually helpful and so far she hasn’t broken anything yet,” June interjected with a smile, earning one in return from the blonde.

The rest of Yang’s shift went on without any problems, barring Coco who did her absolute best to distract Yang and embarrass Blake at the same time.

Sitting down in changing room Yang exhaled a loud sigh. She made it. Nothing bad happened. It was fine and she made it. She sat in silence, listening to the muffled sounds of the bar for few minutes before getting up and getting changed. Blake and Coco were waiting for her so she could head home with Blake. Coco wanted to stay a bit longer to talk with some of the patrons.

When she got outside a nice chill air hit her face. The bar was well ventilated, but it was really nice to get out and breathe in some fresh air. She noticed Blake sitting at the bottom steps. She seemed to be reading something using the lamp above the entrance as a light source in otherwise dark alleyway.

“Ready to go?”, she asked lifting her gaze from the papers and propping herself up. “Coco was called inside for something so we can head back.”

“Yeah, let’s go,” Yang answered and walked down to Blake.

 

* * *

 

 

Even though Yang’s first day was lacking in any surprises (which she was grateful for), Coco fully expected something to go horribly wrong in the next few days. So when the next day and the day after that passed without anything happening Coco’s anxiety only deepened. She hated just waiting for something to happen but she couldn’t shake the feeling. It took Coco most of the second week to notice the problem. She couldn’t say one bad word about Yang, she was hardworking and she learned surprisingly fast, everyone else on the staff seemed to like her as well. The problem was that Yang was slow. It wasn’t exactly her fault as well. She did the best she could with one arm, but those two weeks were all it took for Coco to know that Yang is going to struggle.

This was a perfect chance for Coco to try something she wanted to do for a while. Blake wouldn’t know about it so she couldn’t stop her and who knows, if it went like Coco expected it to, it could be good for the blonde.

So at the end of Yang’s Saturday shift Coco took her to her office to talk. Because enough was enough. Coco was already ungodly patient with her. Giving her time to accommodate, and hopefully to touch on the one subject Coco was dying to talk about but no, Yang of course said nothing. She did everything Coco told her to. And she did it well. How dare she be a freaking employee of the month material! It peeved Coco to no end,  she figured that riling Yang up would maybe move things along. So when Yang stood there in her office trying not to look nervous, Coco steeled her expression not to show the smile that was brewing inside her. _This is it._ She thought.

“Sit down,” Coco tried to make herself sound as neutral as she could. Again stopping her smile when she saw how Yang situated herself at the very edge of the seat. For another minute she just observed as Yang started to squirm before finally speaking up.

“Did… Did I do something wrong?”, the blonde asked quietly looking at her knees. Coco closed her eyes and told herself that it’s for the best.

“Yes and no. While you didn’t do anything specific Yang, we do have an issue that must be addressed“, Coco said with a stern look. Yang’s gaze was now permanently fixed on her knees.

“You seem to be picking up things quickly, and you haven’t had any major fuckups but you are slow Yang,” The brunette took a pause to see if her words provoked any reaction. The only indication that she heard it was Yang’s fist clenching on her lap.

“Everything you do you do too slowly. Even simple things like wiping glasses and dishes, takes you twice as long as anyone else. Now I get that you have your… disadvantages, but I am running a business and I need things done in a timely matter,” Coco continued, cringing internally. She was confrontational, but she was never mean for the sake of being mean. And she most definitely didn’t enjoy kicking a puppy while it was down. But she was at the end of her ropes. She had to get a reaction out of Yang. Even if it meant she had to make her mad.

When Yang lifted her head, for a second Coco saw the gleam in her eyes. The spark of denial that preceded an argument. _That’s it girl. Give me something. Anything!_ But the spark was gone as soon as it appeared and Yang lowered her head again.

“I see. I’m sorry,” The resignation in her voice almost made Coco choke. _Oh for Oum’s sake._

“Okay that’s it, get up. We are leaving,” Coco didn’t even try to hide her annoyance. She passed Yang and waited for her at the door to her office. “Move your ass blondie.”

“I… Where are we going?”, Yang asked quietly. She could clearly see Coco’s anger and she didn’t know what to expect but she followed her out of the backroom and outside of the bar with growing worry. They made their way outside, to Coco’s car parked on the street near the alleyway.

“Get in” was all Yang got while Coco jumped into the driver seat.

The drive was shorter than she expected, but then again Coco did speed a little. Yang wanted to ask where they were going but at this point Coco was basically fuming from her ears, so Yang decided not to risk it. Her worry only deepened when she realized where they were going. Blake’s apartment. They made their way up in silence. Yang didn’t know what time it was, but Blake said she should be back soon after her. Once they got inside the apartment Coco pulled one of the chairs at the table and directed Yang to it with a singular short “Sit”. Yang listened and sat down without a word and started observing Coco who instead of sitting with her started pacing around the place murmuring something under her nose. They sat in silence and whenever Yang tried to say something she was silenced by a very pointed stare from Coco.

Finally after what seemed to be ages, they both heard shuffling of the keys outside and Coco darted to the doors opening them quickly to a very surprised Blake.

“Wha…? Coco?!”, Blake started to say but was brutally interrupted by Coco unceremoniously pulling her towards the table that Yang sat at.

 “What the hell Coco, what is going on?”, Blake finally managed to ask, looking between Yang who seemed to be incredibly uncomfortable on her seat and Coco who was now towering above both of them looking at Yang with narrowed eyes and a heavy frown on her face.

“Coco what the hell happened?”, Blake was now giving the pair exceedingly worried looks.

Yang looked like she wanted to speak up but Coco just pointed a finger at her and said, “You shut up, I’m doing the talking. And you,” she switched her finger towards Blake” You wanna know what happened?”, When Blake nodded she continued.

“SHE APOLOGIZED TO ME BLAKE!”, Coco almost screamed. Blake’s jaw slacked a bit.

“How dare she! Seriously Coco, you are freaking me out. What is going on?”, Blake answered after getting her bearings. Coco was mad. She hasn’t seen her so riled up in a long while. Something serious must have happened. _Did Yang do something?_ Blake pondered while Coco bore holes into Yang’s head with her stare.

“You know what, I’ve fucking had it. I get it Yang, life is hard, you lost your arm and you are homeless. Well, were homeless. But for crying out loud please, stop with the kicked puppy routine. Get angry, get happy or get whatever. Just stop trying to pretend that you are a punching bag and you can’t do anything right. It’s so fucking annoying. I just cannot stand this anymore. It’s just so horrible seeing you make yourself be this pathetic little thing. So please for the love of god stop apologizing for everything and bite back.”

_Crap._ That was all Blake could think about. She knew Coco wasn’t the most patient person in the world. She also knew that Yang’s situation weighed on her a lot. Coco was a kind hearted woman albeit a bit eccentric and she hated seeing people in distress. But she didn’t expect Coco to lose it like she did.

“It’s not like I chose this,” A quiet voice broke the silence that slowly settled over the room. Blake’s gaze snapped to Yang and then immediately followed onto Coco. She saw the brunette close her eyes slowly and exhale heavily. _Crap._

Blake half expected all hell to rain on them both but Coco just turned around and stomped her way into Yang’s room and for few moments all they could hear were slight shuffling sounds. Blake knew what’s coming and her mind started racing. _Here? Now? Was Coco really about to do it?_  They did talk about it. The prosthetic that Yang was potentially hiding. They did agree that at some point the subject had to see the light of the day, but Blake wasn’t sure about head on confrontation. Ideally they both would have liked for it to come from Yang, but apparently Blake overestimated Coco’s patience. They never really figured out how to tackle the subject, and she was starting to freak out a bit. This was shaping to be an unprecedented disaster.

Yang was looking at the door over her shoulder, and Blake was lost in her thoughts, so when Coco emerged from Yang’s room carrying a long black box under her arm, Yang’s head snapped back towards Blake, which in turn snapped Blake up from her thoughts. She eyed the blonde carefully taking note of how rigid Yang’s posture became and how tightly she clenched her now shaking fist. She fixed her gaze on the table in front of her and Blake wanted nothing more than to sit next to her and wrap her arm around her to ease her distress.

A box landing on the table made them both jump. Yang refused to look at anything other than the table and Blake switched her gaze between Yang, the box and Coco. Coco seemed to be content staring at the box in front of them.

“If you didn’t choose this, then tell me what this is?”, Coco asked with a calm voice.

“H-How? How do you know about this?”, Yang’s voice was weak and quiet. She still refused to look up at either of the women in front of her.

“I saw it when you asked me to fetch some tools for you. I did my research. It wasn’t hard putting two and two together once we found out who that logo on the box belongs to,” Coco answered her hand moving to one of the clasps holding the box closed. It opened with a pop that made Yang jump in her seat.

“Coco. P-Please,” Yang voice was distorted by a tremble.

“If this is what we think it is, that means that you are choosing this life for yourself Yang. We can’t help you if you won’t let us. Talk to us please,” Coco’s hand continued its journey to the second clasp. Another pop resounded in the room.

Blake’s gut twisted and wrenched. She could hear the tremble in Yang’s voice. Hear the quiet whimpers that left her quivering lips and now she could see the tears streaming down her face. She felt her own eyes tear up. She glanced at Coco whose face was expressionless. She was staring at the box on the table her hand moving up to the last clasp.

“Please,” Yang finally raised her head and looked at Coco. Her eyes were wide and pleading, swollen with tears.

Coco’s fingers popped open the last clasp on the case. The pop made Yang close her eyes and start sobbing. Blake wanted nothing more than to punch Coco in the face right now.

“You cannot continue like this Yang. I am not gonna pretend I know what you went through. But this has to stop. Whatever it is that you are beating yourself up so much about, we can help you with it. Just talk with us. Please,” Coco slowly pried the case open, praying to god that it was there. And it was.

Interior of the case was filled with a black sponge. Inside of which in a cutout made for it lay an arm made seemingly out of mate metal. It was dark grayish base with yellow fingers, elbow and forearm.

Coco eyed the prosthetic entranced by how surreal it felt. She turned her head to Blake to see her friend equally fascinated by the appendage. She looked at Yang and she had to bite her lip, because Yang looked so small and vulnerable, her shoulders shaking with quiet sobs, tears dropping from her cheeks.  Seeing Yang like this made Coco resolve waver for a moment. _It’s too late to back off now._ She thought to herself.

“You have an amazing prosthetic. From a company known to produce one of the most advanced ones out there, yet you choose not to use it. Why Yang? Why would make yourself live like this when you don’t have to? Please tell us. Hell, tell Blake if that makes you more comfortable. I don’t have to be here for that. Just please talk to someone,” Coco’s voice was delicate and soothing, she put her hand on Yang’s shaking shoulder. After that neither she nor Blake said anything.

The only things breaking the silence in the room were Yang’s sobs.


	7. Guilt

There was a place that, after she ran away from home, Yang found herself in more and more often. Well it wasn’t really a place more like a feeling, a frame of mind. She came to associate it with an image of desolate flat wasteland stretching as far as her sight could go. Ruins of some sort were nothing more than mere shadows in the distance. No trees, no animals, just Yang. Standing at the edge of the cliff, a deep dark abyss below and a wall of mist stretching as far as she could see on the other side. Pale moving shadows hovering behind the veil of fog, just enough to see but too far away to make out what they were.  A singular stone bridge led into the fog. Old and falling apart, with each time that Yang found herself in here dwindling and eroding more and more.

Yang was always alone here, air thick with feelings of abandonment and loneliness, almost choking. She knew she could never reach the ruins, and she knew what waited for her in the abyss below, it made her uneasy emanating a sense of finality, as if she decided to let it swallow her, she would never be able to go back up. But the other side terrified her. It was neither rational, nor did she know what awaited her there but she couldn’t even bring herself to think about crossing the bridge. Yang was stuck. She found herself sitting alone in here more and more often unable to move forward or back. Her only companion being a mocking laugh of her dream tormentor heard somewhere in the background, nothing more than a breeze.

Except this time it was different. She wasn’t alone. It was much worse.

With a dark calling abyss stretching behind her back Yang felt cornered. In front of her as if slithering on the ground was Coco, but it wasn’t the Coco she knew. She was much taller, towering over Yang and much to slim, her skin replaced by brown, almost metallic looking scales, shining in the fogged light over Yang’s wasteland. Her face contorted with snake-like features, thin long fangs coming out of her mouth and eyes, dark and unmoving, set on Yang’s own. Every word she spoke was a drop of venom that burned the ground. Slowly and silently she was moving towards Yang, forcing the blonde back with each step getting her closer to the edge.

A bit to the side sat Blake. Her knees high, covering lower half of her face, hair gently rippling, covering her like a shroud of living shadow. Her ears larger and more pointed were still, contrasting with the mass of black velvet surrounding her. But it was her eyes that unnerved Yang the most. Thin slits of irises, among what seemed to be the deepest shade of amber in existence, fixed their gaze upon her as if looking at a prey. Silent and unmoving she could very well be a statue if not for the mass of gently flowing hair that surrounded her.

There was no escape. Yang had to confront her fears or let the abyss take her. And that terrified her more than anything at the moment.

So she tried gathering whatever pieces of her courage were still intact raised her head looking at both Blake and Coco, tears trailing over her cheeks and body still shivering from the sobs. She took a moment to take in their expressions. Coco’s light reassuring smile, her eyes softer than before, waiting and surprisingly gentle. Blake wore a sad smile on her lips, her expression conflicted as if she herself didn’t know how to react. With a shaky hand Yang wiped her eyes, and took a small breath to try and compose herself. _Futile effort huh._  She thought to herself as she felt more tears forcing their way out of her eyes.

Yang was scared. She wanted nothing more than to run away to her room and hide under her covers until it all passes and is forgotten. But she was also tired. Tired of constantly running away from everything. But the feeling she was tortured by the most of all was guilt. She felt so bad for lying to both of them, for not sharing anything about her situation. The two people, who actually tried to help her. Who provided her with roof over her head, food and even a job. And what they got in return? Yang, a liar and a coward. They both genuinely seemed to care and wanted to help her, and she wouldn’t let them. She was too afraid to share her past with them before, because if they knew they would surely hate her, right? _**How could they not?**_ She hated being so withdrawn and yet the fear was so strongly rooted in her she couldn’t fight it. Except now she had no choice.

“I-I can’t use it,” Yang lowered her eyes back to the table, grabbing the edge to try and ground herself with its weight.

“Can’t or won’t?” Coco gently asked. Yang seemed to be calming down a bit. There was still hope that all of this will lead somewhere.

“I… I don’t deserve it.”

_Tell them. Just tell them Yang._

“Well somebody obviously thought you did deserve it,” Coco pushed, gently squeezing Yang’s arm.

“Yeah well, they were wrong,” Yang’s voice was closing to a whisper.

_Just say it._

“Come on Yang, don’t do this. Don’t sell yourself short. You clearly have somebody caring for you if they helped get you this baby. Or you clearly did something that warranted you getting it,” Coco tried not to let her irritation show. She was so not going to let Yang reel all of it back in.

“They shouldn’t care. Not for me. Not for my arm. I did nothing to deserve it. If anything I gave them every reason not to.” Yang’s response was a bit louder this time.

_The truth Yang. Tell them. They deserve at least this much._

Coco could feel Yang’s back tense, as well as her own frustration boil within her. What could have Yang possibly do to get herself here? Coco was quickly losing patience once again.

“Okay blondie, this ends now. I don’t know what you think you did or what you think your people think of you, but I assure you it’s not as bad as you thi-“ Coco’s speech was interrupted by Yang suddenly standing up, sending her chair stumbling onto the floor.

“I ALMOST KILLED MY MOTHER COCO!” Yang screamed, making Coco take a step back with eyes wide and mouth open. “I-if… If I had it on back then, she would be dead,” Yang continued loudly, curling her hand into a fist and slamming it into a table with a loud thump.

**_Now they know. Now they can despise you as everyone else does._ **

The blonde felt her breath quicken and a new wave of tears gather under her closed eyelids. She could feel the memories of that night over a year ago wriggle their way to the surface. She tried to push them back down, she couldn’t take it. Not now. Not when she was so physically and mentally exhausted. _God please not now. NOT NOW._ She could feel her chest tighten, breathing becoming a chore and there was nothing she could do other than surrender to the torrent and let it take her and rip her apart. Except nothing like that happened. Suddenly everything became muted, and all her thoughts were smothered by the unexpected warmth and pressure that came with it. It was so familiar, it was a feeling she yearned for ever since she left home, one that she desperately needed, and one that she had nowhere to get. Everything else forgotten, she allowed herself to fall apart and started weeping being enveloped by the smell of lavender and feeling of silky hair on her cheek in what was a simplest of affectionate gestures. A hug.

Seeing Yang stand up so suddenly and shout her confession was what shook up Blake from paralysis. When Yang started breaking down Blake found herself torn apart between the need to console and her anxiety about getting involved. What was she supposed to say? It’s going to be ok? Don’t worry? It all seemed so pathetic. Should she stay quiet? _What if I say something that makes it worse for her? What if I make her even more withdrawn? What did Coco say to me all those years ago, during my breakdowns? Does it matter? Did it help back then?_ Her racing thoughts came to a halt with Yang’s outburst and when she looked up Blake could swear she heard her heart break. Desperation, pain and sense of loss was all she could see on the blonde’s face, her eyes filled with new tears and mouth pleading for something, anything. That was all Blake could take, and so she stood up from her chair, rounded the table and hugged Yang as tight as she possibly could, trying as hard as she could to make it seem, like the world didn’t end. Like she was fine, and all is going to be well. Almost immediately she felt Yang cling to her and start crying, burying her face in her hair.

Coco stood in silence, watching Blake envelop Yang in a hug and the blonde break down into it. She was quiet honestly stunned. She expected Yang to have issues with her missing arm, phantom pain or some other issues she was sure amputees experienced but she had no idea about. And if her assumptions about Yang being a veteran were true maybe some PTSD. During all her years helping people, helping Blake and Fox and Velvet, she learned that depression was rarely logical.  She hoped for some silly reason she could dismiss, show Yang how wrong, and focused on the wrong things she was. But damn. Almost killing your own mother? That was one of the cases that warranted feeling like shit. Of course they lacked context for now, which could change everything (another lesson from the past) but it was much worse than Coco hoped for. How do you help someone get over something like that? Add to that the missing limb, and whole gallery of other problems the blonde surely had and Coco was starting to feel a little lost. Quick glance toward Blake awarded her with silently mouthed ‘drink’ by the raven haired girl. _Good idea._ Coco thought as she made her way to the kitchen. She knew exactly what to make, and where Blake kept her precious tea supplies.

Blake, quietly rocked Yang back and forth, one hand holding her back tight, the other skimming through Yang’s hair allowing her to cry. Once she felt the blonde’s sobs quiet down a bit she risked pulling back just a bit.

“Yang? Hey, how about we move to the couch? Coco is making something warm to drink. You can lie down. Can we do that?” she gently asked, getting only a slight nod in return.

They made their way into the ‘living room’ part of the apartment, located behind the kitchen. It was furnished with a comfy looking couch, a matching armchair, an oblong coffee table in front of the couch, and a flat TV on the wall facing the couch. There was a singular door that led to a rather spacious balcony with two wicker chairs and a matching wicker table on it.

Blake carefully led Yang towards the couch her hand around the blonde’s shoulders, with Yang clinging with her left arm to Blake’s blouse not letting go even when they sat down and Yang immediately squirmed to Blake’s side trying to push as close as she could. They sat in silence with only Yang’s sniffling or hiccups breaking it from time to time.

By the time Coco made her way to them with 3 cups of freshly made herbal tea, Yang was much calmer, just sitting on the couch with Blake’s arm wrapped around her staring blankly into space. Coco sat down in the chair facing the coffee table and locked her eyes with Blake, raising her brow with a silent question. Blake nodded in response and turned her head towards Yang.

“Yang?” Blake asked with a gentle voice, getting no response from the blonde she gently shook her arms with her hand, “Hey, Yang? Coco made some tea, drink some please.”

Yang shook her head and eyed the mug sitting on the table in front of her. It smelled very alluring, so she tried unclenching her fist from Blake’s blouse. It took her a few moments, her hand going stiff from her clenching it so hard for a while now. Yang could never imagine that a sip of warm tea could feel so heavenly. It soothed her strained throat like a balm. While it tasted a bit weird for Yang’s taste, it was too good for her to be bothered by it. They all spent the next few moments quietly sipping their teas.

 

Coco sat on the armchair observing hot swirling liquid, trying not to focus too much on the very familiar feeling in her chest. _Am I doing the right thing? Am I making it worse? Can I even help her?_ Those were the thoughts Coco was more than familiar with. When she found and took in Blake, she knew nothing. She tried to help as much as she could. But she made mistakes. And it was Blake that paid for them. The worst being the indirect reason for HIM finding her. _Hell was paved with good intentions._ Was the thing she used to think to herself while desperately trying not to let her guilt consume her. Was she actually making more harm than good? It took her years to get where she was with Blake. Could she have actually slowed Blake’s progress down? Would Blake have been able to put it all behind her faster if Coco didn’t butt in? Getting around things like that. This guilt she felt every time something went wrong was a battle on its own.

Fox was a different story. She was older, more experienced. Volunteering at the foundation that helped veterans gave her some knowledge. When she started spending time with him at the meetings it was innocent at first. But the more they talked during meetings and later outside of them, the more they clicked together. When she finally realized how much she cared for the blind man, a whole new type of guilt settled in her gut.

_Am I taking advantage of him? He’s blind, he went through hell. Should we stop?_

She tried ignoring it at the start but it only got worse. She convinced herself she was distracting him from making progress. That he was getting worse, that he could do better without her. So she distanced herself. It wasn’t until one night she got called to the bar with a message that a blind man showed up claiming he knew her and was asking for her, that they finally sat down and talked. With Coco actually crying, which was of course a tightly guarded secret because, well, because Coco does not cry, obviously.

And so she sat in Blake’s living room, sipping tea, feeling tentacles of guilt trying to crawl their way into her heart again. She shook it off, knowing full well it will come back sooner or later, and focused on the blonde sitting on the couch and thought about how to tackle the problem at hand.

Blake was almost nauseous. Her gut wrenched and twisted into knots. _Jesus Christ, is this how it feels? Is this what Coco had to go through with me?_  She was terrified. She had no idea what to do. Her heart felt as if it’s going to pop out of her chest and get ripped apart by fear and a feeling she long thought she put past her. Guilt. Blake was a survivor. She should know what to do. Understand how Yang felt. She should be able to do all she needed, say all the right things. But as soon as things got real, as soon as she heard Yang break down when Coco was opening the case she froze. Fear and uncertainty paralyzing her completely. She should have been better. Should have done more. The problem was that Yang was like Blake all those years ago. Broken to pieces, grounded to dust. Blaming herself for everything and not allowing any worth to be placed in her. Blake knew exactly how it felt to feel unworthy of anything. HE made sure that she did. How laughable was Blake’s audacity to think she can help anyone? Almost 8 years of healing. Of putting her past behind her. Of getting rid of every single part of him left in her. And it’s still not enough. She couldn’t help Yang. All she could is make things worse.

_NO! That’s him talking again. I am better. I am stronger. I want to and I can help her. It’s okay to be afraid. This time I have a reason to be strong. I have to be, because somebody else needs it! I am not alone. Yang is not alone. We are not alone._

Blake looked up and blinked away tears that threatened to spill. She was done feeling guilty. That’s what Pyrrha made her promise after their nightmare. Blake spent weeks apologizing to Pyrrha, until the angelic readhead finally, with some advice from Coco, made her realize that it was ok. They all survived and all is going to be well. None of them were guilty of anything. Only HIM.

Blake straightened her back a bit with a new resolve, momentarily stopping the hand that was drawing circles on Yang’s back. _I will help her and we will be ok!_

“It was a nightmare,” Yang’s quiet raspy voice broke the silence in the room. Blake’s and Coco’s eyes snapped to the blonde.

“I-I was having a nightmare. My mother tried to wake me up, but I was so deep inside it I didn’t even feel it. It was my father that got me awake finally and she… She was just lying there trying to get my hand off h-her,” Yang’s voice started shaking and she brought her palm to her mouth to snuff sobs. Single tear made its way down Yang’s cheek.

“It’s okay Yang, you are doing great. Take as long as you have to,” Blake’s voice was calm and collected. Coco’s mouth twitched up a bit.

“I took it off earlier that day. I don’t even remember why. I was supposed to be sleeping with it. Summer was saved by dumb luck. Coco, if I had it on I would have choked her… or broke her neck. I can’t wear it. I can’t use something so amazing to hurt people. I never deserved it in the first place. It was a gift meant to help me heal. But I can’t… I’m not right. What if I wear it and something like that happens? It will end in a tragedy. Someone else should have gotten it. Someone who deserves it and will use it for what it was designed,” Yang said, voice devoid of emotion. She was so spent. So tired.

“I think, that the person that needs it the most already has it,” Blake said turning a bit towards Yang. Her knees were brushing Yang’s thighs. The blonde slowly turned her head towards Blake.

“Haven’t you heard what I said, Blake? I won’t use it. It’s not right and it can only lead to even more misery,” She said looking Blake in the eye.

“I think Blake is right, Yang. It’s yours and I think you are not being noble in the slightest, taking it away from yourself, but you are also being disrespectful,” Coco interjected, no malice in her voice. This was a delicate moment, but she understood that she had to retain her point, even if it made her ‘the bad cop’. Coco knew she could do it, especially now that Blake seemed to be back to her usual calm self.

“How can you two say that after all I just tol-,“ Yang started but Blake put a hand on her shoulder and cut her off.

“Because now we know, Yang. You are not at your parents’, and now I know that if something like a nightmare ever happens to you I have to be careful. And Coco knows as well, and you can be very well certain that if something ever happens, she will make sure that everybody is all right. Even if it means body tackling you to the ground or something subtle like that,” Blake said, earning ‘Watch it, Belladonna’ from Coco and an incredulous look from Yang.

“Yang. This is serious. Neither one of us is going to ignore it, or make small of it. We wanted to know what was bothering you. You were just too much of a mystery. And you didn’t exactly give us much to go on. Now we do, and we understand. Believe me. Both Blake and I have been through some serious shit and we would never take anything like this lightly. So trust us when we are telling you: it’s okay, because we know,” Coco explained, while straightening her jacket. Yang gave her an unsure look, like she couldn’t comprehend what exactly Coco was saying.

“I get it, Yang. I get how running away seems like such a good, tempting idea. I used to do it a lot myself. Run away from people, from problems, from responsibilities. The problem is that it only creates an illusion of distance. It doesn’t fix anything. It doesn’t make anything better. It just slightly extends the moment that you will be confronted by all of it. And it allows all your problems to grow and magnify, so when they do catch up, and trust me they will, they will bury you alive. So do what I failed to do for years, Yang. Stop running. It will be scary, terrifying even and it will be hard. But it will get better. And you don’t have to do it alone.  We are here, both of us, and we want to help,” Blake used her thumb to wipe a tear that was forming in the corner of Yang’s eye. Coco was trying and failing to stay serious and not to show the proud smile while listening to Blake. Yang was looking from Blake to Coco not sure at all how to react to all that was being said. “Hey, don’t worry. There is no rush. Now we know, and now you know as well. I am sure you are exhausted and we all need a good night’s sleep. We can talk about things when you rest and are ready to talk about it,” Blake continued with a smile. She prompted Yang to stand up, and Coco stood up as well. She led Yang to her room and helped her change into the t-shirt that became her pajamas.

“Hey, Blake?” Yang called out to the raven haired girl before she left the room.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks. For everything today. I-I don’t think I could have gotten through it without you.”

“It’s okay Yang. I am here if you ever feel like you need somebody, just remember that, ok?”

“Thanks. Also can you tell Coco I’m sorry for snapping at her like that?”

“I will, but I doubt you have to apologize for something like that. It was pretty hard on all of us.”

“Hey, Blake?”

“Yes, Yang?”

“You think we could maybe… talk tomorrow?”

“If you feel like it, then of course.”

“Good night, Blake.”

“Good night, Yang.”

Blake closed the door to Yang’s room and promptly turned around. Marching through her dining area, she ignored Coco who was propped on the table eyeing her carefully, and quickly made her way towards the bathroom. Once inside she barely made it to the sink before her breathing got heavy, hands started shaking and tears started streaming down her cheeks. She propped herself on the sink and stood there sobbing quietly.

“Oh, honey,” Coco’s voice reached her from the bathroom entrance. “You did so good today, kitten. I am so proud of you.”

Blake felt Coco’s hands turn her around, and she immediately fell into her hug, crying into brunette’s shoulder, while Coco gently brushed her hair.

“It’s so hard, Coco. So, so hard,” Blake shook violently.

“I know, baby. I know it is,” Coco’s response was muffled by Blake’s hair. ”But we can do this. Together.”

“Yeah. Together.”


	8. Un/lucky break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another problematic chapter. I thought it would be half decent since I managed to write it pretty fast, but when I reread it, I was apaled. Even after rewriting it I am not the biggest fan of it but I guess it will do the job of leading into some interesting stuff :D. As always enjoy, comment and thanks for reading!

Yang woke up, and immediately groaned. Her whole body felt heavy and strained. For few moments she laid in bed trying to shake off the grogginess, but remembering last night quickly sobered her up. A flood of emotions swallowed her suddenly. She wasn’t sure how long she just laid there watching the ceiling, trying to calm herself down. It was out. Coco and Blake knew. Of course there were still things she kept to herself. Irrelevant things nobody had to know. At least that was what she was telling herself. But they knew. _What now?_  Yang tried to slow down her stampeding mind. Will they force her to wear it? But they said all those things. And she really wanted to believe them. But she couldn’t help feeling like they didn’t tell her the truth. Like the moment she went to sleep they stayed and talked about her behind her back. Like all of yesterday were just sweet words. Playing pretend. She hated herself for ever thinking like this, especially when she thought back at how much both of the girls did for her, but this irrational fear was so deeply rooted, entangled with the guilt inside her, that she couldn’t help it.

The blonde slowly dragged her feet of the bed and looked at the clock on the night stand. Her brows shot up as she saw it show 1:47 pm. She slept almost 12 hours. She couldn’t remember when the last time she slept for so long was. She couldn’t even remember if she had any nightmares during the night. It took her a while to notice the smell coming from outside the door.  Light smell of fish and herbs made her stomach grumble, realizing she was starving. She hesitated only for a second before she went out.

“Well, hello there. I was hoping you would get up by now. Otherwise food would have gotten cold,” Blake said, eyeing her from above the book she was reading at the table, cup of steaming tea in her hand. “Slept well?”

Yang eyed Blake for few moments taking in the brunette before her. Blake’s tone was casual, her lips curled in a gentle smile. All of this contrasted with slightly baggy eyes, and her slumped posture. Even while sitting and seemingly relaxing herself over a book, Blake looked tired. Yang started to wonder if the brunette slept at all, while she was passed out in her bed for twelve hours.

“I slept like a rock. I don’t remember sleeping that much in a while,” Yang’s response was followed by a long yawn.

“Glad to hear it. Go freshen up and I will prep your meal.” Concealing her own yawn behind her hand Blake got up and made her way towards the kitchen. Yang pondered for a second asking her about it but she thought any conversations will probably go better when she’s more awake and not on the verge of starving to death.

Humming with content while setting the fork on an empty plate Yang sat back on her chair. She wasn’t the biggest fish eater, but damn did Blake know how to make it taste amazing. One of the things Yang actually managed to learn about the brunette during her stay at the apartment was that Blake was an amazing cook, even if her menu consisted mainly of fish and tea. It was so much better than any of her army rations she was so used to.  A substantial breakfast like that helped Yang to distract herself from her post sleep anxiety build up. She quietly sipped her coffee while observing Blake who was reading in silence. _Here goes nothing,_ she thought to herself.

“So, I was going to ask if you slept well as well, but…” Yang started, drawing her finger over the rim of the cup.

Blake gave no sign that she heard the blonde and continued her reading for few moments, before sighing heavily and putting the book down. She gave Yang a tired look and smiled weakly.

“Yeah, I couldn’t really fall asleep you know,” She started quietly. “I was just lying in bed thinking a bit, and before I realized it was already morning.”

Yang felt the weight of their night conversation tugging on her heart. She didn’t even think about the fallout.  She couldn’t, she thought about everything else and really it was beyond her capacity, thinking about anything other than the conversation that was going on at that moment. But now, after sleeping and eating there was nothing stopping her anymore. She had to consider what that conversation meant for Blake, Coco and herself. Now they all knew, they met at least some of Yang’s demons. She didn’t have it in her to hope for anything, even if she desperately wanted them to understand. To not judge her, and maybe even help her.

Help. That was something she didn’t consider being worthy of. But what was it that both Coco and Blake said to her yesterday? That they were there for her. That they understood. That they wanted to help. Was it truly possible that Yang finally had found a place for herself? Were they right? Could she be helped? Did she deserve enough to even think about getting better?

“Yang?” a delicate voice pulled her out of her thoughts.

“Huh? Yes? Sorry, I got lost in my thoughts,” she responded smiling weakly to Blake.

“Yeah, seems to be happening a lot today,” Blake answered, her lips twitching.

“I… sorry. I know I said I wanted to talk with you today, but it’s just all so… new to me,” Yang started playing with the ear of the cup.

“Nothing to be sorry for. Yesterday was… intense, as it usually is with Coco. Just don’t try to force everything at once. If you want to talk, I am always here, Yang.” Blake reached and placed her hand over Yang’s. Even with the tired look, her expression radiated honesty.

“I do. I want to talk, really. You guys deserve that much at least. It’s just hard. I haven’t really had anyone to talk to for a long while,” _More like never_. Yang silenced the thought before it became anything more. “And I still have a hard time with all that’s happened, and the guilt and feeling like shit,” Yang’s response was quiet, as she tried to focus on Blake’s hand over her own.

“It’s okay to feel lost. For now I think the most important part is that we all actually took the first step. And that you are finally able to rest properly,” Blake squeezed her hand.

Yang tensed up. So Blake knew about her troubles sleeping? She never said anything, but then again Blake was pretty quiet and private for the most part. Maybe she just wanted Yang to figure it out on her own or something.

“You knew about my occasional sleeping trouble?” The blonde asked without conviction.

“Yang, let’s, at least, not lie to each other, ok?” Blake asked, her lips tightened a bit. “I know you barely sleep at night, and when you do, you seem to be very restless, bordering on nightmarish,” she continued looking directly at Yang.

“Oh,” Yang raised her head to meet Blake’s gaze. “You knew about that… I guess nothing gets by your double set of ears…” the blonde started but abruptly stopped when she realized what she just said. Her eyes widened with fear, when Blake suddenly let go of her hand, her mouth dropping open.

“You-I… My double… H-how do you know about that?” Blake stuttered. _Yang knows. She actually knows. Or did she just say that? How?_ Blake started panicking a bit. There wasn’t any reason for her to hide her faunus heritage from Yang. If anything, the blonde gave her every reason to trust her with it. After all they met when Yang literally took a beating for another faunus. But nobody ever said fear was rational.

“I’m so sorry, I wasn’t supposed to say anything,” Yang said, curling her palm into a fist.

“H-how did you know? How long?” was all Blake could muster.

The room fell silent for a second, Blake carefully taking in Yang, who began squirming in her chair a bit.

“I knew for a while now. Remember few weeks ago, you were in the bathroom and I was trying to grab one of the books from upper shelf but I dropped some of them on the floor by accident? You jumped out of the shower to see if everything was ok, and as it turns out, you don’t shower with your bow on. So yeah I knew for a while,” Yang said trying a weak smile, but it quickly faded seeing Blake’s shocked expression and her hand slowly moving towards the bow to tug on it delicately.

“Few weeks… Why didn’t you say anything?” Blake asked, her lips forming a tight line, and brows furrowing.

 _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!_ Was all Yang could think.

“I figured you had your reasons, it was none of my business. Besides it’s not like it matters, right?” Yang started pointedly looking at her hand, which was now gripping the edge of the table. When she did get the courage to look up, she noticed Blake’s brow going up with a questioning look. “I mean it matters of course, it’s just I never really told you anything, and you are my host, and you took care of me, and it’s not something I have any right to demand of you about, and…“ Yang’s words started to jumble up the more she spoke, but it was interrupted by Blake.

“And you are rambling. Calm down and take a breath,” Blake said, her expression becoming softer. With a heavy sigh, she put her hands on the bow and quickly took it off, freeing her cat ears. Sighing happily, she wiggled her ears a bit, before opening her eyes and looking back at Yang, noting her unsure expression. Noticing the other girl twitch a bit in her seat and open her mouth to say something, she quickly raised her hand to stop the blonde.

“It’s fine Yang. If anything I should be the one apologizing. I never really did it for any concrete reasons. Oum knows I had all the proof I needed, when you tried to help Velvet and ended up here, that you were not prejudiced. It’s just… this bow has been with me for years now. It helped me a lot and I guess I got used to it enough that it became an automatic response to anyone that I was unfamiliar with. Even though I know it’s cowardly, it’s just… Life is hard enough without all the racism and people being morons, you know?” Blake blinked with a smile towards the blonde.

 “It’s not cowardly. I get it. Nobody has any right to judge you for anything other than you being you,” Yang spoke quietly. “I just want you to know, that you don’t have to wear it inside, unless you want to. Obviously.”

Blake’s only response was a smile, and a quick twitch of one of her cat ears. Yang smiled back and decided on the spot to try and actually talk this time.

“It-it wasn’t just what happened with my mother you know,” she started and cringed immediately, after realizing how out of nowhere that had to sound.

_Real. Fucking. Smooth. Well done Xiao-Long. Your conversational skills are as always, unparalleled._

“Sorry, it just came out,” Yang started eyeing Blake but the cat faunus only smiled and nodded for the blonde to continue.

“It’s…. You know how I don’t do well with crowds on our walks? It’s not really the people that bother me. It’s the noise. Ever since I got back home everything became too loud. At first it was someone listening to music too loudly or the TV that irritated me. But soon, smaller things started bothering me. It got to the point where even rustling of the leaves, and somebody breathing or eating drove me crazy. I started having nightmares and it was bad. After I… after the incident with mom, I was going to run away. But I couldn’t make myself. I naively thought that maybe it was going to be ok. Maybe it will all pass. But then one day, few weeks after, when I started using my prosthetic back, Ruby was reading some comic book or something,” Yang paused for a second at Blake’s raised brow, a silent question. “Oh right. Ruby is my younger sister, she is… She was very important to me,” Yang swallowed her pained expression.

“Anyways, she was reading a comic book and she was snickering. And it should have been the most adorable sight I have seen, a twenty-two year old woman lying on the floor reading some stupid children’s book laughing her ass off. But back then I actually wanted to rip it out of her hands and tear it to shreds, burn it.” Yang’s expression changed, this time the pain became evident on her face and her fist clenched tightly. Blake immediately put her hand on Yang’s fist, to provide some comfort but she stayed quiet, letting Yang decide whether to stop or continue.

“And I told her to quiet it down, I asked. I tried to hold it together, but when she suddenly laughed a bit louder I just lost it. I started screaming at her to shut up, I don’t know how I got to her but when I looked at her, she was so scared, Blake,” Yang voice started to tremble at the memory. She still saw her sister’s face, filled with tears and fear, in her nightmares. “That’s what shook me out of it, made me realize that I was towering above my sister with my prosthetic arm raised to hit her. And she was just sitting there terrified, tears in her eyes and not even trying to cover herself.” Tears were rolling down Yang’s cheek as she started sobbing quietly. Blake immediately took her chair and set it right next to Yang, so she could wrap her in a sideways hug, the blonde immediately hid her face in the crook of Blake’s neck and sobbed for a while. It took Yang a few minutes to get her bearings back, but she was determined to continue.

“Once I realized what happened, I ran off to my room but by then, I knew I had to leave. Hurting two people closest to me, I just couldn’t look them in the eye. And I definitely didn’t want to risk hurting them again. It’s better for everyone this way. I’m away and I’m not a burden or a risk to anyone,” Yang said sniffing loudly. Blake only held her tighter with one arm, stroking her hair with the other. “At least that’s what I thought, but now I’m just a burden to you and Coco.”

“Yang, don’t,” Blake said sharply. “You are not a burden to anyone. You are just lost. And scared.  But that doesn’t make you a burden. Everyone needs help sometimes. And everyone deserves it. Especially a good and kind person like you.”

“How can you say that? How can you both say that? I attacked my mother. I almost attacked my baby sister! How is that kind in anyway? Right now I’m just a pathetic, undeserving charity case for you and Coco. And the only thing I manage to do is bring more problems. She gave me a job which I’m failing at. I thought I could pay you both back for everything that you gave me, but I can’t even do a simple fucking thing right.” Yang turned away from Blake, leaving only her palm on her back. Through it Blake could feel the sobs that shook Yang’s body, as she cried silently. “And all because I’m a coward, who is afraid of using an arm made especially for her.”

Blake took a deep breath, and stood up. She rounded Yang and knelt in front of her, taking her left hand into her both.

“Yang, you are not pathetic, you are not a burden or a charity case. You are somebody that was hurt, beyond anything we can imagine, and you are strong enough to, despite all of this, care about your family, to still think about them first. It takes a lot of strength to do that. To be selfless, not selfish. Even if you don’t believe in yourself, I still believe in you,” Blake said looking up at Yang through her eyes, now misty as well.

“But why, Blake?” was all Yang quietly mumbled, but it was enough for Blake to hear.

“Because, Yang. Somebody believed in me when I didn’t, when I needed it the most. And now I am going to do the same thing for you.” Blake’s voice was full of determination. She was done doubting herself. “Because I know you deserve it. And I promise, I will help you see that again.”

To accent her point, Blake wrapped Yang in another hug, with the blonde hugging her back after a while. They stayed like this, in silence, because Yang didn’t how to respond to what Blake said.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to fall apart like that… again,” Yang said after a few minutes. She had to admit that Blake’s presence was very soothing. Everything she did was careful, thought out and gentle.  Having her so close, being able to smell her lavender body wash, feel her velvet hair on her face, helped ground Yang  and calm her raging feelings.

“It’s okay, Yang. You can’t keep all of this bottled up forever. And I know how hard and terrifying opening like that is, but I think it’s good. You have to be honest with yourself and remember you are not alone in this. Me and Coco, we will always listen to you. No judgment. And we will help however we can. Just take it slow, Yang. Baby steps.” Blake pulled away from the hug and smiled when Yang gave her a nod. Blake was about to ask Yang if she wanted something to drink, when the door to the apartment flew open and slim brown-haired woman waltzed in, her arms opened wide and a biggest grin on her face.

“Ladies. I will allow you to acknowledge how amazing I am,” Coco sang, stopping in the middle of the room and putting her fists to her sides, chin raised high. When neither of them answered, she lowered her glasses and looked over each of them. Yang’s puffy red eyes, blushed cheeks. Her slumped shoulders made her seem smaller than she was. Blake seemed to be sleep deprived but otherwise fine. It took Coco few seconds to notice Blake’s cat ears twitching gently. Her brows shot up and she shoot Blake a questioning look, with the brunette only smiling lightly. Clearly Coco missed a whole lot.

“You girls doing all right?” she asked sitting down at the table.

“I think it’s fine now,” Blake said biting her lip. “Yang?”

“Huh? Oh yeah, It’s –I’m fine now. Hi Coco,” Yang said sniffing, and running her thumb over her eyes to wipe off any residual tears.

“Um… hi, you sure you are okay, blondie?” Coco said with slightly worried tone.

“Yeah, I just… We just had a talk and it was harder than I expected. But I’m fine now, thanks.” Yang’s voice was still a bit raspy.

“So what is it exactly we were supposed to acknowledge? And why are you here exactly? And since you are here, would you like something to drink?” Blake asked, heading towards kitchen.

“Water will be fine and excuse me for not making an appointment to visit my friend,” Coco said, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Friend? I barely even know you,” Blake answered, showing her tongue.

“I meant Yang, because really why would I ever hang out with you?” The conversation got a slight chuckle out of Yang, with Coco and Blake soon snickering as well.

“So what’s up, Coco? Why are you so excited?“ Blake asked coming back and handing Coco a water bottle.

“I managed to find and procure a solution to all our problems. Like literally in few days everything will be sorted out and fine. I must say, sometimes my own genius terrifies me slightly,” Coco said grinning widely.

“Oh, Oum. What did you do this time?” Blake asked, rolling her eyes, Yang only managed to lift her brows. “What can this miraculous solution to everything be?”

“Pyrrha is coming back this weekend.“ was the only answer they got, and while It meant almost nothing to Yang, it was clearly big news for Blake who went stiff, cat ears jumping straight up, eyes widening and mouth falling agape.

“I… Pyrrh-seriously?!” Blake managed to stutter some words out. Yang’s raised brow didn’t seem like it would go down any soon. The unexpected visit aside, Coco being Coco was always a wild ride to be around. But the biggest surprise was Blake. The quiet, calm and collected Blake was now all giddy and excited. Like a child who was told she would be going to an amusement or something.

“I swear to god, Coco if you are messing with me I will find you in your sleep and weld your glasses onto your face.” Blake was looking at the brown-haired girl with such a childish expectation, that Yang had to stifle a laugh behind her hand. It was adorable seeing usually very mature faunus acting like this.

“I swear on my designer beret that she really is coming back. Apparently, the opponent she was scheduled to fight with soon, got injured and he won’t recover in time for their fight. So they had to postpone it, and she was allowed to come visit for few days,” Coco explained, her joy made obvious by the smile on her face and the happiness in her voice. Yang silently watched the conversation, fascinated by how entirely different both Coco and Blake became at the mere mention of this Pyrrha person.

“Umm, so anyone gonna tell me who this Pyrrha is? And why are you both giggling like little girls about her coming back?” Yang asked, propping her chin on her fist.

“Oh, right! Sorry, Yang,” Blake said, sheepishly rubbing the back of her head. “Pyrrha is our friend. She is a professional fighter, so she travels a lot, for training, and fights, and tournaments. She is often gone for months at a time. And we just haven’t seen her in a while.  We are just excited that she is coming back.”

“So is she going to beat up our problems to make them go away? ‘Cause I am not sure if her savaging my prosthetic will actually solve anything,” Yang said, earning a loud laugh from Coco and a snicker from Blake.

“No, Yang, she is not going to beat up anyone or anything. It’s just she is… She…,” Blake shrugged her shoulders, not being able to find proper words.

“You will see once you meet her, blondie. She has this thing about her, you know. It’s going to be great!” Coco patted Yang on her shoulder and got up. “I wanna throw a small get together at Corsshares when she comes back. Nothing big, just us and couple other friends. I will clear your schedule for the party, Yang, I want you to meet her.”

Yang nodded in response, trying to think if she really wanted to meet this Pyrrha. Both Blake and Coco seemed to care much about her, and Yang did hear her name dropped a few times before, but she wasn’t sure about getting friendly with other people. She was better off with just Blake and Coco around her.

“Anyways, I’m off. I still need to drop some things off for my mother. Also, Yang, you okay to work today? I can give you a day off if you need it to collect yourself,” Coco asked, taking a sip from her bottle.

“I’m fine, Coco. I will be at work, don’t worry.”

“Okay then, I will come pick you up and we will manage some delivery stuff that needs to be done. We will be at the bar later today. Blake, come by and we can talk party planning for Pyrrha.” Coco directed her shaded gaze towards the brunette.

“Sure, I will be there. Just let me know when you guys are done with your stuff and I will swing by,” Blake responded with a smile. Coco turned around and with a wave made her way out of the apartment. Blake just sat down, smiling to herself. _Pyrrha is coming back. Oum, it will be so nice to have her here. Even if it’s only for few days._

Once Coco left, the rest of the day seemed to drag itself out for Blake. Once Yang left for work, she tried to distract herself with reading but she couldn’t focus and she kept rereading the same page over and over, until she finally gave up. Switching on the TV, she curled up on the couch with a mug of tea, and let her thoughts wander towards the red-headed warrior. It was so long since they last saw each other, and she did miss her friend dearly. Especially now, that they started to get somewhere with Yang, it’s going to be amazing to have Pyrrha around. Just thinking about her was enough for Blake to think that everything will work out just fine. She was content just sitting like that and reminiscing while waiting for Coco to call her to get to Crosshares.

 

 

* * *

 

Yang tugged on the tie keeping her hair together and made sure that she looked presentable in the mirror. She was thankful to finally be in the quiet locker room of the bar. She liked Coco, she really did, even if the short-haired woman scared her sometimes and was mostly unpredictable, but dear god was today’s order run a nightmare. Coco took forever not being able to decide on anything. Yang was sure they spent at least double if not more time on this, than they had to. It also didn’t help how easily annoyed Coco became when she couldn’t agree on something with her suppliers, even if her tearing up poor shopkeepers was really fun to watch, it was still a tiring expedition. Once Yang figured she looked good enough, she made her way to the floor.  


***

It was luck really, or misfortune maybe, that it took this long to happen. Set of coincidences that allowed for two paths that had to cross again at some point, to take so long before they did. An hour into the prep, Yang was asked to fetch some things from storage, which did took her longer than expected, because of course the item she had to retrieve managed to be put in possibly the most inaccessible place. 

“You know, I am pretty sure we don’t need to hide a pack of napkins under a stack of chairs, two boxes of cutlery and what I am pretty sure was a banner of some sort? Somebody has to sort the storage room out,” Yang whined to June, throwing the napkins to a boy that was setting up some tables. She didn’t notice that in her absence a new patron has arrived, and situated himself at the very end of the bar, next to the wall. She also didn’t notice how he perked up from his drink when he heard her voice, and how his brows shot up with surprise.

“Xiao –Long?” Upon hearing this, Yang froze, holding one of the glasses, which June was just wiping and handing to her to put on the shelves, in her hand.  Slowly turning around, she took in the man sitting before her with disbelief on her face. Dark brown skin, hair colored like copper. His scar riddled face seemed to be struck with the same shocked expression that Yang had on hers.

“F-Fox?” The sound of shattering glass was drowned in the silence that followed.


	9. War stories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holy hell I am scared to post this. It is by far the longest chapter (I really didn't want to split it into two chapters) and honestly it was never planned. I never wanted to tell Yang's flashback in detail, but as I was writting earlier chapters, bit by bit I put together the war story I actually liked. 
> 
> Next 2-3 chapters are gonna be equally scary if note more since we are getting close to finishing ACT II of this story.
> 
> As always, thanks to my dear bat friend for helping me bounce some ideas around and proof read this chap. 
> 
> Enjoy the chapter!

_She could feel metal filings digging into her back, odor of grease filled her nostrils._

_The only thing in her mind was her irrational fear made rational by her past that was towering over her._

_The only thing she could hear was the sound of metal cutting through air._

_Helpless and unable to move she could only wait. Wait for the pain that was about to come. With eyes squeezed shut she waited for the inevitable._

_It didn’t come._

_When she opened her eyes she was surrounded by cascades of crimson, two emeralds, shining and vibrant, filled her vision, and for a split second she thought that everything was going to be all right._

_Something warm dripped on her cheek and her side simultaneously, she reached with her fingers to check what stained her pale skin, her eyes widening over the realization what the scarlet liquid was…_

Blake woke up suddenly, her breathing hastened. It took her a mere moment to figure out she had dozed off on the couch, TV was still on but Blake didn’t really notice it. She closed her eyes and slowed down her breaths.

It was a weird feeling, having this dream that used to be a nightmare after so long was an “interesting” feeling from the lack of a better term.  It used to wake her up at night for weeks after the incident, but Pyrrha helped her make peace with it. She smiled to herself over how easily it was to brush it off now, after all this time. Sign of progress. That’s what it was.

_Why now, though? Why did it come back now?_  The faunus pondered. _Is it because of Yang’s situation? Is her suffering along with Pyrrha’s sudden return bringing things back?_ She had no idea. It was all new to her. Being the one helping, instead of receiving, was confusing. She always found Coco’s sudden outbursts and getting annoyed over small things bothersome. _Why couldn’t she just calmly let things go, and get some patience?_ That’s what she used to think. Over time she got used to her antics. But now Blake understood. The frustration, the feeling of helplessness, the guilt. It all made sense. Helping people was hard and Coco did the best she could with what she had. The raven-haired girl felt a sudden wave of warmth over her heart at the thought of her friend. _It’s going to be fine. We can do this. With all of us here…_

Her train of thought was suddenly interrupted by the sound of her scroll’s ringing.

 

* * *

 

 

“Careful!” June exclaimed, after Yang suddenly bumped into her. When she heard the glass shatter on the floor, she turned around and reached to grab the blonde by the shoulder, but as she was about to do so, Yang ran towards the kitchen door.   


“What the hell? Yang?” the bartender called after her but she was gone. June started to make her way towards the door to find the blonde and ask her what happened, but she was stopped by someone calling her name.

“June? Is everything all right? Is she okay?” Fox asked getting up from the bar stool he was occupying.

“I don’t know. She ran back. Do you know what happened, Mr. Alistair?” the girl asked, walking towards Fox.

“For the last time, it’s Fox. Can you please fetch Coco for me? It’s urgent, I need to speak with her ASAP. Please tell her it’s me and it’s about Yang,” he said with his calm voice. June eyed him for a second before throwing a quick “okay” towards him and making her way to the kitchen. One thing she learned after working at Crosshares was that whenever Coco or her friends were involved, it was best to let them deal with whatever it was that was happening.

Coco was deep in writing her mother an essay about how hosting a party with circus animals at the bar was a bad idea, when she heard a knock on the door. What did surprise her was that June popped her head in without waiting for being allowed to, earning her a risen eyebrow, which then quickly turned into a frown. Most of the employees at the bar knew better how to handle most of the situations, so for her to be here it had to be something either serious or completely moronic, to the point where nobody knew what to do.

“Excuse me, boss, Mr. Alistair asked me to come get you. It’s about Yang?” June said, not entering the office.

Serious it was.

“What happened? Is everyone okay?” Coco quickly stood up and made her way around the desk.

“Yeah, it’s just that Mr. Alistair told me to come and get you. Yang dropped a glass and then just ditched me and ran towards the back. No idea what happened,” June answered, trotting closely behind Coco.

“Neptune, did you see Yang?” Coco asked the blue-haired boy wiping the cutlery.

“Yeah, she went into the lounge, I think? She almost ran me over,” he exclaimed with a shrug of his shoulders.

Nodding, Coco, with June on her tail, made her way towards the bar. Once they were both out she immediately rounded the bar and went towards the rusty-haired man.

“Babe, what happened?” she asked, putting her palm on his shoulder.

“I-I think I know her, Coco,” Fox answered as he put his hand over hers.

“… You what?”

“I know her. I think we served together. I think I may have startled her when I called out to her?” The answer was weak, and his voice sounded unconvinced but Coco was too busy trying to wrap her head around the news.

“I think we should go after her,” Fox continued, standing up.

Coco was battling with her thoughts. The revelation itself was unexpected, but its implications were much more troubling. There was something big here, but she chose to ignore it for now. It was easier to take care of the matter at hand than deal with her new unsettling problem. She nodded absentmindedly, taking Fox’s hand and leading him towards the back of the bar.

“Should we call Blake? I think we should call Blake,” Coco asked while they were going through the kitchen. She really did not want to do this alone.

“From what you said, Blake may be able to help her calm down? How about we first check up on Yang and see what happened. Maybe she was just startled a bit.” Fox could feel the tight grip of Coco’s hand, something that betrayed how tense she was. He may have been blind, but he could feel the shift in her demeanor pretty easily. Because, as abrasive and difficult Coco could be, she was always delicate when it came to touch. Especially with him. And she always spoke her mind, always. This time was different, and of course the circumstances would not allow them to deal with it right away. One problem at a time, he told himself. Once they deal with Yang, he will talk with Coco.

Entering the lounge, they paused for a bit and Coco quickly looked around but found no sign of the blonde. The lounge was currently empty, which wasn’t surprising given how everyone was busy with prep time. The room itself was pretty spacious, several armchairs and a couch, surrounding a round coffee table, kitchen niche, a small stove with two burners, and a regular sized fridge. There was also a table near the niche, with four chairs, and some cupboards. On the left wall of the room there were two doors visible. They led to tiny rooms, each furnished with a bed and a small bedside table.

One of the rooms was closed, which got Coco’s attention, since unless somebody occupied them the doors were usually open. She led both of them towards the shut door, and letting go of Fox’s hand, knocked twice on the door.

“Anyone there?” Coco called out. “Yang? Are you there?”

There was no answer.

Coco tried the door handle, but it was closed from inside.

“Yang, come out! We know you are in there,” she tried again, and again received no answer. “Come one, blondie, open the door.”

“I’m calling Blake,” Coco said to Fox who was leaning on the wall next to the door. He nodded  without a word.

He exhaled, heavily trying to sort out a mess in his head. It caught him completely off guard to meet Yang so suddenly at the bar. He shouldn’t have called out to her. Hell, he was probably one of the last people Yang wanted to see or meet right now.  There was really no reason at all for him not to tell Coco that the Yang she took in with Blake was probably the same one he knew. It quickly became obvious they were the same person, and yet he chose not to say anything.  He did not want to deal with all of this, he didn’t know how. On the other hand he had to admit he was curious as to what happened to her after he left the military. All of this was becoming a rather impressive mess, and he was immensely glad he had both Coco and Blake to help sort everything out. And so he stood there, waiting patiently for Coco to quickly explain to Blake she needed to get here as soon as possible because this was an emergency.

“I’m gonna go get the keys and tell the guys to let Blake in here,” the brown-haired woman said, leaving the room. Fox quietly nodded again, slumping down to sit on the floor.

 

* * *

 

 

Blake quickened her steps, trying hard not to panic. When Coco called, the last thing she expected to hear was an emergency, and that she should get to the bar as soon as possible. What could have possibly happened in those few hours? She really hoped Coco was just messing with her but in the back of her mind she knew her friend sounded serious.

She breezed past the bouncer into the bar and went straight to June. She wasn’t really familiar with the girl but they saw each other often enough to know who the other one was.

“Go right ahead, Ms. Belladonna, they are in the lounge.”

Blake brushed past her and made her way to the back. It took her 20 minutes of almost running to get to the bar. She was never more grateful for her proximity to the establishment. Once she entered the room she paused, her brows shooting up and taking the scene in front of her.  The atmosphere was thick enough to cut through it with a knife. Coco was sitting on the couch, shoulders slumped and eyes focused on her fingers tangled together. Fox on the other hand was sitting near one of the doors, one of his knees propped up with arm resting on top of it. His eyes were closed, and his head was bobbing lightly from one side to the other.

“What happened?” she finally managed to ask.

“Yang recognized Fox, and she freaked out and closed herself in one of the rooms. She’s not responding and won’t open the door. I have a key but we wanted to wait until you got here before we do anything,” Coco said, lifting her arm and letting a chain with two keys dangle from it.

“Wait, what do you mean recognized? You know her?” Blake asked Fox.

“I can’t really be sure, I only heard her voice but judging by her reaction I think… yeah, I know her. Look, can you just try and talk to her to see if you can make her come out and talk to us?” Fox rose back up. Blake looked back at Coco, who was watching her quietly. It all felt wrong somehow. But she faced the door and knocked few times.

“Yang? It’s me, Blake. Are you okay?” The only answer Blake got was silence. “Yang, please come out. Or let me in. We don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. Just please open the door.”

Minutes passed, and neither of them moved. With just Blake calling out for Yang to open the door and let her in. And with each passing second Blake’s nerves grew. She was so focused on the door she failed to notice Coco who got up and made her way to the cat fuanus.  She jumped, when she felt a hand on her shoulder, and twisted around to face Coco. She eyed the brown-haired girl’s serious face expression.

“Move away, I am opening the door,” Coco exclaimed.

“Coco, wait, just give her a moment, please.” Blake’s fingers wrapped around Coco’s key-holding hand.

“I think we should wait a bit as well, Coco.”  Fox put his hand on her shoulder.

Coco threw him a glare, which he obviously couldn’t see, and yanked her hand from Blake’s.

“Both of you shut up. If Yang knows Fox I want to hear about it,” she said strictly, making both Blake and Fox take a step back. She put a key in the lock and twisted it. The lock opened with a pop, and she pushed the door open. The interior of the room was dark. It had no windows and neither the ceiling light nor the lamp on the night stand were on.

Between the bed and the nightstand sat a curled up silhouette. Knees brought high, with her arm resting on top of them, head lowered.  The cascade of golden hair seemed to shimmer in the dim light of the lounge making its way through the door, enveloping her like a blanket.  She made no move or a sound to hint that she heard or noticed the door open.

“Yang?” Coco’s voice lost some of its sharpness. Again there was no response from the blonde. She stepped into the room, wanting to make her way towards the girl but an arm on her shoulder stopped her. She turned around and looked in the face of her blind boyfriend. His expression was determined, so she let him go through. He carefully made his way with one hand on the wall, and when his foot bumped into the nightstand lightly, he slid down the wall and sat, facing the bed, with Yang curled up on his left.

“Long time no see, Captain Branwen,” he accented the last word slightly, gesturing to the other two women to enter. This seemed to finally jerk Yang back to reality. As her head snapped up, she gazed at the man, her eyes wide as saucers.

 

* * *

 

 

When she heard her last name called, in the voice she hasn’t heard for so long, Yang’s brain shut down. After the first shock passed after few moments, her body by itself took her out to the back of the bar. She didn’t even notice almost running into Neptune. Her legs led her into the empty lounge and straight through it to one of the small bedrooms it was connected to. She didn’t remember shutting the door and locking it, slumping on the floor in the tight space between the nightstand and the bed. The only thing that her brain could do at the moment was desperately fight the reality of what was happening, because it couldn’t be happening, right? There was no way this was Fox, there was no way he recognized her and called her out by her real name. There was no way somebody would surely go get Coco, who in turn would certainly call Blake. There was no way any of that was happening because that would mean it was all over. In reality, there was really no way that Yang would not recognize the person Coco was describing as her boyfriend few times. Because how many blind, scarred face, rusty-haired ex-soldiers named Fox could there be in Vale. But Yang was by now pretty adept in the art of denial so she managed to convince herself that there was no way it was him.

The truth was: It was over. Yang was finally done. There were no more emotions, no more fear and no more tears. She had nothing left. There was nothing she could do. No way to weasel herself out of this situation, no way to lie her way out. How naïve she was, thinking the war was over, when really it just waited for the right opportunity to slap her in the face.

Fox was here and he surely hated her. How could he not, when it was her fault that his sight was taken away? Once Coco found out, she surely would not be able to forgive Yang for what she did. Blake being Coco’s best friend was also going to stand by her. And Yang couldn’t blame any of them. She deserved all of it.

The shock that Yang felt after Fox called her by her mother’s name sobered her up a bit. _Why_? _Why would he do that_?  
She looked at him, barely being able to discern his features in the dim lighting of slightly opened door. She didn’t even bother to look at Coco and Blake standing at the end of the room. The silence was deafening, it roared through the room but nobody broke it. Yang had no words to give. Coco and Blake had no idea what to say. Fox seemed to be lost in thought, playing with the fingers of his hand.

“Yang, what happened to you?” Fox finally broke the silence. Yang kept staring at him, barely able to keep up with what he was saying, even though his voice was calm and soft. She still had trouble believing that this situation was real, so she gave no answer.

“Yang, please… Tell me what happened to you, to our unit. Please, I need to know what happened to everyone. What happened to Hornet?” Coco was taken aback by how desperate Fox sounded. It wasn’t the calm and soft voice she was so used to. It was pleading and strained. “Please.”

“There is no more Hornet.” Yang couldn’t recognize her own voice. She didn’t even mean to say that out loud. She didn’t want to think about that. She buried it deep inside after she came back home, to Patch. But he deserved to know. It didn’t matter anymore. It was all over anyway.

“You and I are all that’s left.” Her eyes, now used to the darkness registered the sudden stiffness in his posture, his fingers froze and head tilted up a bit. His brows shot up and lips formed a tight line.

Sudden click startled both Blake and Coco, even more than the light suddenly filling the room. Coco blinked a few times, her eyes adjusting to the sudden change. Once she could see again, she threw a glance towards Yang, and inhaled sharply once her eyes laid on the blonde. Her face was a mask. A mask so completely washed from any emotion it seemed unnatural. Her eyes were tarnished and unmoving, pointed towards the floor. Even the movement of her hand she used to turn on the lamp was stiff.  It was bad. Out of everything that happened till now, this was the worst and Coco couldn’t bring herself to say anything. She heard a muffled cracking sound and realized it was Blake’s knuckles, her fists clenched so hard they were almost as white as her coat. It was bad.

“I volunteered the moment I turned 18. The war was still in its early stages back then,” Yang spoke in a monotone voice. Fox deserved to know, but Coco and Blake also needed to hear this. “Two years. It took two years, some dumb luck on my part and I was somehow promoted to a captain. I guess having friends in high positions in military intelligence didn’t hurt. As a part of newly approved military project, sort of special forces unit was created, it was supervised by an intelligence officer. One of the units was called Hornet and I was for some goddamn reason put in charge of it. Our unit consisted of me, my second in command, Fox Alistair, Sage Ayana, Scarlet David and two Atleesian specialists in training: Emerald Sustari and Mercury Black.”

Fox was sure his grimace was visible at the mention of his old comrades. He hasn’t spoken to any of them for over 3 years and he prayed that he misunderstood what Yang said earlier about him and her being the only ones left.

“After few months of training as a unit we started being sent on missions, and surprisingly it worked well for a while. For over a year we did all kinds of stuff all over the place. On one of those missions Fox got wounded…” Yang’s voice hitched. “It was…”

“Yang,” Fox interrupted, he didn’t want to do this again. “I know what happened to me.  I want to know what happened to you guys. Please…”

Yang seemed to curl up and try to make herself as small as possible. She was glad he gave her an out. One less painful memory to recall. But it didn’t change anything. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and continued.

“Remember, what we discussed shortly before you were wounded? What job Goodwitch gave you and me?” she asked him flatly.

“Yeah.” He turned his head slightly towards Coco and Blake who were still standing frozen near the door to the room. “A mole hunt.”

“A mole hunt,” Yang repeated quietly. “After we proved the unit worked, even better than everybody expected, they decided to establish other units like ours. We did few missions with bunch of them, and it worked great. Until it didn’t. After few…less successful missions, the military intelligence became concerned about a traitor in the midst of those newly created units. Too many information leaks, too many close calls. Since it was becoming more and more clear that the mole was in one of our sister units, Glynda Goodwitch, our ‘handler’, tasked me and Fox with investigating all of us. It was all top secret and nobody but us was to be trusted with this. We never found anything, and after Fox was gone I was left alone with it.” Fox shifted uncomfortably and Coco couldn’t stop the frown forming on her face, she glanced at Blake and noticed how stiff she was, all tensed up and unmoving. If not for the ears under her bow, twitching violently and making it bounce around, Blake could have very well been a statue. Yang’s flat voice made Coco snap her head back to the blonde.

“After you were out, everything was going as it used to. We went on missions, I made sure to keep a close eye on the other units but found nothing was amiss. And then almost after 2 years, few months before the official armistice was signed, I found the moles.”

Fox straightened his posture, the words barely getting out of his clenched jaw. “Moles? As in plural?”

“As in plural… But it was too late. I was too late.” Yang rested her forehead on her arm, her voice becoming muffled.

“Goodwitch gave us a mission. We were to help extract an Atleesian courier, and escort them safely to Vale. It was a joint operation between us, and a unit from Atlas. We were also joined by an intelligence agent named Qrow, who was a liaison between us and the Atleesians. The Atlas unit was led by a specialist, the famous Winter Schnee.” For the first time since she started her story, an emotion could be heard in Yang’s voice. Coco cringed at the seeping venomous tone with which Yang said that name. It was surprising really that the acid hasn’t burned through the floor, walls and everyone present. She shared a concerned look with Blake.

“Atlas tried to pretend like our war didn’t concern them, but it was about dust, so it was surprising that they didn’t just wipe Vacuo and us from the map. Whatever this courier, I think her name was Ciel Soleil or something, was transporting had to be important enough to warrant sending the Schnee and her goons after it. I was leading the mission, given how Hornet was familiar with the territory and all, though technically Qrow was the one in charge. It was going fine, we went into the combat zone without any problems and we got the courier, it was going fine until it wasn’t.” Yang went quiet for a while, Fox was all tensed up, turned towards the blonde, seemingly forgetting about Coco and Blake, who tried their best to be as quiet and as still as possible.

Minutes have passed, and Coco was about to snap, because while her patience usually ran short, she was all out of it today. She started opening her mouth to ask Yang to continue when the blonde spoke. Her voice still flat and emotionless seemed a bit shakier this time.

“It was an ambush, they were waiting for us. They allowed us to pick up the courier, and waited until we are gonna be scrambling to start heading back. When the fighting started, it became clear who the moles were. The moment the first shot was fired, I saw Emerald stabbing Scarlet in the back, Sage saw it too but Mercury was on him the moment he jumped to help Scarlet. I was pinned behind one of the trucks with Qrow, but when I saw Sage slumping to his knees, I lost it. I ran at them, but Black and Sustari already started running towards the group of men advancing on us. But I missed it, the only thing I wanted to do was to get to Sage who was crawling towards Scarlet. I saw the trail of bloodied sand he left behind him. For their worth, the Atleesians regrouped pretty swiftly and started fighting back, but I ignored them and Qrow yelling at me to get back. Someone figured that it was a great idea to start using explosives, and that made things really chaotic. Clouds of sand made it impossible to see anything, you could only hear screaming, flying bullets and explosions.” Yang’s breath got shaky, and she took few moments to collect herself.

“I almost made it. I was so close. It was maybe 10 meters left to reach Sage, but something threw me on the truck I was running by. I didn’t recognize him at first, even though he was on the most wanted posters we saw pinned everywhere. Honestly I doubt anyone would expect a serial killer to join a faction in a war, but there he was, Tyrion Callows, stalking towards me, his tail swinging above him, laughing like a fucking lunatic. I honestly didn’t care who he was back then, all I cared about was that he was between me and my wounded teammates so I went for him. I lost my gun, and he didn’t have any. Just a big nasty looking machete. So fucking clichéd, right?” Yang made a sound that was supposed to be laughter, but no one in the room took it as such.

“He was strong, stronger than anyone I ever fought.  I was supposed to be a hand to hand combat specialist but he tossed me around like a fucking ragdoll. He was toying with me. He made sure his knife would only graze, and that his punches always connected. He wanted me in pain, and honestly after few minutes I could barely stand. Broken nose and probably a fractured jaw, few broken ribs, dozens of cuts, that’s how I looked after what probably was like 5 minutes but felt like hours. I knew it was over, I managed to land few good punches, but I was barely conscious and when he finally lunged and pinned me to the truck, I knew that was it. I failed to find the traitors. I failed to save my teammates and I failed to beat this monster.  So I figured, that if I’m gonna go, I am taking this asshole with me. I still had a grenade left. It was in my back sash, so when he was holding me by my throat and swaying his tail in front of my face, I pulled the pin out and dropped it by our feet. He didn’t even flinch, he kicked it under the car and tried to jump away, so I grabbed his tail and held him as hard as I could. Next thing I remember was waking up, my right arm pinned under a flipped truck. I tried to get out but I couldn’t move, just watch as he stumbled towards me, whatever left of his tail, was dripping some disgusting looking purple goo behind him.” Yang’s voice was quiet, but she might have very well been screaming. 

Fox looked like he wanted to punch something, stand up and scream at the same time, but he remained seated next to Yang. Coco was drawing a blank. Just comprehending what Yang was saying was taking all her attention and focus, so she couldn’t notice how Blake started shivering next to her, never taking her eyes off Yang, who was now rubbing her stump with a pained expression.  

“I knew I was done for. He was getting closer and closer, but then I saw her in the corner of my eye. Winter Schnee stood on the dune, looking straight at me with this weird expression on her face. So I dared. I dared to hope, I think I even reached towards her, trying to call for help. And you know what she did? She turned around and went running back to her men. She just fucking ran. They packed themselves to their trucks and left.” Anger and hurt seeped through Yang’s voice.

“She what?” Fox’s eyes were wide, and his mouth hung open.

“That fucking Schnee bitch left us to die, tucked her tail between her fucking legs and ran,” Yang spat out. “I laughed. I don’t know why, Callows was about to chop me to pieces, he smeared his venom all over his machete. But then Qrow appeared. He tackled him and they started to scuffle. I desperately tried to get my arm from under the truck but I almost passed out from pain. It was so quiet all of the sudden. The ambush was over. Atleesians were gone with their courier and I have no idea if all of Callows’s men were killed, or if they ran away. And Sage…” Yang’s voice hitched. “Sage smiled towards me and said that everything is going to be fine.” The blonde dropped her head to her knees, still squeezing her right shoulder tightly.

“I think I passed out at this point, ‘cause the next thing I remember was Qrow, dropping to his knees next to me, saying that it’s all right, that help is on the way. He tried to lift whatever part of the truck was crushing my arm, when I looked away, I saw Tyrion’s body laying on the sand with his own weapon sticking out of his chest. It was over. Help was coming. And Qrow passed out right next to me, I saw his wound, he got stabbed in the side, it was all purple with the venom. Scarlet was dead, Sage was minutes from passing away, Qrow and I probably joining them soon, and the Schnee bitch was driving off into the sunset. All I could do was lay on the sand and cry because I failed. I failed to figure out Emerald and Mercury, I failed to predict the ambush, and I failed to beat Callows. I failed at every single thing that I had to do that day. I…”

“Bullshit!” Everyone jumped at Fox’s sudden exclamation. “It’s not... It’s… We vetted them! Goodwitch vetted them herself. For god’s sake, how is this even possible?! THEY WERE IRONWOOD’S PEOPLE!” Fox jumped to his feet and hit a wall with the side of his fist. “How did they miss this? How the hell did they even get into the specialist training program?!”

Coco was startled. Throughout all her years knowing Fox, and being with him, she never heard him raise his voice like that. Blake just gave up on standing, and slumped down on the edge of the bed, not saying a word.

“I remember checking them myself. They were legit. They were part of the new experimental specialist training program led by SDC military R&D department head, it was all legit,” Fox said with a pleading voice towards Yang. She hasn’t moved from her spot and even now refused to lift her head.

“And that was it. Arthur Watts, the chief of R&D unit. He was working for Salem Fall all this time. They seemed legit because they were. It was Watts that orchestrated this whole thing. And apparently, Salem’s daughter, Cinder, was the one who found Emerald and Mercury when they were kids. Ironwood blew it the moment he trusted Watts with the specialist program.” Yang’s voice, still devoid of all emotions, echoed across the room. The only answer the brown skinned man gave was another strike to the wall.

Fox expected lots of things, when Coco first told him about Yang he figured it was his old captain but the more Coco spoke about how Yang was, the more Fox wished he were wrong, because that was definitely not the woman he came to know and respect.  But now, after hearing all this, he understood. The blame. The guilt. It all started immediately eating at him. He should have been there. If not for this one forsaken mission he could have been there and maybe it would have made a difference. If only he wasn’t weak enough to be discharged from the military. He was about to hit the wall for the third time, overcome with frustration, when a gentle and soft palm enveloped his first. Coco’s other hand went to cup his cheek, and he slowly allowed himself to be pulled into a silent hug. Behind them, Blake made her way to Yang, kneeling in front of her and putting her hand on her knee and her arm. Ignoring the pang of pain she felt in her heart when Yang tried to shrug her touch off of her, she just stayed there quietly.

They all sat in silence for a while, before Fox pulled back from Coco slightly and turned towards Yang.

“Captain, I…”

“I am not a captain anymore.”

“What do you mean? Did they demote you? What the fuck?” he said incredulously.

Next thing that happened stunned everyone, because Yang started to laugh. Blake and Coco quickly exchanged worried looks, with the cat faunus spiting quiet “Yang?” towards the blonde.

“I failed to find traitors. I got my unit killed, and they promoted me to a Major and gave me a medal.” Yang’s laugh was sickening to listen to. It was born out of desperation and having no idea how to process the situation. Blake’s stomach churned. She laughed like that once too.

After Yang’s laugh died down, she allowed Blake to help her up. She was like a soulless puppet. All four of them made their way through the bar towards the exit to Coco’s car, while she made sure the bar would run fine without her for the night. During their way back to Blake’s apartment neither of them said anything. Nobody had any idea what to do in this situation. Before they got into the car Coco and Blake discussed their options, and decided they should all go to Blake’s and let Yang rest. Fox was quiet, lost in his thoughts and only gave a small nod to the girls when they told him what the plan was. Yang was just sitting in the back seat, looking at her limp palm on her thigh. Both veterans shared the same thought at this moment.

_It’s all my fault._


	10. Spoils of war

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS I LAID DORMANT WHO DARES TO... Oh hey guys!
> 
> So I'm back. I am truly sorry it took me so long to finish and post this chapter.  
> It's just at first it was work (2 weeks of just going back home and dying on my bed afterwards), and then I was feeling down cause I was falling more and more behind. I'm sure many people know that the longer and deeper you fall into the slump, the harder to claw your way out. You can't get yourself to write anything, and when you do it's trash. 
> 
> But I'm back. I'm currently in the middle of my 2 weeks vacation. And I'm starting to relax and rest properly finally. Who knows, maybe I'll even manage to write some chapters ahead.
> 
> As always, I am eternally grateful to my lil bat guardian (a hero I don't deserve but need so much). And to all of you who waited ever so patiently for the next chapter in our story.
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter and as always, I always welcome comments and critiques!

_Breathe in. Breathe out…_

Blake tried to collect herself while she waited for the water to boil. Her knuckles were going white from the way she propped herself on the counter of her kitchen. _Everything is going to be fine, right? They are all fine._ She kept telling herself that but she wasn’t very convincing. Yang has shut down completely, Fox was angry and Coco just… deflated. Okay, they were not fine. It was a disaster. One that Blake had no idea how to fix, or even if she could at all. To make matters worse, Yang has finally shown a sliver of progress, opening up to Blake a bit, filling the faunus with hope that they were on the right path, but then she gets hit with a bomb from the past, and Fox and Coco get hit by the shrapnel.

_What do I do?_

Usually in a hard situation she always had Coco or Pyrrha to fall back on, but now Coco was in no shape to deal with this and Pyrrha was still days away.

_Can I even do anything?_

Sudden chime of her kettle brought her back to the abysmally quiet apartment. She took it off the stove and started preparing tea for everyone, the sound of the spoon scraping walls of one of the cups gave her an idea. Make them talk. She had to start somewhere, and it might as well be by getting rid of this depressing silence covering all of them.

Slowly taking the tray to the living room she paused for few moments taking in Yang curled into a smallest ball she could on one side of the couch, Coco sprawled on the armchair half laying in it and Fox sitting with legs crossed on the floor near the coffee table. She could basically see the negativity spewing out of them. With a sigh she made her way to the table.

“I made tea for everyone. You should drink it while it’s hot,” Blake said putting the tray down with a clatter. “Sugar is on the tray, I got some milk, honey and lemon if anyone prefers that.” She put her hand on Fox’s arm, and made her way to the couch, sitting near Yang, but deciding it might be best to give her some space for now.

Tsking internally, as neither of them made any sort of movement towards the tea, Blake tried to think of anything else to say, but was drawing a blank. Swallowing hard she opened and closed her mouth few times, but no words would come out. She clenched her fist, grunting silently and finally managed to spew out some forced words.

“Guys, I know it’s bad, but please. Somebody has to say some…” Before she could finish, Coco who now sat bent forward, head hung low and elbows propped on her knees, said in a very quiet voice, which still somehow sounded like a shout in the deafening silence of the room

“Why did you lie to me Fox?”

Fox’s head snapped towards her so hard Blake was sure he almost broke his neck.

“I didn’t…” He replied weakly.

“What?” She asked incredously.

“I-I never lied. You never asked me if I knew her. I… I just didn’t mention the possibility that I might…”

“Oh… oh.” The disbelief in Coco’s voice made both Fox and Blake cringe. The faunus threw a quick glance towards Yang, but she seemed to doze off for now. Good. She didn’t need to hear this.

“You are right. Silly me,” Coco said with a fake smile and Blake knew it was bad. She had to intervene, but before she could say anything Coco spoke again.

“Silly me, for not thinking that my own boyfriend might hide something that big from me. Silly me for thinking that even if he thought I was wrong, he would talk to me. Silly me for never imagining that he might be trying to sabotage all of my efforts to help someone, especially WHEN HE KNOWS THAT PERSON.”

“Coco I-…” Fox tried to speak up, but she wouldn’t let him.

“You what? Huh? You what, Fox?” Coco’s fists were clenched and hitting her knees with every word. “You thought that if you don’t mention it, that we won’t find out? That even if you technically won’t lie to me, I won’t feel betrayed? Maybe you thought you were actually helping someone by not saying anything?!” With every question her voice got louder and louder. Coco was standing at this point.

“What, no answer? How could you do this to me? You know how I am. You know who I am! All those fucking years, Fox, and you still thought doing stupid shit like this is going to be ok?!” Getting no answer only seemed to rail Coco up more.

“Coco, please sit and calm down. I know this is a stress-“ Blake tried to interject, throwing worried glances at Yang who started shifting a bit in her sleep.

“NO, BLAKE! I will not calm down. All I ever ask is one thing. TALK TO ME. That’s it. I can take the truth, I can take different opinions. I can accept someone doing things their way. What I can’t accept is my BOYFRIEND LYING TO MY FACE! EVEN IF IT IS BY OMISSION!” Coco was now fully yelling.

Blake was so taken aback by this, because yes, Coco had a bad temper most of the time. And she was loud and liked to yell. But this… This was wrong. She was breathing heavily, looking all messy (which never happened, ever), tears in her eyes. Blake could hear the hurt in her voice, and it made her heart throb. Seeing Coco like that was as rare as it was painful. She looked at Fox, his head hung in shame, and fist closed on the carpet.

“Coco. Please…” Fox said, lifting his head a bit.

“NO, FOX! TELL ME, WHY?! TELL ME WHAT IN OUM’S NAME MADE YOU THINK THIS WAS THE WAY TO GO? TELL ME, SO I CAN UNDERSTAND HOW ANY OF IT BENEFITS ANYONE. TELL ME SOMETHING, TELL ME ANYTHING!”

Blake was about to jump through the table to get to Coco, to shake her or hug her, or anything that would make her calm down, but something stopped her dead in her tracks. It was a sound. A whimper. Looking to her left, she saw that Yang was now awake and shaking, clutching her right shoulder with her hand, her blonde hair now clinging to her sweaty forehead. Blake started to turn towards the blonde when Coco yelled again.

“DAMMIT, FOX! YOU CAN’T EVEN FIND ANYTHING TO SAY?!” She took a step towards him, but the only answer she got was silence. “Of all the stupid fucking shit, you can’t even defend your actions. For Oum’s sake, Fox, SAY SOMETHING!” Coco took another step towards now standing Fox.

“COCO! Please. Now is not the time for this, we can talk when we get ho-“ Fox started putting his hands up, his voice now raised as well.

“NO! YOU ARE GOING TO EXPLAIN IT TO ME NOW!” Coco’s voice, even though she was yelling, was betraying how close she was to crying.

“Please don’t do this now,” Fox pleaded.

“OH, FOR F-…!” Coco’s exclamation was cut short by another scream.

“BOTH OF YOU, SHUT UP!” Blake’s voice cut through the air, making Coco’s head snap to the faunus with a very mean answer on her tongue which died in her throat as soon as she noticed Blake not even looking at them. Following Blake’s gaze to the couch, her stomach twisted into an unpleasant knot. Yang was curled up on the couch, shaking and sweating, looking straight at Coco and Fox with a terrified expression on her face. Her eyes were glazed over and misty.

Coco was hurt, she was angry and felt betrayed. She didn’t want to deal with anything except Fox now. She desperately wanted him to explain himself, to give her a valid reason so she could understand. She didn’t want to deal with the world right now. But she was Coco and even when her world was falling apart, she couldn’t just ignore Yang. So she swallowed her pain and frustration, and tried to focus on the blonde. Noticing Blake took a step towards Yang and was about to get even closer, she pulled her arm out and stopped Blake.

“Blake, stop!” Coco said, her voice softer and quieter, but still raspy from all the yelling.

“What? Why? We have to do something,” Blake said, her tone urgent.

“She is having an episode or something, she told us she can be dangerous. Be careful,” Coco explained, eyeing Yang carefully. The state the blonde was in tore Coco’s heart apart, because she used to see the same expression, and the same glazed sight, on Blake early on in their friendship, during her panic attacks. “Talk to her. Tell her it’s you, tell her she is safe. Don’t touch her for now.”

Nodding, Blake turned towards Yang and spoke, trying to sound as delicate as possible “Yang? Yang, sweetie, it’s fine. You are okay, can you hear me?” Yang’s head snapped back to Blake and the faunus was taken aback, because even though Yang was looking towards her, she was looking right through Blake. _So that’s what Coco meant._ Blake thought back how Coco described her attacks to her. She took a deep breath and continued.

“Yang, it’s me, Blake. Everything is all right, it was just a bad dream. You are safe, you are okay,” Blake said in a soothing voice.

Coco was standing still and quietly waiting. Yang’s shivers seemed to die down and she was starting to refocus on Blake. She remembered how freaked out she was at the beginning, when Blake would randomly start shaking or crying and trembling. It took her a while and a lot of reading to try and help her work through it. She glanced over at Blake and gave herself internal nod, Blake’s voice seemed to help Yang focus.

“B-Blake?” Yang’s voice was still shaky and weak, but she seemed to recognize the faunus.

“I’m here, Yang, we are all okay. How are you feeling?” Blake asked with a small smile. It was going to be fine.

“My a-arm really hurts, I think it’s broken. Can you check it? I can’t feel my fingers,” Yang said with tears streaming from her face and a desperate smile, putting her stump up towards Blake.

It was not going to be fine.

Blake understood Coco’s warning, she knew how it felt. But Yang’s desperate plea was about as much as she could take, and before Coco could say anything, she strode to Yang, sitting next to her and gently putting her hand on Yang’s forearm, softly rubbing it and whispering soothing nothings to her. Yang’s gaze focused on the motion and after few minutes it seemed to calm her a bit. Blake slowly inched closer and soon she had Yang wrapped in a hug. Yang seemed to try and wriggle out of it for a bit until she finally started to relax into the embrace with Blake whispering assurances into her hair.

Seeing Yang finally calm down, Coco let out the breath she was holding. Her strength left her body along with the air, and she wobbled a bit before straightening out. She just wanted this disaster of a day to end. No more lies, no more painful memories, and no more panic attacks. She looked up and saw Blake, mouthed a silent “You ok?”, and the faunus gave her a weak nod.

“We should go,” she said quietly. “You girls gonna be ok?”

“I think so. You don’t have to go, you can stay for the night,” Blake said in a delicate voice, still holding Yang.

“I... No, we should go. If anything happens, call me?” Coco said, turning around to face Fox who was now sitting on the armchair. “Let’s go, Fox. And Blake? Be careful, please.”

Fox got up from the chair, fully expecting Coco to just leave him and go to the car without waiting, so his brows rose in surprise when Coco grabbed his wrist and gently led him out of the apartment. It hurt him more than he expected, because even after the colossal fiasco of today’s night, she was still Coco and she was still gentle with him, even through her anger.

Neither of them said a word during their ride back to the apartment.

 

 

“Yang?” Blake asked, pulling back a bit. They sat on the couch for few more minutes after Coco left with Fox.

“Yeah?” Yang responded into Blake’s shoulder.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

“We should probably get you to bed.”

“Yeah.”

They slowly untangled from each other and Blake helped Yang get to her room, still rubbing her back. Yang undressed quickly and sat on her bed just in her panties and sports bra she was wearing. Blake was about to leave her for the night, but Yang’s hand suddenly clenched around her own. Turning around she noticed a weird look in Yang’s eyes. Was it fear? Or was it something else? They stayed like that for few moments before Blake broke the silence.

“Yang?”

“Yeah?”

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you need anything?”

Yang shook her head in response, but didn’t let go of Blake’s arm.

“Are you sure you don’t ne…?”

“S-stay with me for a bit?”

Blake’s eyebrows shot up. It was such a sudden and desperate plea.

“Please?” Yang’s eyes were getting misty again.

“You want me to stay a little bit longer?”

Yang looked down and mumbled something.

“What was that? Yang?” Blake was sure she misheard the blonde.

“I don’t want to be alone… please, don’t leave me.” Yang almost whimpered.

“Hey, it’s okay, I’m gonna stay a bit,” Blake answered, swallowing a lump forming in her throat. She turned around and settled onto the bed so that she was sitting up while Yang curled up on her side, facing Blake, and her hand clenching Blake’s blouse instead of her sleeve.

“I’m sorry.” Yang’s voice was barely a whisper.

“Oh no, Yang, no, it’s okay. Don’t worry about it. Just try to get some sleep,” Blake whispered, in return slowly stroking Yang’s hair.

Blake wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, but at some point near the morning Yang finally passed out into a shallow sleep, giving Blake a chance to slip out into the kitchen to make herself some tea. She fully expected to get very little sleep, not that it made things any easier. She dozed off for a bit, sitting there on Yang’s bed with her hand in her hair, but you could hardly call it a nap. She was stiff from her sitting position and not moving for a prolonged period of time. Looking at the clock, she stifled a yawn. 5:43AM was hardly a time that elicited joy in her. Blake finished her tea and dragged herself to the shower, hoping that steaming hot water would dull the ache in her back and shoulders.

Getting out of the shower, Blake felt marginally more alive than before. Rolling her right shoulder, she tried to get the annoying feeling of pulling and discomfort that spread from her shoulder to her ribs, but she knew that the only thing that will help is moving it around during the day and a good night of sleep in her comfortable bed. Thinking how inconvenient her body has become, courtesy of her past, she was startled when walking out of the bathroom, she saw Yang sitting at the table, staring blankly into the glass of water in front of her.

“Hey, Yang, how are feeling?” Blake asked, walking slowly towards the blonde.

The only response she got was a shrug. Frowning, Blake sat down next to her.

“Maybe you should try getting some more sleep?” Blake asked and again Yang’s only response was a shrug. She was just about to ask Yang, if she maybe wanted to talk, when the blonde has spoken.

“Do you think she hates me?” Even though her voice was quiet, Blake could hear the raspiness in it.

“Does who hates you, Yang?” Blake asked, not being sure what Yang meant.

“I was ever only a bother and now...” Yang’s voice hitched for a second “Now I fucked up her relationship with Fox as well. She surely hates me, right?” She didn’t even lift her head to look at Blake.

“Oh, honey, no, no, no. Coco does not hate you, Yang, and you were never a bother. Whatever Coco’s issues are with Fox, they will deal with it together. They have been together for a long time and they will work it all out, okay? Don’t worry about it, please. For now, you should try and get some more rest,” Blake said while rubbing Yang’s back with her palm.

“Okay.”

“I have a meeting today at 9, but it shouldn’t last more than an hour. Are you going to be okay? Want anything from the shop?” Blake asked, but she only got a turn of Yang’s head as a response.

“Yang, do you want me to stay? I can reschedule and we can stay in today.” Blake tried to elicit some kind of response from the blonde.

“N-No, it’s fine, I’m fine. Go to your meeting and I don’t want anything from the shop,” Yang responded, trying not to show the flare of frustration that arose in her. She was so tired of everything, but especially being the reason why people would turn their lives upside down. Even though Blake said otherwise, Yang knew better. She was a bother. She was the pole everyone kept dancing around and nobody would ever tell her so. Blake interrupted her train of thought with getting up to make breakfast.

“Okay. I should be in around 12. I will make breakfast, what do you want?” Blake asked, making her way to the kitchen.

“Not hungry.”

“Yang, please, you have to eat.”

“Really, I’m fine. I will go and try to get some sleep. Good luck in your meeting,” Yang said in a flat tone and, before Blake had a chance to say anything more, she went back to her room.

With a heavy sigh, Blake made herself some cereal, and left some sandwiches for Yang in the fridge, and started preparing to leave for her meeting.

 

* * *

 

Over the next few days Blake noticed a change in Yang’s demeanor. She wasn’t exactly angry, but she got frustrated easily. Up until this point, Blake hasn’t really had the chance of seeing anything else than closed off, depressed Yang. And while she didn’t snap or yell or anything like that, Blake could hear the grumbles and sighs that Yang let out under her breath during conversations, as if she was not happy with her own answers or something else was bothering her. It was new and the only thing Blake didn’t know was whether it was a good or bad change.

Combining all of it with Yang’s pretty low mood, it made Blake anxious. Yang was not doing very well, Blake could hear her shuffling in bed and get woken up by a nightmare which usually ended with Blake staying with Yang until the blonde managed to doze off after calming down. She didn’t speak or eat much, but on the other hand she seemed to manage work at least. Blake tried everything in her power to help Yang, talking, spending time with her, trying to get her to leave the apartment (even if it was just for the short trip to the rooftop), but nothing seemed to lift her spirits. On top of all that, there was Coco. Those last few days Coco’s patience seemed to evaporate completely and she seemed to be permanently annoyed. She snapped at her workers, at Blake, and at random people so much, that both Blake and June had to intervene and ban her from the bar floor, making her sit her shifts in her office. While it did save the patrons her wrath, she still managed to send out a group mail to her staff firing everyone. Twice. She also tried to fire Blake, but realizing she wasn’t part of her staff made her just storm off towards her office, blowing steam from her ears. And as hilarious as it normally would have been, Blake was exhausted. Juggling Yang, Coco, and her work for this past week, took all her time and sapped her of her strength. So finally on Saturday she was anxiously counting down minutes and hours until Pyrrha’s welcoming party.

At 6:45 PM Blake was sweating excitement, pacing around the apartment, waiting for Yang who of course tried to weasel her way out of going to the party, but Blake made her best kitten impression and asked Yang until, with a heavy sigh, she agreed. Finally, the door opened and Yang was out. Wearing plain low cut jeans and a black t-shirt with some band name. Blake had to make a conscious effort not to think about bags under her eyes, looking thin and exhausted, and admit she looked nice. She got the impression that Yang was one of those people that would look good wrapped in some dirty rags and trash bags. Blake hurried Yang along as she closed the apartment, and trying her hardest not to run while they made their way to the bar. In few minutes Yang will meet Pyrrha and Blake couldn’t help the naïve hope sprouting in her heart that it will make everything better.

They made it 20 minutes past seven and Blake couldn’t hold her excitement anymore, darting through the entrance, and not stopping till she reached the main room, scanning it for a sign of a giant amazon woman with almost bloody red hair. Not being hard to spot at all through loose bunch of more and less familiar people, she saw her friend and bolted straight to her.

A blonde man tapped Pyrrha lightly on the shoulder and indicated with his chin she should turn around, which she promptly did right before being tackled by Blake, which resulted in Blake huffing loudly and bouncing back slightly, and Pyrrha not even flinching, but giving a short melodic laugh and wrapping the faunus in a tight hug.

“Hello!” Pyrrha sang.

“I missed you soooooooooooo much. Where have you been, and why is your body made from rock? I think I dislocated my shoulder,” Blake whined, hugging Pyrrha tightly.

“Well, someone is excited. I missed you too, Blake,” Pyrrha said, laughing.

“I don’t know what are you talking about,” Blake responded, nuzzling further into Pyrrha’s shoulder.

“I swear to Oum, everyone is always fawning over Pyrrha so much it’s like I don’t exist,” blonde boy standing next to Pyrrha said with a smile.

“That because you are like Pyrrha’s accessory and not a very pretty one at that,” Coco interjected while standing on her toes to ruffle his blond scruffy hair.

Blake pulled back from Pyrrha without letting her go and turned towards the blonde haired boy. “Hey, Jaune. It’s great to see you too,” she said with a wide smile.

“Yeah, just not as much as Pyrrha,” Coco said, sticking her tongue out.

“Be nice, Coco!” Pyrrha called over Blake’s head.

“Yeah, you heard her, be nice to me, you little imp,” Jaune said towards Coco while poking her cheek, which resulted in both of them flailing their arms at each other.

Blake let out a heavy sigh and turned towards Pyrrha again, both of them not being able to contain their smiles once again hugged each other. Blake felt relaxed for the first time in forever. The soothing presence of Pyrrha Nikos was a widely known phenomenon. Neither Blake nor Coco could ever figure out what exactly was causing it, not that they cared. They reveled in it and it helped them immensely in time of need. And now it was definitely a time of need for all of them.

Jaune and Coco making more of a mess with each second they picked on each other, forced Blake and Pyrrha to turn towards them. With a heavy sigh, Blake turned to Pyrrha who tried and failed to stifle her laughter.

“How about you grab us something to drink and I’m going to civilize those two barbarians?”

“Okay,” the red-head said, looking towards the rumbustious duo. “Good luck.”

With an exasperated sigh, Blake made her way towards Coco and Jaune, while Pyrrha headed towards the bar.

 

* * *

 

Yang would burst out laughing when Blake finally lost it and bolted towards the bar leaving her at the entrance, if she didn’t feel so numb. She did not want to be here. She wanted to go back to the apartment, lay on her bed and stare into the ceiling. But she couldn’t bring herself to say “no” to Blake. The childlike excitement and a pretty powerful pout knocked out any excuse that Yang had not to go. So there she was, standing at the top of the stairs leading to Crosshares and thinking how bad would it be, if she just turned around and went back to the apartment. Sighing heavily, she entered the bar, with a plan to ignore everyone and just sit at the bar for half an hour before bailing.

Slowly walking towards the main room of the bar, Yang was thankful that Blake left her alone. Otherwise she was sure there would be introductions and meeting new people. Everything Yang was not in a mood for.

She hastened her walk, throwing a glance to the right of the room where she saw Blake with a tall red-head that had to be Pyrrha, along with Coco and a blonde haired boy whom Yang didn’t know. Turning her head towards the bar, she noticed Fox in his usual spot at the end of it. She slowed for a second, considering her options. Guessing that at least he would be the last person in here to want to talk to her, she made her way towards the seat next to him, as far away as she could from everyone. Ordering whiskey neat from June, she sat quietly, observing Blake’s group, most notably Pyrrha. The red-head was lean and tall, probably rivaling Yang herself in height, she was slimmer and less curvy, but with her alabaster skin, furiously red hair and emerald eyes she seemed more like a masterfully chiseled sculpture than a normal human being. Dressed in a simple sleeveless black dress, with open back, she could easily pass for a model straight out of some fashion magazine, but then she turned her back towards Yang, and the blonde’s eyebrows rose up. Seemingly perfectly sculpted firm back of the red-head was adorned by a large scar, which seemed to extend all the way from her left shoulder to her right lower back. Yang has seen a lot of scars in her life, she saw plenty of wounds and marks, but she had to admit that this one was nasty. Jagged and uneven, it seemed almost dark in the dimmed lighting of the bar. She let out a loud exhale, thinking what could have caused such a blemish, and even more, how could this Pyrrha expose it so freely.

“The scar, right?” Fox’s quiet voice made her jump a little.

“Y-yeah.” Yang didn’t expect him to talk to her at all, she didn’t really want to talk with him either.

“I admire her, you know. She never hid it from what I’ve heard. Coco always said she flaunts it around like a badge of honor or something. Blake once told me that it took her a lot of time to be able to look at that scar,” he continued with his monotone tone and Yang wanted to pretend she didn’t hear the slight hitch in his voice when he said Coco’s name.

Humming non-committally, Yang turned her gaze to her drink when she noticed Pyrrha turning around and heading towards the bar. The sliver of hope Yang had, that Coco and Blake didn’t tell Pyrrha about her, that they didn’t describe it, quickly died when Yang lifted her head up and looked towards the other end of the bar, looking straight into 2 emeralds trained onto her. Cursing under her breath, Yang focused back on her drink. She couldn’t do it. She did not want to talk to the red-head. She didn’t want to hear more pleasant meaningless words, to look into the eyes of another person and only see pity in them. Downing the rest of her whiskey, she stood up from the stool and started walking away, when a hand on her shoulder stopped her.

“Um, excuse me. Are you Yang by any chance?” A melodic voice called behind her.

Yang closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She had half a mind to shrug off the hand and keep walking, but she knew it would only result in Blake and possibly Coco nagging her later on. Swallowing her growing irritation, she turned around to face the red-haired amazon.

“Yeah.” Yang’s answer was short and reserved.

“Hello, I’m Pyrrha. It’ a pleasure to meet you!” Pyrrha sang, lifting her left hand.

Yang looked at it for a second before shaking her hand with a nod.

Pyrrha didn’t seem fazed by Yang’s cold response to her greeting. She beamed a smile towards Yang and tangled her fingers behind her back.

“So I’ve heard a lot about you,” Pyrrha started with an unsure tone. “From Coco and Blake and… Your sister.”

Yang’s eyes widened and her mind went blank. Pyrrha eyed her with uncertainty.

“I-I wasn’t sure if you were the same Yang from their letters, but seeing you now, Ruby always spoke of you fondly.” With a gentle voice and a slight smile on her face, Pyrrha reached her hand to put it on Yang’s shoulder, but Yang jerked back before she could grab her.

“I… What?” Yang was now in full panic mode. This couldn’t be happening. Not her sister. Anyone else. Yang could handle anything else. But not her sister.

“Who the fuck do you think you are, and why are you speaking to me about my sister?” Yang’s voice was raised and full of anger. Anger was the easiest for her now, after stuffing her growing frustration deep inside her, she found it being the only answer she could think of in a situation that was already overwhelming her.

“I’m sorry?” Pyrrha’s voice was still as gentle as ever, with obvious confusion on her face and her hand still outstretched, slowly lowering back down.

“Don’t mention my sister ever again! Do you understand? Ever again!” Yang slapped Pyrrha’s outstretched hand and, turning around, she almost ran towards the exit. She had to get out of there. As far away from Blake, Coco, and that red-head.

Pyrrha stood there, mouth agape, trying to wrap her brain around what just happened.

“For Oum’s sake, Pyrrha, not you to.” She nearly jumped when Fox’s hand landed on her shoulder.

“Fox, I… I have no idea what just happened,” Pyrrha, said turning around.

“Please tell me you don’t actually know her. Please,” he pleaded.

“I-I know her sister. We studied in Atlas together for a while. She used to talk about Yang a lot,” Pyrrha said, her confusion growing when she noticed the scowl on his face.

“Fuck. FUCK!” He swore loudly. “Listen to me, you cannot say anything to anyone. You cannot tell Coco or Blake that you have any idea who Yang is, that you know her sister. Please.”

“You want me to lie to Coco? You cannot be serious, Fox. From what I hear, you tried that and it only made things worse.” Frown was drawing on her face as she put her hands on his shoulder.

“Fuck, she told you? Of course she did. Listen, Yang is in a very bad place right now. You saw how she reacted when you barely mentioned her sister.” Fox tilted his head with a serious expression, and Pyrrha had to bite her lip. “Yang is using a fake name right now and we both know how Coco is. What do you think the first thing she did was when Yang told them her name? She spent hours on the web searching for her or any mention of her family.”

“But Fox, Coco told me that Yang ran away from home, we have to reach out to them to tell them she is okay,” Pyrrha replied, but her tone gave away she wasn’t entirely convinced of that herself.

“But Yang is not fine. She is barely hanging on. Just few days ago she had a panic attack, and Blake told Coco that she had nightmares every night since then. If you force her to confront her family now, she will run away again and we will never see her again,” Fox started explaining, his voice low and words spoken quickly. “I love Coco, and, yeah, it hurts, and I fucked up, but we both know that Coco is Coco, and while she always wants to help and has best intentions, you of all people remember how it ended for Blake and you, and Coco. Blake told me how hard she took everything that happened to you two. How she blamed herself for all of it. What do you think is going to happen when somebody let’s something slip, and Yang’s sister or her parents show up unannounced? Yang won’t be able to handle it and she will run. And then nobody is going to be able to help her. And I don’t think that Coco will be able to forgive herself.”

“I… Fox I-...” Pyrrha said quietly.

“Please. Trust me on this. You don’t have to lie. Just don’t say anything. I will take all the blame when we tell her. Please, Pyrrha, you know this is the right thing to do!” He pleaded, covering her palm on his shoulder with his.

“Okay,” she said, but even then she had an inkling that they are making a mistake.

 

* * *

 

Yang didn’t know how long she walked, but the air was nice and chill, not many people were on the streets and she managed to calm down a bit. A sign near some alleyway got her attention and she crossed the street, taking in old and battered door that lost most of its paint, and without thinking, she went in.

The bar she ended up in was as standard as bars went. Old, with the stench of cigarette smoke in the air, and not many patrons. Yang didn’t care about any of this. She needed a drink. A lot of drinks.

Sitting down at the dirty bar on stool that was close to falling apart, she ordered whiskey neat again, and downed it the moment it appeared before her. Quickly getting a refill, she exhaled loudly. Every time she thought that there was nothing else to kick her down even more, life managed to prove her wrong. She paused for a second when her scroll vibrated in her pocket, and she wanted to ignore it, because she knew it was Blake or Coco, asking where she was. Sighing, she reached for it and, to her surprise, it was an unknown number.

“ _I talked to Pyrrha. She won’t say anything to Coco or Blake for now.  
-Fox”_

She didn’t even question how was it possible that a blind-man could type out a message, she smirked mockingly. _Great. Everything is peachy_ _then._ She thought to herself. Downing another drink, she tried to focus on the burning in her throat, and gentle buzz was enveloping her mind. That was what she needed. A distraction. A moment in which nothing can go wrong and no bad thought would come to her. She quickly texted Blake with some lame excuse and assurance that she will get back to the apartment. And was about to order another drink when a voice and shuffle near her got her attention.

“Hey, sweetheart! Can I buy you a drink?” A gruff voice said.

Yang turned her head to eye the stranger. He was just a normal looking guy. Not like she cared anyways. Thinking for a bit, she made a bitter decision.

“Sure, why not.”

And it sounded a lot like a first step.

 

 


	11. Open wounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I made progress! Finished chapter 13 yesterday! So you can expect more regular postings for the next few weeks. Also with this chapter we are going to start getting into some darker territory for a while. I will try to post warnings, if anything drastic happens, and I will try to update the tags (don't expect too much, I despise tags) accordingly. 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy the chapter, and as always I welcome all of the comments and critiques! Thanks for reading!

Pyrrha was standing right where Yang left her with Fox, lost in her thoughts deep enough not to notice the rest of her friends approaching.

“Where the hell did blondie disappear to?” Coco asked, frown deepening under her shades. They all saw the very end of Pyrrha-Yang confrontation, where Yang walked away.

Pyrrha jumped a bit, hearing Coco’s voice near her, and was scrambling for an answer.

“Yang felt a bit overwhelmed and left to get some fresh air,” Fox replied, feeling Pyrrha’s grip on his hand tighten a bit.

“Oh, come on, that’s such a lame excuse. Don’t worry, I will go fetch Barbie’s ass right back,” Coco said, tightening her lips. She was so not going to let whatever issues Yang had to mess this evening for her.

“Maybe we should give her a bit, and language, Coco!” Pyrrha said with her eyebrows raised.

“Oh, right, I’m sorry, Your highness. Ahem… Thou hast worry not. I shall bring the golden haired maiden to thee with haste, my fair lady!” Coco said with pompous voice, her tone inflated.

“You are such an idiot, Coco,” Blake deadpanned.

“Excuse me? I will have you know that I am a very intelligent person. I finished Beacon as a top student,” Coco answered, her hand at her chest, mocking offense.

“I’m pretty sure it was Haven and you barely passed the basic course,” Jaune chimed in.

“Well, I’m pretty sure you will be scrubbing toilets here with your toothbrush for the next year if you don’t shut up.” Coco swapped him on the shoulder.

“Seriously though, I am a bit worried about Yang,” Blake said, changing the subject.

“I think we should give her a couple more minutes. She will be back when she’s ready,” Fox said, Coco narrowing her eyes at him under her glasses. When Blake agreed with him, they all went back towards the bar.

Coco tried not to let anything take her mind off her best friend being back in town, but she and Fox were not okay. Her mind kept coming back to the night they came back from Blake’s apartment.

 

* * *

 

Coco slammed the door to her apartment. Even though she was exhausted, but she knew she won’t be able to sleep. So she started pacing in front of their couch which she seated Fox on.

“Coco, I-...” Fox started, but she interrupted him.

“I am trying very hard to come up with a reason for all of this, Fox, but I can’t. I just fucking can’t fathom why you would lie to me,” she said, not stopping. “You know, Fox. You know lying is one thing I cannot forgive. I told you about my father. I told you not to lie to me, to tell me however hard or bad it would be.”

“I know, Coco, and I am truly sorry, but please understand. My history with her is complicated. We didn’t part on the best of terms. She carries enough guilt as it is, and she was always blaming herself for what happened to me even if she had nothing to do with it,” Fox started.

“Oh my god. THEN TELLL ME, FOX! How can you expect me to understand anything, when you don’t tell me shit? I know how hard it is for you to talk about it and I never press you, ever. I hardly know what happened to you, other than the vague story you told me. I just can’t fucking understand how could you hide something so big from me. If I knew about it, if you ever mentioned the possibility, we could have done everything so much better. Instead you shut your mouth and everything goes to shit.” Coco was almost screaming from anger and frustration welling up inside her.

“I-I don’t know how. You know I hate talking about what happened to me, even if I can manage it now fine.”

“God, Fox, all you had to say is ‘Hey, Coco, I think I know the golden-haired punching bag you adopted with Blake’. I’m not telling you to tell me your detailed biography, I just want to know why did you think not saying anything would have made it better.” Coco spat angrily.

“Don’t say that. You are mad, I get it, but don’t call it like that.” His answer was sharp.

“Mad? MAD? I’m fucking furious, because you won’t tell me WHY YOU LIED TO MY FACE!”

“BECAUSE I DIDN’T WANT IT TO BE HER, OK?!” He screamed back.

Coco stared at him with her eyebrows up, he so rarely raised his voice it shocked her when he finally snapped. Shock mixed with confusion silenced her, because she had no idea what he was talking about.

“I didn’t want the woman I remembered, strong, cheerful and always taking care of us, always making sure we came back from the mission, to be this broken sad little thing. Lost and crying. It couldn’t be her, being crushed by the weight of her guilt. Large part of which is my fault, Coco. She blames herself for what happened to me, when I am the only one that is to be blamed for that, and I can’t take it. I can’t. The thought that because of my stupid fucking mistakes, my selfishness and insecurity, she has become like that is unbearable. It’s my shame. I am ashamed, because I had part in throwing Yang into whatever pit she is trapped in.” His voice wavered at the end of his speech.

Coco stood there, watching him carefully, the way his shoulders sagged, his head hung low. It unnerved her how defeated he sounded. It irritated her, because she could maybe start to understand his decision. And it frustrated her that he didn’t come to her with all this guilt.

“There is more,” Fox quietly said.

“More what?” Coco asked immediately, trying to calm her nerves from growing again. That did not sound good at all.

“There is still something about Yang I haven’t told you. And I am so sorry, but I can’t tell you yet,” he said, raising his head with an apologetic look. “I’m truly sorry, but I can’t. So, please, don’t ask me. I just… I just hope you can forgive me someday,” he said with a defeated smile.

Coco tightened her fits, and closed her eyes. Taking deep breaths, she calmed herself down.

“Okay,” she said.

“Okay?” he repeated with confusion.

“Yeah, okay. What more do you want? At least now I know you still know something. I hate the fact that you won’t tell me what it is. It hurts that you don’t trust me enough to come clean. But it’s so much fucking better than you spewing some bullshit lie in my face again.”

“Oh,” Was all Fox could muster saying.

“Let’s go to bed, Fox, I have enough fighting, war and crying for a whole fucking year at this point.”

He shuffled on the couch, unsure of how to voice his question. “I… Do you want me to sleep on the couch?”

Coco stopped on her way to the bedroom and took a deep breath in. Exhaling she kept telling herself _don’t yell, don’t yell, don’t yell_.

“Fox, I swear to god I will punch you in the face if you don’t stop being a complete moron this fucking second. I am mad. I am beyond mad. You hurt me, Fox. And you are still in deep shit. But I love you and I wanna work this out. I’m just gonna need time. And a lot of booze.” Coco turned around and walked inside the bedroom leaving Fox just sitting there dumbfounded.

“Also,” she yelled from the other room. “You are so not getting any for like 20 years at least.”

 

* * *

 

Trying to shake off the memories of their argument, she dramatically hung herself over Pyrrha’s neck.

“Pyrrhaaaa,” Coco wailed. “I am dying. Help me.”

“Oh no, what is wrong?” Pyrrha asked with a roll of her eyes.

“Everyone is annoying me to death. Do something. Go beat them up or whatever,” Coco said with a grave tone.

“I could take Pyrrha on,” Blake said, earning snorts of laughter.

“Yeah, you could take Pyrrha to lunch or something,” Jaune responded before snorting again.

“I’m sure Blake could fight something, a plush toy or whatever, and have a chance to win,” Pyrrha said, joining the teasing.

“Oh, great. Let’s all pick on a defenseless cat lady,” Blake said, trying to maintain a straight face.

“Yes, please go pick on her. She didn’t let me fire her,” Coco said with mock accusation.

“Like you could live without me,” Blake responded with a smirk.

“Wait, fire you? I didn’t know you hired Blake,” Jaune interjected.

“She fired all of her staff. Twice in like 10 minutes,” Blake laughed.

“They were all annoying. And I wanted to hire Blake just so I can fire her for being annoying, but she didn’t accept my gracious offer,” Coco said with an exasperated tone.

“There, there. I’m sure you will find somebody else annoying to fire,” Pyrrha said, while halfheartedly patting Coco on the beret.

“I hate all of you. No compassion at all. I am suffering here!” Coco mocked while reaching for her drink. The group’s collective laughter finally helped her truly relax. Everything was nice and light. No lies, no panic attacks, just everyone enjoying their own company.

Blake was feeling light and happy for the first time in months. Ever since she took Yang in, it seemed that happiness somehow evaporated from her life. And it wasn’t Yang’s fault. Well, it was, but she didn’t do it purposefully. But over the course of those weeks, months that she took care of her, there wasn’t much time for feeling happy. She felt bad for Yang, pitied her even, and she worried. And that worry blossomed again, when she realized how much time has passed since they last saw Yang. She was about to tell everyone she is going outside to look for her when she felt her scroll vibrating.

“Sorry, was feeling a bit ill with the crowd. Be back at the apartment later tonight. Have fun.  
-Y.”

That did not exactly instill Blake with confidence, but given how Yang acted for the last few days it was probably best to leave her be. She really wanted Yang to meet Pyrrha, for them to get along, but forcing it was definitely not the way. With a sigh and a slight pang of guilt she hid her scroll and rejoined the conversation with her friends.

***

Blake looked up from her book to the clock under her TV. She was lying on her couch with a cup of some mint tea and a blanket draped over her legs.

1:17 AM

She sighed and dropped the book which she couldn’t even focus on in the first place. She checked her scroll on the coffee table but there were no messages. She sighed again and dropped her head back on the pillow and stared at the ceiling for couple of minutes. Yang was out late. Again. She pondered whether she should wait for the blonde again, only coming up with _What’s the point. She won’t come back till the morning._

Two months.

It had been nearly two months since Pyrrha’s visit and Blake couldn’t help but smile at those few days she spent with her. It was lovely. The only issue being this seemingly weird tension between Yang and Pyrrha when they interacted. Blake tried really hard to get all of them together to talk, but Yang seemed very set on interacting with the red-head as little as possible. Coco almost blew an artery at one point and nearly shoved Pyrrha and Blake into Yang’s room where the blonde retreated to one evening after dinner with Pyrrha. 

Ever since the night of Pyrrha’s welcoming party, Yang would go out. At first it was once a week, but then it turned to two-three nights. When she asked Yang about it, the blonde told her she just needed some “alone time”.

“I’ve been cooped up in this apartment for nearly half a year, Blake. You wanted me to go out more, so that’s what I’m doing,” Yang said, lying on her bed with her arm on her eyes. “I just need some time away from all of this.”

That first morning Yang came back around 6 in the morning, reeking of booze and other things, which made Blake almost throw up. It was horrible and she tried hard not to think of what that smell reminded her of. After a shower, some pain killers, and warm tea, Yang went to her room to nurse her hangover, leaving Blake shocked. After panicking for a bit, the faunus called Coco and, after making sure Yang went to sleep, she got on her way to meet her friend.

_“Calm down, Blake. Oum, it’s like 3 in the morning. Stop freaking out,” Coco said, sitting on her couch with her eyes barely open, hair messy, and her too big sleeping t-shirt slipping from one arm. Fox was in the kitchen, making them coffee._

_“Don’t tell me to calm down. She came back smelling like she bathed in cheap booze and I don’t know what else. It was disgusting, Coco. It reminded me of HIM,” Blake spat, pacing in front of the couch._

_“Blake. Listen, I get that it may be hard for you, but maybe it’s going to be good for her.”_

_“What, her hammering the consciousness out of herself with booze and then letting some drunk disgusting guy do who knows what to her?” Blake looked incredously at Coco._

_“Yeah, maybe getting laid is exactly what she needs. Who knows,” Coco said with dismissive tone._

_“What the hell, Coco? It’s bad, we need to make her stop!” Blake sat down next to Coco._

_“Honey, I understand that you would prefer to do the laying on Yang, but she may be doing what she needs right now,” Coco smirked._

_“I-No… We do not…_ _Fuck you, Coco,” Blake spluttered, blushing furiously. “I just want to make sure she won’t hurt herself.”_

_Coco sighed and brought Blake closer to her, gently rubbing her back._

_“I know. I just think… Listen, this is Yang’s choice. Good or bad, I think we should see how it goes for now. If it gets bad, we can talk with her. But Blake, we have been trying for so long to help her, and maybe that’s what she needs right now. So let’s give her space and see how it goes, ok?” Coco asked in a gentle tone._

_“Okay,” Blake silently responded._

Blake was regretting listening to Coco back then. They should have talked with Yang then.  
Those two months were a torture for Blake. Yang didn’t always come back in the morning. Sometimes she would get back in the middle of the night. Waking Blake up, and making her spend next 30 minutes with Yang over her toilet, trying not to spill her organs into the bowl.

Yang would sleep off the hangovers and go to work in the evening. At first she only went out when she knew she had a free day coming. But lately she would go out whether she had to work the next day or not. Blake hated every second of it. Especially when Yang would get back in the morning smelling like brewery and sex. Blake had to use all of her willpower not to wince, throw up or throw Yang judgmental looks.

The worst part about all of this, though, was that Coco was wrong. It became more and more apparent with every week that this was not what Yang needed. Far from it. Yang became borderline mute. There were weeks when Blake hasn’t heard her say anything, but one or two words. She stopped eating, and Blake had to force her to eat anything. And while she didn’t wake Blake up with her nightmares, Blake knew that Yang either didn’t sleep at all or tried everything in her power to be quiet to not disturb Blake’s sleep. Blake tried calling Pyrrha about it, and when questioned why she won’t go to Coco, Blake explained that Coco and Yang could barely exist in the same room together these days. All it took was one look or one wrong word from one of them for both of them to snap. Coco was visibly struggling with Fox and their unresolved issues, and Blake didn’t want to add to her worries, but she was feeling slowly being overwhelmed by the situation.

Getting up from her couch and making her way to her bedroom, Blake was begging whichever gods existed, that Yang for once comes back home sober.

 

* * *

 

Yang was lying in her bed, staring at the ceiling. She came to hate these moments the most. The quiet moments right after one of her nightmares. She knew she won’t be able to go back to sleep. After meeting Fox, it became much worse. Her nightmares changed, the shadow silhouette resembling Yang herself was replaced by slimmer and shorter figure with white hair gathered into a bun, with the same mocking grin the figure would tease her, laughing at her while showing her faces of her dead squad mates.

**They trusted you and look what it got them. Dead. Every single one of them. And it’s all your fault.  
**_No I… I tried, I couldn’t…  
_**You were weak. You were supposed to take care of them. Protect them.  
**_Please. I tried so hard. I was… I…  
_**You what? You pathetic sad little thing. You were supposed to give your life for them. Instead all of them are eating dirt. It’s all your fault.  
**_I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.  
_**Nobody cares about your apologies. It won’t bring them back.  
**_I’m sorry…  
_**It was all your fault and yet you had the audacity to beg me to save you, to reach out to me. The only thing you actually cared about was saving your own skin.  
**_No, I…_  
**You didn’t deserve to be saved. You are worthless. A failure.**

After that two giant pincers would come out of the darkness. They would grab her right arm, twist and break it, tearing it off bit by bit. And she would scream. Scream and beg the silhouette to save her or to end her suffering. But the white haired phantom would just stand over her and laugh, telling her it was exactly what she deserved.

She would wake up, screaming and crying, her stump burning. And Blake would be there. Blake would always be there, holding her, whispering soothing words. She would make her tea and stay with her for a bit, until Yang managed to doze off into shallow sleep for few more hours.

But it all changed. The moment she met Pyrrha. The moment she realized that someone who knew her sister was talking with her. That was a tangible piece of Ruby that Yang couldn’t bear to meet. Ruby was the single most important person in Yang’s life and she deserved the world. She deserved better and Yang didn’t deserve her. So she did the only thing she knew how at that moment. She ran.

Everything that has happened later Yang remembered vividly, but it was like somebody else’s memory. She felt so detached from all of it. She drank until her mind got foggy. The guy that was chatting her up and buying her drinks was nice enough, but they both knew where this was going. Yang didn’t care. She hoped that whiskey would mute the raving guilt inside her. She didn’t plan on sleeping with anyone, it just sort of happened. When the booze wasn’t enough, she thought that the pleasure of intimacy would help drown every other bad thought. It didn’t work. For a short blissful moment, she didn’t think, just feel. But it wasn’t worth it. When she woke up in the man’s apartment next day, she was hungover and somehow even more miserable. She quickly dressed herself and ran to the apartment, trying to ignore the voice in her head that screamed **Whore, whore, whore!**

Yang wasn’t new to sex. In the army, fraternization was not allowed. But there weren’t that many ways to relieve stress or even boredom between assignments. After a stressful mission she would sometimes seek company with Sage. Both of them had no illusion that this was anything but a permanent arrangement, but they both found some miniscule degree of comfort in it.

This was different, though. Physical high was short-lived, and the low was disgustingly painful. But those tiny sparks of bliss. Those couple minutes where pleasure was all she felt, became something Yang craved. She knew full well how bad she would feel after, but it was the only way she could feel something else. Even if it was just for a short while. She didn’t always go back home with some guy. Sometimes she would just opt to drink herself halfway towards unconsciousness. She would somehow make it back to the apartment and wake up the next morning with a horrible hangover. Her nightmares didn’t disappear. They didn’t go away or get better. Yang just accepted that the silhouette was right. It was what she deserved. She didn’t wake up with screams any more. Just tears, which she would let fall, sobbing quietly into the pillow to not wake Blake up.

But the absolute worst part of all of it. The thing that hurt Yang the most was Blake. Or rather how she treated the cat faunus. For all those months that Yang stayed with her, Blake was nothing less than a rock. A ground for Yang to feel stable on, when the storm of her demons threatened to take over. She was always there. She nursed Yang through her broken ribs, she tried talking to her, making her open up. She listened and provided comforting touch. And Yang noticed that the faunus was hurting as well. Even drunk or hungover, Yang could see the thin line of Blake’s lips squeezed shut whenever she would bring her a glass of water to the bathroom. She could see how Blake observed her from over her books and notes. Blake tried, she tried really hard. She tried talking with Yang, asking her to go out with her for a change. To do something with Coco and Velvet. To spend some time together in the apartment. But Yang couldn’t. Blake sacrificed so much of her time for Yang and Yang wasn’t worth it. Not one second of it. Yet every look, every sigh of resignation, every apology that Yang could not say, echoed as loud steps in her mind. Leaving her with her thoughts, every single one like an open wound, bleeding hurt and regret into her soul.

Lying in her bed and looking at the clock, Yang felt a wave of nausea roll over her. She barely made it to the toilet. And heard Blake’s footsteps few seconds later. She was making breakfast when she saw Yang darting to the bathroom to throw up.

“Hey, are you okay? This has been going for few days now. Maybe we should get you to a doctor?” Blake said with worry, gathering Yang’s hair out of the way.

“It’s fine. Probably just ate something bad,” Yang rasped between heaves. She hadn’t gone out in a couple days. She felt too exhausted by work lately to even think of doing anything else other than passing out in her bed after her shifts, but she started throwing up two days ago.

“Yeah, because you eat so much lately,” Blake said with a serious tone. “I’m serious, Yang.”

“I’m fine, Blake, I just need to rest up a bit and I will be fine. I will clean myself up and you go eat your breakfast and go to your meeting. You don’t want to be late,” Yang said.

“Okay. But If you don’t get better by the day after tomorrow, I am taking you to a doctor,” Blake said, reluctantly leaving Yang in the bathroom. The smell of burning toast distracted her from the way Yang tensed up all of a sudden.

Yang’s mind got hung up on one word. One word that suddenly terrified her more than anything she has ever faced in her entire life.

Late?  
_No, no, no, no, no._

Late.  
_No, please, no._

Yang took a very long shower, hoping that Blake would leave in the meantime as she tried not to dissolve into a panic attack. Breathing heavily as the hot water ran over her, she listened as Blake tossed a goodbye and left the apartment. Yang’s mind was either completely Blank or going at the speed of light, because she got dried off and dressed up completely on autopilot. Taking the spare key Blake gave her, she raced down the street and opened a door to the place Blake showed her once just in case. She quickly found what she was looking for, and trying to ignore both her pounding heart, and the short pointed look that the lady at the counter gave her, paid for her purchase. Leaving the pharmacy without saying a word, she quickly made her way back to the apartment.

_This is not happening. Please, god._

Sitting at the table she started to read the package. As far as she knew, it was the most standard pregnancy test possible. She tried to calm herself down and when that didn’t work, she started to pace around the apartment, raking her hazy mind for anything. Finally deciding that putting it off any longer will only make it worse, she headed to the bathroom. Turns out peeing on a stick is a significant challenge when your hand is shaking like you are having a seizure.

After putting the test away while she waited for the result, she resumed her pacing. She tried as hard as she could not to think about it for a second. But it was impossible. The little piece of plastic was drawing her attention. It was like everything else was blurred, and it was the only thing that was sharp in her eyes. It took her five minutes of staring at it to finally force herself to move. Taking it with a shaking hand, she held her breath while slowly turning it around.

Two lines.

The silence was broken by the thundering heavy step sounding inside Yang’s mind.


	12. Festering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> So this chapter is going to touch on a hard subject. I'm not sure if that can serve as a trigger for anyone, but just in case be wary. There is no gore or anything, just the subject itself is touchy.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy the chapter, and as always I aprreciate all the comments!

Weight.

Yang felt like everything was so heavy. Her head, her heart, even the covers of the bed that she lay under felt like they were made out of lead. The whole world seemed to have suddenly become a weight shackling Yang down. She felt powerless and condensed. Like she became a block of metal, incapable of moving even an inch. She didn’t want to think. She just wanted to exist like that, lying in bed and never moving. Even if the weight in her chest made it hard to breathe.

It has been three days since Yang found out she was pregnant. And she spent all of those three days lying in bed. She got up to use the bathroom, and sometimes throw up, not that she actually ate anything to have anything to throw up with. She managed to convince Blake to just let her rest. Last thing she wanted was to be dragged to a doctor, and the thought that Blake might find out about her situation made bile rise in her throat.

Yang knew she had to start functioning somehow to not make Blake any more worried or suspicious, but she had nothing. With the last diminishing embers of her will, she got up next day. She made dinner for Blake, and even managed to shove an acceptable amount of food into herself. She even talked with the cat faunus and forced out few laughs.

It was hard. It was impossible and the task was completely overwhelming her. Yet she did it day in and day out. She would go to work, making sure not to let Blake know about the nausea that still plagued her from time to time. Surprisingly her interactions with Coco seemed somehow less loaded. And even when they came to blows, it was back on the old terms. Coco being the one getting annoyed, and Yang taking all the blows without saying anything. Everything was going fine, except that Yang felt the air suddenly became molasses. The weight was there, and it was growing heavier with every day.

Finally, Friday came and Yang was alone. She had a free weekend from Crosshares and Blake was out of town till Wednesday. She spent the whole day sitting on her bed in darkness, thinking. Ever since finding out about her pregnancy, her mind just stopped. The memories didn’t disappear. She could feel them growing, and taking more and more space inside of her. Blossoming feelings of guilt, sadness, disappointment and self-hatred, filled out the emptiness in her heart and soul. It was like she was slowly being consumed by gangrene, but couldn’t do anything else but accept it. And now she was going to be a mother.

The moment that one word crossed her mind, she felt whatever was in her stomach to force its way out. She ran to the bathroom, and once she was done heaving her guts out, she started sobbing. That one word opened a floodgate of memories, of her mother, of Raven. Of how she had left her and how Yang didn’t understand. Of how devastated Yang was, when she came back and left again without a word. Of how it ruined everything. Of how Yang ruined everything. Her father’s alcoholism, him leaving, how she left to fight in a war she didn’t care about, leaving Ruby back in Patch. Yang realized that somehow she made every wrong decision at every single turn of her life.

**It’s all your fault.  
**_No, I- **I** neve **r** w **an** ted this.  
_**You fucked up everything you touched. Your family. Your squad mates. Ruby and Coco. It’s just a matter of time that you manage to fuck everything up for Blake as well. And now the baby.  
_I_** _-I w_ **on** ’t. I WON’ **T**!  
**Yes you will. You know you will.**

Yang choked another sob. She didn’t have the strength to deny it. She would fuck everything up. And then it hit her. Raven. That was it. That was the reason. Yang finally figured it out. Raven knew. She knew what Yang was. She knew what she would do. And she tried, but couldn’t. Nobody could blame Raven for that. She tried, but it was simply impossible to be near Yang when she knew what would happen in the future. How her daughter would only bring pain to everyone. And Yang knew at this moment that she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t condemn an innocent being to be corrupted by her.

Somehow the revelation about her mother, and her sudden decision, made her feel lighter. She ran out of the bathroom, not bothering to clean herself up, and grabbed her scroll. It took her the rest of the night to find a proper place. Making an appointment was easier than she anticipated. It was surprisingly easy to fall asleep and sink herself into her nightmares. Her sleep didn’t last long, as a violent nightmare threw her off the bed. It took her over half an hour to calm herself down without Blake being there to help ground her. She didn’t sleep for the rest night.

Her appointment was at 11, but she was up shortly after 4. With the exception of short shower and dressing herself so that she was ready to go out, she just sat in her room, her leg bouncing hard enough to make the whole bed squeak slightly. She was lost in her rampaging thoughts, but the alarm she set (in a rare these days’ reasonable thought) brutally tore her out of her head. She jumped up and quickly left the apartment.

Feeling as if she was in a drunken haze, her memories, feelings and anxiety growing with each step made her journey into a very surreal experience. It took her less time than expected to reach the clinic, but by the time she did, her legs were made out of cotton, and she found herself unable to breach the entrance. She stood there for what seemed like hours, looking at her scroll she saw that barely 10 minutes have passed.

She wanted nothing more than to curl into a ball on her bed in Blake’s apartment, under her covers, in silence and darkness, so that the world couldn’t find. She wanted to break down and cry her soul out right then and there, but she had no more tears to spare. Her limbs made of lead and her muscles sore after the nightmare, she felt more tired then that she could ever remember.

She didn’t really know how she made her legs move, how she got through the door and walked up to the receptionist. She didn’t know how she managed to spill out her name and hour of the appointment. She didn’t know how she found herself waiting in front of the room she was assigned to.

When her name was called, she barely registered it. Her body moving on autopilot, leading her into the room to sit across a middle aged woman in a doctor’s coat, typing something on her computer. Yang just sat there in silence, head tilted, staring blankly onto the simple grey desk in front of her. 

“Miss…?” the woman asked, not shifting her gaze from the screen.

“Xiao-Long.”

“Okay then, let’s begin,” the woman said, her tone surprisingly warm, “I do apologize, I have your form right here, but it is our policy and I have to ask. Did you consider other options? Adoption or keeping the child? There are support programs for single mothers we could direct you to.”

“I did. Not interested.”

“Is this your final decision then?”

“Yes.”

“I understand,” the doctor said, typing away, and Yang thanked god she left it at that. She didn’t think she could stomach it if the woman tried to convince her to reconsider. “How far along are you?”

“I don’t know. Is that a problem?” Yang asked with a flat tone. _Please say no._

“No, not at all. We will do the tests, and barring any trouble, I will schedule you for the procedure tomorrow. There is some paperwork you will have to fill out and sign. You can start on that while I prepare to do the tests,” the woman said while pushing a small stack of papers towards Yang.

The forms themselves were pretty standard. Some more detailed history of herself and her immediate family. She went through it pretty fast. Signing everything until she got to the last form “Contacts in case of emergency”. While everything she wrote was true up to this point, she was in the military, and her medical record was pretty detailed anyway, she did not want to write anybody’s name in there. After a second of hesitation, she wrote a random name and phone number, along with the address of some random building in Vale downtown she remembered. Nobody should know about this. Nobody.

“Miss Xiao-Long, let’s get those tests started.” The doctor’s soft voice made Yang’s insides clench. She slowly got up from the chair and went after the woman. Each step thudding loudly inside her brain.

 

* * *

 

Blake grumbled a thanks as she was getting out of the cab. Finally, she was home. She hated going out of town, especially for more than a day or two, and especially when it was last minute work emergency she had no say in. Sighing as she felt the slight drizzle on her face, she made her way towards her building. It was nice to be home.

She texted Yang when she was getting on the plane, but the blonde did not respond. Blake was worried sick when she first found out she had to leave town for almost a whole week. She didn’t want to leave Yang, but having no other choice, she recruited Coco, Velvet, Jaune and even Fox to keep an eye out for her. They were all probably sick of her messaging them for daily reports and asking millions of questions about Yang. She did text Yang a few times, and Yang would always respond, she even called her twice and everything seemed okay. Except that Yang apparently switched shifts with Jaune, for Monday and Tuesday to get extended weekend. It was weird but Coco was fine with it, so Blake tried not to freak out.

Opening the door, she was greeted by silence and darkness. She turned the light on and called out for Yang. No response. Her gut already twisted into a knot, tightened a bit. She dropped her bags and headed straight for Yang’s room. Her bed was still a mess, and after checking if her clothes were there, she sighed with relief. Aside from a weird smell Blake could not identify, everything seemed to be in place. But then, where was Yang? Blake set a kettle for some warm tea and pondered whether she should harass any of their friends about Yang’s possible whereabouts or just call the blonde herself.

The rustle of keys reached Blake’s ears just as she was pouring water into her cup. She smiled to herself, and finished making her tea, just as Yang closed the door to the apartment.

“Oh, hey, Blake. I didn’t know you would be back already,” Yang called from the corridor.

Blake felt the heir on her neck stand, and goosebumps waving through her body. She turned around with such fervor she almost swiped her newly made cup of tea with her. Her stomach clenched as she took in the image of Yang, completely soaked and dripping wet on the floor, with a bag in her hand. From what Blake had experienced, it was barely a drizzle, but Yang looked like she took a swim in the river. _How long had she been out?_ And the tone of her voice. It sounded almost cheerful. It sounded fine and normal. And it was completely fake. Something changed. Blake could feel it in her gut that was by now tied into hundreds of small knots. The apartment seemed fine. It was clean and nothing was out of place. But Blake had this feeling, like the whole thing was demolished, and then somebody carefully fixed everything just the way it used to be. And Yang. Something was definitely going on with Yang. Blake was definitely not being paranoid. Definitely.

“I went for some groceries, we were out of stuff,” Yang, again with her fake, cheerful tone. And Blake felt an actual shiver run through her. “I’m going to take a shower, I’m freezing.”

“How long were you out? You are soaked and it’s just a light drizzle,” Blake asked, taking a step towards the blonde.

“I felt like going for a walk. I just lost the feeling of time. Sorry,” the blonde responded, walking into the bathroom. And Blake couldn’t help but swallow heavily from such a casual response.

Everything was fine. Yang was looking a little pale, and still had pretty significant dark bags under her eyes, but she insisted on making dinner for them, and even chatted with Blake about her trip. It almost seemed like Yang was marginally better, she talked more, she ate and she smiled. Well, at least she tried to. No smile that she shot Blake that evening felt genuine. None of them reached her eyes, and just seemed plastered on to her face like a mask. It did seem that Yang was trying. Everything was fine. And Blake had no idea why she felt everything was wrong. Stifling a yawn, she drank the rest of her tea and announced she was going to bed. Once she is rested tomorrow, she will find out what is going on. Feeling better after deciding that, she quickly let sleep envelop her.

 

* * *

 

“She’s fine. Oum, Blake. How many times are we going to go through this?” Coco dismissed her friend lounging on her couch.

“She’s not fine, Coco. Something is off. You cannot tell me you haven’t noticed it,” Blake answered. She was starting to get a little annoyed by Coco’s lack of care.

“Fine, she is not fine. She’s a mess, but come on. She is hanging on, she even seemed a little bit more energetic ever since you came back,” Coco said, suddenly rising herself to a sitting position and hitting her open palm with a fist. “I know. She was just lonely, and missed you!” Coco excitedly said while wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

“Oh, screw you, Coco. I’m serious. I feel like something is off and you couldn’t give less shit about this!” Blake snapped.

 “Do not tell me I do not care, Belladonna!” Coco snapped back, “I get that you are stressed and worried, but you don’t get to tell me that I don’t care about her.”

“I-I’m sorry, Coco, I know you care. I just… I just really feel like something is amiss and I can’t put my finger on it,” Blake said, slumping her shoulders. She felt bad for snapping at Coco, knowing how much the other woman was carrying on her shoulders.

“I know, but come on, Blake. It’s nothing we haven’t seen. If anything, she seems to be doing better than she was few weeks ago, right?” Coco said, laying back down on the couch.

“Shouldn’t you be at the bar right now anyway?” Blake asked suddenly.

“Nah, it’s fine. I trust June to handle things. And Jaune is back, so they should be able to handle everything. I can sit back, relax and count the Lien,” She rubbed her index finger with her thumb, earning a chuckle from Blake.

“It is nice having him back. It’s almost like having a piece of Pyrrha with us,” Blake mused.

“Yeah, like her sock or something.” Coco grinned, earning an undignified snort from Blake, which made her laugh even harder.

“God, I am so glad she is finally going to be back for good,” Blake sighed into her cup of tea.

“Yeah. Makes me think what are Ren and Nora up to. Last I heard, they were going to Atlas, and planned to get to Vacuo from there,” Coco said while wiggling her fingers over her head.

“God, why did they have to go on that around the world stupid trip? I will never understand that.”

“Hey, for once the crazy idea came from Ren. He wanted to study all the different natural medical treatments. Nora was overjoyed at the prospect of them traveling together.”

“I should call him. Maybe he knows some herbal stuff to help Yang or something. Why didn’t I think of that earlier?” Blake stood up pulling out her scroll.

_\- Hello, Blake, nice to hear from you.  
**\- Hey, Ren, how are you?  
**\- Ren, is that Blake? (_Blake could hear some shuffling and Nora’s voice in the background _)  
\- OHMYGOSH, HAI, BLAKE! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!  
(_Blake winced at the loud and excited voice coming from the speaker _)  
**\- Hi, Nora.  
**\- FACE TIME MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!  
_(With a sigh, she knew better than to try and dissuade Nora from anything, Blake turned the video on, and her scroll screen lightened up with a bunch of Nora’s bright orange hair.) _  
\- OH. MY. GOD. It has been SO long since I saw you. Can I see your kitty ears?! Is Coco there? Never mind. BLAKE, LISTEN! We made a snowman! It was soooo big. Like 10 meters at least._ (Blake heard Ren calling out in the background that it wasn’t more than 2 meters, he seemed to be trying to take the scroll away from Nora, but she was holding him back.) _  
\- And Ren was gathering some rocks or something, and then this scary lady threw us off the mountain, because it was military property. We are flying on a military transport right now!  
_(Coco almost head-butted Blake, trying to see the screen of her scroll.)  
**_\- Wait, did you actually get arrested?_** (She and Blake glanced at each other. Anything was possible when it came to Nora _._ Ren finally managed to rescue his phone, and his sharp face appeared on the screen.)  
\- No, we did not get arrested. We volunteered to join the relief transport heading to Vacuo. Maria’s friend, who was teaching me in Atlas, had some military connections and managed to get us in. We are probably going to stay there for a while. So, Blake, what can I help you with?  
**\- I need your advice on something. Or rather someone.**  
\- I’m all ears, we still have a long way to go.

* * *

 

Blake was sulking. Her call with Ren was fruitless. Still, it was nice to hear from him. Blake always liked his calm demeanor. He seemed to possess some kind of aura of tranquility, which made his presence very calming, and they did share the love for books. She was grateful for him to be able to mostly pacify Nora (even though, she did try to steal the phone a few times), whom Blake did not technically dislike, but if she were to be honest, was not her most favorite person in the world. She was too loud and too wild. Everyone always compared her to a tornado, and Blake found herself thinking that sometimes it was way too mild to describe the ginger. Coco left hours ago, Yang would be coming back home soon, and Blake still had no idea where her anxiousness came from. She did call Pyrrha after she was left alone, but she didn’t have much time to talk and the only advice she was able to give Blake was to talk with Yang about what has been bothering her. Sighing and turning the TV she was only half-paying attention to off, she got up and made herself a cup of fresh tea.

 

Entering the apartment, Yang was greeted by Blake sitting at the table, with a cup of tea in front of her, her arms lying over each other on the table and her head resting on her palms. She was watching Yang in silence as the blonde hung her jacket and tossed her boots near the rack.

“Hey,” Yang said, warily getting closer, slightly unnerved by the intense stare of the cat faunus.

“Hey,” said Blake, lifting her head from the table and fidgeting with her fingers. “Can we talk for a bit?”

“Uh, yeah, sure. You want me to make you some fresh tea?” Yang asked, uncertain of the weird atmosphere.

“No, thank you. I’m fine,” Blake said, patting the side of the table near the free chair.

Yang sat down, and for a few moments silence fell on the room while they both looked at each other. After few minutes, Yang started to squirm, unsure of what was happening.

“Uhm, so what’s up?” She tried to make her tone sound as casual as she could.

“Are you okay, Yang?” Blake asked, looking Yang straight in the eyes. It was unnerving her, because Blake rarely did that.

“Y-Yeah, I’m fine, why?” Yang answered with little confidence.

“It’s just… I have this feeling that something is wrong. Ever since I got back I felt something was not right and I feel like I’m going crazy. You do know you can talk to me, right? I know it has been rough for you lately, but please don’t shut me off. If something is wrong, I want you to know you can talk to me, okay?” Blake said, slowly reaching with her hand for Yang’s over the table.

“I… I’m fine, Blake, really. I am,” Yang said, but as Blake’s hand was getting closer, she took hers off the table and out of her reach.

“Yang, tell me the truth. Please,” the faunus pleaded. She was now sure something has changed with Yang, but she still had no idea what.

“I said I’m fine, Blake.” Yang’s voice was raised slightly. She seemed tense and uncomfortable.

“Yang I-...” Before Blake could finish, Yang stood up.

“Sorry, I’m really tired and I need to grab some sleep. I’m fine, Blake. You don’t have to worry about me.” With that Yang made her way towards her room.

Blake clenched her fists and took deep breaths. She had no idea what to do. Something was different about Yang, but she couldn’t pinpoint the cause. Yang said she was fine, and maybe Blake was overthinking it. Maybe the blonde was indeed better. It all just sounded so wrong. She got up and walked towards Yang’s room, gently knocking on the door.

  
“Yeah?” Yang’s voice reached her ears, as she slowly pried the door open.

“Sorry, I just wanted to wish you a good night,” Blake said shyly. She didn’t want to agitate Yang further.

“Don’t worry about it. Goodnight,” Yang said, again with that plastered fake smile of hers. Blake slowly backed out of the room and closed the door.

The moment the door closed, Yang’s smile disappeared leaving a hollow look on her face. Of course Blake would notice. Yang thought she had it figured out. Coco and Velvet bought it. Jaune seemed to be mostly oblivious to anything really. But not Blake. Of course Blake would figure out something was wrong. Yang somehow managed to pacify her through texts and talking over the phone, but it was way different in person and Blake seemed weirdly acute to however small changes in Yang’s demeanor. Yang tried her best to sound okay, using fake smiles and cheerful tones to distract everyone. And it worked on everyone except Blake. Sitting on her bed, alone in the darkness, Yang heard a shuffling sound signaling that Blake already went to bed. Four days. It has been four days.

When she woke up right after the procedure, when the initial haze of anesthesia wore off, of all the things she expected to feel, lightness wasn’t one of them. She felt lighter, as if some color managed to bleed into the bland world surrounding her. She thought that maybe, just maybe, she made the right decision. It was a weird notion. After feeling crushed under the weight of everything in her life, finally feeling lighter was shocking. She shed few tears from relief. And then texted Jaune if he could take her shifts for Monday and Tuesday. When he confirmed it, Yang let out a small laugh. She felt like everything that was happening was too good. She listened to the doctor telling her that it all went without any issues, going through what to except afterwards and how to take care of herself for the next few days. She was free to go, she blatantly lied to the doctor saying somebody would pick her up, that they were just running late. And she was allowed to stay in the room for a while longer.

Her better mood lasted all the way back to the apartment from the clinic, and even the slight cramps and headache she had didn’t manage to dampen it. She made herself tea, and texted Blake just so the faunus didn’t feel the need to check up on her, and went to sleep.

Woken up by a stronger cramp, and the wave of nausea the next day, Yang made her way to the bathroom. It was when she was done heaving, and her grogginess from sleep faded, that everything hit her at once. Yang felt paralyzed as feelings of guilt mixed in with the memories and everything she thought about before crushing her in one sudden sweep. She was curled up on the floor of the bathroom, wailing and shaking violently. She hadn’t moved from there for a whole day. When she finally passed out, exhausted from crying and everything she felt, she found herself trapped in a new nightmare.

_She was bound and gagged, fitted to a slanted table in front of a stage. All the people she knew would come up on the stage and tell her how she hurt them. Ruby, Summer and Tai would ask her, why did she ruin their family. Why couldn’t she just leave them alone earlier? Sage and Scarlet would ask why she didn’t save them. They asked if she knew that their deaths were all her fault. Fox would ask her why did she let him get hurt, standing with Coco who would say that it was her who ruined their relationship. Blake would come up last, asking Yang why she wasted all of her time. Why she made her take care of her when she didn’t deserve it. She would say that her life had been perfect till the moment that Yang appeared in it and ruined everything._  
Every time one of them spoke, a wound would appear on Yang’s body, sending pain through all her being. Every word felt like a stab of a red hot knife. Every question would leave deep gushes on her body. She would try to scream, but it came out muffled by the cloth she was gagged with. All she could do was cry and scream, as everyone took their turns over and over, while on the side she could see laughing faces of Emerald, Mercury, Tyrion and Winter Schnee.  


* * *

 

Yang sat motionless on her bed. Staring down onto the floor, she knew that if she were to imagine herself in her desolate desert mind place, she would be standing right at the edge of the cliff, looking straight down into the abyss, taking in all the twisted shapes that roamed it, with white masks and burning red eyes.

  
**Everything is crashing down around you, you managed to destroy everything you touch. And now an innocent life has paid for another one of your failures.  
**_…_

**You are like a thorn in everyone’s side, spreading poison and disease.  
** _I’ **m** a **p** o **is** o **n**._

**And what do you do with a poisonous thorn?  
** _You… **You** **remove it.**_

Yang suddenly felt clarity she hadn’t felt ever in her entire life. Of course. The answer to everything had been so simple and Yang was so blind the entire time. She knew what she had to do to make sure everything would be alright. To make sure nobody would suffer any more because of her. To make sure she would not be able to mess anything up ever again. The solution was so incredibly simple she couldn’t fathom not thinking about it earlier. Yang was going to remove the poison.

There was no step thundering through Yang’s mind this time, as she reached her conclusion. Only the weightlessness as she fell.


	13. Silent bellow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is it, boys and girls. This is the big one. It's probably the chapter I was aiming for since the moment I thought this story up.  
> It actually feels a bit weird finally posting it. We have reached an important point in the story and I hope I did it justice.  
>  **Word of caution, this chapter may contain a lot of triggers for some people. There are descriptions of violence (not overly graphic, but still) and this chapter touches on other darker tones like abuse and suicide, so take care while reading it.**
> 
> As always, I enjoy all the comments and your support!  
> I hope you guys enjoy the chapter!

_Something is wrong. Terribly wrong._

That was the thought that plagued Blake’s mind. Walking slowly towards the publishing house she worked at, with each step she took, the feeling overtook her more and more. Something terrible was going to happen. As if to confirm her feelings, a thunder roared through the sky. It wasn’t raining yet, but the dark clouds hanging low over Vale threatened a downpour.

Calm before the storm.

 Blake had to stop herself to swallow a thick lump inside her throat and take few deep breaths. The feeling was a familiar one, it was close to what she felt before descending into a panic attack few years back. But why would she feel it now? Her mind went to one thing that it seemed to default at most of the time lately. Yang. Something bad was going to happen, and she couldn’t shake the feeling that it had something to do with Yang.

Coming to a stop, Blake put her palm on her chest. Her heart was racing. Exhaling shakily, she made a decision, turning around she darted back to the apartment.

 

* * *

 

Yang was fine. That’s what she told Blake the night before. So when Blake got up the next day, and started making breakfast, she tried to rein it in, and not go to knock on her door. But when she ate breakfast, drank her tea, and Yang was still not up, Blake couldn’t stomach waiting anymore. She knocked softly on the door, and not hearing the answer, she slowly opened it, peeking inside. What she saw sent a shiver down her spine. Yang was sitting on her bed, exactly as she left her yesterday evening, looking at the floor, smiling to herself. She didn’t notice Blake.

 _Has she been sitting here the entire night?_ Blake thought to herself as she found her voice again. “Yang?”

The blonde flinched and slowly raised her head to look at Blake, and smiled. Blake’s eyebrows shot up because she could swear that the smile was genuine.

“Morning, Blake. I was just about to get up, did you eat yet?” Blake was again taken aback by the tone in her voice. It was almost… lively.

“Y-Yeah, I… I didn’t want to wake you up. Do you want anything?” Blake asked with a slight frown. Yang’s mood swings were starting to give her a whiplash.

“Nah, I’m good. I’m going to eat later. Wanna go for a walk, or are you busy today?” Yang asked, getting up and rummaging the closet for some clothes.

“Wha…? A walk? You wanna go on a walk with me? Like now?” Blake asked incredulously.

“Well, yeah, just let me grab a quick shower and we can maybe go to the park?” Yang asked, and it was hard to question her genuine tone.

“Yang, are you okay?” Blake asked quietly. She had no idea what to make of all of this.

“Yeah, I feel good actually,” the blonde responded. Her voice was more energetic and she appeared to be honest.

Blake didn’t buy it for even a second.

***

Blake sat down on the bench in the park, right next to Yang. It was a bit weird to be back in almost the same exact spot that she and Coco found her being beaten up all those months ago, but Yang seemed not to notice.

“So are you going to tell me what all this is about?” The faunus eyed her companion carefully.

“What do you mean?” Yang asked with a raised brow.

“It’s just... lately you seemed to prefer being all alone and spend your time away from us. I’m just trying to figure out if everything is all right with you,” Blake said, digging the dirt with the tip of her boot.

“I’m good, Blake. I am. I finally figured out what I have to do. I’m good,” Yang responded honestly. For some reason it only made Blake worry more.

After the park, they visited the rooftop over the bookstore and Blake spent most of her time quietly observing Yang, but the blonde seemed to genuinely enjoy their outing.

 

***

Over the course of the next few days, Blake’s confusion only grew. Yang was acting strange but not really. Blake would find her in the bathroom, going through the shelves and cabinets. When asked if she was looking for something, Yang would just shrug.  She would wander seemingly aimlessly around the apartment, checking stuff out, and when Blake questioned her about that, Yang would say “Well, I’ve been here for so long, but I don’t really feel like I’ve seen anything, you know. I don’t know, I just kinda feel like it,” with a smile.

She would go out for walks with Blake, and hang with her at Crosshares, when she didn’t have her shifts. It all seemed normal. And when Coco asked Blake when they were alone, what was up with Yang, Blake didn’t know what to tell her.

 

* * *

 

Yang knew it was finally time, when Blake left the apartment. She knew she had time, because Blake spent the last half an hour angrily explaining to her boss what their client could do with those unexpected crisis meetings. She had everything she needed and she felt incredibly calm. It was time to remove the thorn. To get rid of the poison.

Grabbing her duffle bag from under the bed, she rummaged through it, searching for a bottle wrapped in an old t-shirt and brown paper bag. Once she found it, she carried it into the living room, and set it down on the coffee table in front of the couch. Going back, she muttered “Sorry, Blake.” And entered the faunus’s room, for the second time in her life. Opening the closet, she moved some shoe boxes and found what she was looking for, large wooden box which she promptly took and set on the bed. It was locked, but that also wasn’t a problem. Searching for a proper book didn’t take her too long. It was rather thick and had an additional leather cover, Yang opened it and put her fingers between the original and additional cover, fishing out a key. She opened the box with the key, and started pulling out packs and smaller boxes. Finding what she was looking for, she didn’t bother putting everything else back into the box. It didn’t matter. She grabbed 7 cylindrical containers and went back to the living room, putting it all next to the bottle. She put her hand into her jeans pocket and felt a piece of paper that she put there. Everything was set.

Yang felt calm and collected. Everything else seemed to blur out, she opened the bottle, barely feeling the smell of alcohol. The silence was ringing in her ears as she opened each container and spilled the pills trapped inside on the table. It was like anything except for Yang and the coffee table stopped to exist. She didn’t smell the alcohol, she didn’t hear the pops that all containers made as she opened them. She didn’t hear the noise of the street flowing in through opened balcony doors. The table, the pills, the bottle and her hand. Slowly counting different sized pills, she felt like the outside world stopped existing for her. As she took a handful of pills, she didn’t hear a muffled call of her name. She didn’t hear the rustle of the keys, she didn’t hear the doors being slammed open, she didn’t hear her name being called again and quick thudding steps closing in on her. She did, however, feel a stinging slap to her hand. It took Yang few seconds to notice she was no longer holding a handful of pills, which were now lying scattered on the floor. She slowly turned her head to the floor taking the note of the mess, and then slowly turned it back and looked at Blake standing right next to her.

Her hair disheveled, she was breathing heavily. Tears falling down her rosy cheeks, she was trembling. She choked a sob.

“What. The. Fuck. Are you doing, Yang?!” Blake asked in a panicked voice.

Yang looked at her, with empty eyes. She was too tired for this. She was too close for everything to finally end. She didn’t care anymore.

“Go away, Blake… it’s better this way,” Yang said, her voice quiet and tone emotionless.

“No, Oum, no! Yang, fucking hell, NO!” Blake raised her wavering voice. “Just… just talk to me, please. PLEASE!”

“There is nothing to say,” Yang was done explaining herself. If Blake didn’t want to let her go, she would make her. “Leave, Blake. It’s going to be over soon. And then you can go back to your perfect fucking life, without me screwing everything up.”

“NO! I’m not leaving! And you don’t have to do this. You are not screwing up anything. Just, please, let’s talk, okay?” Blake pleaded.

“JUST FUCK OFF BLAKE!” Yang suddenly yelled, and Blake took few steps back. “Let me do this one right fucking thing in my life.”

“No, Yang! This is wrong. I-We… We can talk about this. We can get help, just please calm down.” Blake’s words seeped with desperation.

“Fuck you! What do you know? You live here, in a nice apartment, you have friends. Screw you, Blake. Just because your boyfriend threw you around a bit, you think you know how I feel? You think few bruises come even close to the pain I feel EVERY FUCKING DAY!” Yang’s knuckles were going white from the way she squeezed her fist. She couldn’t look at Blake. “I MADE EVERY BAD DECISION AND PEOPLE DIED! I hurt everyone I meet. Everyone I care about. I’m a poison, Blake. So shut the fuck up, leave or stay, but let me do the one right thing, so you can go back to prancing around and singing in the rain about your wonderful life.”

Every word soaked in venom, every word meant to hurt. Yang didn’t want to do it, but it’s going to be easier for Blake if she hates her. She hoped Blake would just storm off. She hoped to hear hateful words back. What she didn’t expect was for something to land right next to her on the couch. Jumping slightly in her spot, she looked to the side and her brain stopped. Because it was impossible, right? It was impossible that the things that were lying on the couch next to her now were Blake’s blouse, t-shirt and bra. She jumped again when Blake’s jeans landed right on top of the pile. Yang’s brain was desperately trying to comprehend the situation.

“Look at me, Yang,” Blake said angrily, and when Yang didn’t move she yelled. “LOOK AT ME!”

If Yang’s brain had trouble comprehending what was happening before, when Yang’s head whipped towards Blake, it just flat out refused to acknowledge what Yang saw. Few bruises. Yang felt nauseous, but couldn’t tear her eyes away. Standing before her was Blake. Naked Blake. And Yang couldn’t help but look over her body. Or rather, what was left of it. Yang was familiar with scars. Everyone in the army had them, some more than other. She herself had quite the collection and each was a story to tell. But that... What she saw right now, right in front of her, was too much. There were scars, a lot of them. Everywhere. Yang tried to look at every single one of them, but there was just so many.

Blake’s arms were riddled with small circular scars looking suspiciously like cigarette burns, her shoulders seemed to have been similarly burned, but there were also long thin scars, like something had cut the skin. There was a nasty rugged scar on her right collarbone, which Yang was pretty sure, was a bite mark. There were few short thin scars on her stomach. And when Blake turned around, Yang saw few long thin gashes, her hand had involuntarily wander to her own back and she heard a crack of the whip in her mind. Few thicker and redder vertical gushes, like claw marks cut through the thin scars. Her buttocks had few half circular scars, looking like nail marks. Her legs had several similar nail marks, and few thinner ones, likely made by a knife.  But the ones that instantly had Yang’s attention were 2 nastiest scars. One on her hip, cross shaped, red, with perfectly smooth edges. And the other one, going straight from her right shoulder, through her breast, barely missing her nipple and ending at the height of the belly button.

Blake was standing there gripping her forearm with her hand, shaking, with tears falling down her cheeks.

“You are right,” Blake finally spoke. “I don’t know Yang. I have no idea what kind of hell you are going through. I only know of my own.”

“Two years,” Blake started, her voice quiet. “For two years, every day was a beating, and if I was lucky, I didn’t get another scar to add to my quickly growing collection.” Yang swallowed heavily.

“For two years, the person I thought I loved, tortured me, physically and mentally. Every day I was told I was nothing. That I didn’t deserve anything, that my opinion didn’t matter. Every time I tried to speak up, I would get hit. Every night I had to pretend I enjoyed what he did to me. I talked myself into thinking what he wanted me to think. That I was trash and he was taking pity on me by taking care of me. That I should be grateful to him, because he loved me when I didn’t deserve it. That every bruise, every drop of blood and every scar was my fault,” Blake spoke, closing in on herself.

“It started innocently, you know. He said he loved me and I was charmed. He hooked me on big words, on his ideals. He spoke of the future and faunus finally earning their rightful place as equal to humans. I fell right into his ideology. I felt like I was someone special because he chose me. Because he wanted me at his side. Because he loved me.” She laughed sadly.

“Except soon, he stated turning more and more violent in his speeches. It wasn’t about equality any more, it was about taking away what was rightfully ours by force. I remember it well, the first time he hit me. It was right after his speech in which he said that it’s time we take back what humans took from us, and if blood has to be spilled for us to achieve this goal, then so be it. It was the first time I questioned him, said that this wasn’t the way, and he slapped me. I should have ran away back then, but I was young and stupid, and he came back with a bouquet of roses and apologized, said he was sorry and that he regretted doing it. That he was too emotional from the rally, and I believed him. I loved him after all.”

“After that he was more careful, but every time I tried to question his logic, he would accuse me of betrayal. He would ask why I didn’t believe in him. Did I want to abandon him? Like my parents did, abandoning our cause? He knew that my parents didn’t approve of him, or me being near him. He knew we had a big fight and I left. And after that he did everything in his power to alienate me even more from them,” Blake said, slowly making her way to the couch and starting to put the clothes back on.

“It only got worse from there on. He sent me to rallies, he gave me missions, and every time we failed one, I would get hit. It was after all my fault. He trusted me and I disappointed him. He would say that he is sorry, that he didn’t want to do it, but he had to be tough to teach me to fight for myself. And I believed him again. I felt like he truly did me a favor by trying to teach me. That I actually failed him, because I was too weak,” Blake said, sitting down next to Yang, who was too stunned to move or even look at the faunus.

“The White Fang wasn’t doing that well back then. After a while I forgot how Adam was when he wasn’t angry, ‘cause he was angry all the time. Nothing went his way, and any successes we had didn’t matter. And it was all my fault. I was the one who didn’t support him enough. I was the one who he couldn’t trust. I was the cause of everything that went wrong with every single rally, and every single mission. So he punished me. I deserved it, he told me. And I accepted it.”

“With each, bruise I was losing a piece of myself. I wasn’t Blake Belladonna anymore. I was his property. He started drinking, and he was a mean drunk. Soon he would get angry without any reason and I was there for him to relieve some of his anger. The scar on my hip? The first time he stabbed me there was when I tried to tell him to get help. That he was losing it. He stabbed me with his sword. Yelling I was conspiring against him. The second time he stabbed me was the night I left him. The one that goes through my breast? I got that one when he got jealous, after one rally that he took me to later on, he imagined somebody looking at me. He was paranoid and jealous, and in his drunken haze, he said that he would make sure no other man would ever be able to look at my body with anything other than disgust.” Blake ran down the length of the scar with her fingers through her blouse. She could feel Yang trembling next to her.

“After two years of that I was nothing. I believed his every word, and only begged so that he wouldn’t kill me every night. But then, one night he came back from a mission. I stopped going at those, because I was a wreck, I didn’t eat, I could barely stand, and even my bruises had bruises. I knew it was bad the moment he entered the warehouse we stayed at. He didn’t even drink. It was probably the worst beating I took from him. He didn’t even say anything. He just screamed while he kicked me. And then he stabbed me and left. Without a word. I honestly don’t know where I found the courage and strength to run away back then. But I did. I ran for days. Somehow I managed to get to Argus. There was a storm, I was tired and delirious from the fever I got. My side got infected, since I didn’t have anything to treat it with. I was hiding in an alley and I just wanted to warm myself up. And then I saw it. An open window to one of the buildings. Without thinking much, I crawled inside. And that stupid delirious decision changed my life forever. Because that’s how I met Coco.”

 

* * *

 

“No, no, no, no, no, no,” Coco yelled while she ran to her apartment. She was sitting inside her cab, ready to leave to meet Pyrrha. The storm was going strong that night, but Coco kind of liked it. Until she remembered that she left her bedroom door open. So, in panic, she ran to her apartment, praying it wasn’t flooded yet. Her mother was going to kill her.

Running into the dark room, she almost slipped on the puddle of water. Cursing, she closed the window, and let out an exasperated sigh. She will have to get somebody to clean all this mess. That was when she heard a shuffle and clatter of what she could have sworn sounded like teeth. Slowly turning to the side, she noticed a silhouette of a curled up ball, between the bed and the wall. Slowly backing out towards the desk, she blindly reached with her hand for the lamp, while observing the weird shape on the floor. Once she felt the lamp, she found the switch and the room was flooded with tamed light.

“Whoa there, I don’t know who you are, buddy, but you better leave before I call the cops!” Coco said, noting that the shape of the ball was actually a human curled into a ball. There was no response and the more Coco looked, the more she noticed. It was a girl. She didn’t have shoes, she was soaked wet and violently shivering, and her clothes were torn rags that didn’t offer any protection against the rain, cold or anything, really.

“Hey, are you okay? What’s your name? What are you doing here?” Coco asked, taking a step towards the girl.

The girl finally snapped her head up, her eyes foggy, but wide and darting around in panic. She didn’t say anything, just tried to back further into the wall when she noticed Coco getting close. The girl was terrified.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you. Are you okay?” Coco tried taking another step, at which the girl jolted up and tried making few wobbly steps, before collapsing right into Coco’s arms.

“Whoa, hey! Can you hear me?” Coco gently lowered her onto the bed. _Oum, she weighs like nothing._ “Are you okay? Can you hear me?” She tried waking the girl up, only getting incoherent murmur in response.  Coco touched her head and her eyes went wide. A faunus. Coco noted a set of black cat ears on her head. She was running a rather high fever. _Don’t panic, it’s fine. It’s just a fever, get her in bed, some cold towels and she will be like new._ That was what Coco kept telling herself, until she noticed something wrapped around the girl’s waist. Something looking suspiciously like a dirty used up bandage. She took it off, it almost fell apart in her hands, and then she noticed gashing red wound on her side. It looked dirty and infected. _Okay, now it’s time for panic._

When Blake came to again, 2 full days have passed. Her fever has gone down, courtesy of antibiotics she got, her wound was stitched and packed. And she was dressed in a clean sleeping gown. She was confused as to where she was and why, her memories still very hazy.

“Oh! You are finally awake! Thank Oum, I thought you went into coma or something,” Coco said, peeking from behind the door.

Blake jumped and started scrambling on the bed, trying to untangle herself from the covers, but the sudden jolt of pain made her stiffen and stop struggling. She hissed and lied back down, breathing sharply.

“Whoa, hey, hey, calm down. You are safe. But if you keep flailing around like a fish out of water, we will have to patch you up again,” Coco said, slowly walking into the room, carrying a bowl of soup. “You had a pretty nasty wound on your side, but my mom’s friend patched you up. He also gave you some antibiotics to help with the fever. You must be hungry. I brought you some chicken soup. The doc said it should be okay for you to eat.”

Getting no response, Coco slowly made her way to the nightstand next to the bed. Noticing how Blake shuffled as far away from her as she could, she made sure not to startle the girl. She put the bowl down, and backed off with her hands raised. Blake never let her gaze leave Coco.

“I’m Coco. Gonna tell me your name, or are you mute or something?” Coco asked, leaning on the side of the door. Getting no answer again, Coco turned around to leave. “Oh well, whatever, I guess you can stay till you get better.”

When Blake awoke, next time instead of the bowl of soup she ate (which was like the single best thing she has ever eaten in the history of everything), she found a smaller bowl with oatmeal, a glass of water along with a full jug of it, and a book on the nightstand next to the bed. She was hungry as a wolf, so she inhaled the oatmeal and drank half a jug of water. And went back to sleep. She was exhausted.

Awakened by the ruthless call of nature, Blake slowly got out of the bed. Her body was still sore, and her side stung a lot. Limping to the door, she opened it as quietly as she could. When she was in the middle of a long corridor, her leg gave out and she fell on the wall with a loud thud.

Coco’s head popped out of the door on the right a bit ahead of her. She frowned as she eyed Blake, barely standing on her feet, hugging a wall.

“Well, a ninja you are not,” Coco said, tsking dismissively. She took a step towards Blake who tried to squeeze herself inside the wall and started breathing quickly.

“Okay, okay. I get it. I’m not coming closer. Can you tell me why did you leave the bed? You should be resting, you know,” Coco asked, taking a step back. “If you want the tour of the place, it’s really best to wait till you can take more than two steps without collapsing.”

Blake’s eyes darted around, but she really had no other choice. “B-Bathroom?” she croaked. Her voice raspy, and throat scratching.

Coco’s eyes went wide. “Oh shit, right, bathroom. You need to go the other way. From your room it’s the next door to the right, opposite of your room. “

She watched Blake, limp slowly towards the indicated door and get inside. This was going to be a wild ride.

 

* * *

 

“I did not make it easy for Coco, that’s for sure,” Blake chuckled, wiping her tears. “It took her weeks to get me to talk with her, but she was always so patient with me. I was scared out of my mind. I didn’t know where I was, and what’s worse, I was being taken care of by a human, that I was taught to hate and fight. I was scared that Adam would find me. I wanted to run so many times. But I swear. Back then Coco was like a puppy. She would make this weird scrunchy pleading face. And I found myself unable to leave. It was nice. It was cozy. It felt safe. But then the panic attacks started happening. I would randomly see something red, and it would remind me of his hair, and then I would hear his voice telling me I’m nothing, I’m worthless and that I don’t deserve anything. It was paralyzing. I would freeze up and start shaking, crying ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry’, and my body remembered everything. I would sink to my knees and wait for the pain to come. I knew better than to try and shield myself. He made sure I learned.”

“Coco was so freaked out at the beginning. We were barely speaking back then. I still didn’t trust Coco at all, I would just sit on my knees, shake and cry, mumbling apologies and waiting for my punishment. But it never came. I think it confused me back then, and I would sit like that for half an hour or an hour before Coco managed to bring me back. And I had an adverse reaction to touch. One brush was all I needed to go into a panic attack. I would try to hide and squeeze myself into the tightest space I could find.” Blake fidgeted with the hem of her blouse.

“It took months, I think over a year, before I was finally getting better. I still had episodes, but Coco and Pyrrha, whom Coco introduced me to in the meantime, managed to work out the best way how to help me during them. Coco was always loud and kind of ‘do first, think later’ kind of a person, which made me much more apprehensive to trust her. But she was always there. And she was surprisingly patient with me. She gave me shelter and fed me. She nursed me back to health, as much as she could.  And Pyrrha. God, Pyrrha was an angel. Did you know she dyed her hair?” Blake asked suddenly, and not waiting for the answer, continued. “Yeah, when Coco first introduced me to her, I went into full panic mode, because her hair reminded me of Adam. It took them few weeks, and couple of panic attacks to figure out it was the hair. Or rather color red that triggered it. So she dyed her hair brown. Now that I think about it, it was very bizarre. And it must have been hard for her, because even Coco won’t tease her about it. But she did this for me, and it was so easy to fall into friendship with her. She was so gentle, her voice and everything. I took to her much faster than I did to Coco. They both became my safety net. They were my friends, and they reminded me every day that I was allowed to have that. I was allowed to have people that cared about me. I was allowed to make my own decisions. It drove Coco crazy when I would shut down when they asked me to choose something and I would just silently shut down.

And, well, then it happened. A year passed and slowly I was adjusting into my new situation. I was getting used to my new life. I was feeling free, and Pyrrha even managed to convince me to look into Sanctum’s academy online study courses. I wasn’t really going out at all. Coco’s apartment was my safe space and I wasn’t going to leave it. But of course Coco wouldn’t have it.”

 

* * *

 

“Oh my god, can you, like, shut up and listen to me? It’s going to be fine. We are going to have fun. Come on, Blake. You never go out. Even stupid grocery shopping is like a sprint to and back from the shop. It’s just a coffee shop. It’s fine,” Coco huffed, crossing her arms. They had this debate annually.

“For the last time, I do not want to go out, Coco,” Blake said with a pout. She was tired of having this discussion over and over again.

“Oum, will you chill the fuck out? Nothing is going to happen. You cannot spend your life cooped up in here. You will have to go out at some point,” Coco said, frowning.

“Yes, I can, it’s nice here and I don’t care about outside.” Blake stomped her foot.

“Oh, yeah? What if I kick you out of the apartment? What will you do then?” Coco’s irritation was bleeding through her tone.

Blake’s ears flattened on her head, and she crossed her arms, grabbing her sides. Eyes wide, she started to tremble. One look at the faunus and Coco knew she fucked up.

“I-I’m sorry, please… please d-don’t kick me out. I will… I will do whatever you want. Please,” Blake choked a sob.

“Oh shit, fuck. Blake, no, I’m sorry. Honey, of course I won’t kick you out. I was just frustrated. Come on. Breathe. Nobody is kicking you out, ok?” Coco said, knowing better than to approach her.

“O-Ok,” Blake stuttered, she took few deep breaths and started to calm down after few minutes. “I’m sorry,” she muttered.

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it. It’s just... I think it would be good for you to just go out. Just once in a while. I will be there, and Pyrrha too. We won’t let anything happen to you, ok? Just… Just promise me you will think about it,” Coco pleaded. She really wanted to help Blake, but she had no idea how. She thought that maybe taking her outside would help. But Blake kept fighting her at every step.

It took another month before Coco finally managed to annoy Blake enough that she agreed to go out. Blake was terrified that somebody would see her, that word would reach Adam and he would find her. She had no idea what was happening with the White Fang, she didn’t keep tabs on anyone. She was happy to live inside her bubble for as long as possible. But she also knew that Coco won’t let go. And Blake was scared that Coco may actually get angry with her and kick her out. She knew it was irrational because Coco wasn’t like that, but that fear was injected deep into her, and she didn’t know how to fight it.

And so the day came when Blake and Coco left the apartment, and made their way towards the small café near the outskirts of Argus, right where the old factory district was. And of course Coco in her excitement forgot her purse. And of course she left Blake outside of the café, waiting for Pyrrha, while assuring her she would be back momentarily. So Blake waited. There weren’t many people around, so her anxiety was at a manageable level. After few minutes she felt someone walking up to her from behind, and as she was about to turn around to greet her friend she heard a voice that froze her on the spot.

“Hello, my love,” Adam’s voice cut through her like a sword.

 And all Blake could see was red.

***

Coco was rushing out of her apartment, when she was stopped by her neighbor. A very nice old lady that she was friendly with, often helping her with some minor things.

“Hello, sweetie. I’m so glad your friend, Blake, is making other friends,” the old lady said with a smile.

“What do you mean other friends?” Coco asked with a furrowed brow.

“Well, right before you came in, some young man was asking if I have seen Blake around. I told him you girls went out for a coffee.”

“W-What did he look like?” Coco’s stomach was clenching in all the wrong ways.

“Tall, handsome. I think he was a faunus. And he had red hair. Very similar to Pyrrha’s, actually,” the old lady said, and Coco darted out of the building without saying goodbye.

“Ehh, young people. Always in a hurry,” she said, going back to the building slowly.

***

When Coco got back to the coffee shop, she immediately noticed Pyrrha standing outside and waiting. She darted to her and grabbed her arms. Pyrrha eyed her curiously while Coco caught her breath.

“Well, someone is exc-...” Pyrrha started but Coco interrupted her.

“Where is Blake?!” Coco asked with a panicked voice.

“I don’t know, I just got here, and I didn’t see her. Is everything alright, Coco?” Pyrrha asked.

“No, I-I don’t know. Some guy was at the apartment, asking about Blake. He was a faunus and he had red hair!” Coco desperately looked around. Pyrrha frowned at the information. She could understand Coco’s fear, and while they had no proof of anything, and Blake never told them anything, Pyrrha figured that not taking this seriously wasn’t worth the risk.

“Come on, let’s go ask in the café, maybe they saw something,” Pyrrha said calmly, grabbing Coco’s shoulder and dragging her to the coffee shop.

They asked the waitress and some patrons if anyone saw Blake or the red-haired man, but nobody saw anything. They were about to leave when someone tapped Pyrrha on the shoulder. It was a blond boy, their age.

“I heard you were looking for a guy with red hair right? Faunus?” he asked, looking from Pyrrha to Coco and back.

“Yeah, have you seen him? Or a black-haired girl with a bow on her head?” Coco asked quickly.

“Uh, not sure about the girl, but I saw him, and he was with someone. They were going towards the old factories outside Argus.” The blond shrugged his arms. “Hope you find your friend.”

“Thank you!” Pyrrha sang, and she ran out of the café with Coco on her tail.

Coco was barely able to keep up with Pyrrha. When they reached the old factory district, redhead stopped.

“We have to split up. You take left side, I will go right, if you find them, don’t get close. Call the police and then text me where you are, okay?” Pyrrha said, looking around. There were about a dozen of abandoned factories here, some of them being gigantic complexes. Their odds didn’t look good. Getting a confirmatory nod from Coco, Pyrrha started running towards the nearest building.

Part of the fence surrounding it was torn down, so she got in easily. Slowing down once she got inside, the doors already pried open, she turned on her scroll’s flashlight. She walked around for a minute when she heard a muffled shout and a loud thud. She turned off her scroll, and after typing short message to Coco she made her way towards the noises.

***

Blake was thrown by the force of the hit onto some metal barrels, resulting in a loud thudding sound echoing in the large hall they were in. She felt the metallic taste of blood in her mouth, and with it came back the memories she tried so hard to repress. The pain, the fear, the helplessness. Blake was living in a bubble for the last year and now it burst violently, thrusting her back into reality of her past that she couldn’t get away from.

A heavy kick to her stomach sent her curling up on the ground, coughing violently.

“TRAITOR!” Adam yelled as he kicked her again. “I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING! I LOVED YOU AND THAT IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?!”

He picked her up by her hair and lowered his face so it was right next to hers. She could feel his stench, alcohol mixed with sweat. She would throw up right then and there but she was too afraid and in too much pain to even think about it.

“You thought you were brave when you ran away? When you left our brothers and sisters? When you left our cause? WHEN YOU LEFT ME?!” he yelled again, swinging his fist once more, and sending Blake onto the barrels. She bounced from them and rolled on the ground.

She knew it was over. His kicks broke at least one or two ribs. The wrist he grabbed her by and dragged her here was probably broken. Her whole shoulder felt like it was dislocated, so she didn’t even try to wiggle out her hands, bound behind her back. She knew it was over, because he was here, and he would make sure her death was long and painful, if he allows her to die in the first place. She looked up at him. He was slowly walking towards her, he grabbed a flat piece of rusty metal and swung it like a makeshift sword. Blake was terrified.

“You thought you could leave me? ME?!” he roared at her, his spit flying everywhere. “You thought you knew pain? Oh, Blake. I will show you pain. The only thing you will know for the rest of your miserable life will be pain.”

Blake could feel metal fillings digging and scratching into her arms. She looked at him, eyes full of tears, as he raised his rusty ‘sword’ to strike at her. And then she closed her eyes and waited for the pain to come.

***

Pyrrha heard the shouts before she saw them. And what she saw shook her bones. A tall, lean, red-haired man holding Blake by her hair, shouting at her. Then he punched her, and Blake flew away like ragdoll. Pyrrha started running towards them. She saw him take some piece of metal and walk towards lying Blake. She knew she won’t make it to him, so she lunged towards Blake who was closer. She felt a sharp pain through her whole back as she threw herself on top of Blake. She clenched her jaw and looked straight down into Blake’s amber eyes. They were wide and darting over her face.

“Pyr...rha?” Blake rasped, spitting blood everywhere.

But instead of answering, Pyrrha pushed herself up and turned towards Adam, who backed off few steps, confusion painted on his face.

“Who the fuck are you? Human filth coming to rescue her pet?” He smirked.

Pyrrha glanced at him, and then quickly took stock of their surroundings. They were situated on a raised, wide metal pathway surrounded from both sides by large cylindrical holes on each side. Looking down, Pyrrha saw they reached quite deep into the ground. She couldn’t see what was at the bottom. She tried ignoring the burning sensation on her back. She focused back on Adam.

“Listen, I don’t know who you are, but just go and we will let you leave.” She tried.

“How gracious of you. But I have a counter-offer. How about I make my dearest Blake here watch as I tear you apart, limb from limb, right in front of her?” He spat towards her as he started advancing on them.

“N-no. Pyrrha, run. He’s… he’s going to kill you!” Blake choked from the ground. Pain was fine. Fear was fine. But the thought that either of the women that gave her so much warmth and safety was going to get hurt because of her was unbearable.

“It’s going to be fine, Blake. Don’t worry. We are going to be fine. I promise,” Pyrrha said with determination as Adam laughed.

“Yeah, Blake, don’t worry. I will make quick work of this human bitch, and then we can continue our conversation,” he said, walking confidently towards Pyrrha.

“No! Pyrrha, run! Please!” Blake cried.

Pyrrha didn’t answer, instead she focused on her opponent as she got into a fighting stance. She tried to avoid a confrontation. She gave him a chance to walk away. But if he wanted to hurt her friend, she would fight him. Adam was bigger. He was stronger than Pyrrha. He was also faster, and much more experienced in fighting. But he was also drunk, and exhausted from hunting Blake over Anima. And that was what ultimately saved Pyrrha’s life. He swung at her, expecting an easy hit. He wanted to show her the difference in power. Instead of dodging, Pyrrha stepped in, blocking with her left arm, and throwing her right into his face with all her might. It connected and a loud crunch sounded in the factory as Adam stepped back, unsteadily holding his broken nose. She ignored the sting of pain in her palm.

“You bit-...!” he started shouting. But Pyrrha didn’t wait for him to regain his composure. Swift kick of her left leg to his right knee made his leg give out and he fell, hanging on the guard rail above the cylindrical hole. Not relenting in her attack, Pyrrha finished with a roundhouse kick to his chin, which made him hit the guard rail with the full force of his weight, and as Pyrrha was stumbling back from her attack, the wound on her back messing up her foot work, the railing, after years of collecting rust, fell apart, leaving Adam to tumble down into the hole in the ground. Pyrrha tried to jump and catch him, but she was too slow from just regaining her balance. A loud crash was heard a second after, and a deafening roar next moment.

“IM GOING TO KILL YOU, YOU BITCH! AARGHHHH!”

Pyrrha slowly looked over the hole, seeing Adam lying on his back on one of his arms, the other flailing around, one of his legs skewered by three metal rods coming from the ground, two embedded in his thigh and one in his pelvis. His other leg was bent at a very nasty angle. But he was alive and screaming curses the whole time. Pyrrha backed away from the hole, and made her way towards Blake.

“P-Pyrrha, are you okay? What happened? Where is Adam?” Blake said, quietly sobbing.

“Shh, it’s okay. He’s not going to hurt you, and I’m fine. Are you okay?” Pyrrha said, afraid to move the girl.

“Pyrrha, I-I…” Blake tried to speak, but quickly devolved into sobbing, and whizzing for air. Pyrrha pulled her scroll out and was just about to call Coco, when she saw flashlights in the distance.

“Over here! We are here! Help!” Pyrrha called, standing up and trying to wave her arms, but wincing when she felt her back burn more and more. She knelt back over Blake, but Blake was already unconscious by the time the police officers found them.

***

They were checked into the hospital, and the police took Pyrrha’s statement. She had a large gashing wound through her back from the hit with the metal fragment, a broken wrist and a broken finger from punching Adam. In few weeks she would be good as new. Coco was terrified and quiet the whole time, but otherwise unhurt. Blake, however, suffered the most. Dislocated shoulder, broken wrist, 3 cracked ribs, broken leg, fractured jaw and ruptured spleen. The spleen fracture was the most serious condition Blake had, but after series of tests it was deemed that it may be small enough to heal itself over time. She had to stay in the hospital for few weeks, to make sure there were no complications from her injuries, though. Pyrrha and Coco were pale when they listened as the doctor listed Blake’s injuries. When he asked about her family, Coco said she didn’t have any and they were living together.

“Ma’am, are you aware of the… other conditions?” the doctor asked, and Coco turned her head.

“What other conditions?” Coco asked.

“Well, her ribs show signs of remodeling, in at least seven different places. Her right arm and shoulder have been broken at least twice and not set properly. There is also extremely extensive scarring. We estimate over 15 to 20% body surface being scar tissue of varying age. These are clear signs of extreme abuse or rather torture at this point. I must admit I have never seen a case so severe in my entire career.”

“Oh god,” Coco whimpered, and deflated onto a nearest chair, right next to Pyrrha who was looking just as shocked, with her hand covering her mouth, and tears pooling in her emerald eyes.

“We… We knew something was up. She has panic attacks, but they were getting better, and she hated being touched. But we had no idea that… that it was… Oh god.” Coco started crying. “I- I should go see her, ok? I will be back, but I have to see her.”

“Yeah, of course, go. I am fine. I will join you as soon as I can. Go, she needs you,” Pyrrha said, squeezing Coco’s shoulder.

“Oh god. Pyrrha… It’s all my fault. I made her go out. It’s all my fault!” Coco suddenly realized.

“No, no, no. Stop, Coco. It’s not your fault. Nobody could have prevented this. He would have found her anyway. He was too desperate. If not now, it would have happened sooner than later,” Pyrrha said matter-of-factly.

“Now go and sit with Blake! Let know when she wakes up.” Pyrrha smiled after Coco calmed down a bit, and with a nod left the room.

 

* * *

 

“We were all quite a mess after that. Well, Coco and I at least, Pyrrha was kind of keeping us together. When I woke up in the hospital, I didn’t believe what happened. Coco was there and she cried, and apologized. And I cried and apologized. And we just sat there, for, like, two hours, crying and saying sorry to each other. Then I passed out again. When I woke up the next time, I only cared about Pyrrha. When they told me that she got hurt, and was admitted here, few rooms away from me, I lost it. I was trying to get to her so hard I fell out of bed. My leg was broken, but I was determined to crawl over to her room if I had to. When I passed out again, I waited a whole day before trying again. It took me three days, but I managed, and when nurses found me, curled up in the legs of Pyrrha’s bed, they freaked out and forcibly removed me from it. They had to sedate me, because I was fighting them so hard. After that, it happened two more times. The finally gave up and put us both in the same room”

“When I was finally ready to be discharged, I made a decision to leave Argus. They told me Adam was in Atlas, being treated. The metal bars shattered his pelvis and femur, and he would be lucky if he was able to walk again. His left arm was also broken in 3 places, and his shoulder dislocated. He tore most of his ligaments, and they doubted that he would be able to use his left arm for more than lifting a cup of tea. And even that would be pushing it. The detective in charge of the case told me Adam was facing multiple charges, and even if he somehow manages to avoid the death penalty, he would be locked in one of Atlas’s highest security prisons for the rest of his life. I was free. But it felt like the cost was too high. Pyrrha could have died, and Coco as well. I didn’t want to put them in danger anymore. But Coco found me as I was going to leave and literally begged me to stay. She was apologizing and it was so heartbreaking watching her take on all the guilt, when it was my fault.” Blake chuckled again, putting her knees up under her chin. “We were a mess. both Coco and I fighting over who was blaming herself the hardest. Until Pyrrha yelled at us. She went on a 10 minute tirade about how it was nobody’s fault but Adams, and that she will beat us both senseless unless we shut up, get our shit together and stop this nonsense. Of course she put it so nicely that you just thought she would do you a favor by beating you up. But the resounding feelings kept haunting us for a while. After another year and a lot of therapy in Argus we decided to move to Vale. Coco bought a bar, I got a job in a publishing house, and Pyrrha went off to study in Atlas for a scholarship. And the rest is history, as they say.”

Blake sighed and looked at Yang who was sitting with her shoulders sagged and head hung low.

“So no, Yang. The answer is I don’t know what kind of hell you live in, I had my own. And they pulled me out of it. With blood, sweat and trust.” She turned towards the blonde. “I know it may not seem like it, and I know they may sound like hollow words to you, but you are strong, Yang. You can get through this. But not like this.”

“I am not strong. I am weak and pathetic. I’m not like you, Blake.” Yang sounded tired more than anything.

“You are right. You are not like me. You are much, much stronger. I only ever cared about myself, only wanted to save myself. I only ever thought that the way for us, faunus, is paved with bodies of humans, that’s what Adam engraved into me. You are nothing like me. You spent your whole life helping others. Your sister and mom, your men. Even Velvet. Even at your lowest point, Yang, you still put others first. That takes strength. Strength I had to be taught. You had that from the start. So, please, trust me when I say that you can get through this. We can get through this.” Blake reached out, putting her hand over Yang’s back, and when she started sobbing, Blake pulled closer.

“I can’t take this anymore, Blake. It’s too heavy. It hurts. It hurts so much. What do I do?” Yang asked pathetically through her sobs. She was shaking violently, but Blake held her tightly.

“We get help. I failed you once, that much is clear, but I’m not going to do it again,” Blake said calmly. “This time we will do it right.”


	14. The climb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And I thought last chapter was hard to write. I mean it was but this one... It was so hard to realisticaly portray people reactions to Yang's sucidie attempt. What do you even say? What do you do?  
> I hope that I managed to convey all of that in some small part at least. 
> 
> On the other note i think you guys will be happy to know that even as work those past few weeks is wrecking me, I am up to chapter 16 and (I am so jinxing myself by saying that) I should probably manage to stay ahead with the chapters and keep my weekly posting schedule until the story is finished (which will probably be around chapter 20-ish).
> 
> As always, biggest thanks in the world for my unnamed bat friend! And for all of you guys for your continued support and sticking with me and my story!
> 
> Enjoy the chapter, and comment if you want!

Looking back on this day, in years to come, Yang would remember it all very vividly. It engraved itself, and every little detail, deep into her. She would remember the image that forced itself into her mind of her hanging over the abyss filled with horrors and nightmares with white masks and red eyes, clawing at her feet, tearing off chunks of her flesh, trying to drag her down into nothingness. She would also remember Blake, or at least the image she had back then of the cat faunus. Perched up at the edge of the cliff, knees covering most of her mouth, her whole silhouette shrouded in waving and flowing mass of shadow, with only two pools of seemingly liquid amber looking down at her outstretched hand. That hand that was the only thing keeping Yang from falling into the darkness. Her claws drawing blood from Yang’s arm, while Blake sat there quietly, seemingly unmoving and unbothered.

It would take a long time for Yang to realize how much Blake gave of herself back then. How desperately she fought for her, when Yang herself has given up. Back then, right at the end of everything, Blake did all she could to pull Yang back. But back in that moment, Yang felt like she was being torn apart and she just wanted it to end. She wanted Blake to let go. But Blake never did.

***

“T-There is nobody that can help me, Blake. It’s not worth it,” Yang said, sobbing. She just wanted to be done with everything. She was so close. She had a plan, she made sure it would all go smoothly, but of course Blake had to barge in at the last second. Of course Blake had to figure it out, and of course Blake tried everything she could to desperately try and change Yang’s mind.

It killed Yang. It killed her to see Blake so crushed by something she did. To hear the story about her past, what she suffered through. Yang felt sick, looking at her scars, knowing where they came from. What Adam did to her. And Blake’s pleas tore her apart. Yang knew that if Blake was hurting this much when Yang tried to take her own life, then if she actually succeeded, Blake would shatter completely. It was a bloody battle, a war of attrition. Yang wanted to finally find peace in the oblivion, to sink in nothingness where she couldn’t hurt anyone else, where nothing more could happen to her. But the thought of how much it would hurt Blake and probably Coco, how devastated Ruby would be, and Summer, her mom. Just thinking about how heartbroken Summer would be if she found out, made Yang nauseous. She was being torn apart alive between those feelings and it was much worse than anything she had to deal with till now.

Yang thought she had it all figured out, that she was finally doing the right thing. But was she? She already hurt so many people, making bad decisions all this time, and now she would hurt them so much more by taking her life.

 ** _Would they care, though?_**  She asked herself.

**_Probably not…_ **

It would have been better for everyone if she were gone for good. Once they got over the initial shock and sadness their lives would be better without her to ruin everything.

 ** _It’s for the best if I’m gon-..._** Her downward spiral was broken by Blake who knelt in front of her taking her left hand into her own.

“It’s hard, feeling like you are a burden to everyone, isn’t it? That somehow you manage to make everyone give their time to you, when you are not worth even a second of it. It’s hard thinking everybody’s life would be better without you,” Blake said, looking through Yang, seemingly lost in thought. Yang just stared, letting tears freely stream from her eyes. How did Blake know? How could she know?

“I used to feel like that, you know. Like I was an anchor dragging everyone down. Coco had to nurse and take care of me. Pyrrha got hurt defending me from the devil that came to drag me back into hell. They all took care of me and I hated being so helpless. All I heard in my head back then was Adam telling me how pathetic I am. How much of a bother I am being to them. How I will inevitably ruin their lives as I ruined his. I was the bad luck charm that was responsible for the misfortune of every single person I came in contact with,” Blake said, focusing back on Yang. Her golden eyes were full of unshed tears.

“I know it’s not exactly the same. But I get it, Yang. I understand how it is. So the only thing I can say to you is: I am still here. I survived. I was you, Yang. Like you. And I survived without having even 1/10 of your strength, so please… Please, try with me,” Blake said with high pitched voice, choking a sob, and Yang stared at her as if she were speaking some foreign language.

 _**Like… me? No… No!** _  
_But she understands…_  
_**Blake is nothing like me. It wasn’t her fault. It was all Adam. Nothing of what happened was her fault, but I did everything wrong myself! People died because of me!**_  
_But she does understand._  
_**It doesn’t change anything.**_  
_But she knows… She saw it and survived._  
_**It doesn’t… It doesn’t change anything…**_  
_She survived… So maybe... maybe it does?_

Yang was so deep in thought that she didn’t even register Blake moving her palm to wipe some tears from Yang’s face and she didn’t notice how she leaned into Blake’s palm. She felt the familiar warmth radiating from it, and Blake’s lavender smell mixed with it. And with all of that, Yang’s dam finally broke. She started wailing as she leaned fully into Blake, slipping from the couch. And Blake held her while Yang almost screamed and shook violently, trying to catch breath between gut wrenching sobs that tore through her.

It took nearly an hour for Yang to calm down a little. She was still shaking and sobbing, trying to squeeze into Blake, like it was the only safe place on Earth. Blake sat there quietly through it, shedding silent tears, but holding Yang in a firm grip. This was it. This was the fight.

Once Yang calmed down a bit more, and she stayed glued to Blake, hiccupping and still shivering, she murmured something, and if not for Blake being a faunus, she never would have heard the barely whispered “Okay”. Blake’s heart started beating faster as she tried to decide what to do next. When it came to Yang, Blake developed an amazing ability to shut off everything in her mind that wasn’t useful to the situation, allowing her to remain calm and collected. She could let go later. Yang needed her now and she needed her calm. She needed to be a rock, for both of them.

“Can we move you to the couch?” Blake asked, and when she got a weak nod from Yang, she gently helped them move. She made Yang lay down on the couch.

“Yang, I’m going to clean up and get rid of this mess. Stay here, okay?” Blake asked looking at the blonde curled up on the couch. She seemed so small.

“Okay.” Another barely audible whisper left Yang’s mouth as she lied on the couch and stared straight ahead. Blake quickly gathered pills from the table into her hand, and picked up a bottle and quickly spilled all of it into the toilet. She came back almost running, not wanting to leave Yang alone for even a second. She picked up whatever pills she could reach on the floor, and threw them into the kitchen sink. She would clean the apartment thoroughly later. Once she was done, she stood near the kitchen isle, eyeing Yang. Her anxiety grew because she knew what she had to do next, and Yang’s expected reaction terrified her.

“Yang?” she called, slowly walking towards the couch.

“Yeah?” Yang whispered in response. She kept staring at the black screen of a TV.

“Yang, can you look at me please. I need to talk with you about something,” Blake said, kneeling down at the coffee table, opposite of Yang. When Yang finally looked at her after few moments, she took a deep breath in and braced herself.

“Yang… I said earlier that we have to get help. I have someone that I would like you to see, but first… I… And please try to understand, I am going to call Coco,” Blake said, tensing up.

Yang jolted up on the couch with a panicked look on her face.

“N-no… Please, Blake. I… She won’t forgive me… After everything she did for me I do this and… and…” Yang started with a high pitched tone, eyes tearing up.

“I know how terrifying it is. But Yang, we can’t do this alone. Before I take you to the person that… helped me, it’s going to take time. And I’m scared, Yang. I’m as terrified as you are. That’s why we need help,” Blake said, standing up, and slowly circling the coffee table to kneel next to Yang. She put her hands on the blonde’s knees and squeezed them lightly. “I am here, with you, and I’m not leaving. But Coco is your friend as well, and she deserves to be here, to help. Neither of us can do this alone, Yang, but we are not alone. You are not alone. So please, accept the help we want to offer, okay? I promise that it’s going to be fine.”

They stayed like that for a bit before Yang gave a small nod, still not being able to calm down all the way. Blake quickly recovered her scroll from her bag and went straight back to Yang, who locked her sight on the fuanus as she was making the call.

_\- Hello, this is Coco’s shelter for stray cats. What can we do for you today?_   
_- **Coco, it-...**_   
_\- ‘Sup, Blakey? Shouldn’t you be on your super important meeting right now?_   
_- **No, Coco, listen, it’s Y-...**_   
_\- Did you finally snap, and brutally murdered everyone there, and you are calling me to help you get rid of the bodies? If so, I will do it if you allow me to hire and then fire you._   
_- **COCO! Shut up and listen. It’s important. I need you to get here right now. Drop everything and just come, please.**_   
_\- Blake? Everything all right? I’m on my way._   
_- **Just… Just come, okay?**_   
_\- Yeah, sure, be there in a few._

Finishing the call, Blake sat down next to Yang who immediately grabbed her hand into her own. They stayed like this until Coco barged right in, breathing heavily, and found them like that. Without her glasses on, they could see her eyes darting nervously from one to another. Nobody said anything for a few moments, and as Coco was about to break the silence, Blake stood up.

“Thank you so much for coming, Coco,” Blake said, going to hug Coco.

“You better have a good fucking reason for almost giving me a heart attack, Belladonna,” Coco said, putting up her fists to her sides.

“You should sit down, we need to talk about something,” Blake said, looking back at Yang. Coco raised an eyebrow but went to sit in the armchair, her gaze falling to Yang who was pointedly avoiding looking at her.

“So what did Blondie do this time?” Coco asked, not dropping her gaze from Yang who seemed to try to make herself as small as possible. And Coco might have imagined it, but was she shaking?

“Coco, enough!” Coco’s eyebrows shot up, hearing the stern tone in Blake’s voice.

“What? I didn’t do anyth-…” Coco started to defend herself, but was cut off by Blake.

“Coco, please, just shut up and listen. This is serious, so please, just… Just listen, okay? And don’t get angry, don’t yell. We are going to need you. All of us need each other right now,” Blake said, fidgeting with the sleeves of her blouse.

Coco felt a knot form itself in her gut. The tone of Blake’s voice was one of grave seriousness, one that even Coco dared not to ignore. She put her elbows on her knees, and knotted her fingers together. She gave Blake a nod, signifying that the faunus had her attention.

“Today, Yang… I was going for my meeting, but I had this feeling, so I came back to the apartment and...” Blake swallowed heavily, and Coco didn’t even realize she held her breath. “And I came in on Yang doing something… bad. I stopped her, but I now know that this situation is way above our heads and-...” Blake was interrupted by Coco suddenly getting up.

“Doing what, Blake?” Coco asked.

“Coco…”

“WHAT DID YOU DO, YANG?!” Coco’s raised voice seemed to startle the blonde as she hugged herself, now visibly shaking.

“I… I’m sorry. Please. I’m so sorry, Coco,” Yang pleaded, tears dropping onto her knees.

Coco was now also starting to shake, as a wave of terror rolled through her. She must have misunderstood Blake, right? Because it was impossible that Yang would… would actually try to harm herself, right? Coco wanted to scream, and yell at Blake to tell her she was wrong.

“Coco, please… We-...” Blake started, but Coco silenced her with her palm.

“No, I want to hear it from her.” She pointed at Yang.

“Coco, I don’t think this is a good idea...” Blake tried to intervene, but Yang spoke before she could continue.

“I stole some of Blake pills and... a-and I h-had the bottle of vodka and I…” Yang started saying through sobs, until it got so bad she couldn’t finish her explanation. Coco took few steps back and tripped over the armchair, landing safely into it. The look on her face was utter disbelief. For few moments the only things breaking the silence in the apartment were Yang’s sobs.

It took Coco a couple of minutes to process Yang’s admittance, and during that time she experienced a myriad of feelings going so fast, she could barely register what she was feeling before it was replaced by something else. Shock, fear, anger, disbelief, disappointment, doubt, and fear again. She was about to jump to her feet again, even if she had no idea what to say, but Blake beat her to it.

“Coco, I beg you. I know how insanely hard this must be, but we need you to reign it all in. I need you and Yang needs you too. We talked, and she agreed to let us help her.” Blake swallowed hard, tracing circles along Yang’s back to help her calm down. “I want to take her to see Maria. Could you please arrange that as soon as you can? Please, Coco.”

Coco, with her mouth slightly open, locked gaze with Blake. She couldn’t remember ever seeing such fierce determination in the faunus’s eyes. She suddenly understood what Blake meant by reining it in. Blake was holding it together because it was the only thing she could do to help Yang. She closed her eyes and took few shaky, deep breaths. Coco was never good at holding back her emotions, she usually couldn’t hold it for more than few minutes, if something railed her up. This was different though, it was literally life and death situation, and if there was ever a time for Coco to remain as calm as she could, it was now. Call Maria, help Blake, stay with Yang, and completely fall apart at home. That was Coco’s plan and giving Blake a nod, she pulled down her scroll and selected a number.

While Coco was busy arguing with Maria over the phone, Blake managed to calm Yang down, and with exhaustion finally taking its toll, Yang passed out on the couch.

* * *

 

Coco was exhausted as she walked into her apartment the next morning. She stayed at Blake’s for the remainder of yesterday and through the whole night, both of them taking turns watching over Yang and trying to get some sleep. Neither of them spoke much, and Yang mostly slept throughout the day, only being woken by Coco or Blake as she trashed in a nightmare or for some food. Coco managed to get Yang an appointment that same day, and Blake said she would take her there and stay with the blonde, calling Coco in case anything happened or if she needed help.

Walking inside her home, she was never more grateful to have Fox there. She messaged him, saying she would be staying over at Blake’s for the night because of an emergency with Yang, and she messaged him this morning, telling him to be there when she came back. She knew she’s going to need support, even if things weren’t that great between them. She knew he would be there for her.

The moment Fox heard the rustle of keys in the lock, he got up and started making his way towards it. He was trying not to freak out by whatever was happening, but Coco didn’t say anything, and he knew better than to bother her during the day. He was anxiously waiting for Coco to come back and explain everything, and as he was about to greet her, she straight up slammed into him, clutching to his chest tightly. He wrapped her in a hug automatically, and his anxiety skyrocketed as Coco started to cry into his shoulder. She tried to talk but her face was squeezed into him, and her constant sobs made it impossible for her to formulate anything coherent.

Once Coco calmed down a bit, he led her to the couch and went to make her some warm coffee and some tea for himself. Once they both got their drinks, he sat down and gently put an arm around her waist as she nuzzled into his shoulder.

“Coco, what happened? Is everything all right?” he asked, trying to sound calm, which he miserably failed at.

“No… Nothing is all right,” she said, hints of frustration seeping through her voice.

“Please, baby, tell me so I can help.” Fox rubbed Coco’s shoulder a bit.

“Yang tried… She… Fox, she stole some of Blake’s pills, and she had alcohol, and she tried to… God, Blake stopped her but it was so close Fox… Oum. I… we sat with her, and she mainly slept, and Blake is going to take her to see Maria today.” For the first time in a very long while Coco had trouble speaking what was on her mind. It didn’t feel real. None of it. Coco looked up as she felt Fox tense up.

“She… What? No… No, that is impossible. Not her. NOT HER!” Coco winced at his raised voice. He hid his face into his hands and got quiet. Coco pulled her knees under her chin next to him, and they just sat like that in silence.

Coco was jerked from nearly dozing off when Fox unexpectedly jumped from the couch. He pulled his scroll and went to the kitchen, dictating his message. She observed him with a frown as he went from the kitchen to their bedroom, and then to the bath. She heard him start a bath, and when he returned, he pulled her by her hand to the bathroom. Coco gladly submerged herself in delightfully warm water. She took a long bath, and when she came out, she was surprised to find Velvet sitting on the couch with a cup of tea in her hand.

“Hey, Coco.” The rabbit faunus waved.

“Hey, Velv, what are you doing here?” Coco asked, albeit a bit dejectedly, going into the kitchen to get herself some water.

“I asked her to come. I didn’t want you to be alone for now,” Fox said, appearing from their bedroom, he was ready to go out. “I need to go talk to her, Coco. I have to, please understand.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Fox,” Coco said, slumping down next to Velvet.

“I know… but I don’t know what else to do. I need to do this, Coco. I-I’m going to tell you everything once I get back. I promise,” he said, heading towards door.

 

* * *

 

Blake was waiting anxiously. Coco messaged her about Fox coming over, and Yang was currently curled up into a ball next to Blake, staring into the TV but not watching anything. They were still few hours away from their meeting, and Blake didn’t feel like Fox showing up was going to lead to anything good. She was terrified of how Yang would react, but knowing it would be much worse if she didn’t mention it, she told Yang that Fox was coming over, and that she will try to make him leave for now. Yang seemed largely apathetic, same as she did ever since she woke up at 4am. When she heard a knock, Blake ran towards the door, opening it slightly and blocking the entrance with herself.

“Where is she, Blake?” Was all the greeting Blake got from the rusty-haired man.

“She is resting. I don’t think it’s a good idea to disturb her no-...” Blake started to explain, but Fox slammed his hand onto the door.

“I don’t care. I want to speak with her right now. I swear to god, Blake, either you let me in or I am going to let myself in,” he grumbled.

“Fox, what the f-...?!” Blake started angrily.

“It’s fine, Blake, let him in.” Yang’s raspy voice came from near the table.

“Yang, I really don’t think it’s a good idea,” Blake said, turning back to Yang.

“Blake…” Both Fox and Yang spoke at the same time, although their tones were completely different.

Reluctantly moving away, Blake opened the door and Fox stormed through it. Walking straight towards the table, he tripped and fell down, neither Blake nor Yang moving to help him. He stayed down for few moments before saying something quietly.

“What the fuck, Xiao-Long?” he mumbled, but both Blake and Yang heard him.

“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, YANG?!” Fox screamed as he scrambled up. “I TRIED HELPING YOU, I KEPT YOUR SECRET EVEN WHEN IT ALMOST COST ME MY RELATIONSHIP WITH COCO! I LOOKED OUT FOR YOU AND YOU PULL THIS SHIT?!” Fox’s voice thundered through the apartment.

“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!” he roared. “You were our leader, and you were damn good at it. You were skilled, and you cared about us, and you did everything for us. You took every punch, every bullet for us. You spilled your blood for us. YOU WERE THE ONE PERSON I ADMIRED! You were so fucking kind and you cared about me, even when I did nothing but try to undermine you because I was jealous! AND NOW YOU DO THIS?! YOU WERE CAPTAIN XIAO-LONG! You were supposed to be better than us! You are not supposed to be **this** and try to take your own life! SCREW YOU, XIAO-LONG!” Fox had no idea why he was screaming, he had no idea how to cope with this situation. It was easier to lash out on Yang than on himself. He wasn’t surprised when he felt Blake pulling him back hard. He stumbled for few steps and Blake pushed him towards the door again.

“GET OUT! NOW!” she screamed. “Once you calm down, you can come back and apologize, but for now GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY APARTMENT. Go back to Coco! She needs you right now, and you obviously need her! GO!”

She watched as he left with wobbly steps. That was exactly the disaster she expected when Coco told her Fox was coming. She whirled around to see Yang leaning on the table, as few tears rolled down her cheeks. Blake started walking towards her when Yang raised her head and smiled sadly at her.

“I really fucked up, haven’t I?” she asked quietly.

Blake pondered for a second. “We all did, Yang. We all made wrong choices and now we have to fix everything. But he was way out of line. He shouldn’t have come here and shout at you like that.”

Yang smiled sadly to herself. She looked up at Blake again to find the faunus opening and closing her mouth a few times. She sighed and straightened her back. She knew what Blake wanted to ask. The cat was out of the bag.

“It’s okay, Blake, you can ask,” Yang said, closing her eyes.

“That… That word he called you. ‘Xiao-Long’? What does that mean?” Blake asked quietly, looking at Yang.

“It’s my name… My real name,” Yang answered, looking at Blake’s frowned expression.

“My name is Yang Xiao-Long. Branwen was the family name of my birth mother.” Yang couldn’t help but wince at the mention of Raven.

Blake smiled sadly to herself. Of course Yang would lie about her name. No wonder they never found anything about her online. Blake thought about what exactly that meant for her and Yang. That she finally knew who Yang really was. It would probably be easy tracking down her family now that she knew. She looked at Yang who had the same apathetic look on her face as before. Blake had no idea whether her knowing Yang’s identity was a good or a bad thing, but she decided she could make it into a good one if she wasn’t sure. Blake walked up to Yang, and extended her left hand.

Yang stared at the outstretched limb for a while before lifting her gaze towards Blake’s smiling face.

“It is a pleasure to finally meet you then, Yang Xiao-Long.”

Yang’s eyebrows lifted slightly, as she seemed to consider whether to accept Blake’s hand or not, until finally she grabbed and shook it.

 

* * *

 

They were both quiet during their ride for their meeting. Yang sitting dejectedly and looking at the hand on her lap, and Blake looking through the window, lost in thought. She was not looking forward to what was about to happen. Not only because how hard it’s going to be for both of them, not only because she was afraid of Yang’s reaction, but mainly because the woman they were just about to meet was far from friendly with Blake. She did, once upon a time, help Blake immensely, but it all resulted in nearly antagonistic acquaintance. She knew Maria was going to be furious with her and Coco, and probably Fox and Pyrrha as well. And Blake tried not to let the fact that she probably didn’t take Yang to meet the old woman earlier just because she didn’t like her, crush her. She would swallow her pride and let Maria rip her a new one if it meant she could help Yang.

When they arrived, Yang just sat in the cab, not following Blake out. When Blake peeked into the cab, she heard Yang speak.

“I don’t think I can do it, Blake…”

“I know you can, but Yang, if you don’t do it yourself... For yourself... There is no point. We can go back to the apartment, but we are here, because both Coco and I got help we desperately needed here. If you choose to go back, Yang, I won’t stop you. But this is the only way forward I know,” Blake said, extending her hand towards Yang.

“I… Why is it so hard? I want to move, but I can’t. I don’t think I will be able to move on my own.”

“You are not on your own, Yang. Whatever you decide, I am here. I just hope that you can believe me enough to try.”

“Okay…” Yang said, taking Blake’s hand.

The smaller house squeezed in between two larger buildings looked old from the outside, and the inside wasn’t much different. All that was there was a corridor with one door on the right, few chairs in a row up the wall on both of its sides, and two doors on the left, near the entrance, and one at the very end of the corridor.

The door to the right that Blake led them to was darkish blue, with paint coming off of it, and a singular silver nameplate that said _‘Maria Calavera’_. Blake knocked three times and sat down, signaling Yang to do the same.

“Yang, this is going to be unlike anything you ever experienced, dealing with Coco included. Maria is… A very peculiar person. She means well, but she is gruff and impolite. And she has a terrible sense of humor. Actually, you know what? She is completely insane, so just… be ready for it, okay?” Blake said, her tone growing more and more irritated the longer she spoke, and noticing Yang’s lightly raised eyebrows, she huffed and crossed her arms.

“We don’t exactly get along, okay? But even if we don’t, I trust her to help you,” Blake answered Yang’s silent question. The ensuing silence lasted all but 5 minutes as they both heard shuffling from behind the door, which soon opened a bit and a loud “Come on in” sounded through the corridor.

Blake got up and with a heavy exhale led Yang into a rather spacious office room, scarcely furnished. It only had one beautiful gigantic mahogany desk with an office chair behind it, and near a big window stood two leather armchairs, with a small table near them. All the walls were lined with filled bookshelves.

Yang missed her the first time she looked around. Standing near one of the bookshelves and putting back a book, stood quiet and possibly the tiniest old lady Yang had ever seen. She could barely reach Yang’s waistline, her hair grey and pulled into a tight bun. She grabbed her cane with a stylized skull on top of it, and turned towards the two girls. Yang’s brows shot up as she stared into two vibrant blue saucers that were woman’s eyes. She heard about some cases in which artificial eyes were viable, but she has never seen anything like it. The shutters on lady’s prosthetic eyes narrowed as she took in both of the girls and slowly walked towards them.

“So what brings you here this time, moggy? Your uproarious friend said it was an emergency? What did you two do this time?” The old lady shrieked.

Blake’s ears would have flattened on her head if not for the bow, but she stopped herself from quipping back. Help Yang first, brutally murder a defenseless old lady later. Maria noticed how Blake stopped herself, and the shutters narrowed even more.

“Well? Out with it, girl, I’m not getting any younger here,” Maria said impatiently.

“This is Yang.” Blake gestured at the blonde “We came here, so you could talk her through some things.”

“No.” Maria’s short answer stunned Blake.

“No? What do you mean ‘no’?” Blake asked incredulously.

“I mean, that if it’s this girl here that needs my help, she is going to do the talking, and her and I will talk privately. So out with you. You can wait in the waiting room until we are finished,” Maria said, focusing on Yang.

“Listen, I get that it’s supposed to be private and I should leave, but let me explain the situation, I promised Yang that I-...” Blake started, but Maria cut her off with a click of her tongue.

“No. You listen. I can clearly see how much of a wreck your friend is. And I know how bad it must be for you to come crawling to me for help. But she is the one needing help, and I am willing to help if she herself asks for it. But you need to go,” Maria said undisputedly. Blake bit her lip, turning to Yang. She knew better than to try and argue with the old lady.

“Yang, I… I’m going to be just outside, okay? Just call me if you need anything and I will be here. I promise,” Blake said, and Yang gave her a desperate look that said ‘don’t leave me’, but she nodded slightly. Blake glared at unimpressed Maria and walked out of the room.

Yang hated the silence. She just stood there, rubbing her stump and avoiding looking at the other woman. Maria regarded Yang for a while, looking her over, but after few more minutes of silence she tsked loudly and went towards the pair of armchairs.

“If you ever decide to talk, come and sit with me. If not, you know where the door is,” the old lady said, climbing on one of the chairs. She was so small, that the chair looked like it swallowed her whole.

 ** _This was a mistake. I need to get out of here._** Yang turned towards the door, but right as she took her first step, she heard Maria again.

“Running away is never an answer, kid,” Maria spoke as if to herself. When Yang didn’t respond, she continued, glancing towards the blonde from her chair. “You made it here, which I assure you, I know is not easy. It would be a shameful behavior, unbecoming of a veteran, to tuck her tail between her legs and run away now.”

Yang’s head snapped to the chair immediately. **_How did this old lady…?_**

“Yeah, well maybe that’s exactly becoming of me? For all you know, I might have deserted,” Yang said, her tone harsh.   _Who does this old hag think she is? Assuming to know me. Thinking she knows anything about me. Coming here was a mistake._

“Oh, you may be a coward and you might be running away from something, but I know the look. You fought in a war and you lost, it’s really not that hard to figure out, you know,” Maria said with a bemused tone.

“You do not know anything about me!” Yang almost screamed, turning fully to the old lady.

“Oh, sure I do. You are a wounded puppy, bearing all the weight of the world.” Maria started looking Yang straight in the eyes. “Everyone always thinks they are so misunderstood, that they alone know true suffering. That nobody can help them. They get so caught up in how bad they are feeling, that they subconsciously start fighting against everyone that wants to help them, because they think they deserve it.”

“Wha…? I don’t… You don’t get it!” Yang jerked her head back, not really knowing how to answer Maria.

“Listen, girl, can you sit down in the chair? I don’t mind arguing with you, but it’s very uncomfortable looking at you from all the way back here,” Maria said dismissively.

Yang wanted to leave. She wanted to run out of here, screaming, but when she looked at the door, she thought about Blake sitting there. She didn’t want to meet Blake out there, looking all disappointed. Yang was feeling caged. But thinking of Blake seemed to instill something in her. Blake was clearly as uncomfortable being here as Yang was. She clearly didn’t like the old woman, and the old woman seemed to share the sentiment. But Blake swallowed her pride, she allowed Maria to quip at her and she made sure Yang would get the chance to talk with the old woman. Yang was scared and annoyed. She was tired of constant struggle inside her. But she was also tired of disappointing everyone in her life. 10 minutes. 10 minutes was the time she would give the older woman before she left this pointless meeting she decided. Not for herself. For Blake.

Hesitating slightly, she made her way towards the other armchair and sat down at the edge. She didn’t want to get comfortable, since she was going to leave in few minutes. She gave Maria a once-over. The older woman looked really unimpressive, aside from her gigantic prosthetic eyes.

“So is that your trick? Read minds like some kind of psychic? You seem to think you know everything about me. What exactly is it that you do here?” Yang started mockingly.

“Isn’t it obvious, little girl?” The older woman chuckled. “I help lost things find their way home.”

 


	15. By the skin of your teeth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> Turns out writting about aftermath of trauma, and the healing process is the real hard stuff. It's unfair how much easier it was to make Yang fall deeper and deeper into pit of despair than it is to try and figure out how to reverse all that in a realistic way, and then to pace it properly. Good God. In my plan, the part after the suicide wasn't very detailed (And I am way off plan right now anyways) and I severly underestimated how complex untangling such a story can be. One more lesson for the newbie I guess.  
> I am trying my best tho and I hope you guys enjoy this chapter as well!
> 
> As always have fun reading, leave a comment if you wish so, and see you all next week!
> 
> P.S  
> I'm still ahead, I hoped to write some more this past week but work is being a bitch. I am double jinxing myself here but I am pretty certain I can manage to either finish, or get really close to finishing the whole story soon!

Yang was getting jittery. This was ridiculous. They had been sitting in those stupid chairs for what felt like hours, but in reality was not more than 5 minutes. The old lady seemed like she dozed off, her breathing calm, and shutters on her eyes closed. Yang couldn’t take the silence any more.

“Are you seriously just gonna sit here all quiet? I thought you had stuff to say or whatever,” the blonde asked impatiently.

“Five minutes, huh? You have a short fuse, missy,” Maria chuckled at the sight of Yang’s open mouth. “Relax, kid, I was just yanking your chain. I’m good at that, you know.”

**_Is she for real? Blake was right, she is completely nuts._ **

“Listen here, kid. I am going to talk to you but I have 2 conditions before we start any of it. Agree to it and we can continue this, don’t agree and you can walk out that door right this second,” Maria continued.

“You are giving me conditions? I thought you were supposed to fix me or something!” Yang was getting irritated. Even through her apathy, this little woman seemed to be able to push every single button Yang had.

“I am not about to waste my time on somebody who does not want to at least try and be helped. I have better things to do and better people to help. So my conditions are as follows: I will do everything in my power to help you, if you promise me that you will come back after you leave today. And the second one is: You speak the truth no matter what. If I get a whiff, or even a feeling that you are lying to me, we are done.” Maria raised two fingers, one for each condition. “Agree or leave. You have one minute to decide.”

“Wha…? I-I don’t…” Yang was stumped by the sudden time limit. It would be so easy to just leave, and yet something kept in her seat, urging her to stay. This woman in front of her was such a bizarre creature. She seemed to be crazy, but maybe crazy was just what Yang needed?

 ** _It’s pointless… She won’t be able to help, no one will._**  
_Then why even consider staying?_  
_**It’s… I-It’s for Blake. Yeah… For Blake.**_  
 _It’s just words. Nobody will force me to come if I don’t want to. A promise is nothing if not breakable._  
 _**Yeah… Yeah. I can promise, and when it will become obvious it’s not working, maybe then Blake will finally let me go.**_

“Okay,” Yang said.

“‘Okay’ what? I wanna hear you say it,” Maria said impatiently.

“I promise I will come back.”

“And?”

“I promise I won’t lie.”

Maria was quiet for a second before sighing.

“Since I am feeling particularly gracious today, I will give you another chance. But that is the last one you are getting so choose your next words carefully,” Maria said, and this time she was serious. “I will know when you lie. It is my superpower, girl, bigger people than you tried to trick me. And at the state you are in, I can read you like a book even when I can barely see you.”

Yang was stunned and just stared at the old lady.

“One. Last. Chance.” Maria punctuated every word. “Let’s hear it.”

Yang swallowed heavily, the change in atmosphere was incredible. Yang marveled at how scary the little lady seemed now. Gone was the feeble tiny old woman. She was a beast, bigger and more dangerous than anything Yang has ever encountered. Yang was screwed. Whatever that old lady was, Yang realized then and there that she either agrees to Maria’s conditions truly, or she will get kicked out. She was battling with her thoughts, somehow having a feeling that once Maria sinks her teeth in her, she won’t be able to run anymore. It terrified Yang. But running away from something again terrified her as well. Ignorant to the passage of time, she sat there as minutes passed, not noticing a slight smirk on Maria’s face.

Lowering her head, Yang decided then and there. She had nothing left to loose, and nothing mattered anymore.

“I promise,” she said quietly.

“I guess that will do for now. You might as well get comfortable, we are going to be here for a while,” Maria said, knotting her fingers together. “Just pick a place and start talking.”

“Any place? Shouldn’t I start at the beginning?” Yang asked.

“Beginnings are usually a good place to start, but honestly it’s best to just start from any given place and work our way from there,” Maria explained.

Yang sank into the armchair. What does she say? Where does she start? There seemed to be so many beginnings for her. She had no idea how any of this worked. It took her over 10 minutes to finally come to a conclusion that she had no inkling of where to start. Sighing, she decided her latest beginning would do as well as any other.

“I guess then… I was sitting in a park one day, few months ago...”

 

* * *

 

Blake was almost dozing off on the very uncomfortable wooden chair right next to the door, when the door opened, and Yang walked out the room.

“She wants to see you.” Irritation was seeping from Yang’s voice.

“What for?” Blake asked, slowly standing up, eyeing Yang carefully.

“I don’t know. She interrupted me, told me we are done for today and told me to fetch you on the way out.”

Blake looked at the door and back to Yang again. Deciding it was best to have whatever Maria wanted from her done. She entered the room and closed the door behind her.

“You wanted to see me.”

“Oh no, right now I really do not want to see you. But I have to.  I told Yang to come back day after tomorrow at 9. And you will bring Yang, and Coco with her blind soldier boy, and your gigantic Amazon friend.”

“What? You can’t just ask me to make everyone come here at such short notice. And Pyrrha is not even in the country,” Blake said incredously.

“Fine! Then bring everyone you can as fast as you can, just call before showing up. It’s mainly you and Adel I want to have here next time. Do I make myself clear?”

“Fine! Whatever. I will be sure to tell Coco, and she will call you. Can I go now?” Blake said, already peeved.

“Yeah, scram away.”

Blake huffed, and left the room, grabbing Yang’s hand and dragging her out of the building. Even though it was still early spring, the weather has already been warming up, so once they left the dimly lit building, they were greeted by a bright sunny day. They both waited in silence for the taxi, and neither of them said a word until they entered the apartment. Yang told Blake she was going to her room to take a nap, and even though Blake was very curious about her talk with Maria, she didn’t want to press the blonde for anything so soon.

***

The sound of knocking tore Blake away from her book. She got up from the couch and went to the door, her brow rising in surprise as she found Coco standing outside. Blake knew something was off, because first of all: Coco was entirely unaware of the concept of knocking. Always barging in everywhere, like she owned every single place they visited. Second of all, Blake knew Coco for a long time. She knew how Coco usually was, and right now she was anything but her usual self. Blake ushered her inside quickly, and made Coco sit at the table without a word as she made tea for them.

They sat in silence, sipping tea, and Blake just waited for Coco to be ready to talk. Coco finally spoke, right after she finished draining her cup.

“He told me everything.”

“He? You mean Fox? What did he tell you?” Blake asked, frowning.

“How he lost his sight because he went on a mission behind Yang’s back to score some favors with some big wigs in the army. He was jealous that he was passed up for the command of their unit. Yang got the job and they made him her second-in-command. They were escorting dust convoy, but somebody lied or gave them wrong information and there was some heavily polluted dust in the transport, and when they were attacked, it all exploded literally in his face. Yang’s unit came and saved them at the last second. Apparently he and Yang got into a fight, when he was in a hospital and just got the news that he was going to become completely blind because of the dust particles that slowly degenerated his optic nerve. There was nothing the doctors could do. Yang apparently blamed herself for all of it and he was happy to let her take the blame. He said so many horrible things to her back then. Oum, Blake, it was… It wasn’t the Fox I know,” Coco said, inhaling deeply to calm herself down. “Once he started going blind and started going to therapy, he realized how much he fucked up, but he didn’t have enough courage to reach out to her and apologize. And then I met him, and he just buried all of this and never spoke about it.”

Coco’s lips were forming a thin line. “He also told me her real name, so it was fun to find out he was hiding it from us all this time,” Coco said as she gripped her mug so hard, her knuckles went white. “But the worst part was… Blake, Pyrrha knew about Yang as well.”

“What?!” Blake stood up.

“Yeah… Apparently she studied with Yang’s sister in Atlas,” Coco said, her voice shaky. Blake just stared. “Fox… He-He told Pyrrha not to tell us, because he believed we would track them down and force Yang to confront them.”

Coco finally raised her head to look at Blake, and Blake’s heart shattered at the devastated and heartbroken look on her friend’s face. Eyes full of tears, Coco started sobbing.

“They lied to me… he made her lie and she agreed, Blake.” Coco cried into Blake’s shoulder as the cat faunus immediately enveloped her in a hug. “Pyrrha is my best friend and she did something like this, and Yang tried… It’s all my fault, Blake.”

“No, it’s not! It’s not your fault, Coco. It’s going to be okay. I promise.” Blake tried to soothe Coco.

“No, it won’t. If I wasn’t like that, they would have never done what they did. They were just afraid of Adam repeating all over again. It’s all my fault.”

Blake pulled out of the hug and held Coco’s shoulders firmly.

“No. We have been down this road before. What happened with Adam is on him, and why Fox and Pyrrha chose to do what they did is on them. We will figure this out, honey, I promise. It will all be okay.” Blake hugged Coco again. She was so absorbed into trying to help Coco calm down, she didn’t hear the silent squeak of the door opening, and few silent steps following, until Yang spoke up.

“Coco, I…” she started, her eyes watering fast. “I am so sorry. I never meant for any of this. I am so, so sorry!”

Blake and Coco both snapped their heads towards the blonde. She stood there, with shoulders slumped and tears starting to stream down her face. Coco tore herself away from Blake, and headed to Yang with sudden determination. Yang closed her eyes and winced, expecting Coco to hit her. Her eyes shot open as she was enveloped in a tight hug by the smaller girl.

“Please get better, Yang. Don’t waste all of this. Just promise me you will get better and that everything is going to be fine. Please,” Coco pleaded.

Yang was so shocked, she couldn’t respond for few moments, but after she locked gaze with Blake, she returned the hug and whispered “I promise.”

This time, unlike that first time with Maria, she actually meant what she said.

 

* * *

 

Four days have passed since Yang’s first visit with Maria.  As per the old lady’s request, Blake told Coco she wanted to see all of them along with Yang as soon as possible and after some back and forth between the Blake, Coco, Fox and Maria, they agreed to meet in a week’s time, during which Yang would meet with Maria normally until all of them gathered at Yang’s meeting. Maria explicitly stated that Yang shouldn’t be made aware of any of this, so they all kept quiet even though Blake hated keeping something like that from the blone.

The passing week was uneventful (something that Blake was eternally grateful for), aside from Coco and Velvet dropping by the day before. Coco was currently staying with Velvet and Yatsu, and she hasn’t spoken to Fox or Pyrrha ever since their talk. Yang seemed to continue being apathetic to most things, although she did cry a few times apologizing for everything, while letting Blake comfort her. She visited Maria twice during the week and Blake was starting to get worried because the blonde didn’t seem to be doing much better.

“How are you feeling, Yang?” Blake asked, eating her breakfast.

“Feels like I made a mistake by allowing you to talk me into all this,” Yang said, shrugging her shoulders. Blake felt a pang of hurt in her heart, hearing the emotionless tone and daring to hope that it would get better soon. The faunus was frustrated because there was nothing she could do aside from waiting and letting Maria do her job. Hoping for the best, Blake ate her breakfast in silence.

***

Finally the day has come when they scheduled their gathering at Maria’s. Coco and Fox arriving separately after Yang had already been in her session for about half an hour. Fox wanted to talk to Coco, but was stopped by Blake stopping him and saying “Not now. Please.”

Blake got up and knocked on the door, peeking in to inform Maria that they were here.

“I will call you in a minute,” the old lady responded, jumping from the chair and ushering confused Yang to follow her. Nobody ever interrupted their sessions before.

“Come on, Yang, stand in the middle here,” she said, pointing to the middle of the spacious room with her cane. Yang had no idea what was going on but she listened and tracked the old lady as she went towards the door, thanking whatever god there was for a little break, because Maria managed to irritate her significantly already in those 30 minutes.

Yang’s eyes went wide as Maria led small procession of Blake, Coco and Fox into the room and made them stand in row in front of Yang.

“Now then. Yang, you do not speak until I say you can, do you understand? Your job is to listen, got it?” Maria asked Yang, and when the confused blonde gave her a nod, she turned to Blake, Coco and Fox.

“I usually don’t do this, but this situation forced my hand.” The old lady started with a grimace.

“Are the three of you out of you minds?” she asked in a harsh tone. They all jumped at the sudden raise of her voice. “Did any of you actually think about any of this before doing what you did? Because, frankly, it doesn’t seem so, seeing as a semi-intelligent person wouldn’t do anything as incredibly moronic as you all did.”

Maria looked at every single one of them before continuing.

“You are all either much bigger idiots than I gave you credit for, or you did it knowingly, which makes it about ten times worse,” she said while marching back and forth between them and Yang. “What you three did to this girl is inexcusable and you all should know better after everything you have been through!”

Coco, seemed dejected, Fox ashamed, and Blake took half a step back at the angry words. It was their reaction that prompted Yang to try and say something.

“Stop that! All they did was try to help me! They did nothing wrong, it’s my fault-...!” she started, but was quickly interrupted by Maria slamming her cane onto the floor.

“Enough! You be silent, girl. They may have tried to help you, but in all the wrong ways, and more importantly, from all the wrong reasons,” Maria snapped at Yang.

“You tried to help her to feel better about yourself,” she said pointing her cane at Blake.

Coco winced as Maria moved towards her.

“And you just can’t help yourself, can you? Losing your temper all the time and trying to force things. I thought that after everything that happened to Belladonna, you learned something.” Maria almost stabbed Coco with her cane.

Fox didn’t have to see to turn his head away from the rest of them, not wanting to face any of this now.

“And you. I honestly expected better. But instead of just apologizing, asking for forgiveness or just simply talking to any of them, you choose to lie to everyone to quench your guilty conscience,” she said, stopping in front of Fox.

“We tried to help as best as we could!” Blake suddenly yelled. Unshed tears shining in her eyes, and fist clenched tightly.

“Then why did it take this poor girl trying to take her own life, for you to finally come to your senses and take her to see me?!” Maria roared. Blake looked like she was slapped. “You should have called me the moment you took her in. I helped each and every one of you once. I honestly expected more. I taught you better. I expected you to be better.”

The silence that befell the room was thick enough to be cut with a knife. Nobody said anything, even Yang gave up, after opening her mouth few times, and being silenced by a deadly look from Maria.

“I understand you all had good intentions. But you went about it in the worst possible ways,” Maria said with a calmer voice. “But that is all in the past. Now, I expect each and every one of you to man up and apologize to Yang here.”

Yang’s head snapped towards the little old lady, and her mouth fell open. This was ridiculous.

**_I should be the one apologizing to all of them. I messed everything up. It’s all my fault!_ **

She was about to say something, but Coco beat her to it.

“I’m… I’m sorry, Yang. Maria is right. I should have known better.” She looked at the blonde with a desperate look. It seemed to jolt Fox awake as well.

“I-I’m sorry as well. I was a coward and all of you deserved better. I should have never said all those things back in the hospital, Yang. What happened to me was my own doing, not yours. You only ever did right by me, and I failed to live up to the uniform I was wearing, and to your kindness. I just hope one day you will all be able forgive me.” Fox hung his head down as he spoke nervously.

Maria looked expectantly at Blake, who was hugging herself and avoiding looking at anyone in the room.

“Blake, it’s okay. You have nothing to apologize for. You were always there for me. You did nothing wrong,” Yang said, her voice shaky, but this only made Blake hug herself tighter and turn her head even further away from them.

“No, Yang. Maria is right. I… at the start I wanted to help you, to prove to everyone and myself that I can do something good instead of just messing everything up. I was using you to help myself, more than I did it for you. I only realized how hard it would be once you stayed at my house for a bit. I even spoke with Coco few times about how incredibly overwhelming it felt and that I had no idea what to do. I should have swallowed my pride then and there and convince you to get the help you needed. The help you deserved. But I didn’t. I was selfish and I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I realized everything too late. I… I meant well. I’m so sorry, Yang,” Blake said, sniffing loudly and trying to hold herself together.

They all seemed down and seconds from falling apart. It was too much for Yang. Her legs gave out, and she fell to her knees, shaking and sobbing. It seemed like she spent most of her time these days crying, even though they all said those things, she still felt like it was all her fault. But listening to them admitting things she wasn’t sure she would be able to admit if she were in their place, made her soul drown in overwhelming emotion she was not equipped to handle currently. So she sat there, crying, as Blake almost tackled her into a hug. They were all a mess and they all needed time to calm down, but after few short moments, Maria threw all of them but Yang out of them room. She helped Yang get up and led her to their chairs.

“Once you calmed down, I would like you to tell me about your earliest memories you can recall,” Maria said as Yang glared at her, being curled into a ball on her armchair.

“Why did you make them do it? None of this is their fault! I’m the one that should be apologizing!” Yang said angrily.

“I did it, because while you are not entirely blameless, you deserved their apologies. And whether you realize it or not, they needed to say it too. For themselves. It’s important to take care of yourself, Yang. Something you clearly have no notion of doing since probably ever. Now you can sulk all day, or you can suck it up and start talking.”

Yang huffed angrily, but started talking about her oldest memory.

It was a long session.

 

* * *

 

Two weeks have passed since Yang’s attempt at her own life. She went to see Maria every other day. Maria claimed, Yang had more stuff to sift through than there was snow in Atlas, and she wanted to know everything as soon as she could. The old lady convinced Yang to go back to work, and it at least gave Yang more things to do, other than looking at the ceiling in her room, or pretending to watch TV. The routine also helped her to stay grounded. Blake seemed to relax a bit more, slowly convincing herself that Yang won’t actually try anything stupid again. Coco was depressed and still staying at Velvet’s. She started hiding out in her office during work, and rarely left it until she went home. Outside of work, she seemed to spend a lot of time at Blake’s apartment. Blake checked up on Fox from time to time and he seemed to be managing about as well as Coco. Maria was annoyed because she suddenly got assaulted by all of them asking for her time.

“So, Yang, a little bird called Coco made me aware that you are in a possession of a rather advanced piece of technology, that you could use to make your life twice as easy, but you refuse to do so. Mind telling me what this about?” Maria asked, noticing how tense Yang became.

Yang has long learned not to try and bullshit Maria, but she was extremely apprehensive to talk about her prosthetic.

“What exactly did she tell you?” Yang asked, hoping that Coco didn’t blab everything out.

“That you have a pretty cool prosthetic, that you’ve used before, but refuse to now.”

“I… I do.” Yang hesitated.

“Why refuse to use it?” Maria inquired.

“I… Do you remember when we talked about how I almost hit Ruby? I-I had my prosthetic on back then, and if I hit it with her, I could have seriously hurt her. And Summer, when I attacked her, if I had it on back then, she would probably be dead. I got it for free because of Ruby and my military service, but I can’t wear it. I don’t deserve it if I’m only going to use it to hurt people. I just… I can’t,” Yang said, playing with the armrest.

“I would like you to come with it put on next time, Yang,” Maria said after few seconds of silence.

“Haven’t you heard what I just said?! I can’t wear it! I hurt people. I can be violent. I cannot take the risk of hurting Blake like I did my own family. I won’t do it!” Yang raised her voice.

“As far as Coco said, you were never violent towards them. Even in your nightmares. And even then you said it yourself, that you told them about what happened. Blake knows better than to try to hug you during your nightmares and it’s not like you are going to become a maniacal killer once you put it on, Yang. It’s just an artificial limb. It will do what you tell it to,” Maria said with seemingly bored tone. Like they had this conversation hundreds of times already, even if it was the first time her prosthetic came up in their meetings.

“You don’t get it! What if I can’t control it? What happens, when I lose it on a busy street and start attacking random people in my panic attacks?! You couldn’t possibly understand how it feels!” Yang stood up from her chair.

Maria eyed Yang before knocking on the rim of her prosthetic eyes.

“I know exactly how you feel, girl. You are not the first person to have trouble with losing a limb, or trouble with accepting a prosthetic. It’s very common, and while your fears aren’t as common, it’s still just a piece of metal, Yang. You are afraid of something bad happening so much, that you can’t even see how much more good it could do. How much it would improve your life. You can’t let your fear stop you from becoming whole again. Don’t let it control you, Yang. It leads to nowhere. I understand why you are afraid to use it again, but you cannot overcome this hurdle without jumping through it. And you start by putting it on. I’m not telling you to wear it all the time. Bring it here, put it on in this room for few minutes. That’s all I’m asking.” Maria jumped from her armchair and slowly walked towards Yang.

“Yang, I don’t want to see you again until you are ready to take this jump,” she said, patting the blondes back, ushering her to the door. “Take your time, even if it takes a week or two.”

As the door closed behind her, she looked at Blake who observed her from over her book.

“Are you okay?” the faunus asked.

“No.” Yang’s answer was quiet, she could already feel her stump burning.


	16. Two arms to lift yourself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome you wonderful people!
> 
> So this chapter was a surprise because of a few reasons.  
> 1\. I wasn't sure how I wanted to proceed from the last chapter. Thankfully my amazing bat friend/editor/ideabouncingwall gave me an amazing idea. (i really need to give her a raise)  
> 2\. It's way longer than I intended (it still boggles me to no end how bad I am estimating chapter length before I write it.)  
> 3\. It may be my favorite chapter that I have written so far.
> 
> I do, as always, hope you guys enjoy the chapter! (HA! I am stil ahead muwahahahaha!)

“This is ridiculous! She is ridiculous… No, you know what? She is crazy, that’s what she is.”

Yang paced back and forth in front of the couch in Blake’s apartment. It has been her favorite pastime those last 3 days, which she either spent pacing while throwing frantic looks towards the lower part of one of the bookshelf cupboards in the living room, where Blake hid her prosthetic a while back, or pointedly avoiding the living room and doing everything in her power not to be in the apartment. Yang was so lost in trying to pace her way to the apartment below, that she didn’t notice two amber gems watching her from above the edge of the book.

It was a slight change, nothing major or important. But it was something. While Blake wasn’t sure she would qualify that as progress, Yang seemed to be livelier since her last meeting with Maria. Granted it seemed that she was a jumbled mess of frustration, fear, anxiety, and confusion with a side of anger, but it was still nice to see the blonde being anything other than uncaring and apathetic. Blake would probably appreciate it more if not for the fact that she herself was struggling with her own cocktail of emotions. Ever since Maria forced all of them to face Yang and apologize to her, the faunus has been feeling a bit depressed. While the old lady was mostly right about the reasons they each tried and failed to help Yang as well as the need to apologize for that, it made Blake realize so much more about herself than just about Yang.

The cold feeling of guilt brewing in her gut wasn’t new, and she hoped she managed to get past it way back, after the whole Adam ordeal. But low and behold, all it took was few words from a crazy old lady, and all the feelings she thought she dealt with to come back again. It wasn’t as bad as in the past, but it made her realize that there were still issues she had to resolve, and that she tried to use helping Yang  as a means to that end. She needed to talk to the blonde about this, but she was hesitant to put more on her plate than she already had to deal with.

Blake was losing her confidence as well as the calmness that she managed to force in her mind, and she knew that without those things she won’t be what Yang needs her to be right now. She promised herself to this time do right by Yang and truly focus on helping her. But for that she had to resolve some of the things that hung around her like her own personal rain cloud.

“Yang?” Blake called out from the couch she was perched on, knees brought up high, with her book on them. Yang kept pacing around, too distracted to hear her name being called.

“Yang!” Blake tried louder, putting the book away.

“What?!” Yang snapped and immediately frowned upon realizing that Blake had been trying to get her attention. “Sorry, I got… A little distracted.”

“Yang, I… I wanted to ask you something,” Blake said quietly, wrapping her arms around her knees.

Yang’s brows lifted a little, “What is it?”

“Are… Are you mad at me?” Blake’s eyes shimmered as she hugged herself tighter.

“What? No! Why would I be mad at you?” Yang answered, brows now lifted fully as she stopped dead in her tracks.

“Why aren’t you?” Blake asked, looking down on the coffee table.

“Blake, what is going on? Is everything okay?” Yang said, taking a step closer and slightly lifting her hand as if to try and touch Blake, but the faunus turned her head away from the blonde.

“I just… Ever since three days ago, the apology, I… We apologized, and you cried, and I get it, because it was really hard to admit all of that and I know it must have been hard to listen to it as well, and it is our fault that it got that bad, and I wouldn’t blame you if you were mad at me because I deserve it, and...” Blake started a bit louder this time, but Yang stopped her rambling by dropping down on the couch next to Blake and wrapping her in a one-armed hug.

“It’s just, we hurt you, I hurt you, and I know it’s not all my fault, but… But a big part of this situation is. I tried helping you from all the wrong reasons and it only hurt you more, and I never meant it and I’m sorry.” Blake’s eyes were starting to fill with unshed tears and she tried to turn away from Yang, but the blonde only squeezed her shoulder in response. They were both quiet for couple of minutes.

“I’m not mad, Blake, because even if it was selfish, you gave me a lot. A home, a friend and safety which I needed so much. Even if it might have been because you had other reasons, it still doesn’t change everything good you gave me. I can’t blame you for anything, you were trying to help yourself by helping someone else and there is nothing wrong with that. And yeah, you might have fucked up, I’m not the one to judge, but so did I. I have made so many mistakes, Blake, and you over and over again looked past them while trying to be there for me even when I did everything to push you away. So no,  I’m not mad. I’m just sad that I messed up so badly. Maria told me something, you know, and I think she was right. That is why, I accept your apology, and for whatever it’s worth, I forgive you and I am sorry too. For everything.” Yang felt Blake untangle her arms from her knees and wrap her waist in a hug.

 “I forgive you too,” Blake whispered into Yang’s hair.

It was just one phrase, one word, but it somehow took away some of the weight from them. It did take Blake by surprise, because she didn’t expect it to feel better just like that. She knew, of course, that it was a really small thing but it felt important for some reason. And the faunus had an impression that it was equally important to Yang. Who knew that forgiving and being forgiven could be this comforting?

“So did you figure anything out yet? With the arm thing?” Blake asked with a sniffle.

“I… No. I don’t think Maria understands fully what it means for me. What this ‘thing’ represents. It’s too much. I can’t do it. I just can’t….” Yang said, hanging her head low.

“I think she understands more than we think. Maybe… maybe just try to pull it out? I can take it out if you want,” Blake suggested. When Yang told her about Maria’s task, she was surprised, but she could easily see how big of a step that would be for Yang.

“NO! No, Blake. I-I’m not ready, I don’t think I will ever be!” Yang’s raised voice thundered through the apartment. “Nobody gets it. It’s not just about it being dangerous for people around me. It’s… It’s a proof of my shame, of what I’ve done. It’s enough I have to carry it in me all the time. I don’t have the strength to carry the arm itself as well. It’s too much.”

Blake watched as the blonde get up from the couch and resume her pacing. She thought about what to say to Yang or if she should maybe call Maria and tell her it’s too early. She pondered Yang’s words for few minutes, words that hit surprisingly close to home.

“I get it,” Blake started, looking at Yang as she stopped pacing and turned to Blake. “It feels like it’s impossible, facing your shame, right? I know exactly how you feel.”

When Yang didn’t respond, Blake stood up from the couch, and went on the balcony. She sat down on one of the chairs situated there and waved Yang over to sit in the other. She picked two blankets and passed one to Yang. It may have been April already, but it was still pretty cold. The weather was nice, and the streets were a bit calmer during the middle of the day.

“I… I haven’t spoken to my parents in 8 years. Last time I saw them, I called them cowards and traitors, I yelled that in my mother’s face and told them I am leaving with Adam and I never want to see them again. My mother was in tears when I told her I hated her, but I left and never looked back. They tried to warn me about Adam, tried to make me see who he really was. But I was so blinded by him and what I thought was my love for him, that I saw nothing of that.” Blake wrapped herself in a blanket, and let a single tear fall on her cheek.

“After Coco, Pyrrha, and I moved from Argus to Vale, I tried to force myself to call them. But I couldn’t. How could I face them after everything I said? They surely hated me, right? They only wanted what’s best for me, and I spat in their faces and told them all those things to hurt them. I couldn’t make myself contact them out of fear and shame. They were right, I was wrong. After 2 years in Vale, I made Pyrrha send them a postcard from Atlas that said: ‘I’m fine, please don’t look for me.’” Blake looked ahead, not really seeing anything, being lost in the past.

“Maria couldn’t make me do it, neither could Coco and Pyrrha. It’s too big of a step by now for me to take and I have to live with it.” Blake sighed with resigned acceptance. “But Yang, you can still do it. You can reconnect with your family. They miss you and I’m sure it will be hard, but you still have a chance for all of that I lost. Don’t repeat my mistakes and don’t let your shame become an obstacle you cannot cross.”

***

As Yang was lying in bed, the conversation with Blake replayed in her mind.

_I **t doesn’t matter… It’s too late. I** w **ill get up in the morning tomorrow** a **nd nothing will be differe** n **t, no** t **hing will be bet** t **er.**_  
_What about forgiveness?_  
_**I** t **’s p** o **intless.**_  
_But Blake has forgiven me._  
_**It doesn’t** c **hange anyt** h **ing.**_  
_But doesn’t that mean that I can be forgiven?_  
_**I… Don’t w** an **t to be for** g **iv** e **n...**_

__

* * *

 

The Sunday was warm, and Blake was making herself a sandwich. She considered waking up Yang from her nap to ask if she wanted any, but decided against it as Yang still had nightmares and didn’t get that much sleep. A knock on the door surprised Blake while she was cutting up her sandwich, and instead of nice neat triangles, she was left with one significantly smaller and the other one much bigger. Annoyed that somebody dared to mess up her food, she went to the door, trying to figure out who it was exactly that would fall victim to her wrath. Coco refused to go out anywhere, content on staying in Velvet’s spare bedroom for a whole day. Fox was very unlikely to come since he still had trouble talking with Yang. So unless that was Velvet or Yatsuhashi, it had to be some random person.

Whoever it was, Blake already had a not-so-nice greeting ready as she was opening the door. Words seemingly disappearing in her mouth, she managed to release only an undignified squeak as her eyes fell on the person that was standing outside. Pyrrha Nikos. Blake stood at the door, staring at the unexpected guest with her mouth slightly open, and after few awkward seconds she launched herself forward, wrapping her arms around Pyrrha’s sturdy frame.

“Pyrrha!” Blake almost squealed. “What are you doing here?!”

“Hello,” Pyrrha said, but her usually melodic tone was missing. The difference was shocking enough that Blake immediately took a step back and carefully observed her friend, taking in her slumped shoulders, and red slightly puffy eyes.

“Wha-What’s wrong?” Blake asked, panic rising, her ears laying flat against her head.

“Can… Can we go inside, please?” Pyrrha asked shyly, not looking Blake in the eye.

“Sure, of course, come on in. Do you want some tea?” Blake said, backing into the apartment and dragging Pyrrha along with her.

“Tea would be lovely,” Pyrrha said, giving her a small smile as she sat at the table.

 

“So, what happened? What are you even doing here? I thought you won’t be coming back for another month or something,” Blake asked, taking in the heat of her cup with her hands.

“I… I got back early. F-Fox sent me a message about what happened and… and…” Pyrrha sobbed quietly. “She won’t talk to me, Blake. I went over to Velvet’s and Coco refused to see me or talk with me.”

“Oh…” Was all Blake could manage to stammer. This was so incredibly bizarre, seeing Pyrrha like this. It was the first time ever Blake has seen her friend this vulnerable.

“I messed up. I knew better. I shouldn’t have let Fox talk me into this stupid idea, now Coco will probably never speak to me again,” Pyrrha looked absolutely devastated. Blake couldn’t even imagine her heart breaking into so many pieces, looking at one of her best friends, one of the most indomitable people she knew, fall apart like that.

“Oh no, no, no. Pyrrha, come on. You know Coco, she is a bit mad, but it will pass. She will forgive you soon enough. She… We all are just stressed about this whole situation with Yang, and I’m sure it’s all going to be fine, okay?” Blake asked, grabbing Pyrrha’s palms into her own, and rubbing them with her thumb.

“Oh Oum. Yang. I’m sorry, how is she? Are you okay? I am so sorry about just barging in like that when you have so much on your plate. I should go. I’m going to go,” Pyrrha said, trying to stand up, only for Blake to beat her to it, and force her back down with her hands on Pyrrha’s shoulders.

“Yang is… dealing. I am fine and you are not going anywhere,” Blake said with a stern tone. That was so like Pyrrha to worry about everybody else and never herself. Blake thought that always being so strong for everyone must be very exhausting. Her scroll pinged with a message, and she checked it quickly. Trying not to show surprise, she put it on the table and focused back on Pyrrha.

“You are going to stay here, drink the tea, and we will talk about anything you want. Then we will watch a movie and I will call Jaune to tell him you are going to stay the night,” Blake said, looking into Pyrrha’s wet green eyes.

“But… I don’t think Yang would take kindly to me being here. I don’t want to mess things even more than I already did by talking to her in Crosshares those few months back.” Pyrrha lowered her gaze.

“No buts. You are staying here, and you did not mess anything up. It was just unlucky coincidence and bad timing, Pyrrha. Everything is going to be fine. Trust me,” Blake said, not letting her gaze away from her friend’s face.

“But Yang… I...” The redhead started, but Blake squeezed her shoulders and interrupted her.

“Yang just sent me a text, from her room, asking if it would be okay for her to come out and talk with you,” Blake said calmly. “Only if you want and feel up to it.”

“I… I don’t know. Should I? Is it a good idea? How is she? Should I avoid saying anything or doing anything? What do I do? God, Blake, I have no idea what to do in a situation like this,” Pyrrha said, her eyes franticly darting from Blake to Yang’s room door.

“First of all, calm down. No one here knows how to deal with any of this. Yang is in a… pretty bad place right now, but she is trying. I think she already made amazing progress, even if she doesn’t notice it. She is seeing Maria, and she is trying to be more open. It’s hard, Pyrrha, but if she says she wants to talk with you I think we should let her. If you want to, of course. Just if you do, maybe don’t mention her family unless she asks. It’s still a touchy subject with her.” Blake grabbed Pyrrha’s forearm and gave it a squeeze.

“You have your own stuff to deal with and nobody is going to blame you for wanting some time or space. But I know you Pyrrha. I know that it has been eating you up. You told me yourself that you feel bad about not being able to get through to her. Maybe it will help both of you. Whatever you choose, I’m here for you and I’m not going to let you go through this alone.”

“I… Thanks, Blake. I think… I think you are right. So if she is ready, I would like to meet her properly.” Pyrrha smiled ever so slightly and Blake exhaled with relief. Nodding to the redhead she stood up and waved her friend to go to the living room. Blake made her way to the blonde’s room, and knocked before she opened the door. Yang was sitting on her bed, leg going up and down as she locked eyes with Blake. When the faunus silently nudged her head toward the living room and left, Yang took a deep breath to calm herself down and stood up to leave the room. Her heart was pounding on the way to the living room which felt like an eternity.

Her eyes immediately zeroed in on Pyrrha as she entered the living room, Blake standing right next to the blonde, gently rubbing her back. Yang closed her eyes, and took a deep breath one more time.

“He-Hey,” the blonde said, feeling incredibly stupid. **_Pathetic_** _._

“H-Hello.” Pyrrha’s response was equally shaky.

“I… Listen, I’m sorry for the last time. I... I just… It surprised me and I reacted badly. I’m sorry,” Yang started. None of the people she met since staying at Blake’s deserved the way she treated them. Making amends seemed like a good way to go, even if the fact that Pyrrha knew Ruby still absolutely terrified Yang.

“Oh no, it’s fine. I understand. I shouldn’t have ambushed you like that. I’m sorry.” Pyrrha stood up, looking sheepish.

“Oh, we are so not doing that again,” Blake silenced Yang before she could speak. “You are both sorry, you apologized and that is it. No more apologizing, it’s all forgiven and forgotten! Now both of you sit, I will go make tea and get some snacks.”

The silence Blake left them with was an awkward one, to say the least. Yang dropped onto the arm chair, trying to think of anything other than Ruby to talk about. Pyrrha was here, and they should talk, shouldn’t they? But something about that felt off to Yang and it took her a minute to put things together.

“Um… Shouldn’t you be away in Vacuo? Blake mentioned you are still going to be spending some time in there,” Yang asked. Sudden unexpected appearance of Pyrrha seemed like a good topic.

“I uhm… I got back earlier when I got Fox’s message. He told me that he told Coco everything and I panicked, since she wouldn’t pick up calls from me,” Pyrrha said, nervously eyeing Yang and Blake who just walked in with a tray of tea and some crackers. Getting a slight nod from Blake, Pyrrha continued. “I cut my stay short and I flew back to Vale as soon as I could and… well, Coco is not speaking to me currently, so…” She gave a halfhearted laugh and took one of the cups.

“Oh…” Yang said, before swallowing heavily. Not the best topic after all. “I… Listen, Pyrrha, I am sorry about all of this. This... situation with you, Coco, and I... It’s all my fault. I was selfish and because of that everyone messed their lives up and I...”

“Yang, we talked about this. It...” Blake started to interrupt, but Yang raised her hand silencing the faunus.

“Blake, I know. But both of them, Pyrrha and Fox, did what they did on my behalf, even if I didn’t ask for it, and trust me I would if I knew I would meet them here. I made some stupid decisions and it affected all of your lives. Let me at least own this much and apologize for it.” Yang’s determination made Blake’s eyebrows rise up. She nodded so that Yang could continue.

“Recently, Maria gave us a lesson on apologizing and accepting apologies. I do think it means something and it’s important, so… I am sorry, that you had to hide the truth from Coco for me. I never wanted it to be like this and I never meant for your friendship to suffer because of me, so… I’m sorry.” Yang didn’t know how she managed to not stutter during all of this and how she managed to look Pyrrha in the eye. Crimson meeting surprised emerald.

For few moments, nobody said anything. Pyrrha looked surprised, but Blake was actually stunned. She really didn’t want to say anything, but as she smiled slightly, having imagined that this is what progress looked like. Pyrrha skewed her head to the side, now eyeing Yang with curiosity rather than surprise.

“I… Thank you, Yang. I appreciate it a lot. And I know you never meant for any of this to happen, so don’t worry about this. And it’s like you said, we all made our own decisions and we have to face the consequences. So I will own up to mine and do everything in my power to apologize to Coco when she is ready to hear me out,” Pyrrha said, her tone much closer to her usual confidence.

After that, the awkwardness, while still present, was much less noticeable. Blake and Pyrrha fell into an easy conversation about Pyrrha’s time in Vacuo and Yang mostly stayed quiet, sipping her tea. She still felt a bit awkward around the redhead. After hour and some change, the blonde excused herself to her room, wanting to give the two friends some time for themselves, and to rest up from an unexpectedly adventurous afternoon.

***

When the morning came, next day, the three of them ate breakfast together, after which they decided to go for some groceries. Pyrrha stayed with them till early afternoon, until going back to her and Jaune’s place. After she left, Yang couldn’t help but notice the renewed energy in Blake’s step. She seemed much more cheerful than the last three days. Was it really possible for a close friend, just one person, to make so much difference in one’s life?

_I **t’s not like anything’s changed.**_  
_Yes it did._  
_**No, it didn’t. Pyrrha** m **ay be back, but th** a **t doesn’t mean ever** y **thing Blake** f **elt do** e **sn’t** e **xist anymore. It’s not** l **ike Pyrrha’s situ** a **tion with Coco improved by their little** g **et-together.**_  
_Their situations may have not changed, but they are not alone._  
_**It’s e** a **sier when you are alone. You cannot d** i **sappoint anyo** n **e that way.**_  
_It’s easier when you are not alone. You always have someone to lean on._

* * *

_  
_

It was a slow night at Crosshares. Yang was nearing end of her shift and June seemed to have everything under control with Coco hiding in her office, as she usually did lately. Sighing while she finished washing some glasses, Yang pondered how much easier her life was before she lost her arm, even learning to wash dishes was a lengthy process, and although it took her a while, she managed to learn how to do a decent enough job nowadays so that nobody had to redo her work. She eyed the clock hidden under bar, and deemed it was late enough that she could wrap up, and go do what she had planned.

She talked it over with Blake who reluctantly agreed, that it might be what she needed to do. Taking off the tie, she shook her hair out, thinking how that was one of the things she couldn’t do with one arm. Tie her hair. Lately everything she did, she couldn’t help but compare to how she did it when she still had both of her arms or how hard it was to relearn doing it with just one hand. She took a deep breath and tried to still herself before she entered the little room leading to Coco’s office.

***

Coco laid her head on top of her palms on the desk as she watched one of the shelves that was full of different pictures. Her and Pyrrha as kids, both of them with Blake. Coco making fun of Blake’s bow (a gift from Pyrrha) the first time the faunus wore it and couldn’t tie it properly, so it was all skewed and uneven. Few pictures of her and Fox were woven through the rest. All those good memories. Coco often found herself looking at them when she needed to calm down after a hard day, or getting riled up by someone. But now it was different. She didn’t know what she felt when she watched the pictures. Betrayal? Anger? Hurt? All of the above? It was really hard for her to find comfort in them anymore. First Fox, then Pyrrha.

Why did they hurt her? They knew… Both of them knew what it meant for her. Fox was easier of the two. It’s true she was mad at him and he hurt her, but she thought she could forgive him, if the situation remained how it was before Yang tried to… It was easier then. But now she knew he made Pyrrha not say anything, and god did that hurt Coco more than any of them could have imagined. The redhead was there for her, when Coco was lost and angry at the world, she was always there, whether Coco had to yell at somebody or cry into someone’s shoulder. And now Pyrrha did this. She closed her eyes for a while, feeling her palms slowly going numb from the constant pressure of her head on them. She almost ignored a knock on her door.

“What?” She snapped, but it didn’t have the usual emotion behind it.

“Do... Do you have some time to talk?” Yang’s head popped through slightly opened door.

“If I’m going to say no, will you go away?” Coco asked, grimacing at her own tone right after she said it. “Sorry, I… Sorry.”

“It’s fine. I just wanted to talk for a bit. Maybe I can come back some other time?” Yang asked, still not entering Coco’s office.

She did want to talk to Yang, but was now the best moment for that? Coco, to her own surprise, found that she wasn’t mad at the blonde. She tried, she really tried hard to be. After Fox, after Yang’s… attempt. She tried to be mad, but she couldn’t. Thinking about everything that happened to her, to Blake. She never once considered taking her own life, and as far as she knew, Blake never had any thoughts like that ever as well. How unimaginably hard it had to be for Yang, so that she would try to take her own life? And was Coco really a part of that horrific hand that pushed Yang into this? The thought was sickening. _Might as well get that out of the way…_ Coco thought.

“Sure, what did you want to talk about?” she asked the blonde.

“I actually had two things I wanted to discuss with you.” Yang sat down in front of Coco’s desk. “First, I wanted to say that… That I accept your apology, and I am sorry too. About everything. I know you tried to help the best you could. You gave me a job, and you were always honest with me. You didn’t treat me like I was something fragile and breakable. You treated me like a normal person, and you tried to shake me out of my stupor. I will always be grateful for what you did for me and that is why I would also like to apologize to you. I… I fucked up. And I know it’s not exactly all my fault, but I do feel guilty about what Fox and Pyrrha did. They did it for me, and I never wanted you to be hurt by all of that. So I’m sorry, Coco. Sorry for everything.”

Coco sat there for a minute, with her mouth open. _Wait, that’s not how it’s supposed to be. I should be the one apologizing. What?_

“No, Yang. It’s me who...” Coco started, but Yang shook her head vigorously, cutting her off.

“You already did, Coco, and I told you. I accept your apology,” Yang said matter-of-factly.

Coco fell silent again. She tried to wrap her head about Yang’s apology. Something was off about Yang and she couldn’t place it. The blonde was somehow different, whether it was her tone or her look, Coco had no idea, but something changed in her demeanor.

“Thanks… I-I really don’t know what to say, Yang,” Coco said weakly. She wasn’t used to feeling so shy. “What… What was the other thing you wanted to talk about?”

“I wanted to... check up on you?” Yang started slowly, as if unsure of what she wanted to say.  
“P-Pyrrha visited… us yesterday and she was a mess. She told Blake you refused to talk with her and well… I-We were worried about you.”

“Of course she did,” Coco said, as she slumped down on her chair. “I am not fine… I-I don’t know how to wrap my head around all of this. I thought I would be able to work things out with Fox, but then you… And he told me everything, and Pyrrha, and… I am just so mad at them. I don’t want to see or speak with any of them. I honestly don’t feel like doing anything at the moment. Maria says I should give it time and it will work itself out, but I hate it. I hate being mad at them, but I can’t just pretend everything is fine, right?”

Yang smiled sadly, Coco was usually all pizzazz, quips and smirks. Seeing her lost and rambling like this was painful to watch. As an awkward silence settled over them with Yang not really knowing how to respond, she looked around the office. Her eyes landed on a notebook behind Coco’s back. It was more of a journal and Yang frowned as a wave of recent memories surfaced in her mind.

“It sucks when you really want to do something, but you can’t, right? I… I don’t know what to say. I am not used to being mad at anyone besides myself. Ever since I was a child, I was always disappointed with myself. I could have done better, BE better. I don’t think I was ever mad at someone… And I am not counting Emerald or Mercury, or Winter Schnee. It was different. I never had a friend who I felt disappointed by, or mad at. I was always the one that messed up everything and I was only ever frustrated with myself,” Yang said, looking down on her hand tracing patterns in the wood on the side of the desk.

Coco eyed the blonde for a minute, before exhaling and putting her head back, so she could look at the ceiling.

“I only ever knew how to be mad at everyone. I never once was mad at myself, so all of this? It’s new to me. Doubting myself. Feeling like it was all my fault. I am so angry at them, but I am also angry at myself.” Coco was tired. Why was it all so exhausting? “Did Blake ever tell you why I despise lying so much? What happened to my father?”

“N-No? She only mentioned that it had something to do with what happened in your family,” Yang answered.

“My parents were married for two years. My mom quickly became famous ‘cause of her designs, but my dad was just a guy, with a normal corporate job and no fame or wealth. They were together for three years in total and as I now know, my father left before I was born. Before he even knew mom was pregnant with me. She cheated on him, you know. With some entrepreneur. When he found out, they got divorced and he left. Nine months later, I was born and my mom remarried with the guy she cheated on dad with. For 13 years I lived spoiled and happy. Oblivious to everything. I was such a brat. If I met my 13 year old self, I would probably strangle her. Anyway, on my 13th birthday my dad came back, he claimed I was his daughter and he wanted to be a part of my life. My mother and stepfather freaked out, they accused him of lying and told him to get lost. He said he will be back and he left, but I heard everything. That was the first time I realized my parents may have been lying to me all this time. You see, my mother didn’t know which one of them was my father, and my stepfather didn’t even want to consider an embarrassment that he was raising somebody else’s child all this time.” Coco put a nasty smirk on her face as she looked at Yang.

“But, my dad came back, with a court order for paternity test.  My mom and stepdad were so mad, but they had to abide. Neither of them wanted a scandal. At this point I was mad at all of them. My mother and stepfather for lying to me for 13 years, even if it wasn’t yet proven. And at my dad for ruining my nice cozy life by barging into it and stirring everything up. God, I am so glad Pyrrha was there. I’m sure she is much less glad about it, because I treated her horribly. I screamed at her and let out everything that welled up inside of me. I was really nasty for a 13-year-old. Anyways, both of my ‘dads’ got tested and when the results came, everyone was shocked, I think. I turned out my stepdad was my real dad all this time. At least that what it seemed. My dad was devastated. And I was relieved, until I overheard my stepdad talking on the phone with someone. They were talking about everything being done, and nobody finding out. And it nagged at me. I couldn’t get it out of my head. After all, why would I look so much like a guy that wasn’t my father, and nothing like my stepdad who WAS my father, right? Few weeks after all of this, I found out my dad has died. He was drunk and he got into a car accident. He didn’t make it. I went to the funeral in secret, and, well, my rapidly growing paranoia got the better of me, and I stole some of his hair. I found some small laboratory that did paternity tests, but they were incredibly expensive. I lied to my parents about needing the cash for something. They didn’t really care and just gave me the money, as they usually did.” Coco gave a short quiet laugh.

“It’s actually kind of funny that my stepdad gave me the money that ended up ruining him in the end. Anyways, I did the test and well, it seems the saying ‘you aren’t paranoid when someone is out to get you’ is true. Turned out my dad was my real dad, and my step father paid off the lab techs that did the test to falsify the results. He lied to my mother and to me. And because of that I never got to meet my real dad.” Coco blinked away her tears. “I told… Well, I actually yelled at my mom, showed her the results, and she confronted my stepdad. Oh, she was out for blood and she got it. She absolutely demolished him in the divorce and took everything he had, she also made sure to completely destroy his reputation. He is now hiding somewhere on Menagerie, last we heard about him.” Coco sighed. “It took me a long time to forgive my mother, and we still don’t have the best relationship. Ever since then I don’t care what it is, I just want people to tell me stuff straight up. No bullshit. And both Pyrrha and Fox hid stuff from me. What’s worse, they both knew my story and my reasons, and they still did it. How… How can I expect to get past it after all of this?” Coco asked, her eyes pleading for answer.

“I… I don’t know. I have no idea how to get past my own issues, so I wouldn’t know where to even begin to give you any sort of useful advice, sorry. Does… Does writing help with any of it?” Yang asked, eyeing the journal.

Coco twirled around on her chair, picking up her journal. She turned back to Yang and opened it, starting to browse it half-heartedly.

“Sometimes… It doesn’t seem to be helping much now,” Coco said, lost in her thoughts.

“I-I thought about writing a journal, too. Maria suggested it may help to express my feelings, but I... It’s not going to work for me.” Yang moved her stump when Coco looked at her. “I can write numbers now, it took me a while to make them somewhat tangible, but words are impossible with my left hand,” Yang said with a frown, clenching and unclenching her fist. Yet another thing made impossible by losing her arm.

“Yang, I…” Coco started, gently tracing the binding of her journal’s leather cover. “Thanks for coming to talk with me.”

Yang laughed quietly. “I don’t think I said anything helpful.”

“Yes you did, and just checking up on me somehow makes it a tiny bit better.” Coco smiled lightly. They were all messed up, but somehow Coco did feel better. Nothing got magically fixed, but it didn’t seem that overwhelming anymore. “Did you figure out anything about your arm?”

“Not yet… I… It just feels like too much, you know? But it made me realize how many things I cannot do or can do only slowly without my arm, and it’s… frustrating. I don’t know what to do…” Yang said, dejectedly wiggling her fingers.

“You are going to be fine, Yang. We are going to be fine. All of us.” Coco’s smile was slightly wider and more honest this time.

 

* * *

 

Blake was getting slightly annoyed. Throughout all the Monday Yang was fidgeting, Blake noticed that the blonde seemed anxious about something when they were eating breakfast. But she chose to remain quiet. During the day, they were both lazing around the apartment and Blake noticed Yang open and close her mouth trying to say something, but she never actually said anything. They went and did some shopping, going for a walk after they got back, but now it was evening and Blake irritation only grew because of Yang’s indecisiveness.

“Yang,” Blake said, sighing.

“Y-yes?”

“Can you please just tell me already? I am trying not to freak out, but you are making it very hard on me.”

“I… Blake, I was wondering if you think I could talk to Pyrrha about something. I have something I would like to ask her, but… I-I don’t know if I can ask her for… a favor,” Yang said, looking at her toes.

Blake’s eyes went wide. “S-Sure? I don’t think she would have anything against at least hearing you out. Do you want me to call her?”

“Y-Yeah, if you could tell her to come by, that would be nice,” Yang said.

They did hang out with Pyrrha a lot lately. Blake obviously missed her and took every chance to meet with her. Yang still was feeling a bit anxious about the redhead, but she found Pyrrha to be an incredibly easy person to be around. She didn’t seem to have the need to talk all the time, and when they did, she always spoke gently and never pried into anything Yang herself hasn’t shared. Hearing Pyrrha’s stories and anecdotes about her time spent training in different places gave Yang an idea. It was a really stupid idea, but Yang was desperate for anything, so she grasped at straws. The blonde listened as Blake asked Pyrrha to come over, trying to quench her anxiety.

“She said she is going to be here in around half an hour,” Blake said, putting her scroll back.

“B-Blake, c-can you take it out and put it on the c-coffee table?” Yang asked, stuttering. She breathed deeply, trying not to hyperventilate. Blake didn’t say anything, she just stood up from the table and rubbed Yang’s back on her way to the living room.

***

Pyrrha entered the apartment, as Blake led her to pale looking Yang. The blonde’s leg was bouncing up and down rapidly, as she was sitting at the table. Pyrrha sat down, eyeing Yang with worry, as Blake went to make tea for the redhead.

“Hello, Yang,” Pyrrha sang.

“Hello.” Yang’s voice was higher than usual.

“So, um, Blake told me you had something to talk about with me?” Pyrrha asked slowly.

“Y-Yeah…” Yang started, but didn’t continue.

Pyrrha waited patiently, as Blake put a cup of tea in front of her, sitting down facing the redhead and putting her own hands on Yang’s.

“It’s okay, Yang. Take your time,” Blake said, gently rubbing Yang’s palm. Pyrrha smiled towards the blonde and nodded.

“C-Can… Can I ask you about your… Your scar?” Yang asked quietly.

“Sure, I don’t mind,” Pyrrha said, rising her eyebrows.

“Why… How do you… Show it so openly? Aren’t you… worried about what people will think? Aren’t you… ashamed?” Yang asked, raising her head and looking at now thoughtful Pyrrha.

“I guess I don’t care what people think? I was always raised to be perfect, my mom and dad love me, and I love them, but they always told me I was perfect and that I was the best. And I always had things chosen for me, and told what to do and how to do it. It made them happy and proud, so I always did it for them. But once I got older, I realized I never did anything for myself.  And after everything that happened with Blake and I got the scar, my mom did all she could to try to cover it up. I realized then that I need to start doing things for me. I started by leaving the scar as it is. It is a part of me, Yang. I got it while protecting my friend and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s not a blemish or something bad. It’s my badge of honor. It shows who I am and I like what it says about me. Knowing how I got the scar, I would still do exactly what I did before. And if somebody has an issue with that or my scar, it’s their problem, not mine,” Pyrrha said with a brilliant smile. It was really hard not to smile back, and Blake found herself grinning. Yang sat quietly, mauling over the redhead’s words.

“Pyrrha, you are… strong, right?” Yang suddenly asked.

“I… Yes. I think I managed to become strong, not just physically, but as a person as well.”

“Do… Do you think you could take me down?” Yang asked, and it sounded almost hopeful.

Pyrrha looked her right in the eyes with a slight furrow. Giving the blonde a once over, and after a quick glance to Blake, responded.

“Yes. I mean, as you are right now, yes, I think so. But I’m not fighting you, if that’s what you mean.”

Yang looked at her, and then looked at Blake. She took a deep, slightly shaky breath, and said, turning to the faunus.

“C-Can we go to the living room?”

Blake’s eyes went wide as she put the pieces together. It was a bit ridiculous, but if it was going to help Yang, she wasn’t going to say anything. She got up, nodding, and moved the couch in the living room, Yang and Pyrrha followed in tow. When the redhead made a move to join Blake on the couch, Yang caught her forearm, forcing her to stand next to her. They were all silent for a second as the faunus and Yang stared at each other. Moving as if in slow motion, Blake’s hand raised towards the chest lying on the coffee table, her eyes not leaving the blonde’s for even a second.

As Blake undid the first clasp, Yang squeezed Pyrrha’s forearm tighter, the redhead giving quizzical looks to both of them.

Second clasp made Yang swallow heavily.

Last one made her close her eyes and exhale loudly.

Blake gently lifted the top of the box and Pyrrha mouthed a silent ‘Oh’, still very confused.

“Take your time, Yang, we are here for you,” the faunus said with a smile.

 

* * *

 

Maria was impatiently drumming her fingers on her desk. They were late. She had things to do and didn’t want to spend her whole day waiting for Yang. When the girl called her to make an appointment for today, Maria was happy, thinking that the girl was finally ready, but now her happiness was gone replaced by growing annoyance at Yang’s tardiness. She was about to grab her scroll and call either the blonde or Blake to yell at them for being late, but a knock sounded on her door.

“Come in! It’s about damn time,” Maria didn’t even try to hide her annoyance. She was about to say something mean, but she forgot about it as she watched a whole entourage enter the room. Her artificial eyes opened wider as she looked at Pyrrha, Yang and Blake standing in the middle of the room, with the faunus holding some kind of a big box. She could easily guess the contents of it, as she noticed Yang standing there with just one arm. Nobody said anything until the warrior put her palm on Yang’s shoulder and gave Blake a nod.

Seeing Yang put on the prosthetic was certainly interesting. Noting the blonde’s rigid posture, Maria was surprised that she was able to move at all. She twisted the cap of off her stump and put it in the box, took the prosthetic from Blake _,_ and twisted it in the place of the cap. Nothing happened for a while, until the faunus stepped away from Yang. It was slight twitches of fingers at first, but after few minutes, Yang flexed her new arm, and clenched and unclenched her fist a few times. Letting out a shuddering breath, she opened her eyes and looked at Maria as she made her way towards the arm chairs. She gently lowered herself onto the chair, bracing herself with both arms.

The old lady eyed Blake and Pyrrha, both whom didn’t give any indication that they were going to leave, but didn’t say anything. She could figure out most of the situation, the faunus being there as a moral support and the redhead serving as a guard, and there was no point in questioning it, especially since she was happy with how it turned out. She initially expected to have to fight it out with Yang alone, but she was exceedingly happy that the blonde herself chose to ask for help. She made her way to her chair and plumped right on it. For a few minutes she looked over Yang from top to bottom. She could tell how stressed the girl was.

“This one time, Yang, I will make an exception and let them stay during our session, but next time we will talk alone as per usual,” Maria said, flashing a smirk.

“Okay… So, what do you want me to talk about today?” Yang asked balling up both of her fists.


	17. Step by step

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some of you may or may not have noticed a finish line has appeared in sight... Oh boy. I cannot wait for the next chapter and I hope you will be equaly excited once you finish this one :D
> 
> As always enjoy the chapter and leave a comment if you would like!
> 
> Whops I made a slight oopsie by posting a draft chapter, rather than proofread one, sorry guys - It's now been replaced with a proper one
> 
> P.S
> 
> STILL AHEAD!

„So Yang, how are you feeling?” Maria asked, fidgeting with one of her blue saucer eyes.

“What? Don’t we usually discuss some stuff from my past?” Yang asked carefully.

“We have been talking about your past a lot lately. Much has changed in the last few weeks. You are starting to get accustomed to your prosthetic again. This is what, fifth session where you have it on? I would like you tell me how you are feeling. Not just right now, but in general. ” Left shutter of Maria’s eye started rapidly narrowing and widening. “I swear to god, it seems like I just had those fixed.”

Yang looked at the little old lady in silence. Her prosthetic arm rested flat on the armrest, unmoving. It was true, this was the fifth session that she had her arm on. Granted Yang still felt incredibly anxious and distracted by it, but by now she could at least somewhat focus on her conversation with Maria instead of just trying not to freak out about her prosthetic.

“I…” Yang started, but went silent immediately. She was about to dismiss the question and try to change the subject, but she remembered last time she did that, almost resulting in the old lady kicking her out. “Not very well. I feel like nothing has changed.”

Maria’s artificial eyelid finally stopped twitching and she quietly waited for the blonde to continue.

“My arm is still freaking me out, and even though I go to work and try to go out with Blake and be with other people, I still feel so bad. Getting out of bed every morning is a struggle and I am not making any progress in anything!” Yang said, her voice getting louder with each word. She was frustrated and she didn’t know how to handle her still depressed frame of mind.

“And that makes you mad?” Maria asked.

“Of course it does! How can it not? We have been at it for so long and I’m still exactly where we started!” Yang nearly shouted.

“Oh Yang… I get why thinking that would that make you mad, but you are so wrong,” Maria said with a click of the tongue. “You are holding your job. You had talks with people you mistreated, you apologized to them and accepted their apologies, and you are here. Talking with me about what is bothering you. Let’s not forget about how you are currently wearing your prosthetic, a thing that you couldn’t even look at few weeks ago. And you managed to have it on almost for the whole session last time. You are miles away from where you were when we first met.”

“Well, it doesn’t feel like that at all,” Yang said, hanging her head low.

“Surely you didn’t expect it all to go away in few weeks, right? You are making remarkable progress even if you don’t see it as such. But it’s just a first step, Yang. A first step on a long road. It will get better with time, you will have to trust me on this,” Maria said.

“It just feels… like I’m never going to get better. Like nothing will ever change because I fucked it all up so much,” Yang said, balling her fists.

“As it usually does. You know, it’s funny because people that are trying to get better, usually don’t even notice that they got better. One day it suddenly hits them that their lives ain’t so bad, that they feel happy. Change is easy to miss.” Maria dropped down from her chair and made her way towards her desk.

“But it’s not like I’m magically a changed person just because I apologized to few people and am trying and get better. It’s just one decision in the sea of everything bad I did.” Yang’s frustration seemed to be replaced by exhaustion, her voice weak and quivering slightly.

“Oh, but that’s exactly how it is, girl. The decision to change is instant. You decide to change and that’s it. Now, sticking to it is a lengthy process. You are right, those bad things you did won’t disappear just because you decided you wanted to get better. But you are a different person than you were before. You are changing every day. People often say it’s impossible to change in an instant. But that’s what it is. It’s a moment when you decide to let go of your past self, and get on a road to become someone different. Someone better.” Maria disappeared behind her desk, searching her drawers for something.

“So that’s it? I should just sit and wait until I suddenly feel good about myself?” Yang asked incredulously.

“Oh no, it’s not that easy. Like I said, deciding to change is easy, sticking with it is difficult,” Maria said, getting closer to Yang’s chair.

“Then what do I do? How do I ‘stick’ with it?” the blonde asked, brows furrowed.

“Isn’t it obvious? Homework!” Maria grinned.

“What?” Yang asked as the old lady handed her something. “What the hell is this?”

“This, my dear, is a paper rose. It’s made with a Mistralian art of folding paper, called origami,” Maria said, eyeing a white paper flower on Yang’s palm. “I would like you to make one for me. I have to go to Haven for two weeks, and when I come back, I would like to be presented with a flower like that.”

“What? I have no idea how to do that,” Yang said, her eyes darting between the old lady and the paper flower in her hand.

“Well, then you will have to learn. I’m sure you will figure it out. You have more time than you need.” Maria signaled Yang that their session is over.

When Yang was leaving Maria’s office, the old lady propped her head onto the corridor and called after her.

“You are going to need both hands for this. Good luck!” And before Yang could spin around in panic, Maria slammed the door shut.

 

* * *

  

“It’s… It’s impossible!” Yang said angrily while pacing in front of Blake, who was splayed on a couch, reading a book.

“Is it?” the faunus asked half heartedly.

“Yes! Stop mocking me! This is serious!” Yang flailed her arm at Blake, who chuckled lightly behind her book.

“Sorry, but Yang, it’s only been 3 days since Maria left. I’m sure you can do this if you keep at it.”

“Oh my god, no, I can’t, this stupid fucking paper won’t bend the way I want it to with just one arm, and if I try to use something to hold it, it will tear. I can’t do it!”

“Maybe you should try using your prosthetic? I mean, Maria said you would need it either way.” Blake shrugged.

Yang stopped dead in her tracks and glared at the faunus who only smiled innocently at her.

“I… I can’t. Blake, come on, don’t laugh at me. What do I do?” Yang asked, slumping her shoulders.

“Sorry. How about we ask Pyrrha for help again? She helped you at Maria’s, and she stayed with us for the first few sessions. Maybe if she is here, it will be easier?” Blake put her book away and sat on the couch.

Yang focused on the now completely serious faunus. She considered the idea, even though she was wary of asking the redhead for help again. She remembered the talk she and Blake had with Maria about Yang becoming too dependable on other people. Blake regarded the idea as ridiculous when Yang brought it up, and Maria said that while it may happen, the blonde certainly wasn’t at such point yet. However, the old lady said that as long as Yang remembers that she can ask for help when she needs it, there is nothing wrong in trying things on your own.

“I… Fine. We can maybe ask Pyrrha,” the blonde said.

“I will give her a call,” Blake answered with a smile.

***

The door to Yang’s room opened violently and the blonde stomped out of it. Huffing with irritation, she sat on the chair, and slid down with a groan.

“I give up. You know what? Screw those sheets of paper. I never hated anything so much in my entire life. It. Is. Impossible.” Yang crossed her arms on her chest, pouting.

Blake stared at the blonde and was about to say something, when a pointed look from Pyrrha silenced her. Almost 10 days have passed and the plan that the three of them came up with was going far from smoothly. After discussing it with Pyrrha, Yang agreed to put her arm on in her room, for half an hour, to try and make the paper flower while the redhead hang out with Blake in the apartment. The first time they tried it, Yang shot out of her room after five minutes on the verge of a panic attack. Next time they tried it, after the blonde calmed down a bit, it went better, although Yang told them she just sat on her bed, staring at her arm for half an hour.  While after few days putting her prosthetic on inside her room stopped being a problem, it seemed that failing to fold the paper correctly made Yang increasingly frustrated.

This was the first time Yang left her room with her prosthetic on seemingly forgetting about it. Apparently anger was a sufficient distraction, so that Yang didn’t get stressed out by walking around with her artificial limb.

Yang managed to sit down for about 30 seconds before jumping from the chair and pacing around the apartment, huffing and groaning angrily, while Blake and Pyrrha could barely hide their amusement.

“I need to take a walk. I’ll be back in few minutes,” Yang said suddenly, heading towards the door. Blake was about to go after her, but Pyrrha cut her off.

“I will go with her. Don’t worry.” She squeezed Blake’s arm and jogged after Yang.

***

Pyrrha caught up with Yang when she was leaving the building. She fell into step with the blonde, hands behind her back and a smile on her face, the exact opposite of Yang, with her hands in her pockets and her mouth twisted into a grimace. She was walking fast.

“Are you okay?” Pyrrha asked, enjoying the warm weather.

“No. This is all so stupid. Stupid paper, stupid origami and stupid therapy.” Yang sulked.

“I’m sure you will get it eventually. I struggled with it at the beginning as well, and the rose isn’t the easiest,” Pyrrha said.

“Yeah, sure,” Yang answered quietly.

Their walk was short, as Yang led them around the block. They were maybe gone a little over 10 minutes, but when they got back, they were greeted by the nervous faunus who did her best to hide her anxiousness, and while it worked on a distracted Yang, Pyrrha knew the signs too well. She smiled towards the brunette and gave her two thumbs up behind the blonde’s back. Blake exhaled quietly as Yang slumped into a chair.

They spent the rest of the afternoon talking about a recent drama that went down with some patrons in Crosshares. The faunus couldn’t help herself, and tossed glances towards Yang and her bright yellow arm, and exchanging small smiles with Pyrrha. It was all going well until they started dinner, and Yang reached for her tea cup with her prosthetic arm. She suddenly stopped and went rigid, her eyes trained on her artificial hand.

Yang slowly raised her eyes to meet shimmering ambers of Blake’s. The faunus gave her a faint smile.

“It’s okay, Yang. Everything went fine, okay?”

Yang pursed her lips into a thin line and slowly got up.

“Yang?” Worry seeped into Blake’s voice.

The blonde ignored her, slowly making her way to her room. She stopped just in front of the door and stood there for few moments. Pyrrha eyed Blake who was half raised from her chair, choosing to stay quiet.

“Yang, please, just…. Just try. Please,” Blake pleaded.

Yang balled her fists, left one shaking slightly. Blake wanted to say more, to convince her that it was truly okay, but she had no idea what to say. Throwing quick glance at Pyrrha, she decided to stay quiet as well.

Yang raised her artificial arm and hit the door lightly with it. She repeated it few more times before letting her arms hang down. Taking a shaky breath, she turned around and slowly made her way back to the table, not looking at either of her two friends. They all sat in silence, Blake too afraid to break it, as to not spook Yang again, and Pyrrha seemingly content to stay quiet throughout all of it.

They finished dinner, without speaking another word, and Pyrrha announced that she would be leaving for the night. Yang retreated to her room after saying barely audible goodbye, leaving Blake and Pyrrha to say theirs.

Two weak knocks sounded through Yang’s room, as she sat on the bed, circling the fingers of her left hand around her artificial one, without touching it. She felt overwhelmed by everything that happened and didn’t exactly know how to cope with all of it.

“Come on in,” she said quietly, and didn’t even raise her head when Blake entered.

 _It was fine. Everything went fine. I didn’t even notice. How could I not notice?_  
_**What if it** d **idn’t g** o **that well? What if somethi** n **g happened?  
**But it didn’t. Pyrrha was there. It was ok._  
_**She won’** t **always be t** h **ere. Who knows wh** at **will happ** e **n next ti** me **.**_  
_Yeah… who knows?_

She was brought back from her internal confusion by Blake’s hand resting on her left palm and the faunus kneeling in front of her. She raised her head and saw the faint smile below the golden orbs.

“You did amazing today, Yang. This is a good thing,” Blake said quietly.

“Did I? I didn’t do anything aside from getting angry and then freaking out about this stupid thing.” Yang sounded confused as she flexed the fingers on her right hand.

“You did, and tomorrow you will do even better,” Blake said, slowly raising her other hand to grab Yang’s prosthetic. When the blonde didn’t move it away, she grabbed it gently, surprised by how warm and light it felt.

Blake’s smile deepened as she felt Yang’s artificial fingers squeeze hers gently. She was sure that tomorrow will be better.

 

* * *

 

“So, it seems a lot has happened during those two weeks I was away,” Maria said, humming happily from her chair. She figured Yang would take more time after she got back from Haven, and even then she half-expected the blonde to just barge in into her office and yell at her for giving her such a hard task. What she most definitely didn’t expect was for Yang to come in, already wearing her prosthetic, holding a small box in her hands.

“Yeah, stuff happened,” Yang said, looking at the box in her lap.

“Oh, I love hearing about stuff. But first, you have something for me?” Maria seemed to be in particularly good humor, which made Yang wary since it usually meant the old lady might be crazier than usual.

“I… I tried, but it’s too hard… I’m sorry.” Yang, opened the box and reached inside. She got up and deposited something into Maria’s cooped up hands.

Maria slowly eyed the flower made from red paper. Crumpled and torn petals, with uneven folds, made it look as if it was stomped over by someone, but it was still undeniably a flower.

“What are you apologizing for?” Maria asked, raising her eyes to Yang.

“It’s… It’s trash. I may have as well crumpled a ball of paper in my fist and it would probably look better. I failed… again,” Yang said with a slight quiver in her voice.

“You didn’t fail, I asked you for a paper flower and that is exactly what you gave me,” Maria said, raising the flower so that the blonde could see it.  

“But it’s all torn and crumpled, and uneven. You wanted something nice and I gave you this…” Yang waved her right hand towards the flower.

“Do you really think I expected you to produce a perfectly folded origami on your first try? Please. I gave you an enormously hard task and you completed it in a very satisfactory way,” Maria said with a smirk.

“But it’s...” Yang started, but the old lady silenced her with a click of a tongue.

“No buts. Do you think I did any better when I started? Do you think a painter’s first picture is ideal? It’s always bad, crumpled and messy. Every tear, every uneven fold, every crumple is a proof that you made it, with your own hands. That you tried and failed countless times, but you never gave up. It’s amazing, Yang. With the thing that you thought can only bring pain and shame, you managed to create something. Simple, yet beautiful. The flaws on it only serve to prove that you can do it now and that there is room for change, for improvement. Cherish this, Yang, because you just proved to me and to yourself that you can, in fact, create something, and while it may be far from perfect, you can work on it to make it better. You yourself did that, no one else.” Maria’s tone was calm and cheerful.

Yang looked at the tiny old lady, sniffing. She wiped her watery eyes and looked down, not knowing what to say to that. For the first time in what felt like an eternity, she felt hopeful. It was something new, something she was not accustomed to feeling. It was hard allowing herself to feel this way, constantly battling with her own mind trying to bring her back down.

“So, the arm. Spill,” Maria said, with what Yang called her ‘cut the crap voice’.

“It… it just happened. A week and few days after you left, I got so angry at the stupid origami that I kinda forgot about my arm. I went for a walk with Pyrrha, and then freaked out during dinner when I realized I had it on for most of the day,” Yang said, still sniffing a bit. “Blake said it was a good thing, and I… well, I managed to put it on for most of the next day and I don’t know... It’s not as heavy as I remember.”

“I see. Well then, what would you like to talk about today?” Maria asked.

“That’s it? You are not going to say anything?” Yang’s brows raised high.

“What do you want me to say? Atta girl? You are doing great, Yang, and if that’s what you want to talk about, we can. So?” Maria carefully put Yang’s rose on the armrest.

“I… There is something I wanted to talk about,” Yang started, and Maria ushered her with her hand to continue. “Do… Did you ever hate anyone?”

“I did, yes. Why?” Maria asked curiously.

“D-Did you ever forgive them?” Yang stuttered.

“Well, it did take me years, and I cannot say for sure it’s forgiveness, but I did eventually accept what that person did to me and I made peace with that,” Maria said with a hum.

“How?” Yang asked quickly.

“This person that you hate,” Maria started slowly. “It’s you, isn’t it?”

“I… Yeah.” Yang gave the old lady a pleading look. “H-How do I stop? How do I forgive myself?”

“Oh, Yang… Tell me, where does that hate comes from? What do you think you did that is so horrible that you hate yourself?” Maria sighed.

“I… I-I exist! Everything that happened, happened because I was born. My mother leaving and coming back, my father’s alcoholism. It’s all because of me!” Yang cried out.

Maria’s lips formed a thin line and her shutters narrowed.

“Yang, you cannot hold yourself responsible for stupid decisions made by adults in your life. Your mother leaving you was her choice for her own reasons. Whether she wasn’t ready or didn’t want you, it was her decision. The same goes for your parents. They handled it how they did and it resulted in what happened. None of this was your doing. You never wanted any of this, and I’m sure, if you could, you would have fixed it.” The old lady’s tone was bordering on anger.

“It would have been easier for everyone if I was never born.” A single tear fell from Yang’s cheek.

“Enough! Life is a beautiful thing, Yang. You should cherish and protect it! Your father fell into the bottle, because he couldn’t deal with his feelings. Everything you ever did was to help other people. You took care of your sister, when your mother worked two shifts to keep you afloat. You were just a child yourself, but you raised her as best as you could! You sacrificed part of your own childhood for your sister, and I’m sure you would do it again in a heartbeat. You protected her through her school years. And then you went on to protect other people from war. I cannot find one thing to fault you with, aside from never thinking about yourself. I wouldn’t be able to find one thing to hate you for even if I wanted to. There is nothing to forgive, because there is no reason to hate.” Maria’s voice thundered through the room. Yang couldn’t do anything but blink.

“Your friends understand this, that’s why they all fought for you. It’s time for you to see it. You are neither a monster, nor you are to be blamed for all the evil in the world. You are just a little lost girl, trying to find her way back home, blaming herself for everything, because it’s easier than asking for forgiveness.” They both fell silent for what seemed like ages.

 _She is right. Maria is right._  
_**No, she is not. Everyt** h **ing th** a **t ha** pp **ened was my fault.** I **t always was.  
**Was it?_  
_**Who else’s, if** n **ot min** e **? My parent** s’ **? My mother’** s **?**_  
_It doesn’t matter._  
_**…**_  
_It doesn’t matter, because they were all right. Blake, Coco, Maria. Maybe it really is time…_

Yang took a shuddering breath and opened her eyes. If Maria could see her properly, she would surely raise an eyebrow, seeing the shimmering blaze of a newfound determination in Yang’s eyes.

“I can’t forgive myself. Not yet,” Yang said, knotting her fingers together.

 

* * *

 

Blake and Pyrrha silently observed Yang as she entered the apartment and vigorously made her way towards the table the girls were occupying. Watching the blonde drop down on a chair, Blake’s brows shot up, as she met her crimson burning eyes. Turning to Pyrrha, Yang sat quietly for few seconds.

“I need your help,” the blonde said with a steady voice.

“Sure. If I can, I will gladly help you out,” Pyrrha responded with a smile.

“There is something I need to do, but I don’t think I can do it alone.” Yang reached with her prosthetic over the table towards Blake, the faunus immediately covering it with her own hand.

Pyrrha raised her eyebrows, waiting silently for Yang to gather her thoughts. When the blonde finally spoke, her voice was quivering slightly, but the look in her eyes was one of focus and determination.

“I think… I think I want to meet my sister.”


	18. Operation: Red Rose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I am posting this from my deathbed (I'm sick, stomach flu sucks).
> 
> So the meeting is probably a second scene I ever thought of for this story (the first being Yang sitting in the park at the very beginning). It always made me tear up whenever I thought of it and I do hope I managed to at least make it somehow heartwarming. I am currently finishing chapter 20, and it is a bizzarely exciting feeling, getting near the end.
> 
> As always, have a great read, leave a comment if you would like and hope your weekend will be better than mine! 
> 
> Till next time!

Gentle breeze rustled vibrant green leaves, making the sound mix with waves gently splashing along the rocks, creating a mesmerizing melody soothing the nerves and calming the mind. Summer opened her eyes and took a deep breath. Contrary to her namesake she preferred late spring, when everything was still fresh, the weather mostly warm and the world seemed like it was born anew. Patch was beautiful in spring. Vibrant greens of the forests and gentle lullaby of the sea surrounding the island always managed to lift Summer’s spirit whenever she would feel down.

She picked up her brush and nibbled on its end, thinking where to start her newest work. Painting has always been her favorite pastime. When she kicked out Tai and had to work day and night to keep her daughters afloat, she barely had time to sleep, let alone to paint. It was hard. It was too much, really. But for three years she hasn’t allowed herself to waver or think of her constant exhaustion even for a second. Ruby and Yang were all that mattered.

When Taiyang came back for the first time, it was even harder. Summer, even though she hated the thought, was bitter. Raven was dead, and Tai claimed he changed. While apprehensive at first, she didn’t want to keep the girls away from their father, so she gave him a chance. It was such a relief when Tai pulled through. He apologized and proved to Summer that he actually did turn around, it took them almost a year for Summer to be ready to let him back in completely, but she couldn’t deny how big of a burden was gone from her shoulders when she finally did. For a while they managed to be a family once again. Then the war happened and it took her daughters away. Yang went to join the army, deaf at Summer’s and Tai’s cries and pleas. And when it became clear that the conflict won’t resolve itself peacefully, they decided to send Ruby to study in Atlas. Summer never felt lonelier.

Every day was spent thinking about what her daughters were doing, what Ruby was learning, and if Yang was okay. Every time they heard a knock on the door, both she and Tai dreaded it was someone from the army, coming to tell them that Yang was gone. She read and reread every letter Ruby sent from her school, she tried to prolong every short phone call that she got from Yang, but it wasn’t enough.

After Yang and Ruby got back home things were… different. Yang was obviously hurting, traumatized by what happened to her, and neither she nor Tai or even Ruby could get through to her. After that horrible night when Yang attacked Summer, trapped in her nightmare, everything became so much worse. She tried to be there for her daughter, but Yang was suffering, blaming herself for everything and pushing everyone out. Summer’s heart broke when she watched one of her children, get crushed by a burden of guilt she didn’t have to carry. And then, just like that, Yang was gone.

The ache in her heart, knowing that her daughter was somewhere out there, alone and shouldering the weight of the world, was almost unbearable. They searched for her for weeks, she wasn’t anywhere on Patch, and even in Vale nobody has seen her. While apprehensive Summer agreed to ask Qrow for help, he was some sort of big-shot agent in the military and worked with Yang before. He was also Raven’s brother, which Summer knew she shouldn’t blame him for but still for some reason did. Tai seemed to trust him, they did search for Raven together during those 3 years he was away. Qrow tried, but even he could not locate her daughter before he was whisked away on some top secret assignment. Tai was working at Signal again, Ruby was splitting her time between her work in Atlas and Vale, and also didn’t have much time to visit, Yang was gone. Summer missed the days when they were all together. But they were gone now and all she had left were her paintings. And although it turned out she was a really good painter as she was able to sell her paintings and take commissions to make a pretty good living out of it, it wasn’t enough. She missed her daughters.

Being done for the day, she picked up her supplies and the painting that she started working on (it was a landscape of her favorite Cliffside on Patch), and made her way back. The house was cozy and quiet, welcoming, but something was lacking in it for Summer. With a sigh she decided to busy herself with cooking dinner. As she danced around the kitchen, her steps horribly mismatched with the music that was sounding through the empty house, she almost missed it. The knocking sound resounded a bit louder for a second time, finally reaching her ears. Visitors were rare, so Summer was hesitant at first, until the knocking came on for the third time. She dashed to the door and swung it open, coming to a sudden stop at the sight of a tall redheaded girl with a bashful smile.

“He-Hello,” Pyrrha said, fidgeting with the hem of her jacket.

“Oh. My. God. You are Pyrrha Nikos!” Summer squealed.

“Umm… Yes. Hello,” Pyrrha said with her brows high up.

“Oh… OH! Right, sorry, I’m being totally rude, aren’t I? Do you want to come in?” Summer asked, her voice high from excitement.

***

Pyrrha was having a hard time trying to get past how bizarrely she felt. Sitting in a lovely house, looking at what was basically a more mature clone of Ruby, as jittery and excited as the younger girl would be. It was very surreal to listen to a more deep and slightly lower pitched voice of Ruby gush over her.

“Ruby has told me so much about you!” Summer said with a fond smile. “She spoke about you and your time in Atlas often when she came back.”

“She… She did?” Pyrrha asked, nasty feeling slowly settling in her gut.

“I’m so glad she made such good friends there,” Summer said, nodding excitedly. “Not to mention I don’t think she missed out on even one of your fights since she came back. I remember her going to see you live whenever you would have a match in Vale.”

Pyrrha’s eyes went wide as her lip trembled a bit. She blinked fast to get rid of the sudden wetness of her eyes. This was bad, she had to stop Summer before she made it even harder for her.

“So what brings you here? Ruby is not here, unfortunately. She is away in Atlas for business or something,” Summer inquired.

“Umm... Then I was wondering if you could pass a message to Ruby for me,” Pyrrha asked quietly, reaching to her pocket to fish out a folded piece of paper from it.

“Of course! Is everything okay?” The question asked with genuine concern made Pyrrha purse her lips.

“Yes, it’s not urgent, but it is very important. This is my number. Could you pass it on and ask her to call me whenever she comes back?” The redhead slipped the piece of paper on the table.

“Oh, did you change it recently? Ruby said you talk from time to time, so I assumed she had your number already,” Summer said, swiftly taking the written number.

“I… Yeah, that’s my new number. Sorry, but I have to go. I only had a few minutes to spare,” Pyrrha said with a barely audible tremble, as the knot in her stomach tightened. It was worse than she imagined it to be, she had to get out of there.

As they both got up, Summer led both of them to the door. With a smile they said their goodbyes and Pyrrha was on her way to the car that waited for her, parked near the house. The redhead looked back one last time and saw one last wave from Summer as she got into the car and exhaled heavily.

“Everything all right?” Jaune asked.

Pyrrha kept her eyes closed. Bringing Jaune here was a mistake as well.

“Yeah, let’s just go back. I need to tell Yang about today,” Pyrrha sighed quietly.

 

* * *

 

The sound of Pyrrha’s ringtone made Yang jump out of the armchair she was lounging in and promptly trip over her own feet as she tried to get to the couch where Pyrrha worked on her laptop.  The redhead eyed the phone and hesitated before picking it up. She threw Yang, who was scrambling from the floor, a cautious look and answered it, putting her scroll on speaker.

“Umm, hi? Is this Pyrrha?” A familiar voice hit Yang like a punch to the gut. She took a step back and put both of her hands on her mouth. She didn’t even know how to feel about hearing her sister again, but it immediately brought tears to her eyes.

“Yes… H-Hello Ruby,” Pyrrha answered.

An awkward silence set for few moments before Ruby’s voice sounded from the scroll again.

“Hey… So my mom said you had something important to talk about?” Yang couldn’t even register how shy and unsure her sister sounded.

“I… I-Yes. I was wondering if you would agree to meet with me,” Pyrrha stammered out.

“M-Meet? With you? Pyrrha, I…” Ruby started.

“Ruby, please. I know… I know it’s a lot to ask for so suddenly, but this is really important. Please…” Pyrrha pleaded.

“I… okay…” Ruby said in a quiet voice. “I am just in town for couple of days. I-I will have to go back to Atlas for a while soon.”

“It-It’s okay. We can meet once you come back?” Pyrrha asked, exhaling slowly.

“I will be back mid May, so maybe 16th? It’s Sunday.” Ruby seemed to grow some confidence.

Pyrrha looked at Yang, hands still on her mouth and tears streaming over them, who slowly nodded her head.

“That’s great. Meet me in Huntsman Park at 14?” The place and time, chosen long before the talk happened.

“Okay….” Ruby agreed.

Silence befell the room again as Pyrrha tried to think of what to say next.

“Umm… So…” Ruby asked hesitantly. “Is there anything else you wanted to talk about now?”

“N-No… We can talk when we meet.” Pyrrha swallowed heavily.

“Oh… okay…” Ruby said, and Pyrrha could have sworn she heard a bit of disappointment in younger girl’s voice. “It… It was nice to hear you again.”

“Yeah… It was nice to hear you too. I… See you soon, Ruby.” Pyrrha tried really hard not to let her voice tremble.

“Yeah… Bye.” The line went dead, as both girls sat in silence only broken by the blonde’s quiet sobs.

Yang slowly walked and dropped heavily on the couch next to Pyrrha. They continued to stay silent for a while, until finally Yang managed to break it.

“H-Hey, Pyrrha?” Her voice was slightly hoarse.

“Yeah?” The redhead glanced to her side.

“Can… Can you tell me about my sister?” Yang asked, reaching out with her prosthetic to grab the other girl’s hand.

Pyrrha was silent for a while before taking a deep breath to steady herself.

“I met your sister on our first day in Atlas. She spilled her hot chocolate on another girl’s dress just before the opening ceremony. Weiss was so mad. She was just standing there, yelling at Ruby, before I kind of implanted myself into the situation and helped your sister pacify the person who would go and become one of our closest friends during my stay in Atlas.” Pyrrha chuckled slightly at the memory.

“She was so awkward at the start, stuttering and rambling while constantly fidgeting. When she and Weiss turned out to be roommates, I remember Weiss going to every teacher and even trying to get the headmaster to switch her with anyone, not to be in a room with your sister. They did not get along, and Weiss plainly stated that Ruby had cheated to get into Atlas at all. And when we found out she has been accepted two years early, Weiss almost launched a personal war to figure out how Ruby weaseled her way in.” The good times were easy to remember. Pyrrha’s whole stay in Atlas was a fond memory. What came after was not.

“It took her few weeks, but Ruby, being who she was, melted Weiss’s popsicle heart. It didn’t take me or Weiss long before we figured out Ruby was an engineering prodigy. She struggled with basically every other class, but she aced her robotics and engineering course, and Weiss almost blew a coronary when she found out that they put Ruby in advanced courses after the first semester.” Pyrrha got quiet for a while, prompting Yang to almost say something, when the redhead spoke again.

“She spoke about you almost every day. I’m pretty sure Weiss knows your detailed biography. Ruby always told us how amazing you were. How you took care of her when you were little, how you defended her from bullies when she got accepted early into Signal. How scared she was that you went and joined army.” Pyrrha felt Yang squeezing her hand.

“She was very brave, even though there were a lot of times she felt overwhelmed by all of this. I remember her crying into my shoulder, asking me to help her get back to Patch to see her parents, saying that she wanted to leave Atlas. It was hard on her and I tried to be there as much as I could, Weiss tried as well once she managed to accept her growing friendship with Ruby.” Pyrrha sniffed, and wiped a stray tear that made her way down her cheek.

“I was only in Atlas for a year. During my stay there we grew pretty close and leaving was… hard. After that I… We haven’t spoken that much.” Pyrrha choked a sob. “I… I-After I left it was too much. Keeping in touch and I… I’m sorry.”

She felt Yang turn towards her and when she managed to lift her head, she noticed a frown on blonde’s face through her teary eyes.

“Pyrrha? Did… Were you and my sister…?” Yang started, but couldn’t finish her thought.

“I… We...” Pyrrha started, her tone unsure.

“It’s fine. I… Thanks for telling me. Thanks for doing all of this. I can see how hard this is for you too,” Yang said sadly.

Pyrrha just nodded and they went silent sitting on the couch. That’s how Blake found them and immediately freaked out, seeing the puffy eyes of both of them and their wistful expressions.

“What happened?! What’s going on with you two?” Blake’s voice was higher pitched than usual.

“P-Pyrrha talked with Ruby. May 16th,” Yang responded shortly.

“Okay, isn’t that good news though?” Blake asked, a bit confused. “Pyrrha, honey, what’s wrong?”

“I… It was just hard talking with Ruby after all this time,” Pyrrha said dejectedly.

“Why? I mean, you didn’t speak about her that much when you were going to Atlas, weren’t you, like, busy with your crush all the time or somethi…? OH MY GOD!” Blake’s eyes went wide as saucers. “It was her, wasn’t it? Your mysterious crush? You never told us their name…”

Pyrrha nodded slowly, looking at her hands knotted on top of her knees. Blake’s eyes suddenly jolted to Yang who was sitting next to the redhead with a blank expression, seemingly lost in thought.

“Shit, I’m sorry. I just… Shit.” Blake swallowed. “It was such a big deal. I remember Coco nearly pulling all her hair out, trying to make you tell us something more about who...”

“Can we not talk about this, please?” Pyrrha interrupted Blake pleadingly.

Their conversation finally seemed to jolt Yang back into reality.

“Four weeks,” the blonde stated. “Oh god, we… I have four weeks. What do I do now?” Her panicked voice filled the room.

“Now… We wait, I guess?” Blake answered, but she couldn’t keep a small smile form creeping onto her lips.

***

What Yang expected to feel like eternity, seemed to breeze by before she even noticed.  
That is not to say she didn’t do anything but watch the clock during those four weeks.  
Blake convinced her to put her arm as she went to work. It only resulted in 2 broken glasses and Coco almost killing herself twice while she darted out of her office after getting message from Blake asking her to keep an eye on Yang during her first day with her prosthetic at work. She managed to slip on the carpet in her office, missing the corner of her desk by millimeters, and after speeding through the kitchen while almost getting flayed by Jaune who was prepping his station, she shot onto the main floor of the bar, immediately homing in on Yang and darting to her.

Yang eyed Coco struggling to catch a breath while she continued to make sure the cocktail tables were set properly.

“…”

“…”

Both of the girls stayed silent, with Coco getting redder with frustration every second until finally she exploded.

“Whatever! It’s not like it’s a big deal or anything, right…? Robocop,” she said and immediately cringed at her own words.

“Ro… Robocop? Really?” Yang asked incredulously.

“Ugh… I hate all of you!” Coco got even redder and furiously stomped away.

After that the brunette seemed to snap at everyone for the rest of the night, but they all took it with a smile, happy that their boss was finally out of her office and acted more like herself which only seemed to rile Coco even more.

Yang also managed to make Maria kick her out, telling her she was tired of Yang pacing and changing her mind about meeting her sister every 5 minutes.  After the old lady and Yang had their talk about forgiveness, the blonde told her about needing Ruby’s and her parent’s forgiveness before she could forgive herself, and Maria explained that she could only guide Yang on the path she herself has to choose, and if she thought meeting her family was something she wanted and was ready to do, she should do it. The only thing Maria warned her about was to be ready to accept however it will go. After that every session became about Ruby and the meeting, and finally Maria had enough telling Yang to get a grip, and come back once she is done with her meeting.

The blonde also went and met with Fox. She apologized to him and he apologized once more to her. They sat in silence, breaking it only to have a toast to Sage and Scarlett with some coffee. Fox seemed to marginally cheer up after finding out that Yang started to use her prosthetic, and Yang told him he should visit Crosshares form time to time. He was reluctant, but promised to drop by once Blake or Yang cleared with Coco that it was okay with her.

Other than that, Yang paced around the apartment, the rooftop, the park, and Crosshares. She stopped sleeping to the point of exhaustion where Blake would find her passed out in random places around their house, on the couch, at the table, on the balcony chairs.

Blake was exhausted as well, just because Yang’s nervousness rubbed off on her. Coco was openly freaking out since she had to be back in Argus for few days during Yang’s meeting and Pyrrha was quiet and pensive about the whole ordeal.

It was the longest and the shortest four weeks of everyone’s life.

 

* * *

 

Puffy clouds flew by, racing on the sky, and while the day itself was sunny, the chilling wind took away some of its warmth. It meant that less people than normally frequented the park and Pyrrha decided it was for the best as it will be much easier to give Yang and Ruby the space they would most definitely need once they finally meet.

She paced around the alley that led to a fountain with a statue of the Huntsman on top of it, a place she texted Ruby to meet at. She was used to nerves, as they always rose up before every fight she had, but somehow this felt different. This time her skill and fighting prowess weren’t going to help her come out on top. She knew her role in this meeting was small. She was supposed to contact Ruby, agree to meet her, and serve as segue for Yang to gather her courage, and come and talk to her sister, and she knew it would probably be much harder for the blonde.

Yang mirrored Pyrrha’s pacing in front of Blake on the grassy hill next to the alley. She bought a hoodie to hide her hair under, and Coco lent her one of the infinite pairs of sunglasses she owned, with a threat that if they were not returned in a pristine condition that they left her hands in, she would beat up Yang with her own prosthetic. Although the other girls tried to persuade Yang to forego all of that, the blonde wanted to go ‘incognito’ just in case she chickened out at the last second, not wanting to let her sister see her if she decided to not go through with the meeting.

Blake sighed quietly. She as well could barely control her nerves, and she wanted desperately to somehow alleviate some of Yang’s worry, but she didn’t think there was anything she could say or do to help the blonde. She reminded herself that she was here to support Yang, and give her a nudge if the situation demanded it, but she also wanted to be there for Pyrrha. Once Yang met her sister, she knew the redhead would need her, as it was obvious that the meeting was a big deal for her as well.

 

_**Th** i **s is a** mis **take.**_   
_No, it isn’t. I have to do this. It’s time._   
_S **h** e d **oesn’t want to talk with me. Wh** y **w** ou **ld** s **he, after everything I did?**_   
_She will. She is my sister and she will probably be mad, but I have to do it. I have to accept and face the consequences of everything I did._   
_O **r** m **aybe I can r** u **n away! Just turn ba** c **k and** h **aul my ass somewhere else.  
**No… No more running. Never again._

Yang’s internal debate and pacing stopped the moment Blake’s hand dropped on her shoulder.

“She’s here,” the faunus said with a smile, pointing towards the alley with her chin.

Yang locked eyes with Blake’s ambers and she had to muster every single ounce of strength to turn around towards the alley to see a slim figure in torn jeans, leather jacket with red hoodie underneath make her way slowly towards Pyrrha. Yang gripped Blake’s forearm and desperately squeezed it, only loosening once Blake covered her palm with her own.

***

Pyrrha stopped her pacing, seemingly rooted to the ground, as she saw Ruby heading towards her. She swallowed heavily while she took in the younger girl’s appearance. Taller than she remembered and face sharper, childlike features gone, replaced by more womanly, grown up look. Her hair was slightly longer, shaved on the left side, and the red tips reached higher than before. Even through all those changes Pyrrha easily saw the Ruby she knew. The same sliver eyes shining with mirth, and the same sheepish and shy smile on her lips. The younger girl stopped a few steps away from the redhead and Pyrrha completely missed Weiss, standing way back in the alley behind Ruby.

“He-Hello,” Pyrrha sang, although her voice wavered a bit. Ruby seemed to inhale sharply at that, and her eyes went a bit wider.

“Hi.” The shorter girl smiled faintly.

The awkward silence that fell upon them after their greeting stretched for a while. Pyrrha opened her mouth to say something a few times, but each time no sound left her mouth and Ruby started to fidget uncomfortably.

“Sooo…” Ruby said, digging the tip of her heavy boot into the ground, knotting her hands behind her back.

“It’s… Good to see you again, Ruby.” Pyrrha tried to smile, taken aback by such familiar sight in front of her.

“Yeah, it’s awesome to see you too.” Ruby flashed her a slightly bigger smile. “So, what’s so important that it warranted reaching out to me? Is everything okay?”

“I... Yeah,” Pyrrha said, trying to ignore the pang of guilt rampaging through her heart at the words of Yang’s sister. She was sure Ruby wasn’t trying to hurt her and didn’t mean anything bad by what she said, but Pyrrha was perfectly capable of guilt tripping herself into feeling ashamed.

There was another stretch of silence and Ruby was about to say something before she heard Pyrrha exhale loudly, reaching to make sure her ponytail was tightly wound in place. What Ruby didn’t know was that was supposed to be a sign for Yang to make her way to them.

“Yes, everything will be fine in a second.” Pyrrha smiled, albeit a bit sadly, as she circled the smaller girl to make sure that Ruby was standing with her back towards the hill.

“Just remember to keep an open mind and please understand that while I might not have shown it, I care about you and that is why I am doing this, okay?” the redhead said, slowly putting her palms on the other girl’s shoulders, which seemed to thoroughly confuse Ruby.

“Good luck,” Pyrrha said, taking few steps back.

***

“Blake, I don’t think I can do this,” Yang said, taking half a step back after they noticed Pyrrha fiddling with her hair.

“Yang, it is fine. It’s going to be all right!” Blake said, turning to face Yang who was shaking slightly.

“I… I-Blake, I…” Yang stuttered, but was quieted by the faunus, who put her palms to her cheeks, forcing the blonde to look at Blake.

“You got this, Yang. Everything will be okay, I promise. You can do this,” the faunus said with a wide smile. She slowly put her hand on Yang’s back and gently pushed her towards the alley. It didn’t take much as the blonde’s legs seemingly started moving automatically, taking her slowly down the hill and toward her sister.

Yang’s mind went completely blank as she made her way towards the duo standing in the park alley, pulling her hood off and taking off the sunglasses. She didn’t see Pyrrha take few steps back with a smile, she stopped noticing the people, the birds, and even the park itself stopped existing for her. Only the small girl with the red hood mattered. Her legs carried her until she was few steps behind the pair.

“R… Rr-Ruby?” Yang stuttered.

The moment Yang’s voice reached her sister, Ruby went completely rigid. Her suddenly shaking hands went up to her chest as she very slowly turned around. The moment her silver eyes took in the sight of her sister, standing right there, her hands fell limply to her sides, her mouth slightly opened and eyes went wide as saucers.

“R-Ruby, I… Harrumph!” All the air was suddenly forced out of Yang’s lungs as she fell backwards, tackled into a hug that she was sure was going to crack few ribs at the very least.

Ruby didn’t even try to speak, she just hugged her sister, laying on Yang’s lap and wailing loudly. Yang’s left hand automatically wrapped her sister in a hug as flood of tears leaked onto her cheeks. The blonde was looking forward but wasn’t seeing anything. She missed how Pyrrha sniffed and turned to walk away, noticing Weiss and slowly making her way towards the white-haired woman. The only thing that mattered to Yang was her sister desperately clutching to her, shaking violently as she cried loudly.

It took Ruby 15 minutes to calm down enough to suddenly jolt up and grab her sister’s face between her palms and look at her frantically.

“Oh my god! Yang, I… You… You left and we searched, and I... We… Oh my god! Are you okay?! What happened?! Oh my god, Yang! I… I missed you so much and we were so worried, and I...” Ruby started rambling at light speed, so much that even Yang, who was pretty adept at deciphering her sister’s hyper speed word vomit, was having trouble following all of it. The massive hiccups Ruby got after crying also didn’t help at all.

“R-Ruby, breathe. I-I’m okay… I’m fine…” Yang started saying, taking in her sister’s blotchy face, but she suddenly sobbed heavily and hugged the shorter girl tightly, hiding in the crook of her neck. Ruby’s response was exactly the same, and they both started sobbing into each other’s necks for a while.

Once they calmed down again, Yang propped them both to stand up, which turned out to be a pretty hard task, considering Ruby refused to let Yang go for even a second. When they both managed to get back up, they made their way to the closest bench and sat down, with Ruby immediately almost crawling onto blonde’s lap in another tight hug. Yang took few moments to gather her courage before she managed to say something.

“Ruby, I… I am so sor...” She started, but was cut off by her sister.

“I’m so sorry, Yang!” Ruby almost yelled into Yang’s chest. The blonde’s eyes went wide.

“What?” That was all Yang managed to say.

“I… I… We tried to search for you, but you were gone and mom and dad and I kept looking, and uncle Qrow looked as well _,_ butweneverfoundyouandIjuststartedworkingagain.” Ruby shot out the words as if they were from a machine gun, until she had to take a breath. That seemed to calm her down as she continued much slower. “I… I wanted to find you, but we had no idea where you went, and I… I missed you so much!” The short girl’s voice got muffled as she nuzzled her face into Yang.

“Ruby, I… Are you not mad at me?” Yang asked, scrunching her eyebrows.

“What?! Why would I be mad?!” Ruby’s head shot up, nearly breaking Yang’s nose, her silver eyes wide.

“That I left and I… For what happened with Summer and then you, and I… Ruby, I am so sorry for everything. For hurting Summer and almost hurting you. For leaving. I am so fucking sorry for everything I did.” Yang was pretty sure she cried out her eyes before, but to her surprise they still got wet as she looked down, not being able to face her sister.

“What? No, Yang! Of course I’m not mad! Mom is fine and so am I, nobody is mad at you! Is… Is that why you l-left? You thought we would be m-mad?” Ruby’s voice was getting weaker as she spoke.

“I… I didn’t want to hurt any of you. I thought that you would be better without me. You would all be safe,” Yang said, choking a sob.

“Yaaang, nobody was ever mad at you… We love you and we just wanted to be there for you. And I missed you. WE all missed you! I was so worried about you,” Ruby said sadly, bringing Yang’s head into her chest and gently stroking her hair as her sister sobbed and shuddered.

“I-I’m… so… sorry… Ruby, I’m sorry…” Yang was barely able to get the words out between heavy sobs that wrecked her body.

“Oh, Yang… It’s okay,” Ruby said, her voice tearful, as she hugged her sister’s head. “I love you.”

“I l-love you t-too.” Yang barely managed to reply. “I was s-so scared that you would h-hate mm-e. I’m s-so s-sorry…”

“You… You thought that I would h-hate you?” Ruby froze on the spot. “A-All this time you were alone and thinking that we h-hated y-you?” She deflated, realizing what her sister had to be going through. While Ruby had her parents, Yang had nobody. Just thinking about how lonely and scared her sister had to be, broke Ruby’s heart so violently she almost slid off the bench. Yang brought her head up, holding limp Ruby as she took in tears pooling in her silver eyes and her trembling lip.

“Y-You… Y-Yang, you… Oh god…” Ruby’s voice quivered as her equally shaky arms enveloped Yang into the gentlest hug she could manage. “I love you, Y-Yang. I could never ever hate you. You are my dearest person in the entire world, my sister. I will always love you. So please… Please don’t leave again, let me be there for you…” Ruby pleaded.

“I… I am not leaving. I am here, Ruby. This time for good, I promise,” Yang said. She felt so washed out and exhausted. But nothing of that mattered. Ruby was here. Ruby didn’t hate her, wasn’t mad. She loved her, and Yang loved her back. That was all that mattered.

They stayed like that for a while, comfortable in silence, enveloped by each other. Neither of them knew how long it was, and neither of them cared at this point. It wasn’t until Ruby suddenly jolted back up again, jumping to the ground.

“Oh my god! We need to call mom and dad, I need to tell them I found you!” Ruby excitedly said ignoring streams of tears dropping from her cheeks as she searched for her scroll. Yang panicked slightly. Meeting Ruby was one thing, but meeting Summer and Tai was something else entirely. She needed time to prepare for that. She rose to her feet and quickly grabbed Ruby’s hand that was holding a scroll. Silver eyes rose to meet crimson, with question brimming inside them.

“Ruby, I… Please wait. We need to talk,” Yang said quietly.

“Yang?” Ruby let herself be pulled back to the bench.

“I… Listen, I am in a pretty hard place right now. It took a lot for me to meet up with you here, and I almost chickened out a few times. If not for Blake, Coco and Pyrrha, I would never have been brave enough to make this meeting happen.” Yang tried to figure out how to explain everything so that Ruby would understand.

“Hard place? What’s wrong? Are you ok?! Is something wrong?!” Ruby panicked.

“I’m fine. I’m just not in the best place mentally. I am getting there, but there is still stuff I need to figure out. I’m here, Ruby, and I promise I won’t disappear again, but I’m just not ready to meet Summer and Tai. I need some more time, so please… Don’t tell them we met,” Yang said, grabbing Ruby’s hand gently.

“What? Yang, but they… they were so devastated when you left. They were so worried about you, we have to tell them!” Ruby frowned.

“R-Ruby, please… I’m begging you, I-I know I fucked up a lot of stuff, but I j-just can’t. Please give me a bit more time,” Yang pleaded, tears gathering in her eyes again. Ruby was taken aback by the desperate look her sister threw at her. Yang was the strongest person she knew and it was hard to comprehend how small, broken and scared she looked.

“Yang, I…” Something was clearly wrong with Yang, Ruby could tell. It was even worse than before she left. “What happened to you?”

“Ruby… I’m going to tell you everything you want to know, just please... Give me some more time to prepare myself to meet them, please…” Yang said, wiping her tears.

“Wait, so you are not going to come back to Patch with me?” Ruby said, panic rising at the thought of her sister leaving her again.

“N-No… I… Ruby, I can’t. Not yet.” Yang threw her sister an apologetic look.

“Where will you go then? Do you have any place to stay?” Ruby tried really hard not to freak out.

“Y-Yeah… I’ve been living with Blake for a while now,” Yang said, rummaging her pocket for a piece of paper Blake gave her, and after finding it she gave it to Ruby. “Here, this is my address, scroll number, as well as Blake’s scroll number. So you can contact or visit me if you would like.”

“What?! You are not going now, are you? You said you won’t leave!” Ruby grabbed the paper with one hand and Yang’s arm with another. She was terrified of letting Yang go just when she found her again.

“N-No. Not now, but I can’t go back to Patch yet, Ruby. I’m here in Vale. Once we talk, you will know where to find me. I can even tell you where I work. You can come by at any time. Just please, don’t tell Summer and Tai. Please let me be the one to tell them,” Yang said frantically.

“Oh… O-Okay. But please, tell me what happened, please! Who is this Blake, and how do you know Pyrrha?! How are you? You are working? Where is your prosthetic?” Ruby seemed a bit unnerved and impatient. She wanted to know everything.

“Whoa, relax, Ruby. We have a lot of time, so I will be able to tell you everything you want,” Yang said and smiled slightly. Even though she still felt shaky and unsure, it felt so good to talk with Ruby again. It was like finally something made sense in Yang’s life. Ruby always made sense, even when she didn’t make sense, which was, well, most of the time. It was the one thing in Yang’s life that she never had any doubts about.

She loved Ruby no matter what and Ruby loved her as well. And that feeling, she realized, made all the difference in the world.


	19. Two steps forward, one step back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beacuse we can't have too much happiness, right guys?  
> All that is left for me to write is the last chapter and I still can't wrap my head around the fact that this is all comming to an end.
> 
> As always, hope you lovely people enjoy this chapter! Leave a comment if you would like and I wish you all a great weekend!

“So… Where do you want to start?” Yang asked, turning slightly towards her sister. While the lack of sleep, the nerves and the tempest of emotions took its toll on her, she felt amazing, sitting next to her sister and finally being able to talk with her after so long.

“Where did you go when you left? No, wait! What happened to your prosthetic? Did you lose it? Wait, tell me how are you… I-I wanna know everything,” Ruby said quickly, rubbing her head sheepishly.  

“Okay, so… When I left, I kinda figured you guys would search for me on Patch and then in Vale. I didn’t want to be found, so I took a boat that was going west, along the coast, and made my way towards border with Vacuo. I spent some time roaming around, but it’s not like there is really anything worthwhile there. I left too much of myself in Vacuo already, so that was a no-go.” Yang sighed, telling her story was easier than she thought it would be. “After a while I figured I might as well make my way back towards Vale.”

Ruby eyed her, intently taking in every word she said. She seemed to be slightly jittery, brimming with questions, but she tried to stay quiet not to disrupt Yang. The blonde went quiet for a second, taken aback by the familiarity of the sight. Ruby always listened to her as if every word she spoke was the most important thing on the planet.

“It took me few weeks, maybe months to get to Vale. I don’t know, I didn’t exactly care about time back then. I tried to take odd jobs to get whatever sort of cash I could manage, since I left everything back in Patch when I left. But it was hard. The problem was that nobody wanted to hire a cripple. I was tired and hungry. Hunger was the worst. I… Whenever I would get desperate enough, I would steal some stuff from farms and markets. And all this time the only thing I did, was beating myself up for what I did, for what happened to me back during the war. I blamed myself for everything and every day I cared less about what happened to me.” Yang felt Ruby’s hands squeeze her forearm, and she smiled slightly. She was looking around the park, but she was sure if she faced her sister, she would see those silver platters filling with tears.

“It got really bad. I… I was out of cash, hungry and tired. I somehow managed to steal some cheap booze from a dingy shop near the outskirts of Vale and made my way to this park… And, well, there is no other way to say it, I got the living crap beaten out of me,” Yang said with a smirk, bracing herself for what she knew was coming.

“WHAT?! YOU WERE HURT?! HOW? WHAT? WHO? WHO DID THIS?! ARE YOU OKAY?!” Ruby jumped to her feet in panic, looking over her sister to make sure she was okay.

“I’m fine now, Ruby. Some douchebags were harassing this poor girl named Velvet, and I went to help her and it didn’t go very well. That’s when I met Blake and Coco.” Yang smiled. As bad as it all was back then, she did meet two very important people to her back then.

“Wait… Coco and Blake? Wait! As in Pyrrha’s Coco and Blake?” Ruby asked incredulously.

“Yup,” Yang popped.

Ruby just looked at her with a baffled expression.

“Blake took me in and nursed me back to health, and Coco gave me a job. Honestly, it sounds like a silly fairytale, but that’s what happened and I should have been so grateful… I should have been…” Yang didn’t know what to say.

“You should have been what, Yang?” Ruby asked gently.

“I… Ruby, you have to understand that I was a mess. Not only physically, but mentally as well. I was already a wreck. I carried so much guilt, so many bad things inside me. I stuffed it all down, tried to drink my problems away. I was just… existing. Drifting and somehow managing to stay afloat, but I didn’t care. I had no home and I thought I had no family to go back to. I felt worthless. I didn’t deserve any of you. I thought that you were all better off without me ruining every single thing I touched.” Yang smiled sadly, and Ruby launched herself to envelop her sister’s waist in a hug. She sobbed, quietly calling Yang’s name as the blonde gently stroke her short hair.

“I didn’t want help, even though everyone tried. Blake and Coco gave me so much and all it did was making me feel worse. Some bad shit happened. I really fucked up a lot of things, Ruby. I am still trying to make amends, but Blake convinced me to get help. Like professional help, and even though it’s really, really hard, I am trying.” Yang figured it was probably best to spare Ruby the details for now. She knew eventually she would have to tell her, but now was not the time.

They stayed quiet for a while, Ruby seemingly incapable of separating herself from Yang, and the blonde just relished in the closeness she never dreamt of feeling again. She took a deep breath and a wide smile appeared on her face. Strawberries and bubblegum. Ruby might have been a grown up woman now, but she would always be Ruby. The familiarity of the scent and her sister clinging to her made Yang feel safe. Like maybe, just maybe everything would be all right.

“As to what happened to my arm, I have it. I’m just not using it,” Yang said and Ruby finally separated herself from her sister with a frown.

“What, why? Is it broken? Did something happen to it? Was it damaged in this fight you had?” Ruby’s eyes darted from Yang’s stump to her face.

“No, it’s fine and it’s working… It’s not… Ruby, I-I couldn’t use it. Ever since I almost hit you back in Patch, this arm became the symbol of my failure for me. I couldn’t bare looking at it, let alone wear it. I don’t even know why I took it. Probably because I know how much trouble you and your friend went through to make sure I got it. But it was too heavy for me… I only recently managed to put it on and it was a hell of a struggle at the beginning.” Yang suddenly chuckled, interrupting Ruby who was about to say something and making her frown deepen.

“I actually asked Pyrrha to stick around whenever I would wear it just so that she could beat me up if I lost it and endangered somebody.” Yang threw Ruby a quick smirk.

“You did what?!” Ruby almost yelled. “Sorry, I… Sorry. I just… You do know that Pyrrha would never hurt you though, right?” Ruby asked shyly.

“I think I did know, Ruby, but very little of my life as of late had been led by anything remotely close to common sense,” Yang said, moving her stump. ”I only recently started actually using it normally, and it still makes me nervous. I couldn’t risk bringing it here. This was too important. I will get there, I just need time.” The echo of a smile danced on Yang’s lips for a second.

“Yang, I… I don’t know what to say… I am so sorry!” The younger girl suddenly spat out. “I should have looked for you harder. I-I should have been there from the start. Instead you had to go through all of it alone.” Ruby choked a sob.

“Ruby, I… You don’t have to apologize. I didn’t want anyone to find me. I wanted to be alone because that’s what I thought I deserved.” Yang reached out to stroke her sister’s hair.

“But you never deserved any of this, you...” Ruby started frantically.

“And I am starting to realize that now, Ruby, and it’s still hard. It’s still there, you know. I am still not… me. I don’t know if I ever was truly me. It took some heavy shit, some good people, and a crazy old lady to make me start figuring things out, but I am working on it. And I will get there. Now that I have you back, I will get there, right?” Yang asked half seriously. She couldn’t help but feel like it was all too good.

“Of course! I am so not going anywhere and neither are you! Just please talk to me next time something happens. I- I know I’m not the best at interacting with people and I can’t give any solid advice, but I still w-want to help. You are my s-sister and I love you so m-much.” Ruby’s voice wavered as she half laid down on Yang’s lap, still kneeling on the ground.

***

The moment Yang got to Ruby, Pyrrha backed off and went to the side, wanting to join Blake at the hill. A patch of something white and shiny caught her attention, and she immediately recognized the woman standing some way back in the alley. Changing her course, Pyrrha made her way toward the old acquaintance. She heard Ruby’s cries, but she forced herself to keep her eyes trained on the light blue orbs, that regarded her equally carefully.

“Hello, Miss Nikos.” Weiss’s tone was flat, and her face expressionless.

“Hello… Weiss,” Pyrrha answered carefully.

“I must say, it does not seem that your important business is very important, seeing as your meeting with Ruby didn’t even last 5 minutes. I really do hope you did not waste Ruby’s time by dragging her to this meeting just on some meaningless whim.” Weiss arched her eyebrow, her tone disapproving.

Pyrrha sighed. Weiss was never the easiest person to deal with and it took both her and Ruby quite some time before they managed to peel off the layer of thick frozen skin the heiress hid behind. And a while after they became friends, she warmed up to Pyrrha, the redhead did fully expect Weiss to be less than friendly with her now. It was, after all, nobody else but her that “abandoned” both girls and Weiss did seem to grow rather protective of Ruby the more time they spent with each other. Pyrrha hurt Ruby. She no longer had the right to call herself Weiss’s friend.

“On the contrary, Weiss. It is extremely important. It’s just that it was never  about me and Ruby.” Pyrrha smiled lightly.

“Of course it wasn’t. It’s not like you care or anything.” Weiss scoffed.

The flash of hurt that fell onto Pyrrha’s face was enough to make her eyes misty and for Weiss to wince at her own words.

“I am… sorry. I shouldn’t have said that,” Weiss said slowly.

“No, it’s okay… You are right. I never gave you any reason to think otherwise, but I do care, Weiss. I really do,” Pyrrha said, quickly rubbing her eyes. “Would you like to join me and Blake for a bit? We will explain everything to you.”

Weiss seemed to hesitate for a second, before muttering “sure” and following Pyrrha towards the hill. She threw a glance towards were Ruby was, now on the ground, curled in the arms of another girl with vibrant golden locks that covered her back, the volume of it making her jealous.

“Wait… is that…?” Weiss asked, grabbing Pyrrha’s arm, and giving her an incredulous look.

“Yes. That is Yang,” Pyrrha answered.

“But-But she was missing, h-how is she here?” Weiss tried to speak through her shock. She couldn’t remember how many nights she spent trying to calm Ruby down, as she cried herself to sleep. How many times has she seen the looks of sadness and hurt that Ruby and her family threw every time something reminded them of Yang. And now she was here. Weiss couldn’t even wrap her head around how monumental that was. She followed Pyrrha automatically, staring at the two girls hugging on the grass, as the redhead led her up the hill.

When they reached the top, Blake threw them a warm smile. Weiss finally tore her gaze away from the sisters and focused on the dark-haired faunus in front of her. She marveled for a second at how accurately Pyrrha described her friend to both Weiss and Ruby back in Atlas. _A faunus and a Schnee. Standing together, caring about the same people. Take that, father dearest._  Weiss thought to herself with no small amount of satisfaction as she stepped close and threw her arm out, chin slightly lifted.

“Hello, Miss Belladonna. I heard a lot about you.” The snow-haired girl said with an official tone. Pyrrha chuckled, because Weiss was always anything but unprofessional.

“Likewise, but please call me Blake. It’s nice to finally meet you.” Blake shook the extended hand. This was certainly getting interesting, to say the least.

 

* * *

 

 

Yang felt her sister shiver under her arm.  She completely lost the track of time while she listened to Ruby excitedly giving her detailed history of everything she did or was working on. After the blonde finished recounting her story, she forced Ruby to tell her what she has been up to, and while she could barely understand the, by now light-speed, rambling, she still slowly sank into a blissful feeling of familiarity and joy of having Ruby near her. It was late afternoon and the temperature was falling into what normal people would consider ‘cold’ and even though Yang was not bothered by it at all, her sister seemed to be.

With a sigh, Yang stopped Ruby’s monologue which was becoming incomprehensible, given how hard her teeth started chattering.

“Ruby, unless you want to become a very energetic popsicle, I think we should start heading back,” the blonde said, getting up.

“What-t!? N-No, Y-Yang, I d-don’t want to go yet.” Ruby grabbed Yang’s arm frantically.

“Ruby… I know, but hey, come on, I can’t have you freeze to death right after we just met again. You know where to find me, we can meet up tomorrow or whenever you want.” Yang smiled and ruffled her sister’s hair. It was such a mechanical action, she didn’t even think about it as she checked her scroll. “Besides, Blake wrote me that they went to café for a bit and that she is waiting back at the apartment.”

“Yang… Please.” Ruby’s gaze dropped to the ground as she spoke quietly, fidgeting with the hem of one of her sleeves. “Just… A bit longer? Please.”

Yang’s eyes watered at Ruby’s pleading tone. How could she even consider refusing her sister? She missed her dearly and she couldn’t even imagine the meeting going better than it did. But she was exhausted. Lack of sleep and the nerves finally catching up to her, making her feel like she could fall into a coma right there on the bench.

“O-Okay… You wanna come over to Blake’s apartment? I could introduce you.” Yang honestly felt torn. She wanted to rest and she figured there would be things to think about and feelings to feel, but she also didn’t want Ruby to leave. Not when they finally found each other again.

***

Yang waited, the building that housed their apartment towering over her, even if it wasn’t that tall, it still made blonde’s nerves flare up. She waited patiently as Ruby tried and failed not to ramble to someone over her scroll.  She heard her sister whine “Buuut Weisssss”, and remembering it was Ruby’s and Pyrrha’s friend from Atlas, she smiled to herself. It was nice to know Ruby had someone to look after her while Yang was gone.

The blonde was confused, she had no idea what she was nervous about. She met with Ruby, who didn’t blame her for everything or hated her like she assumed she would, and now she is going to introduce her to Blake… Was that it? Was she worried that Blake and Ruby wouldn’t get along? That would be really bad, right? Yang would do absolutely anything for Ruby, but Blake was also an incredibly important person in her life, after everything they went through together. She snorted at the thought of Ruby not getting along with anyone and she knew Blake would do everything in her power to make sure that Yang felt comfortable. When the blonde messaged her, the faunus seemed extremely excited at the prospect of meeting Ruby, judging by the amount of exclamation marks she sent in her response.

Her nerves alleviated a bit, she noticed Ruby standing in front of her and smiling gently. Throwing her sister a bit tamer smile, Yang led them towards what she came to call home over the last few months.

 

Blake waited at the table, excitement and nerves pooling in her stomach. The warmth that enveloped her at the thought that things were finally looking up for Yang made her giddy. She tried not to squirm too much, a smile gracing her lips ever since Yang messaged her, asking if it was okay if she brought Ruby back with her for a bit. She had to admit she felt like a kid that was about to be presented with a new toy.

Hearing a shuffle at the door as two women entered the apartment, Blake darted to her feet, trying to wipe her slightly clammy hands on her pants. While she was mostly excited, she was slightly nervous too. She used to be very timid towards new people, even though nowadays she could manage mostly without any problems. Her meeting with Weiss went rather well, both girls taking a quick liking to each other, if not counting for the awkward atmosphere between the heiress and Pyrrha.

But that was different. While Weiss was also someone who Pyrrha remembered fondly, Blake knew that it was Ruby who truly was on Pyrrha’s mind. She remembered the redhead sulking a lot after her return from Atlas. Only once she met Jaune again, in Vale of all places, she cheered up a bit. Ruby was also Yang’s sister, which made her directly connected to two people Blake had felt very strongly about.

Yang entered first and gave Blake an honest, wide smile (this time, Blake had no doubts about its legitimacy), and even though she looked worn out, she stepped to the side and let through a much shorter, slim girl. Short, brown hair with red dipped tips, cut one-sidedly, framed a sharp, pretty and maybe slightly impish face. Her silver eyes were big and sparkling, with almost child-like enthusiasm.

“So, Blake, this is my sister, Ruby,” Yang said with a barely noticeable note of pride in her voice.

“Hello, it’s nice to finally meet you, Ruby,” the faunus said, right before her eyes went wide as Ruby launched herself towards Blake who didn’t even have a chance to react. Yang, knowing how much of a hug monster her sister was, swiftly caught Ruby by her waist and with a slight “harrumph” the brown-haired girl was stopped in her tracks.

“Calm down there, Ruby. Not everyone likes to be floored with a hug. We talked about this, remember? Ask first, tackle later,” Yang said, ruffling her sister’s hair again.

“Yaaaaaaang, leave my hair alone,” Ruby whined, chasing her sister’s hands off her head. “Sorry, I just really wanted to hug you for everything you did for my sis, Blake. It’s nice to meet you too!”

“It’s okay.” Blake chuckled. “So I made some tea and hot chocolate.”

“Oh. My. God. You are like the bestest person ever. You didn’t tell me she was the bestest, Yang!” Ruby said excitedly at the mere mention of chocolate.

“Told you she would be happy. Thanks, Blake.” Yang smiled softly, she was glad she messaged Blake and asked her to get some hot chocolate prepared for Ruby. It was worth it just to see Ruby smile so purely.

The three of them fell into an easy light conversation, with Ruby and Blake trading back stories from their jobs or lives. Yang chimed in from time to time, but half an hour later, after Yang’s head slipped from her hand and promptly smacked the table as she dozed off, they decided it was probably best for Yang to head to bed.

***

The door to Yang’s room opened quietly and Ruby slipped out, moving slowly. Yang asked her to stay until she fell asleep, and Ruby gladly obliged.

“Everything okay?” Blake asked gently.

“Yeah, she passed out almost immediately once she got into bed. She seemed very tired.” Ruby shrugged.

“Yeah, she didn’t have much rest lately. She was really nervous about meeting you,” Blake said, putting a sandwich on the table and waving towards it. “Made you a turkey sandwich, I’m sure you must be hungry. I can whip you something more concrete, if you would like.”

“Thanks! I am actually starving. I kind of forgot about food with Yang and everything,” Ruby said gratefully, dropping down on the chair and starting to munch on the sandwich.

They sat in silence, Blake sipping her tea while Ruby inhaled her sandwich. It was still pretty early, all things considered, and the faunus really wanted to hear some more about both Yang and Ruby. Seeing the blonde so lively, happy even, was an almost otherworldly experience for Blake. It was like Yang was a completely different person, and the hints of what Blake and Coco both had seen through the veil of sadness and hurt in the blonde were nothing in comparison. This is what she should be. Happy and at peace, surrounded by people who love her.

“Soo, Ruby,” Blake started, as the brown-haired girl looked at her, mid-bite. Chuckling slightly, the faunus asked “Would you like to stay a bit longer? I wouldn’t be opposed to listening to some more stories about Yang.”

“I… I would love to, but I wouldn’t want to be a bother,” Ruby said shyly.

“You are not. I know how much you mean to Yang, so stay as long as you want, and feel free to drop by whenever you want.” Blake smiled.

“I just… It feels wrong to just leave like that right after getting her back, you know?” Ruby said, putting her hands around the mug.

“Hey, it’s okay. She is not going anywhere, I promise.” Blake gave the younger girl a reassuring smile.

“I know, but… Blake, c-can you tell me what happened to her? I know she said she is in a bad place and is working through things, but there is something more. I can see it in her.”

Blake frowned. “Ruby, I… I think that’s something you will have to discuss with Yang at some point. I wouldn’t want to do anything that would undo the progress she made so far.”

“Oh… I-You are probably right. I just wish… that there was something I could do to make it all go away.” Ruby’s voice was a bit shaky.

“Yeah, so do I…” Blake sighed.

Ruby eyed the faunus curiously.

“Ummm, Blake? I… Thank you for being here for Yang. I wish she never left, but I am glad that she managed to find someone like you to help her through everything.” The warm smile that graced the younger girl’s features made the faunus feel all kinds of things, most of them positive, but there was still the lingering guilt that she could have done more.

“I didn’t really do anything.” Blake smiled sadly.

“That’s not how she tells it.” Ruby’s eyes shined in the light of the room. “She said that she wouldn’t be able to do any of this without you being there. She talked about you a lot, you know, how you helped and were there for her. That makes you the hero in my eyes.”

Blake felt a slight blush creep onto her cheeks, she wasn’t accustomed to being praised like that. Her first impression of Ruby was that of an incredibly sweet albeit a bit childish girl, but the faunus started to notice how pure and honest the girl was. She wondered how hard it had to be for her to suddenly loose her sister like that for such a long time. _No, it doesn’t matter anymore! She’s here with Yang and it's all going to be fine._

“You know, I still can’t wrap my head around all of this. Yang lives in Vale, probably like 20-30 minutes from where Weiss’s apartment is. If I just took time and walked around a bit, I might have ran into her sooner,” Ruby said with a bit of a pout.

“I doubt that. She didn’t really go out much at the beginning, aside from going to work, and sometimes to the rooftop of the bookstore that’s right on the corner of the street. Besides, for what it’s worth, I think it was for the best that she decided to meet you when she was ready.” The corner of Blake’s mouth quirked up.

“I know, but… Maybe if I found her sooner, I could have helped her more,” Ruby said, lightly swinging the cup and watching the chocolate swirl inside.

“Ruby… I don’t think it would have ended well.  Now that Yang is better, she can handle this, but even few weeks back she was… well, worse.” Blake frowned slightly.

“Wh-What do you mean worse? I mean, you don’t have to tell me, obviously, I just… I don’t even know.” Ruby’s voice got slightly muffled at the end as she hid part of her face in the nook of her elbow. “I don’t know what to do. How do I make it better?”

Blake sat quietly, pondering for a moment. It was the question that she asked herself all the time, desperate to find any way to help Yang. “I think you being here with her is enough. We can only be there for her and we have to let her figure all this out.”

“I hate it. Not being able to do anything, but just sitting here, it feels…” Ruby started, but seemingly couldn’t find words to finish her thought.

“Frustrating? Yeah, tell me about it. I’ve been racking my brain for months, trying to find something to help her, but everything I did only seemed to make things worse… It’s best not to force the issue. We are here for her and she knows it. That’s enough. And as frustrating as it is, it’s all we can do,” Blake said sadly.

Both women fell silent, lost in their thoughts.

***

It was an honest mistake, most people wouldn’t even consider it as a mistake. Blake wasn’t most people, though.

So when she heard it, it took her by surprise enough to stun her momentarily. She was listening to Ruby, animatedly telling her about this one time that board game night turned into a week-long war in the Rose-Xiao Long household, when she heard something. It was muted by the door and she was distracted by Ruby’s vivid enactment, so she didn’t quite register it. But when Yang shrieked a loud enough “NO!”, even Ruby heard it the second time. Both girls jumped from the chairs, with Blake cursing herself for being lulled into forgetfulness by the leisure of how the evening was going, as they quickly made their way to the blonde’s room.

Yang was trashing on her bed, seemingly trying to break free of something, begging someone to stop. Ruby, stunned at first, almost darted towards her sister after her shock passed, but was stopped promptly by Blake. She threw the faunus a panicked stare.

“What are you doing?! We need to help her!” Ruby’s voice was high-pitched.

“Ruby, you need to stay calm and be careful,” Blake said quietly.

“We need to do something!” Ruby tried to shake Blake’s arm off of her.

“Ruby!” Blake’s voice cut through Yang’s pleading. The younger girl momentarily stopped at the faunus’s serious tone. “We need to be careful, Yang told us what happened with your mom, she is having a nightmare and while I doubt she would, we cannot risk her hurting either of us. I don’t think she would ever forgive herself something like that.”

“What do we do then?!” Ruby’s eyes went wide, as they darted from Blake to wriggling Yang.

“Talk to her, gently. We need to wake her up. Once she does, it will take time for her to come to herself. When she does, you can go to her, but we have to make sure she knows where she is and who she’s with, ok?” Blake said, letting go of the brown-haired girl after receiving a nod.

“Y-Yang? It’s me,” Ruby hesitated, throwing a quick glance at Blake who nodded. “Yang, it’s okay, I am here. You are safe, please, wake up.”

It seemed like nothing was happening at first, but as Ruby talked to her sister, the trashing seemed to lessen, and after few minutes Yang’s eyes shot open and she started to frantically scramble over the bed, trying to gather her bearings.

“Yang?” Ruby made a slow, hesitant step. Blonde’s eyes immediately zeroed in on her sister as she took shaky breaths. “Yang, it’s okay, it’s me, Ruby. Everything is fine, okay? You are safe.”

“Ru-Ruby?” Yang’s voice trembled as beads of sweat rolled down her forehead.

“I’m here, Yang. C-can I come closer?” Ruby asked, stopping herself mid-step.

“Oh god, Ruby. You are here.” The blonde choked a sob. This was seemingly all Ruby could take, as she made her way to the bed and enveloped Yang in a gentle hug, with her sister immediately clutching to her.

“Of course I am here. I’m never leaving you again,” the younger sister said, slowly ushering both of them to lie down. Yang was there, in her arms, shaking and sobbing quietly, and Ruby’s heart bled for her sister, not knowing what to do to make all of that hurt and fear go away. Letting the tears roll down her cheeks, she whispered sweet nothings into Yang’s ears to chase away whatever demons might have haunted her.

Blake exhaled slowly, her back prompted against the wall, as she heard Yang’s breathing slow down. She really didn’t want Ruby to witness any of this. After few minutes, the blonde seemed to relax some more, still safely tucked away in a sisterly embrace. Blake whispered to Ruby if she was ok, and after getting a slight nod in confirmation, she slipped out of the room.

She cleaned the dishes, berating herself at the slightest pang of jealousy that resounded inside of her at how fast and easily the young woman seemed to be able to calm Yang down. Deciding she should probably call it early and figuring that the brown-haired girl would be staying the night, she got some blankets and pillows onto the couch, even though she doubted Ruby would leave Yang’s side for the night.

Lying in bed, the faunus listened for a while for any signs of distress of either of the girls on the other side of the wall. Not hearing anything, she finally allowed herself to feel all the exhaustion slowly envelop her. Even after the nasty reminder that Yang still had a long road left before she was going to be okay, Blake let herself remember how amazingly, all things considered, the rest of the day went. With a hopeful smile, and a feeling that it would all be okay, Blake let herself slowly sink into a peaceful slumber.


	20. Family matters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I AM DONE! The whole story is written at his point in time and all that's left is to post it.
> 
> As awlays hope you enjoy the chapter and see you next week!
> 
> P.S  
> Also we got over 100 kudos... and it's not a big deal or antyhing... I'M NOT CRYING YOU'RE CRYING!

„Come in, Yang. We have a lot to talk about,” Maria called out and Yang groaned, hearing the mirth in the older woman’s voice. This session was going to be a nightmare. Sighing to herself, the blonde stood up and made her way into the office.

“So, since you are here I assume you met with your sister?” Maria asked with a crooked smile.

“Y-Yeah, we met few days ago,” Yang answered carefully.

“And judging by how you look, it went well?” The shutters in Maria’s glasses narrowed slightly.

“Actually… It went great. I… I thought I would never see Ruby again, or even if I did, that she would hate me for leaving or almost hitting her. For what I did to Summer as well,” Yang said, tracing her prosthetic fingers with her left thumb. “But I missed her. Oum, I missed her so much, Maria. And to know that she… That she isn’t mad at me, that she doesn’t hate me. It’s… I can’t even begin to describe how that feels.”

“I’m glad it worked out well for you, Yang.” Maria smiled, and got a smile in return. “So I assume you are staying in touch this time around?”

“Yeah, we exchanged numbers and addresses, and she came by every day so far. She took some time off work so we actually have been spending a lot of time together.” Yang’s smile wasn’t leaving her face.

“I’m not gonna tell you ‘I told you so’, because I am way too mature for that, but you see, Yang? Good things can happen to you. You deserve to be able to smile like that. And it’s a big step as well. I must say, I am proud of the progress you made so far. You should be proud as well,” Maria said, her tone surprisingly gentle.

“Thanks, and thank you for everything, Maria. I know I’m not the easiest to work with, but really, thanks,” Yang said.

“Well, hang on to that gratefulness, because I need to ask you something.” Maria chuckled, seeing Yang’s smile slowly disappearing and her eyes widening.

“What?” the blonde asked carefully.

“What about your parents? I assume you only met your sister. And judging from you saying nothing on the subject, neither she nor you told your parents about the meeting, correct?” Maria asked, getting a nod in return. She continued. “I know it’s an entirely different matter, but you will have to talk to them at some point, Yang.”

“I-I know… Actually, I talked about it with Ruby. We… well, I think I should try and visit them in about a month or so,” Yang said nervously and Maria’s brows shot up with surprise.

“Really? I expected some kicking and screaming about that. Do you feel ready? I can understand apprehensiveness about meeting them, but rushing into things usually also isn’t the best option,” Maria said plainly.

“I know, and believe me, I freaked out pretty hard when Ruby said she’s gonna call Summer when we first met. But we have been talking a lot, and I did tell her a lot about how I felt about them. I know I have to meet them at some point, but I am scared as all hell to do so. I don’t know if I can face Summer after everything I did. And I know Ruby claims they missed me, and they looked for me and all, but… I don’t know. You and Blake, and everyone taught me, that running away won’t help me or anyone. I caused all this mess and I have to fix it. I saw how devastated Ruby was, how much she missed me. I don’t know if Tai and Summer feel the same, but I am trying to allow myself to think that they do. I miss them. I miss all of them. I don’t want to live like I used to anymore, Maria. I am scared shitless, but I have to do it,” Yang said nervously, fiddling with her hands. “Ruby gave me an idea, that we could go visit them on Summer’s birthday this June, and I think… I think I’m gonna do it.”

“I see. It’s okay to feel nervous or have doubts about stuff like this.” Maria closed her eyes. “Family stuff is hard. And facing your mistakes is hard as well. Just remember that no failure is final. You can always try again, there is no shame in a do-over.”

 

* * *

 

“Wait, you are old enough to drink?” Yang asked with mock surprise.

“Yaaaaaaang, I’m a grown up!” Ruby pouted, crossing her arms on her chest. “Stop embarrassing me!”

“Yang, leave your sister alone,” Blake said, chuckling. She never imagined Yang being so… well, Yang. She loved every second of the friendly teasing between the sisters. Ruby was also quickly worming her way into the faunus’s heart, even if it was just because she made the blonde so happy.

“Sorry, but Blake, you have to understand something. Most drunk my sister has been, was from a sugar rush she got after drinking like 3 liters of hot cocoa in an hour. We really thought that would be it for her…” Yang said with seriousness, but the corner of her mouth twitched. “Seeing her in a bar is like seeing a penguin in a sauna.”

Ruby groaned loudly, as much because of the memory of that night, as well as Yang’s teasing. When she asked if she could see where Yang worked, the smirk that her sister gave her should have alerted her to what kind of experience it was going to be. Teasing aside though, Ruby was supremely happy, so much so that she didn’t even feel the usual anxiety and shyness of being in a place like a bar. Yang seemed to be genuinely happy and in a much better mood than she has been in for a very long while as well, according to Blake.

It was nice, the young woman finally felt like she could breathe normally, as if before, without her sister, she was holding her breath constantly. She didn’t even mind the slight bundle of nerves that appeared at the prospect of meeting Coco. She was supposed to be coming back from Mistral today and they all agreed to meet up at Crosshares in the evening.

Watching Yang work gave her a bit of a weird feeling. Her sister changed so much ever since coming back home after the war. At first Ruby couldn’t comprehend why or what happened (aside from the obvious), but now, after all this time, she thought she understood everything much better. There were still things bothering Yang, but she seemed to be doing much better than when they last saw each other on Patch. Also somehow, Yang being a barmaid fit her sister a lot, add to that the amazing chocolate milkshake she got and Ruby’s mood was through the roof.

“Blondie, Belladonna!” A sudden voice made Ruby jump a bit as a slim, slightly taller than herself girl plopped on the stool on the other side of Blake.

“Excuse me, do we know each other?” Blake asked, trying to keep the smile on her face from appearing.

“Ugh, I already miss the old, quiet days.” Yang mocked annoyance, smiling towards Ruby.

“Oh wow, yeah, gang up on poor old Coco. Nice friends you are, really.” Coco huffed, crossing her arms.

“It’s good to see you, Coco, really,” Blake said, this time not hiding her smile.

“So, Coco. Let me introduce you to my sis...” Yang started gesturing towards Ruby, but Coco immediately jumped form the stool and circled Blake to get to Ruby.

“Little Yang! Oh wow… You are actually much less of a little Yang than I expected,” Coco exclaimed loudly, raising her eyebrow.

“Heh, yeah, we don’t really look like sisters, right?” Ruby smiled sheepishly as she extended her hand towards Coco. “I’m Ruby Rose, nice to meet you.”

“Pleasure, I’m Coco, the queen bitch of this castle,” Coco said, proudly earning a slap on the shoulder from Blake and a sigh from Yang.

Ruby’s eyes went wide as she eyed Blake, Yang and Coco, trying to get a clue on how to act near the newly arrived, spirited girl.

“Yang, could you tell Neptune to whip me up something to eat? I am starving,” Coco said, going back to her place on the other side of Blake, as Yang nodded and headed to the kitchen. Once the blonde was gone, she leaned on the bar in front of the faunus and towards Ruby.

“Ho-lee-shit. Good job, little Yang!” Coco said with amazement, throwing Blake a look.

“What? What did I do?” Ruby frantically looked at Coco and Blake.

“I have no idea, but shit, blondie seems to be doing well. Like ‘I have never seen her so well’ well. She was usually all quiet, tormented, and sad, and all that, so that is quite a change,” Coco said with a grin.

“You really think so?” Ruby asked, a bit conflicted between the fact that Yang was so unhappy most of the time before, and that she actually seemed better to both girls. She decided it was best not to think about how bad it had to be for Coco to take one glance at her sister and be surprised by how different she seemed. Tonight was a happy time and Ruby wasn’t going to bring herself down.

“Yeah, trust me. I spent a better part of the last half a year trying to cheer your sister up. She is one stubborn bunch of blonde hair,” Coco replied.

Ruby snickered and decided she liked Coco. Even if she came off a little “aggressive”, she seemed to be genuine and a “no nonsense” kind of a person. Once again she sighed, amazed at how grateful she was to Oum, or whatever other gods were watching, for letting Yang meet such people in her time of need.

***

The night at Crosshares was a rather tame one, with not too many people, and Ruby surprisingly enjoyed herself a lot. Being near Yang, along with her friends (even if it turned out that Coco was a teasing monster), was fun and she started to realize how much she needed to wind down a bit. With her sister gone, Ruby threw herself into work, working with Weiss and preparing their project for launch in Vale. It helped to take her mind off things for a while, but the thoughts of her sister missing would always come back in the evenings and during calmer days. But now? Now she could finally and truly relax, allowing herself to be happy. She sipped her second (and last, Yang said) chocolate milkshake while listening to Coco animatedly telling them how some politician from Haven tried to woo her mother.

“Coco,” Yang suddenly said, ghost of a sad smile appearing on her face, looking towards the entrance, “I think it’s someone for you.”

Three heads turned around from the bar, with only Ruby having no idea what was going on and who to look at. Blake and Coco immediately focused on Fox slowly making his way towards the bar through a loose crowd of people.

“Do you want me to talk to him?” Blake asked, throwing Coco a glance.

Coco sat quietly for few seconds before exhaling loudly.

“Nah, I got this. It’s probably long overdue, right?” she asked, looking at Yang.

“I will get you both something to drink. Are you going to sit in his usual spot?” Yang asked.

“Yeah, thanks, blondie.” Coco jumped from the stool and made her way towards Fox. She stopped in front of him, and they struck a conversation. After guiding him to the side of the bar, they sat down in silence.

“Who’s that?” Ruby asked, turning towards Blake.

“That is Fox. Coco’s… boyfriend, I guess,” Blake said without certainty.

“You guess?” Ruby’s brow went up.

“They had a falling out a while back. It was partially my fault and they needed some space from each other. They haven’t talked in a while.” Yang smiled sadly.

“Oh… well, I’m sure they will figure it out, right?” Ruby said, her smile a bit forced.

“I’m sure they will,” Blake agreed, her smile equal to Ruby’s.

 

* * *

 

Yang flopped into the armchair heavily. For a while both she and Maria sat quietly, the small woman sipping tea and the blonde fiddling with her cup, lost in thought. It was a heavy session. The blonde had to talk about her pregnancy, what led to it, and the decisions she made after finding out. All the things she tried really hard to ignore and forget. It brought up a mixture of feelings that managed to swiftly crush Yang’s good mood, even if Maria warned her they would have to talk about it at some point before, so she had time to prepare.

“Yang, I understand that it’s hard for you to think about this again, but it’s important for us to talk through it. There has been, and will probably be, a lot of heavy stuff that we are going to talk about at some point,” Maria said, slowly eyeing her tea. “The important part about all of this is that you recognize why you did what you did, and if you think that it was a mistake you try to correct it.”

“But I can’t fix this. I can’t go back… I… I can’t fix this one,” Yang said dryly.

“No, you cannot,” Maria agreed.

“What do I do then…?” Yang asked, raising her misty eyes to meet the vibrant blues.

“I know that you won’t like to hear it but… You move on.” Maria shrugged. “You accept that some decisions that you made are irreversible, and you keep going. It’s incredibly important to do that, Yang. If you accept what you’ve done, and you learn from it, then you can get past it. It won’t disappear. You will carry it with you, but not as an anchor to drag you down, but as a learning experience. As a stepping stone to becoming a person that won’t make the same mistake for a second time. It’s a part of who you are now, Yang. There is no changing it. All you can do is accept that part of yourself, along with everything else, and strive to be better because of it.”

“But… I don’t think I can. I know what I did, and even worse, I know why. I don’t think I can forgive myself for that. How can I…?” Yang sniffed, wiping her eyes with her sleeve.

“Like I said, you can move past it. There are ways for you to come to terms with it, Yang, and we will work on some of those. Just believe me when I say that you will get there. Remember that in times like this it always seems like getting better is borderline impossible, but you are here, with me and I am telling you that you will be fine,” Maria said with a gentle smile.

Yang nodded and fell quiet. She felt so genuinely happy for the last two weeks, but now she again felt herself sinking a bit. It wasn’t quite as overwhelming as it used to be, but she did feel all the doubts come back to nibble at her.

“So, are you ready to meet with your parents?” Maria asked after few minutes of them sitting silently.

“I… I think so. It’s in two weeks. Ruby and I will be going together. I wanted to ask Blake to come with us, but it somehow feels wrong,” Yang said, shrugging. “Don’t get me wrong, I would love for them to meet Blake, but maybe not during my first meeting with them after so long…”

“I think it’s the right decision. I think it’s something between you, your sister, and your parents.” Maria nodded.

“I just… Assuming it all goes well, we talk and stuff, do I… Do I tell them?” Yang asked, swallowing heavily.

“Tell them what?” Maria’s shutters narrowed.

“A-About my suicide attempt, and the pregnancy, and stuff.” Yang winced.

Maria hummed thoughtfully.

“Yang, this is your business and it is your choice. If you want my opinion, then yes, you should tell them you attempted to take your own life. They are your family, and your mom and dad, along with your sister, deserve to have a chance to be a part of your support network. It’s good to have people that know, Yang. It is a heavy topic and I’m sure that it will be a lot for them, so you can direct them to me if they need some more answers, or if you would like for me to help you talk it through with them. Now, as for you getting pregnant and terminating… I honestly don’t know. It may help them understand, but it is also a stressful topic and it might become a burden for them. It’s really hard to balance dos and don’ts, and in the end no one will know what the right decision is, or even if there is one. Remember, you don’t have to go into detail of anything. Tell them you don’t want to discuss it at this point and they will have to accept that. Don’t feel pressured to give them detailed rundown of each day since you left,” Maria said, wiping one of her prosthetic eyes with her sleeve.

“Now, I know this was a pretty exhausting session, so I don’t want to see you here till Monday, unless you are going to feel especially bad. Then just drop in and we can talk. For now you should probably talk to Belladonna,” Maria said, jumping down from the armchair and following the leaving blonde.

“I will, thanks, Maria. See you next week,” Yang said and closed the door after her.

 

* * *

 

Blake was lounging on the couch, lazily flipping through the TV, trying to find anything interesting. She stifled a yawn, not finding anything remotely worth any attention. Everyone was busy with work or otherwise occupied, Coco was in meetings about organizing some event at her bar for the whole day and apparently it stretched to the evening, Pyrrha was visiting her parents in Argus, and Yang had a rare late evening session with Maria. Blake was bored, but she also didn’t feel like doing anything. Her ears twitched when she heard rustling of keys, she propped herself to sitting position and stretched. Opening her eyes, she found Yang standing near the wall. She immediately noticed the slump of the blonde’s shoulders and her watery eyes.

“Oh Yang, come here. What happened?” Blake immediately patted the spot on the couch next to her.

“Just a hard session.” Yang sniffled, fiddling with her hands after she sat tensely. “Sorry.”

“No apologizing. Do you want to talk about it?” Blake started rubbing Yang’s back with her hand.

“No… Yes… I don’t know.” Yang shrugged, and Blake pulled her into a hug.

“We don’t have to, if you don’t want to.” Blake felt Yang wrapping her arms around her.

“It’s just… I was trying to forget about stuff that happened before… you know. But Maria said we had to talk about it, for me to be able to move past it, and she’s probably right, but I just can’t do that. It’s bad, Blake. I really fucked up.” Yang sobbed.

“Hey, it’s okay. We all make mistakes, you can’t avoid that. It’s going to be okay and you are doing great. It’s not easy confronting and fixing everything you did, it’s okay for you to feel bad about it from time to time,” faunus said, rocking them absentmindedly.

“But I can’t… I can’t fix this, Blake. Not this time. I fucked up and I have to live with it, and I don’t know how.” Yang shuddered.

“Hey, don’t say that. Whatever it is, I’m sure that we can find a way to make it right. I will help you however I can,” Blake said, frowning. Yang seemed to be doing so good. What could have upset her so much? The faunus was close to phoning Maria to yell at her for bringing so much pain to the blonde again. Whatever it was they “had” to talk about was not worth Yang being like this.

“No, we can’t! I can’t and neither can you, Blake. It’s not something that we can magically fix with few words or some effort.” Yang separated herself from the faunus, raising her voice, and hid her face in her hands. “You don’t understand.”

“No, I don’t… And I won’t, if you don’t talk with me. What is going on, Yang? Should I call Ruby or Maria?” Blake asked, switching to half hug.

“No, it’s fine… I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap like that. It’s just so hard, you know…” Yang’s muffled voice reached Blake through her hands.

They sat like that in silence for a bit while Yang calmed down, and Blake kept hugging her, rubbing her shoulder gently.

“I… Remember when you had to leave for a week and then I got sick?” Yang suddenly dropped her arms. Her voice was slightly hoarse and lacked any emotion.

“Yeah?” Blake asked, frowning. She remembered knowing that something happened. She still had no idea what it could have been.

“I… I was… I did… God, I can’t even say it,” Yang shivered. “Blake, promise me something.”

“Anything.  Its okay, Yang. You don’t have to tell me anything, if you don’t want to,” the black-haired girl said, turning slightly to face the blonde.

“Promise me… that you won’t hate me. And that you won’t tell Ruby any of this,” Yang pleaded.

“Hate you…? Yang, I could never hate you. Whatever happened, whatever you did, I don’t care. You are my friend. I care about you and nothing will change that,” Blake said, her frown deepening.

Yang suddenly got up and went to her room. Blake sat quietly, waiting for the blonde to come back, not knowing what to make of this whole situation. The blonde emerged from her room with a black box and made her way back to the couch. Sitting down, she put the box on the coffee table, more in front of the faunus.

“Open it,” Yang said, balling her prosthetic hand and covering it with her normal one.

“O-Okay.” Blake slowly raised the lid of the box. It was mostly flat, there was a red tray with tools splayed all over it. She raised a questioning eyebrow, glancing at the blonde.

“Under the tray,” Yang said, avoiding Blake’s look.

Slowly grabbing the tray with both hands, she freed it from the box and put it beside it on the table. She noticed a little, long package wrapped in some paper. Blake reached out and took the item from the box. It was very light. She started to gently unwrap it, noticing the shaking of Yang’s hands.

“Yang, I can stop. I don’t have to look at it,” Blake said, looking at the mane of hair that was hiding blonde’s face from her.

“Just open it.”

Blake finished unwrapping the paper and ended up with a mostly rectangular, small piece of plastic. As she slowly turned it around, her brain suffered a critical failure and completely shut down. The faunus expected a lot of things… Actually, no. She expected something. She wasn’t sure what, but definitely not a stick with two red lines on it.

“Oh,” Blake managed to blurt out, her mind completely blank.

“Yeah,” Yang quietly agreed.

“Oh!” The faunus suddenly restated. “Yang, are… are you...?”

“N-No… Not anymore…” Yang shook her head slightly.

Blake’s eyes widened as her brain was finally able to put two and two together. _It was back then… that she got… Not anymore?_

“I terminated it,” Yang said, and Blake could clearly hear the quiver in her voice. “It was when you left for your work trip.”

“Oh, Yang…” Was all Blake could manage to utter before her eyes got watery as Yang started crying.

Blake brought her in into a hug, gently rubbing her hair, whispering reassurances. Yang clutched to her tightly as the sobs wrecked through her. The faunus closed her eyes and let her own tears roll down her cheeks. She couldn’t even fathom how Yang managed anything at all with so much weighing on her for so long. Her heart ached for a way to make it all go away, to help the blonde shivering in her arms feel better, but once again she had nothing. What could she say? That it was fine? That it didn’t matter? All of it sounded so wrong and she figured the only thing she could do was what she has been doing for the blonde all this time. Be her rock, something stable that she could clutch onto in the moment of need.  It was a skill that Pyrrha excelled at. Just being there, no words, no judgments.

They stayed like that, with Blake soothing Yang through all the things she had to cry about. Somehow they moved on the couch, so the faunus was half lying on the couch, with the blonde curled up next to her. Slowly lulled by Yang’s breathing once she calmed down, Blake felt herself drifting away.

 

* * *

 

Over the next few days, Yang’s mood gradually got better. Neither of them talked about what the blonde revealed, but Blake couldn’t shake the feeling that something changed between them. It wasn’t a bad feeling. But she felt something shift, she just couldn’t put her finger on it. Ruby helped a lot, heeding a warning from the faunus, she didn’t ask what happened and instead opted for trying every available way on the planet to lift her sister’s spirit. With just a few days before their trip to Patch, both sisters were starting to get slightly anxious. Yang resumed her favorite hobby of pacing in front of the couch, or rather, she would if Ruby didn’t jump on her back or cling dramatically to her waist or legs whenever she would try it.

***

“Umm, Ruby? Do you know if Summer and Tai still have my clothes and stuff?” Yang asked, standing over her duffle bag.

“Of course, why wouldn’t they? Mom hasn’t touched your room, aside from cleaning a bit and buying new flowers and stuff,” Ruby said from the bed she was sitting on.

“Oh… Then I don’t need to take anything with me, right?” Yang wasn’t sure. When she ran away, all she took was a spare pair of underwear, t-shirt, and pants. She acquired some clothes from Coco, and then bought them herself once she started working at Crosshares, and she wasn’t sure what to pack for their stay. She didn’t feel like she was going back home, but rather as if she was going for a sleepover at a friend’s house. The blonde started pondering, when it was exactly that this apartment took the place of a home in her mind. She wondered if she will ever be able to view Patch as home again. 

“It’s going to be fine, Yang! Mom and Dad are gonna be so happy that you are back!” Ruby said cheerfully, smoothing her pajamas. They decided that Ruby would stay the night at Blake’s, and they would leave after breakfast to be in Patch early afternoon.

Yang stood up from her duffle bag and slid it under her bed, from which she immediately removed her prosthetic case and started mounting her artificial limb inside.

“Yang?” Ruby asked, watching her sister carefully. “Are… Are you not going to wear it tomorrow?”

“Ruby, we talked about this. I may be fine using it every day, but something like that… I will let you take it with us, if you want, but I don’t think I will be able to put it on there,” Yang responded with a sigh. She wanted to. She really did. But she wasn’t ready. Not yet. Not before talking with both of them, before she apologized to Summer.

Ruby slid from the bed next to Yang, and hugged her. “Okay! I will take it. It’s going to be great!”

Yang couldn’t help a light smile that appeared on her face. It was going to be fine. She would finally come face to face with Summer and Tai, and maybe, just maybe, she would finally be able to put her past behind her.

“We should probably get to sleep,” Yang said, patting Ruby on the head. She got up and circled the bed to get on her preferred side of it, but Ruby just unceremoniously jumped onto the covers and put her hands up towards her sister.

“What are you doing, Ruby?” Yang asked, smirking. “Blake prepared the couch for you.”

“But Yaaaaang, sisterly goodnight hugs!” She put on her best pout, and the blonde immediately laughed, plopping into bed with her sister immediately latching to her. When they were younger, Yang would let Ruby worm her way into her bed when she couldn’t sleep because of a nightmare, or was otherwise in worse mood. It was such a simple thing, but the amount of comfort it provided, knowing that her sister was there, just because she wanted to be, was amazing. Feeling slightly less nervous, Yang slowly let sleep envelop her.

 

* * *

 

“Are we there yet?”

“Ruby.”

“How about now?”

“No.

“And now?”

“Ruby, I swear to Oum…”

“I’m boreeeeeed.”

“10 more minutes.”

“Traveling sucks. Busses suck. Why didn’t you let me get Weiss to lend us her fancy private ship?”

“Ruby, if I give you a cookie, will you at least try to pretend you are pretending to be patient?”

“Make it two and you have a deal, sis!”

Yang sighed heavily, fishing for cookies in her backpack. Finding the last two of the sizeable portion she acquired for their trip, she threw them onto her sister lap. Ruby started to happily munch on her treats as Yang took in the familiar views, through the bus windows. It felt bizarrely alien, like she was gone for few decades, instead of only around a year and a half. Everything was exactly as she remembered. Patch being a small island seemed to have its own time flow. The same vibrant green forests and quaint houses randomly splayed across the whole island composed a very idyllic image. With the main settlement being focused around the only harbor on the east part of the island, along with Singal academy, the rest of it was littered with small houses and farms. It was supposed to feel like home, but was it anymore?

Yang felt a nudge in her side, and when she looked at Ruby, she saw her sister smiling at her, almost bouncing in her seat.

“Oh my god, we are here! Come on, Yang! Let’s go!” With that, the younger girl shot out of the bus like a rocket. Yang followed her much slower, stepping onto the dirt road with a loud exhale. Home.

Closing her eyes, the blonde took few deep breaths, trying to calm her pounding heart.

“Come on, Yang!” Ruby shouted, standing near the path splitting from the “main road” leading into the forest. The pathway, once so familiar, seemed different while somehow staying exactly the same as Yang was used to.

For a while they walked in total silence, broken only by the noise of their footsteps rustling the dirt on path and Ruby’s cheerful humming. After what seemed like three steps for Yang, they got into the clearing with a single house made from light-brown wood.

They both stopped, and Yang felt her sister’s hand slide into her own, as she beamed a smile at the blonde. After taking few shaky breaths, they slowly made their way towards the entrance, with Ruby slightly dragging Yang behind her.

“I’m home!” Was the first thing Ruby yelled as they got inside and took their boots off in the entry hallway.

She burst into the living room to see Taiyang sitting on the couch, reading a newspaper, only glancing from it with a smirk.

“Oh, were you gone? I didn’t even notice” If there was one thing everyone seemed to love to do, it was to tease Ruby whenever possible.

“Don’t listen to him, sweetheart. You should have seen him when you said you were visiting. I don’t know who was more excited, Tai or Zwei.” Summer’s melodic voice sounded from the kitchen. “I’m making something to drink, be right there!”

Ruby turned around and smiled towards Yang, who was stalling in the hallway. After a final deep breath, she made her way to her sister, just as her father was groaning, looking at Summer who was leaving kitchen with a tray full of drinks.

“She doesn’t really have to know that hon...” He started, but Summer promptly dropping her tray and lifting hands to cover her mouth stopped him. “Honey? What’s wrong?”

A familiar voice sounding in the living room made his head snap towards the source of it so violently, that Ruby was sure he was going to break his neck.

“H-Hi...” Yang slowly said, squeezing Ruby’s hand. “I’m-I’m home.”


	21. A lilac to soothe your soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did you guys know that violet lilacs represent one's spirituality? Me neither. Now we all know courtsey of my, mysterious as always, Bat friend.
> 
> 1 more chapter. Like holy shit it's actually one more chapter and we are done...
> 
> As always have a great read, an even better weekend!
> 
> P.S  
> I really love the way volume 7 seems to be going. Also You know who's new design is absolutely amazing <3

“I’m home”. A simple phrase that rolled through the wooden house like a bulldozer.

Summer, seemingly in shock, gravitated towards Yang, her steps hesitant and uneven, like she wanted to run, but did everything in her power to stop herself from lounging forward. If there was ever a definition of an ugly crier, Summer Rose would be just that. With each step more and more tears pooled in her eyes, as she desperately tried to rein them in, crinkles and ridges appearing as she weirdly contorted her tense face. By the time she got to Yang, Summer was a sniffing, sobbing, and blubbering mess.

“Y-Y-Yaang,” she managed to choke out. “My b-ba-byy.”

The older woman reached with her shaky hands and palmed Yang’s cheeks, before throwing herself onto her and pressing her wet face into the blonde’s neck.

When she first entered the living room, for a few seconds, Yang imagined the worst. Seeing the shocked expression on Summer’s face, she fell into a pit of doubt and fear, expecting her stepmother to yell at her, tell her to get out. With each step she took, the blonde tensed more and more, expecting harsh words or even a slap to the face. She wouldn’t blame her. After all she put her through, how could Yang expect anything else than anger and hatred?

It all disappeared the moment Summer’s small, shaky hands gently touched her cheeks. There were no doubts, no fears, no nothing, because Yang realized, looking at the flooded silver eyes, so much like Ruby’s, that Summer was overwhelmed with happiness and relief, solace at the sight of her missing daughter . Yang has never seen her more elated. And when the older woman hugged her tightly, it wasn’t desperate, it wasn’t fearful. It was motherly and wistful. Yang’s legs almost gave out at the absolutely overwhelming feeling of being welcomed into the arms of a loving parent. She completely missed the loud, thudding steps of approaching Tai until he enveloped both of them from the side, with Ruby clinching to both women from the other. Sudden excited bark sounded at their feet as Zwei came in, running on his little paws, lured by the commotion.

They all stayed like that for a good while, until Summer squirmed away from Yang and again palmed her cheeks. Still sniffing and sobbing, she beamed such an incredible smile, that the blonde wondered how she didn’t go blind from the sheer radiance of it.

“Oh, my b-beautiful sunflower.” Summer laughed. “Oh Yang, I missed you so much!”

“I… I missed you too,” Yang answered, putting her palm on top of Summer’s and smiling shakily.

Ruby, sniffing on the side, made her way to the couch where Tai relocated and dropped onto it heavily with a goofy smile on his face, his eyes glossy. The smaller girl sat down and he immediately pulled her into a one-armed hug as she grinned at him.

“How have you been? Are you okay? Come sit. Oh Oum, it’s so good to see you!” Summer squealed, not being able to stop herself from hugging Yang again. The blonde instantly reciprocated, basking in the intensely familiar and soothing rosy smell and the warmth of the older woman. After crouching down to say hello to Zwei who went on a licking rampage, hell-bent on licking the skin on her face off of Yang’s bones, they slowly made their way to the couch, with Ruby jumping up and starting to clean the tray that was dropped and forgotten, joined by the little corgi sniffing around the puddles of juice.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe this is happening!” Summer exclaimed excitedly, suddenly turning around to her younger daughter. “You! You knew! How did this happen? Explain yourself, little rose!” she asked incredulously, pointing a finger at her younger daughter.

Ruby let out a sheepish laugh, scratching the back of her head, and was about to answer, but before she did, Yang spoke first. “I… I think maybe I should tell you?”

“Oh baby, please. We want to know everything.” Summer turned to Yang, grabbing her hand. Tai put his arm around his wife as he gazed at his daughter over the older woman.

“I only recently reached out to Ruby.” Yang swallowed thickly. “We met a month ago.”

“RUBY ROSE!” Summer jolted up, and Ruby, along with Zwei happily trotting next to her feet, froze up, straightening her back as she was leaving the kitchen, having finished cleaning up the mess. “A WHOLE MONTH?! YOU KNEW ABOUT YOUR SISTER FOR A WHOLE MONTH AND YOU HAVEN’T TOLD US?!”

“I…” Ruby started frantically.

“Summer, please!” Yang quickly stood up, the dog immediately appearing at her feet, she instantly regretted her words as every single one of them cringed at the use of older woman’s name. But she couldn’t call them mom and dad yet. Not before they knew everything, not before she apologized. “It was my choice. I begged Ruby not to tell you, guys, even if that was the first thing she wanted to do.”

Tai was frowning and Summer seemed stuck somewhere between a frown and a pout. Yang gestured Ruby to take her place on the couch as she dropped into one of the armchairs to the side.

“Yang… why? Why didn’t you want to tell us? We would have come the moment we knew,” Tai asked slowly.

“That’s exactly why… I-I wasn’t ready.” Yang sighed, noting their widened eyes. “I needed time to prepare myself to face… all of this.” She gestured around the house. “To face you.”

“Yang, what happened to you? Why did you leave? Where did you go? What happened?” Summer asked. She spoke softly and slowly, but you could easily hear the Ruby-like nervous jitter behind it.

Yang took a deep breath. This was it. She pondered where she should start, and remembering what Maria told her about beginnings. Deciding that she should just start anywhere, the blonde recounted her time since running away till she met Ruby, without mentioning Maria, or her suicide attempt. Noticing her sister’s frown deepening, she gave her a sad smile. After she finished telling them about recent months, she fell silent for a minute, closing her eyes and taking few deeper breaths as she braced herself for what she was about to reveal.

“I need to tell you all something, and I really need you to let me say it. It’s hard enough on its own, so please, just let me talk. I will answer all the questions you have, I promise, just let me say what I have to say first, okay?” Yang said, opening her eyes. Noticing more frowns, but getting their nods in response, she settled deeper into the chair.

“To answer your previous question why I ran away… I… I hated myself. Even before everything happened, the war and running away, and stuff. Ever since Raven, I always blamed myself for everything that happened. Tai left and it was my fault. Raven was my mother and I was too much like her and he couldn’t take it.” Yang noticed all of them open their mouths at the same time and she raised her palm to silence them. “Please, let me finish. I know what you want to say, but like I said, that’s how it was.”

They all sat in silence, but Tai was squeezing his fists so hard, that his knuckles went white. Summer’s knotted fingers were shaking slightly, and Ruby was just looking at her hands, fidgeting slightly on her lap.

“When it was just the three of us, I felt like I was wasting your time. You cared and provided for me when I wasn’t even your daughter. I tried to help out, I figured that if I wasn’t worthy of the time you gave me, I could sacrifice it all to take care of Ruby and do things around the house to try and repay even a miniscule amount of the debt, that I felt I was amassing towards you.” Yang fell quiet for a second, forcing everything out in the open like that was harder and scarier than she ever thought it would be. “And when Tai came back, when we were all seemingly happy, I figured I had to remove myself to somehow avoid destroying your happiness, so… I joined the army.”

Summer wiped a stray tear out of her eye. Her daughter, her ray of sunshine, was silently suffering and she didn’t notice. Yang was always smiling, cheering everyone up, and yet she carried all this guilt and blame on her tiny back all this time, and Summer missed it. What kind of a mother was she? She always took whatever life threw their way head-on, doing what she could to make the best out of every situation, and she thought she was doing a good job. But she failed. She failed her daughter.

“I didn’t believe in the war, but I figured that maybe I would at least manage to help someone this way. Do something good. Somehow offset this decay that I thought I was spreading everywhere I went. As you know, stuff happened during the war, I lost some people, I lost my arm. It was a rather harsh wake-up call. I failed. Because of me, my people were dead, and I even managed to become a bigger burden for everyone than I already was because of my arm.” Yang took a deep breath and, looking at their horrified faces, continued. “Now I know I was wrong. I’m just trying to explain to you why I did what I did.”

Punch something. Tai needed to punch something. During those 3 years while searching for Raven, this became his coping mechanism. Punching walls, trees, rocks, until his knuckles bled. He never stopped blaming himself for everything that happened with Yang’s mother. He knew that he would spend the rest of his life making amends for his mistakes, for his weak will that led him to his alcoholism, for almost screwing up the best things that happened to him: Yang, Summer and Ruby.

“After I attacked you in my nightmare and after raising my hand on Ruby, I knew I didn’t deserve to be a part of your life. I needed to get away before I fucked everything up for good. I couldn’t risk making either of you suffer any more than you already had on my behalf, so I went away. In my mind that was the best option for all of you. Your life would finally be perfect without me in it to fuck everything up, so I left. I didn’t care about what would happen to me. I only wanted what I thought was best for you.” Yang smiled sadly to all of them.

As Yang was recounting her journey and meeting Blake, Ruby had no idea what to say, think, or feel. She knew Yang was… troubled, but to find out to what extent, it was baffling, to say the least. She felt empty, knowing how much her sister sacrificed for her, how much she always put her first, seemingly throwing her life away in the process. No friends, no boyfriends, no anything. Ruby felt like a thief. She stole a huge chunk of her sister’s life by being socially inept, awkward, mess of a person.

“Now that you all know now what happened to me while I was away, let me say this: I am not okay. I am trying to get there, but it’s so, so hard. I’ve never done anything remotely as hard as this. I wouldn’t be able to do it without Blake, and Coco, and Pyrrha. I… I did some horrible stuff. Before I started getting professional help, I… I was really low. I actually took one step too far. One day when Blake was out, I tried to… I had some p-pills and some alcohol, and I tried to k-kill myself.” Yang deflated after choking it out finally as chaos ensued. Tai and Ruby exclaimed a loud “WHAT?!” and Summer looked ready to jump over the table to get to the blonde in a heartbeat. They all looked at her with such myriad of emotions crossing their faces, scrambling chaotically, that she almost felt dizzy.

Ruby got to her first. She was what you would describe as petite, even if she gained some height, she was always on the lean side, almost lanky. Being a grown-up, she still somehow managed to compact herself enough to jump onto Yang’s lap and curl into a small ball, clutching to her sister, nuzzling her face into blonde’s chest while sobbing quiet noes into her. Summer wasn’t far behind, dropping next to the armchair and pulling Yang’s head into her chest as her tears fell on the blonde mane below her. Tai on the other hand hid his face in his hands and just sat on the couch, unmoving.

Yang allowed them to digest all of what she said and stayed quiet. She hated bringing any of them any more pain, but she hoped it was for the best. Hope. That was a new and foreign concept to her, but to her surprise, that’s what she found herself doing. Hoping that they would understand with time, that they would be okay.

Once everyone calmed down, Yang nudged both Ruby and Summer to look at her. “I still have something to say.” Noticing everyone’s horrified expressions, she quickly added, “Don’t worry it’s not bad… I think.”

Summer nodded and gave her a kiss on the forehead as she moved to the couch, almost making Yang fall apart from such a simple gesture that she was so starved for.

“Ruby?” Yang asked, looking down on her sister still curled up onto her lap.

“No,” the younger girl said, squeezing the arms thrown around Yang’s waist a bit and nuzzling more into her. Zwei jumped on the couch burrowing into Summer’s side whining quietly at one of his owner’s distress.

Yang sighed, adjusting a bit, and slowly started stroking her sister’s back.

“The last things I want to say for now is that there are still some things I’m not ready to talk about, but I will answer any questions you have. I will give you the number to Maria – my therapist – if you want to talk with her. I told her she’s allowed to share anything pertaining to me with you guys at her own discretion and...” Yang took a deeper, shaky breath, making Ruby look up with one eye. “That I am so sorry for everything. For all the ways I hurt each and every one of you, for leaving. I know now how much I fucked up and I’m so sorry…” Yang hugged Ruby tighter, hanging her head lower.

“Oh, baby,” Summer said, tears still streaming down her face. She slowly got up and stood with her arms open, waiting for Yang. Seeing that, Ruby finally managed to unlatch herself from her sister and let her go to their mother, picking up the corgi who was sitting quietly at their feet waving his short tail.

“I never ever, even for a second, thought of you as anything less than my daughter.” Summer gently enveloped Yang. “I don’t care who gave birth to you, Yang. You are mine, and I love you both all the same, don’t you ever forget that.”

A heavy shudder rolled through the blonde as she finally allowed herself to fall apart, sobbing and hugging her mother tightly. Summer gently rocked both of them, whispering soothing things into Yang’s hair as she tried to transfer all the love and affection she could possibly muster into this one hug. When they separated after a long while, Summer gently wiped the tears, spilling from crimson pools.

“Yang, I…” All heads turned to Tai as he stood up, trying to say something, but ended up drawing a blank. His face tense and lips pulled.

“I know,” Yang said tearfully, unclutching her left arm from Summer and opening it up for him to join them. “I know… Dad, Mom,” she said with a smile, switching her gaze to Summer as Tai quickly got to them, giving her a long kiss on the top of her head. Her dad was one of the few people who would always tower over her, and this time it gave Yang the feeling of content and safety. Summer squealed happily at Yang’s words and promptly hid her face in the blonde’s neck.

After they all disjointed, Summer positively radiating happiness with a beaming smile and Tai looking as if he aged at least 10 years, but with a soft smile, and Zwei running around them, barking happily, Yang turned to see two watery silver plates, slightly darker than their mother’s, watching her from over the knees that Ruby brought up to hide behind. Yang smiled sadly and knelt in front of the arm chair, leveling their eyes.

“I know, Ruby. I know what you think,” Yang said and looked over her shoulder at her parents, “I know what you all think. I won’t say to not blame yourselves, because I know how hard it is. Just know that whatever happened... However it all came to be, it doesn’t matter. You can’t change the past any more than I can, and for what it’s worth, I don’t think I could have been brought up in a better family. I would never ever change anything in any of you. I love you,” Yang said, looking straight into Ruby’s eyes.

Ruby nodded as silent tears rolled down her cheeks, and the blonde dropped to the ground, propping herself up on the lower part of the armchair. She was positively exhausted and it all still felt like a haze. Being back here, on Patch, in her house, with her family. That was it. That was the goal she was working towards. That’s why she tried so desperately to get better and whatever happened, however it went during those next few days, Yang for the first time in her life felt proud of herself.

The rest of the day passed in a breeze. Summer prepared dinner as she beamed at everyone, switching between thoughtful silence and wide smiles that lit up the house. Tai mostly sat quietly, smiling goofily at his daughters, with his eyes going misty sometimes. Ruby was quiet, gently stroking the little furball that curled in her lap whenever she sat somewhere.

They all decided to head early to bed after a loaded day, but before they did, Yang and Ruby approached Summer with their hands behind their backs.

“Happy birthday, mom.” They both smiled, each pulling a differently colored rose from behind their backs, Yang’s was yellow and Ruby’s red. It was a small gesture, but Summer nearly broke down in front of them, putting the flowers into a vase and pulling both girls into a tight hug.

***

A knock on the door tore Ruby away from her absently wandering mind, Zwei napping in the feet of her bed. She was chilling in her room, surprisingly not playing video games, reading comic books, or listening to music, but just lying there, letting her mind float through different thoughts aimlessly.

“Yes?” she called, and smiled, albeit weaker than usually, at the sight of her sister’s head peeking through the door.

“Hey, sis, got a minute?” Yang asked, stepping into the room.

“Sure, what’s up? I thought you would be sleeping already,” Ruby asked, sitting on her bed. She smiled, but it faltered quickly.

“I wanted to check up on you,” Yang said, sitting next to her sister.

“Me? I’m fineee,” Ruby said and winced at how unconvincing she sounded, even to herself.

“No, you are not, neither of us are. And it’s okay. I know what I told you all was some heavy stuff, and I’m sorry for worrying you. But I figured it would be the best for everyone, if I was honest for once in my life.” Yang reached halfway with her hand, leaving it open for Ruby to put hers in if she wanted.

“I… It was a lot. I had no idea you felt like that. I just feel so bad about myself, like I didn’t care enough to notice or even try to,” Ruby said, hesitating, but grabbing the offered hand after a moment. “And then when you said you… you tried… and I just can’t even imagine what I would do w-without y-you…” Ruby started sobbing quietly. Yang just sat there quietly, rubbing her thumb over her sister’s knuckles.

“You don’t have to, Ruby. I am here, thanks to everyone I am finally here and I am never leaving again. I promise,” Yang said, wrapping Ruby in a side hug.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

***

Tai was standing on the porch, propped up on the wooden barrier, looking at the cloudless starry sky, when he heard quiet footsteps behind him.

“We should really head to bed,” Summer said behind him.

“I don’t think I could sleep, even If I wanted to.” He sighed, but a smile graced his lips when a mug with hot tea appeared in front of him.

“Yeah,” Summer said, sitting on the steps next to Tai and leaning on one of the wooden supports.

They stayed like that, taking in the beautiful sky above them and the warm summer night, sipping their tea, lost in their thoughts.

“I… What do we do?” Tai suddenly asked.

„I don’t know, Tai. I wanted Yang to come back so hard. But she has been dealing with so much and so much of it is our fault,” Summer said sadly, fiddling with her mug.

“Summer… You were never anything other than extraordinary. You did everything you could. It’s my fault. I screwed everything up. I don’t know how am I supposed to look her in the eye.” Tai sounded tired, emotionally washed out.

“Stop it, Tai. You messed up, but I did as well. I could have handled so many things better. We are a family, we screwed up together,” Summer said resolutely, standing up. “Our daughters need us. It’s going to take a while, though it’s hard to imagine ever getting over it, but I think Yang is right. We can’t change what happened, but I will be dammed if I ever let something like this happen to either of them again.”

“Summer I...” Tai started hesitantly, turning towards his wife.

“I know, honey. I know,” Summer answered, immediately leaning into his embrace.

***

The next few days passed in a jiffy. The three women lounged around the house or took walks through the island, while Tai was at work. They all spent Friday at the cliffs, playing with Zwei and enjoying warm summer heat, mixed with refreshing ocean breeze. Summer was finishing her painting, which in a bout of happiness and inspiration, turned from a landscape of the cliffside into an epic battle scene of Ruby flying on a giant white robotic wasp, shooting silver laser beams from her eyes at giant, pitch black sea monster, with a white mask and glowing red eyes. They all teased Ruby about selling the painting, which the younger girl immediately claimed for herself as the “awesomest thing in the entire universe”. Yang felt so light, she was afraid she would float off into the sky.

The very same evening, the blonde found herself on the porch along with her dad. They sat quietly for a while, watching Zwei chase birds and squirrels around the backyard, and enjoying the scenery before the silence was broken with a question.

“Hey, dad?” Yang asked.

“Hmm?” he hummed in answer.

“Was… Was it hard for you to come back? You... You don’t have to answer. Sorry, if it’s too much to ask.” She eyed him carefully.

With a sigh, Tai went down the couple steps from the porch, urging her to come with him with a wave.

“It was the hardest thing I have ever done,” he said after a moment, as Yang fell into step with him, the corgi following them closely.

“When Summer kicked me out, I was in a very bad place. I was angry at Raven, at Summer, and at myself. I had no idea what to do and for a while I ended up in different bars along the island.” Tai put his hands in his pockets. “One day, when I woke up in a field somewhere, I told myself that was enough. I had to do something. I was too ashamed to come back to you, guys, so I decided to search for Raven and tell her I’m over her, and I never want to see her again.”

They got to a small clearing, with a tree lying at the edge of it, cleanly cut from its stump. Yang looked around curiously. This was the spot where Tai used to train her. He gestured at the stump, for the blonde to sit on, as he leaned on the fallen tree.

“For three years I searched for her. Qrow helped on and off, whenever he would be available, and while I promised myself that I would stop drinking, I was too weak for that. There were hard days… I fell off the wagon couple times, once almost landing in jail. Qrow managed to smooth everything out and it was actually him who got me into a group therapy thing. It took me almost a year to be ready and try to come back,” he said, picking at the bark.

“It’s hard, isn’t it…? Confronting everything that you’ve done. Everyone you hurt,” Yang said, not expecting an answer, and picking up Zwei who was trying to jump onto her lap.

Tai’s heart throbbed, because he could understand. He hated that this was something he could share with his daughter. The hardships of failure and having to fix your life.

“Yang, I… I’m sorry I wasn’t able to be a better father,” he said quietly.

“It’s okay, dad. I forgive you.” She smiled to Tai, getting up, and went to him for a quick hug.

While they were going back to the house, Yang could hear silent sniffs, but gave her father a courtesy of pretending not to notice. He was a tough guy, after all.

“Yang,” he said as they were nearing the house. “If… If you ever want to talk about Raven…”

Yang considered the offer for a second. Raven was her birth mother. Did she want to know anything about her? Why she left her? Twice?

“Thanks, but… I think I’m fine. Maybe someday, but for now I have my real parents to think about,” the blonde said, without turning back, as she headed into the house, Zwei zooming in past her once she opened the door.

***

“Do you really have to gooo?” Summer whined with a pout.

Yang’s eyebrow went up as she smirked to herself. She forgot how much of a carbon copy of Summer Ruby was.

“Yeah, sorry mom. I only took a week off of work. But hey, I can come by next time I have some free time on my hands, if you want,” the blonde said, turning to her mother who was giving her such intense puppy eyes, that she had to immediately turn around not to cave in and stay there forever.

“But I just got you back, I miss you already,” Summer said, latching herself onto Yang’s back. “I don’t want you to go so soon.”

Yang sighed. She didn’t want to go on one hand, but she also needed some space from all of this. The blonde felt like a new person after spending few days on Patch, and she needed some time to figure herself out.

“I know… And it was amazing here. I didn’t dare to hope that you, guys, would forgive me, and that I would be able to feel at home here again. But… And I say this with amazement, I kind of have a life in Vale now. I have a job and a home there. My friends as well. But just because I go back there, doesn’t mean I’m gone, mom. I’m not going to run away again. I couldn’t. Not after I finally got everything back,” Yang said, turning in Summer’s arms and hugging the older woman back.

They separated after a while and Summer wiped her eyes quickly. Of course she knew Yang was right. She was back. Her daughter was back, but she made a place for herself in Vale, and it was fine. Summer was more than ecstatic to just know that her daughter was fine. And now they could visit and call, and do all those things she really wanted to do, but couldn’t before. As sad as it was, she knew it was all fine now.

 

* * *

 

“I’m back!” Yang called out, closing the door to the apartment. As she straightened back from dropping her backpack full of the things she brought back from Patch and her prosthetic case, she was enveloped by a pair of arms, immediately washing her over with a delicate scent of lavender. She knew Blake would be home, but the blonde was surprised by the sudden greeting.

She returned the hug and they stayed like this for a moment, before the faunus quickly untangled herself from Yang and took a step back, dropping her gaze to the floor, cheeks slightly rosy and hands folded in front of her sheepishly.

“So-Sorry. I was just worried and I didn’t want to call you and bother you with anything, and I just…” She fell silent after a while. Yang’s brows rose up and she quirked a light open-lipped smile. It was so unusual to see Blake flustered enough to ramble like that.

“Awwh, it’s okay, Blake. I missed you too,” Yang said teasingly.

“Whatever,” Blake huffed, crossing her arms. “I assume everything went well?” she asked, this time smiling happily. She was still trying to reel in her initial outburst. Yes, this week without Yang was indeed a trial, one that Blake did not expect at all.

For some reason, the faunus found herself increasingly anxious at the prospect of not being there for Yang, in case the blonde needed her. It was ridiculous, because she was with Ruby and her parents, and it was fine, but still for some inexplicable reason, Blake had a really hard time during those few days. She almost broke and called Yang to see if everything was all right, even if she knew she shouldn’t, but was reeled in by Coco and then Pyrrha, telling her what she herself knew perfectly well. Yang needed time. The brunette’s shit-eating grin and the redhead’s sad, understanding smile haven’t helped her one bit.

“Yeah. It was… God, I don’t even know how to describe it, Blake. It was great. Telling them everything has been hard and scary as hell, and well, there are still some things to work out. But yeah, it’s great to… to have them again.” This time it was the faunus’s turn to be surprised by a sudden hug. “Thanks, Blake. For everything,” the blonde murmured quietly into her shoulder.

“I didn’t do anything. It was all you, Yang,” Blake answered, content to keep this hug going as long as she could.

“No, Blake, without you I wouldn’t even had a chance. You literally saved my life and I will never forget that. I don’t know how I will ever repay you,” Yang said as she wrapped her hand around Blake just a bit tighter.

“Wanna hear about Patch?” The blonde asked after a while, separating herself from Blake.

“Sure. I’m dying to know how it was with your parents,” Blake answered excitedly, ignoring the sadness at the loss of contact, and went to the kitchen to make them something to drink.

They spent the rest of the evening on the couch, with Yang animatedly telling Blake all about their trip to the island, her parents, and Ruby’s new treasured painting that Summer promised to send to her in Vale. It was bad. Really bad. The faunus couldn’t stop smiling, to the point where her cheeks hurt. The blonde finally seemed happy and excited. The more Yang seemed to get better, the less Blake found herself able to rein in the absolutely inappropriate feelings that started welling up inside her again.

The faunus sighed to herself as she again tried focusing on the blonde’s story.

***

Blake grumbled under her breath as she picked her clothes for the day. She really didn’t feel like working, but knowing there was no way out as they were so close to publishing a book she was editing, she sighed and dressed quietly.

She mumbled a hello, throwing a quick glance at Yang who was munching on a toast, eyeing the faunus. Deciding to forego the breakfast, she went past the blonde, the table, and started heading towards the door, when her brain finally registered something it almost missed. Stopping suddenly, she twisted and got back to the table with few long strides. Yang was about to reach for another toast when Blake gently grabbed her face with her palms and turned her towards her two amber pools that only got wider once they came face to face. For few seconds they stayed like this, until Yang started to squirm slightly, not dropping the eye contact, but being unnerved by the intensity in faunus’s stare and the miniscule distance that separated their faces.

“B-Blake?” Yang gasped.

“Yang. Bathroom. Now,” Blake stated as she slowly straightened back up.

“What?” Yang frowned, she had no idea what was going on.

“Come on!” Blake said, pulling her sleeve. She was grinning widely.

Yang stood up, slightly dazed by the situation, and allowed Blake to haul her up to the bathroom. She felt the faunus push her inside unceremoniously. Stopping before the mirror, Yang pointedly looked down at the sink which she propped herself on.

“Yang, look,” Blake said.

“Blake… you know I don’t do mirrors,” Yang said, not looking up.

“Yang, please, just… just trust me. Look,” Blake said, and the blonde could hear the smile in her voice.

Slowly, she lifted her head, closing her eyes and bracing herself to see a familiar image of a person she came to hate so much during her life. Herself. Slightly rounder face with sunken cheeks, lips pursed together without a hint of a smile. And her eyes. Her crimson eyes, serving as a mockery of who she was.

She opened them, and with a gasp, she staggered back, right into Blake who braced her gently. She took a shaky step forward, towards the mirror. Gone was the tense, pained expression she used to wear constantly, her cheeks, while still a bit sunken, filled out a bit. Her face was gentle, with currently slightly quivering lips. There was nothing more to hate in what she was looking at. But the biggest change, one that Yang never imagined she would witness again, and one she still had trouble believing in, were her eyes. Gone were the painfully red irises, the eyes she used to hate, treating them as her legacy, as a proof of her failure at being a decent person. Gone was the aggressive color of blood.

Instead, a gentlest hue of lilac took its place.


End file.
